Offend-O-Metering: U.K. vs. States

[Guest]

LOL, DVS

thanks for that too. Guess we'd better stop talking/posting. Umm, I'm sleep now.

 

[DVS]

Re: Southern Canadian opera lovers

Yes, opera aficianados don't like slurs either. But I don't mind being called a valkyrie.

what team do they play with?

 

[DVS]

Re: LOL, DVS

thanks for that too. Guess we'd better stop talking/posting. Umm, I'm sleep now.

Sleep? Shit, it's time to get up! Sunshine! Time to go find me a sheep, I guess.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Southern Canadian opera lovers

what team do they play with?

The Dead of Valhalla (I think it's in California).

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Alberich and Mime as shortstops (is that the term?), Woglinde and her lot as cheerleaders,... Go to sleep, P.

 

[Quasimodem]

Free advice: don't call someone from the South a Yankee.

And don't call me a Yank either.

Perdita la Mexicana

As I said, they are all on an equal par. Each mistaken labelling pisses the labelled one off!

what team do they play with?

Die Gotten Rammed In Dung

 

[gauchecritic]

Re: Re: 2

Well, I'm not a racist but...
If we threw out all the Asians, there'd be more jobs for the proper Englishmen.
We should throw out all the muslims. They're all fucking terrorists anyway.
If we chucked out all the Pakis, then there'd be less crime.

Sometimes I do despair of this country.

The Earl

Well I'm Yorkshire (unlike Patric who is from Yorkshire and I doubt that there are any more fiercely (county) chauvinist people in England. Where TheEarl despairs I am often gladdened and gratified by the people where I live, with regard to racism.

In my local, the 'comedian' for want of a better term who was the 'turn' told a racist story which turned out to be simply a slur. I smiled when not a single member of the audience (a mix of Scots, Irish and Southern Yorkshire folk) fell deathly quiet at the punchline. The turn panicked and went into a song to cover his embarrassment.

An easy way to outrage lot's of 'men' in the UK (and the US too I suppose) is to imply that they're 'on the other bus'.

Gauche

 

[Guest]

Go Valhalla!

Alberich and Mime as shortstops (is that the term?), Woglinde and her lot as cheerleaders,... Go to sleep, P.

Good one on shortstops, right term too. So who do the valks play against? I suppose Wotan and Fricka would be the opposite umpires. Loge the announcer. Fafner the mascot, or Brunnhilde's horse, can't think of his name the moment. Siegfried definitely the rookie though he strikes out first. Rhinemaidens as cheerleaders, the valks are the team. Hunding will be the bookie. Who am I leaving out? Oh, of course the Niebelungs will be the food jockeys running about with sauerkraut hotdogs and beer to sell. Freia will sing the national anthem, but whose?

That was fun, Rainbow, thanks.

I had a good nap and the day is still early. Perdita

 

[Guest]

bus riding

An easy way to outrage lot's of 'men' in the UK (and the US too I suppose) is to imply that they're 'on the other bus'.

I hadn't heard that expression, Gauche. Then there are those *sub*way riders, eh? And the double-deckers, ooh.

Purr

 

[patrick1]

I've just been out on a long walk among Yorkshire sheep. We exchanged bleats and baas and they assured me they weren't English, or British, but Yorkshire. That's what they're like round here.

I think it's because my family was part-irish (though both my parents were born in England) that makes me say I'm 'British'. To my father, although he was born in England, the 'english' were some sort of enemy. It's a weird thing, looking back; but it's a help too in understanding how come some people seem english to me but avow that they aren't.

Hm, what kind of british cuisine shall I have tonight? Curry, noodles or quiche?



patrick

 

[Guest]

an Irish diet

My first husband was Cockney (born within the sound of those bells); his father Irish, mother English. When very young his dad stole him away to Ireland for several years. He hated the Irish and blamed the country for stunting his growth (he was about 5-1/2 feet).

His mother moved him and his sister to Detroit when he was 14 but he still spoke with 'deez' and 'doze' when I met him at 24 (I was 18). She worked for the Ford Motor Co. and he rec'd a Ford scholarship to university. He was loyal to three things: England, his school, and Ford's.

 

[TheEarl]

Re: DVS:

So what offend the sheep in your neck of the woods?

Welshmen?

I'll just get my coat.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Welshmen

Welshmen?

I'll just get my coat.

You need to explain for us over here. Pear

 

[oggbashan]

Welsh Mountain Sheep and Wellington Boots keep Welshmen satisfied.

Og

 

[TheEarl]

Wales is famous for having lots of sheep and 'allegedly' using them for entertainment purposes. hence the joke about the ultimate punishment being dressed up in a sheep costume and tied to a lamppost in Wales with a sign reading 'Entertainment centre' hanging around your neck.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

True story

I had a Welsh friend who moved to the states after marrying my best friend. He worked in San Francisco as a corporate attorney. I can't recall the year, c. 1980, when Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip came for a visit. The British embassy invited a select group of their expats for a royal social gathering. My girlfriend didn't go as she hated any posh bulls*** as she called it, but her husband had to go to represent his firm.

As the U.K. people know an equivalent of passing the bar is called "taking silk", though I do not know the derivation.

My friend whose last name is Silk was introduced to the Queen, then to her consort. Upon the introduction, the prince said,

"I presume your wife takes silk every night."

 

[oggbashan]

Re: True story

As the U.K. people know an equivalent of passing the bar is called "taking silk", though I do not know the derivation.

It comes from the silk bag that they carry their wigs in.

Og

 

[MathGirl]

From a worm's bottom comes........

Dear Og,
Americans have an experession, "farting through silk" meaning that one has lots of money.

Just thought I'd lower the level a bit.
MG

 

[Guest]

sow's ears and lucre

MG: I've never heard this expression, but thanks. You cannot lower the level of this thread, it's all about offense metering.

regards, Perd

 

[MathGirl]

Silken flatulence

MG: I've never heard this expression

Dear Perdita,
Well, "farting through silk" is not part of the Constitution or engraved on our coinage, but it's well known to some Americans. Well, maybe only a few. Perhaps just ...... Oh, okay, okay, I just made it up and I'm the only one who ever heard of it.
MG

 

[Guest]

Re: Silken flatulence

st ...... Oh, okay, okay, I just made it up and I'm the only one who ever heard of it.

No problemo, silky. I'll start using it today. Just watch, you'll be hearing it on NPR soon.

Relax, Perdita

 

[cahab]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ogg's respose:

UK ones do not register smoking in public.

Uh, yeah, they do. Mine does, anyway. There's a difference between not being offended and not saying anything. Not very british to complain casually, still.

Carry-On films and the Benny Hill Show are still funny and not offensive.

Carry-on films, maybe you could just get away with, but only the US has found Benny Hill funny for the last fifteen years, thank God. Not offensive, just crap. And what's c**p, by the way?

There are actors and actresses, and jokes about what the actress said to the Bishop.

Hunh? And the latter only ironically.

To conclude, the UK version barely registers many things that would send the US version off the scale.


That's true enough. What's the deal with kids and coffee in the US? And underage sex? Dawsons sodding Creek still pussying around into their thirties, agonising about it. Just shag and get over yourself, man. Jeez.

Cahab

(UK, OK?)

--------------------------------------------
Read my stories, dammit.

 

[Guest]

Cahab:

only the US has found Benny Hill funny for the last fifteen years, thank God. Not offensive, just crap.

Ogg: To conclude, the UK version barely registers many things that would send the US version off the scale.

That's true enough. What's the deal with kids and coffee in the US? And underage sex? Dawsons sodding Creek still pussying around into their thirties, agonising about it. Just shag and get over yourself, man. Jeez.

Hey, Cahab. I'm reading your story; will PM you.

I never got B. Hill or Are You Being Served. Love AbFab and Black Adder.

You're right about kids, coffee and underage sex. We might not be that way if you hadn't driven the old Puritans out.

ta, Perdita (non-Puritan)

 

[cahab]

Could this be something for the offend-o-meter? How easily are Americans or Britons offended by implied criticism of them?!!

In my perception American public taste is more prudish.

I think, seriously for a moment, the main undisputable difference between the US and the UK (apart from one has an S and one has a K) is that there are a lot more of you. I believe at last count around five times more people than over here.

Therefore when it comes to making your voices heard that's five times more dumbasses to complain. Somebody once said that America is a land of extremes. It has the best and the worst of everything in the world. It stands to reason that if you're going after offending the least number of people you are bound to be more prudish if there are more of you.

I guess that's why you had to put free speech in the constitution.

 

[cahab]

It's true, I've watched British films with school kids (teens) in the audience and when someone calls for their puss the girls giggle and the boys start making fun of the characters (esp. if the pussy owner is an elderly man or lady).Perdita

Perdita! And you said you never got Are You Being Served?. If it wasn't for double entendres that show would have had no script at all.