PM asshattery

[drinkz]

Hey NightL, whine much?

 

[QuantumJumping]

Thanks

Is anyone else tired of the goddamned motherfucking horseshit on this fucking thread? Because Jesus H. Tebow on a bitchcuntwhoring pogo stick it's gotten real fucking old.

Good post.

 

[ntp]

At the risk of discovering I'm the asshat, I have a question for those who are frequent asshat targets...

I hardly ever PM people out of the blue, but occasionally I will, just on the basis that they seem to write consistently interesting posts and sound like they may be cool to talk to. When I do, I try to make clear why I think they sound interesting, provide some comments or questions for them to respond to, and demonstrate that I can write full sentences and not sound like a drooling asshole.

I've met some cool people this way but I don't know what to say when someone responds with only a single line "thanks for writing" or "happy to chat" - I usually don't write back to these because i figure it means they neither want to be rude nor actually respond. I know people are inundated with PMs and it would be pointless to invest time and attention responding to every random stranger so even a polite "no thanks" is a courtesy. Likewise I don't want to invest time and effort in pursuing one-sided conversations.

Can anyone who responds this way to PMs tell me if I'm wrong? I'm not asking "wanna chat??" because that's just obnoxious, I'm usually commenting or asking about something they've said on a thread, so I figure if they did actually want to chat they would have responded to my attempt to start a conversation. Is "happy to chat" or "thanks for writing" a polite brush-off or should I actually write back and try again?

ntp

 

[Que]

I think it is a volume thing. They are sorting their mail and you went into the "Hmm, maybe...this might be interesting..." pile.

I think both of those were designed to encourage you.

They were kind of both saying, 'Go on....tell me more."

I have had people actually say that.

Like you, I am not that interested in one sided conversations so usually I drop it at that point.

To be fair, they probably ARE dealing with a lot of volume so if they are otherwise someone you really would like to correspond with, I say no harm trying again.

I suspect that you suffer from the same problem I have. I tend to give too much too soon. Less is more for building interest.

Better to give a great first line of your novel. No more than a paragraph. If you give them a chapter, you go into the "read later when I am bored (and boring)" pile

 

[ntp]

To be fair, they probably ARE dealing with a lot of volume so if they are otherwise someone you really would like to correspond with, I say no harm trying again.

Oh, no doubt - nobody owes anybody a long heartfelt essay in response to a few lines of introduction. I guess part of the problem is, like you said, a non-response like this kind of indicates that it might *not* be someone you would really like to correspond with after all.

I kind of liken it to conversations at parties where you might say "hey I heard you talking about xyz before, that's pretty cool, I wonder what you think of abc?" - if the response is "um hi?" you don't stick around and keep trying unless you're pretty desparate. Of course I guess there is a big range of social and conversational abilities everywhere...

 

[Blase]

Oh, no doubt - nobody owes anybody a long heartfelt essay in response to a few lines of introduction. I guess part of the problem is, like you said, a non-response like this kind of indicates that it might *not* be someone you would really like to correspond with after all.

I'm inclined to agree: If I sent someone a detailed message and received the written equivalent of a grunt in reply, I'd likely assume that the respondent wasn't willing to engage me to the degree that I was looking for.

I can only remember it happening once. The initial PM wasn't mine, nor was it very long or detailed, but the person sounded interesting enough that I tried sending a reply designed to elicit more detail. After a couple messages back and forth where my correspondent's responses maintained the same brevity and flatness of tone, I concluded that I was being played with and let it drop.

 

[silverwhisper]

ntp quoth:
when i do, i try to make clear why i think they sound interesting, provide some comments or questions for them to respond to, and demonstrate that i can write full sentences and not sound like a drooling asshole.

well, if you've read the previous posts in this thread, you already know that what inspires a lot of ire is: a) leg humping attempts and b) copy & paste. you seem to be making pretty clear that this isn't your deal.

you're actually using PMs the way they're intended to be used. and i think that's a good thing. :>

ed

 

[GrrlFriday]

At the risk of discovering I'm the asshat, I have a question for those who are frequent asshat targets...

I hardly ever PM people out of the blue, but occasionally I will, just on the basis that they seem to write consistently interesting posts and sound like they may be cool to talk to. When I do, I try to make clear why I think they sound interesting, provide some comments or questions for them to respond to, and demonstrate that I can write full sentences and not sound like a drooling asshole.

I've met some cool people this way but I don't know what to say when someone responds with only a single line "thanks for writing" or "happy to chat" - I usually don't write back to these because i figure it means they neither want to be rude nor actually respond. I know people are inundated with PMs and it would be pointless to invest time and attention responding to every random stranger so even a polite "no thanks" is a courtesy. Likewise I don't want to invest time and effort in pursuing one-sided conversations.

Can anyone who responds this way to PMs tell me if I'm wrong? I'm not asking "wanna chat??" because that's just obnoxious, I'm usually commenting or asking about something they've said on a thread, so I figure if they did actually want to chat they would have responded to my attempt to start a conversation. Is "happy to chat" or "thanks for writing" a polite brush-off or should I actually write back and try again?

ntp

It could depend on whether she sees the communication as being a 'burst of sunshine on a cloudy day' or a prelude to getting to know you.

 

[Que]

It could depend on whether she sees the communication as being a 'burst of sunshine on a cloudy day' or a prelude to getting to know you.

~sings~ "I've got sunshine....on a cloudy day......."


--->CLickety<---

(talkin' 'bout MY GrrlFriday....)

 

[GrrlFriday]

Hahaha - very funny!

Unfortunately, now it's time to get back to the asshats:

Subject line: Im sure you are often bombarded by messages

but I figured it was worth a try. If you are interested in chatting or playing let me know.

What is with the 'throwing spaghetti on a wall' approach?

 

[Essie1]

.....

 

[annayarnkitten]

Let's steer this thread back on track.....

??
Like it in the ass?



??
Cum yet today?


??
Like it in the ass?



For the love of all that is holy stop fing Copy and Paste me your weak, boring, juvenile attempt at making me responsible for your orgasm!!


Angry Anna

 

[silverwhisper]

anna, there was an attempt very early on to make a c&p retort to those, if you're interested.

ed

 

[GrrlFriday]

Subject title: hi

Lovely profile & lovely name! wonderful postings

Love to know you better..if you wish..of course!

Cheers,

[Name]

yahoo: [yahoo screen name]

[2 dick pics removed - not of the same man. The origin of one, and probably both, is Amateur Pics.]

I have added just a glimpse of things I like,,,hope it does not offend you ..

[9 tumblr links removed]

Sigh.

 

[Que]

Rule of thumb: If you have some question as to whether something in a first communication MIGHT offend...either leave it off, or OWN IT with pride.

That's like a flasher having "No offense?" written on his chest under the overcoat.

 

[Not His Toy]

Unless I am posting something pretty personal, most of my pm's seem to be more boring then what you are calling asshat...

Usually just "Hey, how are you doing?"

Does that ever work?

 

[Saucyminx]

I may very well end up on here soon. I answered one in a not very nice manner today. Guess we will have to wait and see.

 

[vanillyicecream]

In the scheme of things, not the worst I've seen.

You sound very tasty
I would love to taste you white cream girl.

What they all have in common is that most of their posts (if they have any at all) are in the pic threads and/or Personals.

 

[StrayKat]

What they all have in common is that most of their posts (if they have any at all) are in the pic threads and/or Personals.

Better than 15k posts in GB.

 

[vanillyicecream]

Better than 15k posts in GB.

Oh, there's a great choice too!

 

[Aphro]

Better than 15k posts in GB.

Not to worry. Those guys don't PM. They are far too busy arguing with each other about Obamacare.

 

[Cumference]

Not to worry. Those guys don't PM. They are far too busy arguing with each other about Obamacare.

Isn't that just a kind of "asshatting above the waist"?

 

[StrayKat]

Not to worry. Those guys don't PM. They are far too busy arguing with each other about Obamacare.

Some of them do actually.
But they are far less entertaining in private.

 

[RjThoughts]

Some of them do actually.
But they are far less entertaining in private.

I said I was sorry

(Okay, someone had to say it, might as well be me!)

 

[sata85]

The standard: conversation seems to be going really well, then they stop replying altogether.