nh's big book of Dr. visits.

[nh23]

Me too!!

*HUGGS the pretty lady*

Within the last year my mom has gone through a similar thing. I don't remember how exactly everything went....

She was going to get her pap; it came back abnormal. They didn't do a biopsy, I do know this. The doctor saw on her ovaries what looked to be cancer. So, they wanted to do surgery the following week for a hysterectomy. But didn't have it done that next week but about a month or so later when she had time to get things in order, she went and had the hysterectomy. Then the doctors biopsied the ovaries and found out that it wasn't cancer.

So, maybe once you get your results back and are talking to your doctor about the next step and the fact you can't have any more kids for (insert reasons here), you can get the hysterectomy. I have my fingers crossed, honey.

*sending good vibes your way and thinking bout you always*

Thank you guys!

 

[nh23]

I had a hysterectomy five years ago. To the shock of many, I went to Hong Kong to have the surgery. Why? Doctors at the 'world-class,' renowned medical center that I consulted in the States were adamant that laparoscopy was not an option for me because I had some 'abnormalities, (tilted uterus and fibroids just to name two).

I flew to Hong Kong (my children's 2nd home), went straight into the hospital and 3 days later I had absolutely no pain, discomfort.... nothing. In fact, the last day, the only discomfort was a sore throat from the breathing tube during surgery.

Obviously this particular option is not as easy to choose for most people, but you need to push, and have your Master (see end-note please) push as well to avoid the old-fashioned, huge belly incision, major surgery that takes at the least 6 weeks for recovery. (and sex!!!)

The laparoscopy is also MUCH less expensive. I know from experience that when you are not feeling well, it can be so difficult to advocate for yourself, so you need to enlist the support of those around you. Remember that letting them help you now will allow you to get back to your selfless service to them much, much sooner.

love and prayers, hon...
linds

***end note: Your doctor blog is amazing. When you have more energy, you should really consider expanding it into a short, real-life novel. From a writer's standpoint, just the fact that you are living out an alternative life-style will create 'buzz.' What could easily make it a best seller is the incredible love between you and your Master. I literally get tears in my eyes - it is stunningly, achingly beautiful. Please keep it in mind, and feel free to pm me at any time.

Thank you for your story.

I don't think I'm much of a writer..LOL. I have the hardest time articulating things. Master on the other hand is the creative one. He has a way with words, and he's a painter, I have his painting hung all over my house. We'll have to try to get him to write the book.

 

[nh23]

Yesterday..

I know I've posted about this before... I can't be in a relationship where I'm treated too nicely all the time. It's just not my thing, and is a surefire way to make me miserable.

In the past few weeks Master has been, understandably, treating me with kid gloves.

There are four days left of my two weeks with no sex. Well yesterday my little nympho bitch really reared her ugly head. I asked Master nicely several times if we could have sex, and he told me no. That there were four more days, and he didn't want to go against the doctors orders.

As the day went on I got more pouty and more whiny. I raged about how I was too fucking young to be sick, how life was unfair..yada, yada.

Eventually I started bugging Master again. He then gives me a warning about the possibility of me getting what I'm asking for and not liking it.

I was hurt and felt unloved. The nympho part of me is irrational. She can get tons of cuddles, and love, and sweet words, but if she's not being emotionally or physically hurt, or fucked....I feel unloved, unwanted, dirty, unworthy..

So as much as I hate to admit this I had a bit of a temper tantrum. A very childish one.

So Master gets angry. Flips me over on my back and fucks me. And OMG it was miserable, the flaming torch all over again. I now understand the two week rule much better.

So after he's done. He smirks at me and asks me how I feel. I try to play it off and say fine. He says don't lie to me slave. So I admit it hurts....a lot. He says now you see why I enforce the rules I do. It's what's best for you, and I bet next time you'll listen. The temper tantrums aren't going to work with me, I don't care if you are sick.

And then and there..bliss. Not because in a round about way, I got what I wanted. Because that stopped the second he entered me and it felt like I was on fire. But, because the kids gloves had finally come off. He wasn't afraid to be a little rough with me, or enforce his point of view. And boy, how I've missed that these past few weeks.

I think aside from the fact that my kitty hurts yesterday was a very good day for us. He realized that even though I'm sick, I don't need to be babied. If he always lets me have my way, sick or not, eventually I would start to lose respect for him. It's just what I need. He too would become complacent I think.

No worries for the safety concerns. He was very careful and took proper precautions to prevent infection or injury. I'm a little sore, but perfectly fine.

 

[MasDom]

That day I could see it in her eyes, and the way she was acting. The way it was echoing around in her head that she was less, due to her situation.
Something she had hinted on earlier as this progresses.


I do not think any one can really relate unless you have been there yourself.

Well I have in my own way, though its nothing I'm going to share right now.
It vaguely compares to how she must feel in all this at best. So it had changed from my perspective of physical health to her heart.

My options now were centered around showing her that she is not lacking in any way, and she still is everything I'll ever need or want.


Later that night she fell asleep in my arms as we lay on the couch. She was so cute snuggled into me. And as we lay there for hours I felt no unrest as there
would be no where else I would rather find myself.

Sadly in the latter of the night she was having a night sweat, And I could not wake her for anything. Not my kisses to her lips nor my hands holding her to me.

Her forehead was drenched in cold sweat and she was out cold. It deeply worried me.

After I had to literally shake and yell a bit to wake her. We went back to sleep upstairs. She enjoyed the fact that she fell asleep in my arms and calmly went right back to dreamland tightly wrapped around me.


P.S

Sorry for writing so poetically I have been writing this way lately as a form of relaxation.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I have a really bad tendency to push situations. I've been working on it, but I still have my moments of throwing a bit of a temper tantrum.

 

[Homburg]

Sorry for writing so poetically I have been writing this way lately as a form of relaxation.

You're a good guy, and you have nothing to apologise for here.

 

[BiBunny]

I know I've posted about this before... I can't be in a relationship where I'm treated too nicely all the time. It's just not my thing, and is a surefire way to make me miserable.

In the past few weeks Master has been, understandably, treating me with kid gloves.

There are four days left of my two weeks with no sex. Well yesterday my little nympho bitch really reared her ugly head. I asked Master nicely several times if we could have sex, and he told me no. That there were four more days, and he didn't want to go against the doctors orders.

As the day went on I got more pouty and more whiny. I raged about how I was too fucking young to be sick, how life was unfair..yada, yada.

Eventually I started bugging Master again. He then gives me a warning about the possibility of me getting what I'm asking for and not liking it.

I was hurt and felt unloved. The nympho part of me is irrational. She can get tons of cuddles, and love, and sweet words, but if she's not being emotionally or physically hurt, or fucked....I feel unloved, unwanted, dirty, unworthy..

So as much as I hate to admit this I had a bit of a temper tantrum. A very childish one.

So Master gets angry. Flips me over on my back and fucks me. And OMG it was miserable, the flaming torch all over again. I now understand the two week rule much better.

So after he's done. He smirks at me and asks me how I feel. I try to play it off and say fine. He says don't lie to me slave. So I admit it hurts....a lot. He says now you see why I enforce the rules I do. It's what's best for you, and I bet next time you'll listen. The temper tantrums aren't going to work with me, I don't care if you are sick.

And then and there..bliss. Not because in a round about way, I got what I wanted. Because that stopped the second he entered me and it felt like I was on fire. But, because the kids gloves had finally come off. He wasn't afraid to be a little rough with me, or enforce his point of view. And boy, how I've missed that these past few weeks.

I think aside from the fact that my kitty hurts yesterday was a very good day for us. He realized that even though I'm sick, I don't need to be babied. If he always lets me have my way, sick or not, eventually I would start to lose respect for him. It's just what I need. He too would become complacent I think.

No worries for the safety concerns. He was very careful and took proper precautions to prevent infection or injury. I'm a little sore, but perfectly fine.

Hot, hot, hot.

I got raped today, too. And I'm in for more tonight! Yay!

 

[minx1]

That day I could see it in her eyes, and the way she was acting. The way it was echoing around in her head that she was less, due to her situation.
Something she had hinted on earlier as this progresses.


I do not think any one can really relate unless you have been there yourself.

I can't imagine living the reality of these thoughts.

I have them, but so far they are based on nothing more than fear. Just thoughts that creep into my head now and again.

And nh you are still the woman you were before. You are still everything that defines you; beautiful, smart, funny, strong, mother, slave, sexual, loving....
Its just now you get a whole more to add to the list...like resilient and courageous (though I have a feeling these are no strangers to you either). Maybe you could throw some not so good ones into the mix too *laugh*. Who wouldn't after something like this

You're not less nh, you are actually more.

And then and there..bliss. Not because in a round about way, I got what I wanted. Because that stopped the second he entered me and it felt like I was on fire. But, because the kids gloves had finally come off. He wasn't afraid to be a little rough with me, or enforce his point of view. And boy, how I've missed that these past few weeks.

I think aside from the fact that my kitty hurts yesterday was a very good day for us. He realized that even though I'm sick, I don't need to be babied. If he always lets me have my way, sick or not, eventually I would start to lose respect for him. It's just what I need. He too would become complacent I think.

I so get this. Maybe for slightly different reasons but it still applies I think.
when things in my life have been crap I have needed the dynamic more than ever I think. It calms me. I need to be dealt with firmly and put in my place if I act up. I need the normality. It makes me feel protected and gives me focus. Sometimes when things have been bad I have needed to be told ''this is happening and this is how it will be dealt with and this is what I expect from you''. Its a release for me.

I know I can't apply it to your situation as I haven't been in it, but at very difficult personal times (that I haven't posted about here), the dyamic and control have been fundamental to me getting through.

Bliss, as you said.

I also get the nympho bit too. My sex drive isn't related to how I feel physically...even when i feel like crap, I get horny as hell. Its much more affected by emotions *nods* when I am happy...I want sex. When I'm upset or angry...I want sex *laugh*

But I have to admit I have done the whole childish paddy thing and I am ashamed to say that on occassion its been to prove a point...''But I'm fine!'' *whines* and guess what...I proved diddly!

and sorry nh, I didn't realise I hadn't posted here...must have done it on my thread. I don'thave mine done til wednesday. They only have one clinic here on a wednesday morning and its not even in my town. To be honest its friggin ridiculous....one clinic, operating one morning a week and serving god know how many woman

I'm ok at the moment. Will let you know how it goes. Thanks to you and Puman for thinking of me though

 

[nh23]

I can't imagine living the reality of these thoughts.

I have them, but so far they are based on nothing more than fear. Just thoughts that creep into my head now and again.

And nh you are still the woman you were before. You are still everything that defines you; beautiful, smart, funny, strong, mother, slave, sexual, loving....
Its just now you get a whole more to add to the list...like resilient and courageous (though I have a feeling these are no strangers to you either). Maybe you could throw some not so good ones into the mix too *laugh*. Who wouldn't after something like this

You're not less nh, you are actually more.



I so get this. Maybe for slightly different reasons but it still applies I think.
when things in my life have been crap I have needed the dynamic more than ever I think. It calms me. I need to be dealt with firmly and put in my place if I act up. I need the normality. It makes me feel protected and gives me focus. Sometimes when things have been bad I have needed to be told ''this is happening and this is how it will be dealt with and this is what I expect from you''. Its a release for me.

I know I can't apply it to your situation as I haven't been in it, but at very difficult personal times (that I haven't posted about here), the dyamic and control have been fundamental to me getting through.

Bliss, as you said.

I also get the nympho bit too. My sex drive isn't related to how I feel physically...even when i feel like crap, I get horny as hell. Its much more affected by emotions *nods* when I am happy...I want sex. When I'm upset or angry...I want sex *laugh*

But I have to admit I have done the whole childish paddy thing and I am ashamed to say that on occassion its been to prove a point...''But I'm fine!'' *whines* and guess what...I proved diddly!

and sorry nh, I didn't realise I hadn't posted here...must have done it on my thread. I don'thave mine done til wednesday. They only have one clinic here on a wednesday morning and its not even in my town. To be honest its friggin ridiculous....one clinic, operating one morning a week and serving god know how many woman

I'm ok at the moment. Will let you know how it goes. Thanks to you and Puman for thinking of me though

You always make me feel better minx! I think you said what I was trying to say and couldn't get out right!

Good luck with your tests. My thoughts will be with you.

 

[Cattypuss]

You're not less nh, you are actually more.

Hear, hear.

 

[nh23]

Hear, hear.

 

[nh23]

From Repo- I didn't know I love you so much.

Shilo:
Dad be still,
There is nothing here to take,
It can wait.

Nathan:
Shi, your mother's calling me.

Shilo:
Sometimes I wanted to cry
When the people on TV were not quite the way we were
Somehow I guess I just knew.
But I didn't know I'd love you so much
I didn't know I'd love you so much
I didn't know I'd love you so much
But I do.

Nathan:
Sometimes I'd stay up all night
Wishing to God that I was the one who died.
Sometimes it's not enough time.
But I didn't know I'd love you so much
I didn't know I'd love you so much
I didn't know I'd love you so much
But I do.

Shilo:
Didn't know I'd love you so much.

Nathan:
Didn't know I'd love you so much.

Both:
Didn't know I'd love you so much
But I do.

Nathan:
Shilo, go.

Shilo:
Dad, I will not leave you here
You will live.

Nathan:
But you've already saved me, dear.
Go and change the world for me.

Both:
We will always have each other
In our time of need
(Shilo) Daddy, you're the world to me.
(Nathan) Shilo, you're the world to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuay79IPWMM

 

[nh23]

My body is betraying me!! I need some advice here. Sir W! Homburg! Netz! Somebody!

Our life has been lacking in the S&M department in the last few weeks because of Dr's appts etc. So the night before last Master said that I could have the cane. We have at least a week before my next appt, so we figured plenty of time for bruises to fade.

He used a medium weight cane, the one we use the majority of the time. He went with the same intensity as usual. I bruise easily, I'm sure Sir W remembers, I missed a caning from him because of my damn skin Anyway it's normal for me to get dark bruises at once.

However this time I have huge raised, blood filled hematoma's. I have several and one of them has broken open and bled. Now I've been caned to blood before but it was with a thin cane that broke the skin. The thicker one has never broken the skin.

So help! WTF is going on? I don't want to have to stop caning too.

 

[Homburg]

Well, I have no direct experience with a reaction like this. My first comment would be to look to the meds you're taking right now. You had, from what I recall, a change in meds post-biopsy, right? They are probably causing a reaction. Your skin may not be able to deal with the sort of fine line impacts produced by canes. You may have to go for something with less penetration and broader surface area.

 

[ecstaticsub]

In times of stress your body needs extra Vitamin C to keep up the strength of blood vessels. Perhaps your diet has suffered the last few weeks along with the increased stress?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

My body is betraying me!! I need some advice here. Sir W! Homburg! Netz! Somebody!

Our life has been lacking in the S&M department in the last few weeks because of Dr's appts etc. So the night before last Master said that I could have the cane. We have at least a week before my next appt, so we figured plenty of time for bruises to fade.

He used a medium weight cane, the one we use the majority of the time. He went with the same intensity as usual. I bruise easily, I'm sure Sir W remembers, I missed a caning from him because of my damn skin Anyway it's normal for me to get dark bruises at once.

However this time I have huge raised, blood filled hematoma's. I have several and one of them has broken open and bled. Now I've been caned to blood before but it was with a thin cane that broke the skin. The thicker one has never broken the skin.

So help! WTF is going on? I don't want to have to stop caning too.

I don't know what meds you;re on but it's likely that something you've recently started taking is thinning your blood as a side effect. You should ask for an INR (International Normalized Ratio) blood test from your doc as it will confirm whether your blood is clotting as it should be. It could be a mild side effect that you have to live with for now or it could be a more severe problem that requires some adjustment in your treatment.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

My body is betraying me!! I need some advice here. Sir W! Homburg! Netz! Somebody!

Our life has been lacking in the S&M department in the last few weeks because of Dr's appts etc. So the night before last Master said that I could have the cane. We have at least a week before my next appt, so we figured plenty of time for bruises to fade.

He used a medium weight cane, the one we use the majority of the time. He went with the same intensity as usual. I bruise easily, I'm sure Sir W remembers, I missed a caning from him because of my damn skin Anyway it's normal for me to get dark bruises at once.

However this time I have huge raised, blood filled hematoma's. I have several and one of them has broken open and bled. Now I've been caned to blood before but it was with a thin cane that broke the skin. The thicker one has never broken the skin.

So help! WTF is going on? I don't want to have to stop caning too.

Well, I have no direct experience with a reaction like this. My first comment would be to look to the meds you're taking right now. You had, from what I recall, a change in meds post-biopsy, right? They are probably causing a reaction. Your skin may not be able to deal with the sort of fine line impacts produced by canes. You may have to go for something with less penetration and broader surface area.

In times of stress your body needs extra Vitamin C to keep up the strength of blood vessels. Perhaps your diet has suffered the last few weeks along with the increased stress?

I don't know what meds you;re on but it's likely that something you've recently started taking is thinning your blood as a side effect. You should ask for an INR (International Normalized Ratio) blood test from your doc as it will confirm whether your blood is clotting as it should be. It could be a mild side effect that you have to live with for now or it could be a more severe problem that requires some adjustment in your treatment.

Along with the comments by H, ES and VDarkness, this information:

The cervical cancer side effects caused by biological therapies vary with the type of treatment the patient receives. These treatments may cause flu-like symptoms such as chills, fever, muscle aches, weakness, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Sometimes patients get a rash, and they may bleed or bruise easily. These problems can be severe, but they gradually go away after the treatment stops.​

from Cancer Compass, which appears to be a fairly good source for information on a lot of aspects.

I'm not sure what therapies your doctor may have initiated following (or even preceding) your biopsy, but this is the most pertinent information I was able to find by doing a little bit of research.

 

[nh23]

Well, I have no direct experience with a reaction like this. My first comment would be to look to the meds you're taking right now. You had, from what I recall, a change in meds post-biopsy, right? They are probably causing a reaction. Your skin may not be able to deal with the sort of fine line impacts produced by canes. You may have to go for something with less penetration and broader surface area.

I don't know what meds you;re on but it's likely that something you've recently started taking is thinning your blood as a side effect. You should ask for an INR (International Normalized Ratio) blood test from your doc as it will confirm whether your blood is clotting as it should be. It could be a mild side effect that you have to live with for now or it could be a more severe problem that requires some adjustment in your treatment.

Along with the comments by H, ES and VDarkness, this information:

The cervical cancer side effects caused by biological therapies vary with the type of treatment the patient receives. These treatments may cause flu-like symptoms such as chills, fever, muscle aches, weakness, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Sometimes patients get a rash, and they may bleed or bruise easily. These problems can be severe, but they gradually go away after the treatment stops.​

from Cancer Compass, which appears to be a fairly good source for information on a lot of aspects.

I'm not sure what therapies your doctor may have initiated following (or even preceding) your biopsy, but this is the most pertinent information I was able to find by doing a little bit of research.

My meds were the first thing I checked. None of them should cause thinning of the blood or bruising. That's a big should though as I react to things oddly sometimes. However I just thought of something, I'm going to run by ES...

 

[nh23]

In times of stress your body needs extra Vitamin C to keep up the strength of blood vessels. Perhaps your diet has suffered the last few weeks along with the increased stress?

Yes, my diet hasn't been what it should be lately. Some of the meds cause anorexia, and when I do want to eat it's not the healthiest.

I just thought of something though. I've had chronic headaches forever. My breasts tend to pull my neck out of place. Here in the last few weeks though they have been really bad. The stress I'm sure, and headaches are a side effect of a few of my meds. My blood pressure has been slightly high too, and I know that can cause me to bruise easier, but it's not too terribly high.

Anyway, LOL I've been taking massive amount of ibuprofen for the headaches. I know better than to take aspirin, but can ibuprofen have thinning effects on the blood also? I know normally it doesn't but maybe since I've been taking so much. I normally avoid taking meds for the headaches because I was diagnosed with stomach ulcers years ago, but lately the headaches have been horrible, and the ibuprofen gives me a few hours of peace.

 

[nh23]

OH! Good news. I went to the college today and I have a meeting set up for next Monday to schedule my classes!!! I was going to start major classes winter quarter, however with recent medical events I think I"m just going to take a few classes a quarter until Spring of next year, then take my major classes. I'll be back in school by the second week of September!!!!!

 

[BiBunny]

OH! Good news. I went to the college today and I have a meeting set up for next Monday to schedule my classes!!! I was going to start major classes winter quarter, however with recent medical events I think I"m just going to take a few classes a quarter until Spring of next year, then take my major classes. I'll be back in school by the second week of September!!!!!

Yay! That's awesome news!

Also, I'm home now, but my Yahoo still isn't working, LOL. Hit me up on the AIM name I PM-ed ya if you wanna waste some time chatting.

That sounded really creepy and stalkerish, didn't it?

 

[ecstaticsub]

Yes, my diet hasn't been what it should be lately. Some of the meds cause anorexia, and when I do want to eat it's not the healthiest.

I just thought of something though. I've had chronic headaches forever. My breasts tend to pull my neck out of place. Here in the last few weeks though they have been really bad. The stress I'm sure, and headaches are a side effect of a few of my meds. My blood pressure has been slightly high too, and I know that can cause me to bruise easier, but it's not too terribly high.

Anyway, LOL I've been taking massive amount of ibuprofen for the headaches. I know better than to take aspirin, but can ibuprofen have thinning effects on the blood also? I know normally it doesn't but maybe since I've been taking so much. I normally avoid taking meds for the headaches because I was diagnosed with stomach ulcers years ago, but lately the headaches have been horrible, and the ibuprofen gives me a few hours of peace.

Yes, ibuprofen does have thinning effects on blood. How much is massive amounts?

 

[yourmissl]

Hi nh,

Stick to Tylenol if you can, for a while... the other OTC's will certainly affect clotting. Also, sweetie, look for foods rich in Vitamin K. I'm not sure if Vitamin K is available by itself in health stores, but of course its always better to get the nutrients directly from fresh foods. Regardless, K is used on people/animals if they have ingested rat poison, which works by causing internal bleeding.

cheers,
linds.

 

[nh23]

Yes, ibuprofen does have thinning effects on blood. How much is massive amounts?

I just counted and I'm embarrassed to tell you. I've taken 75 200mg Ibuprofen in the last two and a half weeks.

 

[nh23]

Hi nh,

Stick to Tylenol if you can, for a while... the other OTC's will certainly affect clotting. Also, sweetie, look for foods rich in Vitamin K. I'm not sure if Vitamin K is available by itself in health stores, but of course its always better to get the nutrients directly from fresh foods. Regardless, K is used on people/animals if they have ingested rat poison, which works by causing internal bleeding.

cheers,
linds.

I'm probably going to have to switch to Tylenol, much as I hate too. They just don't kick the headaches. I'm taking a multi vitamin recommended by my phar. to help increase my immune system. I'll have to look and see if it has K in it.

Thank you!