Ownership

[dolf]

I really enjoy your posts dolf, and that is the most backwards thing I've seen you post. Just being real and up front about it because that's how I am. Nothing personal. I'm not being 'snarky' as some would say. I'm just being honest about it... and hate making people read between the lines. Not my style at all...

nope, i'm giving an extreme example to illustrate a point.

in the end we aren't really owned. it's merely a state of mind we allow ourselves to inhabit, as netz described.
the world we create in our minds is every bit as real to us as the mundane world.

to us.

but the bonds are only our choices. choice is freedom, even when that choice is to forsake freedom.

 

[dolf]

The toasters are for lesbian conversions, everyone knows that.

no toaster for me
mine always revert to cock.

 

[HB1965]

a silly and extreme example BUT it does illustrate the point.

the reality...
he's a stronger personality so i let him take the lead.
the role play...
i'll belong to him as property.

it's only real in your own mind.
does that make it of any less value though?

that last part to me is the point. To me it's what the two people choose together, and that may mean any number of things. For me it's about an exclusive relationship between two people with the Dom being someone who needs only me and respects my limits.

 

[h_i_s]

nope, i'm giving an extreme example to illustrate a point.

in the end we aren't really owned. it's merely a state of mind we allow ourselves to inhabit, as netz described.
the world we create in our minds is every bit as real to us as the mundane world.

to us.

but the bonds are only our choices. choice is freedom, even when that choice is to forsake freedom.

ahh.. ok. Phrased in that manner.. I agree.
Choice is always there. It isn't always quite black and white. Some take it. Some don't. Some just won't.
Yep.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I personally don't see ownership as having to be an exclusive relationship. I know some disagree, but I do believe in the "he owns me, I don't own him" way of thinking.

If he wanted to he could own another submissive, just as he owns more than one car. It may impact my relationship with him, but it doesn't change that he owns me. The fact that he can own someone else, but chooses not to gives me even greater joy in being owned.

But I can not go out an find another Dom to own me (not without fatally destroying our relationship) I can not tell him who he can sleep with and who he can't. I have no control over his life, in the way he has control over mine.

 

[h_i_s]

let me try again, please.

your way of life intrigues me. i'm owned. but i have hard limits;

death
maiming
or doing either of these things to anyone else

does your owner have rules set for you and otherwise you can do what you want within the confines of what he allows, or what you know he will allow (this is our dynamic, btw) or does he micromanage?

Lux? Who are you asking this?

 

[dolf]

ahh.. ok. Phrased in that manner.. I agree.
Choice is always there. It isn't always quite black and white. Some take it. Some don't. Some just won't.
Yep.

i almost said it's as real as a schizophrenic's voices, lol, but that might have been taken the wrong way.

 

[lux221]

Lux? Who are you asking this?

actually, i had two windows open and posted this to the wrong bulletin board.
i feel stupid right about now, wondering why it didn't show my post on the other board.

 

[h_i_s]

actually, i had two windows open and posted this to the wrong bulletin board.
i feel stupid right about now, wondering why it didn't show my post on the other board.

Ohhh ..
Well, shit happens. heh
Could have been worse, ya know.
You could have been involved in that other window with a real steamy cyber session.
heh heh

 

[Marquis]

I've never been able to reconcile "I am in love with you" and "I own you, you are my slave."

I can.

But in a deep, dark, secret place, I feel that my slave owns me as well.


*shhhhh*

 

[lux221]

Ohhh ..
Well, shit happens. heh
Could have been worse, ya know.
You could have been involved in that other window with a real steamy cyber session.
heh heh

my cheeks redden at the thought of it!

 

[HB1965]

I personally don't see ownership as having to be an exclusive relationship. I know some disagree, but I do believe in the "he owns me, I don't own him" way of thinking.

If he wanted to he could own another submissive, just as he owns more than one car. It may impact my relationship with him, but it doesn't change that he owns me. The fact that he can own someone else, but chooses not to gives me even greater joy in being owned.

But I can not go out an find another Dom to own me (not without fatally destroying our relationship) I can not tell him who he can sleep with and who he can't. I have no control over his life, in the way he has control over mine.

Again I can say that it's what the two people involved choose it to be, and when I say exclusive I mean that in the emotional sense. There may be others involved sexually.

 

[EmpressFi]

Master and I are in a D/s not a M/s relationship, yet I feel he owns me and I have blossomed in that ownership. I'm not the same person I was last year when he asked me if I'd be his pet and I said yes (thank god). But I dont see myself as his "slave". I am his "pet", I am his submissive.' I am.. HiS.. I dont need a label after that. Just.. I am His

 

[SubKekiLee]

Master and I are in a D/s not a M/s relationship, yet I feel he owns me and I have blossomed in that ownership. I'm not the same person I was last year when he asked me if I'd be his pet and I said yes (thank god). But I dont see myself as his "slave". I am his "pet", I am his submissive.' I am.. HiS.. I dont need a label after that. Just.. I am His

Exactly Fi.... YOUR his.. l) Heart and soul.. .

 

[Homburg]

I can.

But in a deep, dark, secret place, I feel that my slave owns me as well.


*shhhhh*

Glad to see someone say this.

 

[h_i_s]

I am his. Always have been .. always will be.

Master and I are in a D/s not a M/s relationship, yet I feel he owns me and I have blossomed in that ownership. I'm not the same person I was last year when he asked me if I'd be his pet and I said yes (thank god). But I dont see myself as his "slave". I am his "pet", I am his submissive.' I am.. HiS.. I dont need a label after that. Just.. I am His

About two years ago, I had come to a similar fork in the road. I was suddenly aware of not wanting to have to put a name on it. No matter which I chose to label myself as, someone would misinterpret and minimalize who and what I was, or another would do the opposite by adding stuff into the mix which made me out to be a lot of things that I am not.

I am many things to IYM. I am the slave, the wife, the friend, the lover, the sometimes pain slut to some degree, the little girl, the beautiful one, the pca, the nurse, the not equal but obviously 'on a different level than He' SO, the school girl, the model, the exotic and erotic ready and willing whenever He so desires nhympho, the insatiable little cock sucker, the cook, the laundress, the snake charmer, the frog kissing princess, the super mom, the obedient good girl, the bad girl in leather who kisses maniquins, the turtle pasty toting silly babe, the MUA, cosmetologist, and barber....... oh and massuese manicurist and pedicurist too, the huosekeeper, the toe licking vixen, the water sports champion, the master master8tesse, the forever begging to be fisted bed soaking tsunami squirter, shower pick loving shampoo girl, the perfect little hostess, the gardener, the webdesigner, the photographer, the ..... the.......

I am SO many things.
To choose one label does my identity no justice.

This is why I use the name 'his' on other forums.
Just his.
Nothing more and nothing less.
I am just his.

collarme= thisishis
rlslavery.com= his
modeling portfolios online= his , and his aka his , and h_i_s
email here at Lit (did they disable this feature? I can't get my mail for months now....)= his
I even have a belt with a buckle that reads 'his' .

There are people that I have met face to face who don't even know my real first name.

They just know that i am his.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

...and HE is one lucky man.

A girl after my own heart Sin. Many today forget what it actually means to be subservient. It is about so much more than bending over.

Just saying

About two years ago, I had come to a similar fork in the road. I was suddenly aware of not wanting to have to put a name on it. No matter which I chose to label myself as, someone would misinterpret and minimalize who and what I was, or another would do the opposite by adding stuff into the mix which made me out to be a lot of things that I am not.

I am many things to IYM. I am the slave, the wife, the friend, the lover, the sometimes pain slut to some degree, the little girl, the beautiful one, the pca, the nurse, the not equal but obviously 'on a different level than He' SO, the school girl, the model, the exotic and erotic ready and willing whenever He so desires nhympho, the insatiable little cock sucker, the cook, the laundress, the snake charmer, the frog kissing princess, the super mom, the obedient good girl, the bad girl in leather who kisses maniquins, the turtle pasty toting silly babe, the MUA, cosmetologist, and barber....... oh and massuese manicurist and pedicurist too, the huosekeeper, the toe licking vixen, the water sports champion, the master master8tesse, the forever begging to be fisted bed soaking tsunami squirter, shower pick loving shampoo girl, the perfect little hostess, the gardener, the webdesigner, the photographer, the ..... the.......

I am SO many things.
To choose one label does my identity no justice.

This is why I use the name 'his' on other forums.
Just his.
Nothing more and nothing less.
I am just his.

collarme= thisishis
rlslavery.com= his
modeling portfolios online= his , and his aka his , and h_i_s
email here at Lit (did they disable this feature? I can't get my mail for months now....)= his
I even have a belt with a buckle that reads 'his' .

There are people that I have met face to face who don't even know my real first name.

They just know that i am his.

 

[Bandit58]

Wow....didn't realise this would generate such a discussion

Reading through the thread I've come to realise that being owned may not be a bad thing after all. I love sinn's last post:

I am SO many things.
To choose one label does my identity no justice.

I am many things to Sir as well. After the past week, with obstacles still to be overcome, I've realised that we own each other's hearts and love also. I am His, as He is mine. We may share others sexually, but we are emotionally as well as physically bonded.

 

[JMohegan]

I consider us reciprocally owned, in the "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine" sort of way.

After the past week, with obstacles still to be overcome, I've realised that we own each other's hearts and love also. I am His, as He is mine.

As far as I'm concerned, this is what it's all about, ladies.

Reciprocal "ownership". Ultimately, that's what works for me.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Guess I'm a little strange, and I admit I keep hearing the old Lesley Gore song 'You Don't Own Me' playing in my head when I read some of the thoughts in this thread and others on ownership. Why? Simply put because it explains perfectly why I don't feel that my loving him and he I equates to mutual ownership of each other, and yet explains just as perfectly why we see him as owning me and some of the ways it manifests in our relationship.

Add to that the old saying of 'If you love something, set it free...if it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was'...by loving him and yet not claiming ownership of him, telling him he has to stay etc., I know he is with me because he wants to be, not because he is bound to me by promises and emotional blackmail or my belief our love gives me automatic ownership, it gives us the opportunity to share our lives in a way which goes beyond the bedroom and kinky play and encompasses our lives as a whole.

Loving him and he loving me does not give me ownership of him and I would even go so far as to say love has nothing to do with the terms of his ownership of me as far as making it fact; my initial consent to submit to that ownership was what made it possible and continues to make it a reality whether he loves me or I him, or not. Love does not equate to ownership IMO, and is something I was very clear on in the days of my vanilla relationships...for me, assuming it does is where it becomes dangerous and can be the beginning of many an abusive relationship...consent OTOH can make all the difference.

Catalina

 

[serijules]

The thought of me "owning" Dawnie makes me laugh.

We are not equal, and I'm perfectly ok with that. It suits our relationship dynamic well. I can't go out and find another dominant or play partner or even a lover without her input, she is free to do as she wishes regarding partners. I'm secure enough in my place to know that any others she plays with or brings into her life are not going to affect OUR relationship.

I don't like some of the other people in her life all that much. Personality clashes and all. My place isn't affected by that, other than perhaps me being annoyed at times when I have to deal with said people.

We will never be lovers despite loving one another very much. It just doesn't work for us.

She is my owner, yes, but she is not MINE. I'm not comfortable with the concept of insisting someone belongs to me, just as others in this discussion are not comfortable with the opposite.

 

[Netzach]

The only person I *want* to own is H. And yeah, he has no input on things, I will do them and if I choose to adjust to make him more comfortable that is a "thank you Ma'am" kindness on my part.

I don't feel that way about M. I don't feel that my bull owns me, I would describe it as "I feel good pleasing this person." I think he'd be the first to feel icky with the idea of "owning" me, though we both like making me a trophy whatever once in a while.

I like "possessing" though, as a verb. In a squishy Romance novel kind of way. That can work for me OK with M or with him. Ownership doesn't accompany any Romantic involvement and every -- and in my case, ANY.

But I'm the kind of person likely to cheer if my loved ones tell me they're fucking someone else -- and wanna watch, this may have something to do with my discomfort with the concept in the traditional romantic sense.

 

[JMohegan]

Guess I'm a little strange, and I admit I keep hearing the old Lesley Gore song 'You Don't Own Me' playing in my head when I read some of the thoughts in this thread and others on ownership. Why? Simply put because it explains perfectly why I don't feel that my loving him and he I equates to mutual ownership of each other, and yet explains just as perfectly why we see him as owning me and some of the ways it manifests in our relationship.

Add to that the old saying of 'If you love something, set it free...if it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was'...by loving him and yet not claiming ownership of him, telling him he has to stay etc., I know he is with me because he wants to be, not because he is bound to me by promises and emotional blackmail or my belief our love gives me automatic ownership, it gives us the opportunity to share our lives in a way which goes beyond the bedroom and kinky play and encompasses our lives as a whole.

Loving him and he loving me does not give me ownership of him and I would even go so far as to say love has nothing to do with the terms of his ownership of me as far as making it fact; my initial consent to submit to that ownership was what made it possible and continues to make it a reality whether he loves me or I him, or not. Love does not equate to ownership IMO, and is something I was very clear on in the days of my vanilla relationships...for me, assuming it does is where it becomes dangerous and can be the beginning of many an abusive relationship...consent OTOH can make all the difference.

Catalina

The concept of belonging to or with someone is very different than the concept of overtly controlling another person's behavior.

Your focus on the latter is hardly "strange". In fact, your version of the "ownership" concept is the one I have heard most often in discussions with kink practitioners.

 

[FurryFury]

Ohhh ..
Well, shit happens. heh
Could have been worse, ya know.
You could have been involved in that other window with a real steamy cyber session.
heh heh

*nods*

Been there. Done that. Doh!

 

[catalina_francisco]

The concept of belonging to or with someone is very different than the concept of overtly controlling another person's behavior.

Your focus on the latter is hardly "strange". In fact, your version of the "ownership" concept is the one I have heard most often in discussions with kink practitioners.

I agree, though I would reword it to say belonging 'to' and 'with' someone are 2 totally different concepts, with ownership being different again to belonging with.

Catalina