Azuldrgon
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Please Tell Us Everything You Know About Primals
- Thread starter Wild_Honey_66
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CutieMouse
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Aaaaaaannnnd I realize [again] my partner and relationship have nothing in common with 99% of people who identify anywhere on the BDSM spectrum...
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La damnee elle la licorne
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Farawyn
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I think it is.
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Farawyn
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Mine doesn't either. That's what I meant before when I said it was personal.
cookiecat
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Azuldrgon
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midwestyankee
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For a long time, academics and regular people alike believed a sociolinguist from the early 20th century who claimed that Eskimos (the Inuit, in particular) had 50 words for snow. It made sense because it seemed reasonable that people who lived with snow for so much of the year would make much finer distinctions between different qualities of snow than the rest of us. But it was hokum. The Inuit don't have many more words for snow than most English-speaking skiers have. What this story shows is that one of the most basic human instincts is to use names and categorization to understand the world, whether that is our own world or one that we are discovering.
This discussion is reminding me of the 50-words-for-snow quandary. Primal sexual behavior seems mostly like what people used to generally call "rough sex." But now that we are "discovering" the inner world of no-longer-ruled-by-Victorian-standards sexuality, we keep finding new ways to categorize and give names to behaviors that have been around - and probably called other things at one time or another - for a very long time. Or maybe it's just one style of rough sex. But it isn't new. It an't be. Humans have been fucking for a very long time, and have been looking for ways to make it super enjoyable for oh, about two days since the first time.
This discussion is reminding me of the 50-words-for-snow quandary. Primal sexual behavior seems mostly like what people used to generally call "rough sex." But now that we are "discovering" the inner world of no-longer-ruled-by-Victorian-standards sexuality, we keep finding new ways to categorize and give names to behaviors that have been around - and probably called other things at one time or another - for a very long time. Or maybe it's just one style of rough sex. But it isn't new. It an't be. Humans have been fucking for a very long time, and have been looking for ways to make it super enjoyable for oh, about two days since the first time.
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La damnee elle la licorne
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Farawyn
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But just cause it now has a "name" doesn't make it any less so than what it is, either.
Are we saying the same thing, MWY?
Are we saying the same thing, MWY?
midwestyankee
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Yes, exactly. And, as Heisenberg said about something quite different, giving it a name can actually change it a little bit. Or was it Schrödinger's cat who said that?
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La damnee elle la licorne
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Eva_Star
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This is very interesting to me. This is the way I live. It's not that I don't have any public masks but they are very few and very thin. I've never been good at hiding behind anything...often to my detriment. In my relationship, there are no masks, at least not for me. He sees me, sees through me, so there is nothing I can hide. Everything is bare, raw, real...sometimes unpleasantly so. Sex comes from that bare place, whether it be rough, sweet, crazy, loving...it's all base emotion.
Hmmm. Very thought-provoking.
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Farawyn
Guest
And I'm not like that. My face is readable with some things, but I have tons of walls and should nots. Being "prey" and raw sexually is how I need to let it all go.
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Eva_Star
Guest
That makes total sense...I really appreciate all the different point of views here. I think I (kind of) get it, or at least, understand the idea of it now.
I think my way of being is why the more controlled aspects of bdsm work for me. I'm so...untethered (I guess that is the word) naturally that controlled scenes calm me, shut my brain off...I can follow, submit without thought.
_Necrosomantic_
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Part of the reason I specifically abhor labels so much for any express purpose outside of expository conversation, is that people tend to go into them believing they have to strictly adhere to them to some extent. Part of this is due to a community featuring a bunch of shitheads who love swarming newcomers, telling them that they are invalid, fake, or flat out wrong because they don't fit into what someone else's definition of their role is, thus creating further confusion and complicating the already arduous task of figuring themselves out by making them feel bad for not being the very picture of a ( Pyl/pyl )... Which is the biggest load of horse shit I've ever seen in my life. Nobody gets to tell you what you are, and anybody that tries or demands you fit into whatever role they want to hand you, is exactly the kind of person you want nothing to do with. We are all so much more complicated than the words commonly used to describe our individual facets. Everyone has their own spin, a slight variation, and some don't even fit any of the established or popular dynamics, so why try to label yourself or force yourself to conform to an idea established by someone else before you? They CAN help, but also hinder. Try to keep that in mind.
The truth of it all. Labels should be used and explored to further understanding and discovery, not forced upon or taken as gospel. Underneath it all, you're just you and what you mean to your significant other. Whatever that may be, there are far too many layers and subtle nuances to nail it down with a single word. So take it all with a big ass spoonful of salt, and I guarantee you'll be just fine
This is why I cannot se sub for example, or truly say little. It would be too inaccurate. Sensualist works, pyl works here. Elle is best
The truth of it all. Labels should be used and explored to further understanding and discovery, not forced upon or taken as gospel. Underneath it all, you're just you and what you mean to your significant other. Whatever that may be, there are far too many layers and subtle nuances to nail it down with a single word. So take it all with a big ass spoonful of salt, and I guarantee you'll be just fine
midwestyankee
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For the record, what sparky posted was not dramatically different from my more recent post. And, as I'm not a trained psychologist, could you please help me see the passive-aggressive behavior in his post? I can't spot it so I trust you can help me out with this. Thanks.
_Necrosomantic_
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It started before this thread, moved to several other places, and ended here. I've moved past it and so has everyone else. You're welcome.
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Farawyn
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I know it's a public board, but I'm thinking it's between them from this point on.
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midwestyankee
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Got it. The pissing contest is over. I hope you both cleaned up afterward.
_Necrosomantic_
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midwestyankee
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Yes, thanks, what would we do without a hall monitor
Oh, I don't know. Maybe get detention and miss standing near the bus line so you bully the smaller kids?
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Farawyn
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_Necrosomantic_
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* Sigh
Really? Let it go, you were contributing just fine with your 50 words for snow example. Let's not derail the thread further, no reason to.
midwestyankee
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Who's the greater fool: the fool, or the one who follows him?
