Offend-O-Metering: U.K. vs. States

[Weird Harold]

Even after living here for years, I still forget to say 'trousers' and refer to them as 'pants', to the great amusement of me mates....

I served in six foreign countries and always considered the 3+ years served in England to be the worst language barrier.

At least in the other countries I knew when I didn't understand what was said. In England something that made sense in my native American often meant something entirely different from what I thought.

I spent most of one day trying to find a "bathrobe" for my daughter -- most of the time spent discovering that what I wanted was either a "housecoat" or "dressing gown."

The classic idiom that all GIs are warned about is a girl asking them to "Knock me up in the morning" although there are many others they should be specifically warned about.

 

[Guest]

This is true:

My best friend (married to the Welsh Silk that met Prince Philip above) worked as a temp-secretary in London for a year. At her first job her boss came in and asked for a rubber. She was stunned speechless. Then he added, "Oh, you're new; just check the left top drawer, love."

She had a good laugh but it was iffy for a few minutes.

U.S. people: a rubber in England is an eraser.

 

[redrider4u]

Re: I'll have one

Walking the boards always makes me thirsty. My treat, as I started this thread. I'm presuming we're using virtual cash.

Now where is that Critic?

P

(S).....can we have our brews on this side of the pond? Prefer cold beer here.....
"Cheers, Cali lady........"

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: I'll have one

(S).....can we have our brews on this side of the pond? Prefer cold beer here.....
"Cheers, so cali lady........"

ARRRGGGHH! Did you say that on purpose? I live in San Francisco (only a decade ago called Baghdad by the Bay; really).

Well, actually I prefer Tangueray and Schwepps, but cold Mexican beer is fine.

Cheers!

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: Re: I'll have one

ARRRGGGHH! Did you say that on purpose? I live in San Francisco (only a decade ago called Baghdad by the Bay; really).

Well, actually I prefer Tangueray and Schwepps, but cold Mexican beer is fine.

Cheers!

XX my fav!

 

[redrider4u]

Re: Re: Re: I'll have one

ARRRGGGHH! Did you say that on purpose? I live in San Francisco (only a decade ago called Baghdad by the Bay; really).

Well, actually I prefer Tangueray and Schwepps, but cold Mexican beer is fine.

Cheers!

LOL.......after I posted, I belatedly realized you mentioned SF, so I edited out the "so".........but ya beat me to the posting!

Rummaging in the pantry here.......oh, no, only Gilbey's here. Don't go, (grabbing car keys and wallet).......off to the booze store for Tanqueray and Schwepps.........

 

[Guest]

ARRRGGGHH! x 2

Don't go, (grabbing car keys and wallet).......off to the booze store for Tanqueray and Schwepps.........

Now you've left me here alone with DVS!



edited to see if my new sig works; usually don't show it.

 

[DVS]

Re: ARRRGGGHH! x 2

Now you've left me here alone with DVS!



edited to see if my new sig works; usually don't show it.

Either you don't like me, or you don't like XX beer. Come on, 'fess up! Which is it?
But, I have some, nice and cold in the frig. Is it all mine, then?

 

[redrider4u]

Re: ARRRGGGHH! x 2

Now you've left me here alone with DVS!



edited to see if my new sig works; usually don't show it.

Pant, pant........."I'm back, "..........mixing up an inspiring drink for purr......handing it to her, taking mine, gazing into her deep (insert color) eyes, "Too us, lady of the bay.........."

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: ARRRGGGHH! x 2

"Too us, lady of the bay.........."

That's too much two for me.

Too Xs, Too Os, Too much. Outahere.

 

[DVS]

Re: ARRRGGGHH! x 2

edited to see if my new sig works; usually don't show it.

It don't.

 

[Guest]

Smiling now

Pant, pant........."I'm back, "..........mixing up an inspiring drink for purr......handing it to her, taking mine, gazing into her deep (insert color) eyes, "Too us, lady of the bay.........."

They're dark brown, guess you can't tell in the AV.

Tranquilo, hombre, tranquilo... We're in public. Thanks for all the fine attention though.

DVS: sorry, I used you badly only to make a point to Red. Come back soon.

Both of you: I have to be up front and say Pirate Pops has the key to my heart (and...) But when he's not about I can play well with others.

Purring Perdita (one for each)

 

[redrider4u]

Re: Smiling now

They're dark brown, guess you can't tell in the AV.

Tranquilo, hombre, tranquilo... We're in public. Thanks for all the fine attention though.

DVS: sorry, I used you badly only to make a point to Red. Come back soon.

Both of you: I have to be up front and say Pirate Pops has the key to my heart (and...) But when he's not about I can play well with others.

Purring Perdita (one for each)

(S)......guess Pirate Pops is the lucky gentleman at this time.....
Sidling up to Purrrrrr........."Hmmmmmm, I see your glass is no longer half full," taking her glass, striding over to the bar, handing it to Maurice; "Another for the lady of the bay, nee from Motown..."

 

[Guest]

You're making me red now.

I know this is my thread, but it is on the Author's Hangout. Well, I guess we're hanging out. Don't forget the extra lime.

Purr

 

[redrider4u]

Re: You're making me red now.

I know this is my thread, but it is on the Author's Hangout. Well, I guess we're hanging out. Don't forget the extra lime.

Purr

Not to worry, Maurice knows all about his clients. As for the authors hangout, why, just moments ago we (Maurice and I) were discussing the pros and cons of Japanese characters in BDSM. One song that came to mind........."Baby, we got the ups and downs," by Otis Elevator.

 

[Guest]

You!

Are showing me a great time. I don't think it's the gin either. And I recall a song, "Miss Otis regrets..."

 

[redrider4u]

A purrfect time........

Is only achieved by rhyme
not just really sublime

But straight to the being
where our heart may sing

Not talkin' bout a revolution
just a lovin' solution

so beware ladies of Lit
lest you throw a fit

red is now in town
and not just a clown

lock the doors and throw the latch
cause your daughters I might snatch

But, really, I'm just a cool guy
reaching for the purrfect sky.

 

[Guest]

Don't give me no state of confusion

I want to know just what sky you're under. Give me a 2-letter official abbreviation.

Love the song, hon. Wanna dance? But first, answer the above.

Petulant Purrditta

 

[redrider4u]

Re: Don't give me no state of confusion

I want to know just what sky you're under. Give me a 2-letter official abbreviation.

Love the song, hon. Wanna dance? But first, answer the above.

Petulant Purrditta

PA is the state of living
but the heart is giving

I mean, really, all this rhyme
a use of special tyme

If you live in the north east
then rain this year is your feast

So just enjoy our times
and raunchy rhymes

Check your mail.........
and lessen your travail

So just dancing here on the puter
wondering which gal might be cuter

realizing she is not the suspect
she is the one purrfect

 

[gauchecritic]

Oh no I can't believe it, Yankees moaning about how warm English beer is. You don't even know what beer is. You drink lager! And the only way to drink lager is to have it cold enough to numb the taste buds.

Mine's a pint of John's Purr.

Gauche

Edited to disinclude Perdita from the Yankee slur. Couldn't bring myself to use spic cos it would be taken the wrong way

 

[Guest]

Ready to serve, Monsieur Critique. Glad you're here. Tell me something esoteric. Purr

I like cold Mexican or Chinese beer, just saying.

 

[Guest]

p.s. to Gauche

I presumed you weren't including me as a Yank. Spic would insult me because I am not Spanish (those conquistadores). The term for me would be wetback but then I was born here, did not cross a river border illegally. Really stupid Yanks call anyone south of the border Spic though, whether Guatemalan, Uruguayan, Peruvian, etc.

Just call me Purr, love, or Motown Maid, or Senorita.

 

[redrider4u]

Re: p.s. to Gauche

I presumed you weren't including me as a Yank. Spic would insult me because I am not Spanish (those conquistadores). The term for me would be wetback but then I was born here, did not cross a river border illegally. Really stupid Yanks call anyone south of the border Spic though, whether Guatemalan, Uruguayan, Peruvian, etc.

Just call me Purr, love, or Motown Maid, or Senorita.

I am not a Yank. I am from the south. Do not call me a rebel. I do not live the causes almost 140 yrs ago. If ya have to call me something....try American, or southerner.

(S).......with ya purr.

 

[gauchecritic]

To Red, We're cool (I hope)

Purr,

Esoteric. French men who learn English in Liverpool, Lithuanians who learn English in Yorkshire (my dad) have fantastic mixed accents.

Gauche

P.S No one from Lithuania speaks like Andy Kaufman in Taxi except shrill voiced farmers wives. To a man they have deep reverberating voices.

 

[Guest]

Colorado

Can I call you that? It means red in Spanish.

Perdita means 'little lost girl' but I'm not; she's a favorite Sh're character.

You and Gauche sit on either side of me. Purr