PMS and BDSM

[angela146]

No, I have never heard of it. I have had the problem since I started having cycles at the age of 10, but first was told it was because I was so young, and then that they simply didn't know what was wrong.

Yes, most women who have PCOS have had it since puberty. Doctors tend to miss it and women don't know to ask about it.

Check out the following websites:

http://www.pcosupport.org/medical/whatis.php
http://www.pcos.net/whatis.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_15349.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ovariancysts.html
http://my.webmd.com/content/healthwise/171/54328.htm

 

[niteshade]

Yes, most women who have PCOS have had it since puberty. Doctors tend to miss it and women don't know to ask about it.

Check out the following websites:

http://www.pcosupport.org/medical/whatis.php
http://www.pcos.net/whatis.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_15349.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ovariancysts.html
http://my.webmd.com/content/healthwise/171/54328.htm

Thanks, I will take a look and talk to my doctor.

 

[angela146]

Thanks, I will take a look and talk to my doctor.

Yes, even if it isn't PCOS, the key is to let the doctor know *all* of your symptoms, even the ones that don't seem to be related.

 

[lark sparrow]

I get moodier, more easily frustrated, less patient; more highs and lows generally speaking. I have a good girlfriend who's cycle always begins directly before mine, so she gives me a bit warning if my body isn't already. Knowing that is hormonal makes it easier for me; that it is soon to pass, and can be handled... venting with someone who personally relates and can laugh and rage with me can help lol... as I partner with women, and women tend to synchronize this is not difficult... or to put my own aside to support theirs and use that energy by turning it upside down.

my worst symptom from the beginning to the present is that if I do not take a pain reliever immediately when the cramps set in there is about a 50/50 chance that I will literally become physically ill and attached to the porcelain goddess for at least half a day praying... it's the only pain I've felt that can sometimes make me truly nauseous and utterly useless. The emotional effects are far less daunting, and a couple of ibuprofren taken in a timely manner ward off the worst of the worst. But I do have menopause to look forward to - Rahhhhhhhh!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks to all for their entries. To me part of this thread is almost like reading a horror story. First thing that comes to mind is THANK GOD I AM NOT A WOMAN, AND THANK GOD THAT THERE ARE WOMEN.

And we claim we are the stronger sex.

I would also like to thank AnelizeDarkEyes and Desdemona for sharing their medical knowledge.

I am reading and following the links you have given angela146, had never heard about PCOS, TY for that.

I am still not sure what I as a man can do to help during PMS besides trying to be there. But as a Dominant I find the helpnessness of it all very frustating, I keep thinking there must be something more I can do.

Francisco.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I get moodier, more easily frustrated, less patient; more highs and lows generally speaking. I have a good girlfriend who's cycle always begins directly before mine, so she gives me a bit warning if my body isn't already. Knowing that is hormonal makes it easier for me; that it is soon to pass, and can be handled... venting with someone who personally relates and can laugh and rage with me can help lol... as I partner with women, and women tend to synchronize this is not difficult... or to put my own aside to support theirs and use that energy by turning it upside down.

my worst symptom from the beginning to the present is that if I do not take a pain reliever immediately when the cramps set in there is about a 50/50 chance that I will literally become physically ill and attached to the porcelain goddess for at least half a day praying... it's the only pain I've felt that can sometimes make me truly nauseous and utterly useless. The emotional effects are far less daunting, and a couple of ibuprofren taken in a timely manner ward off the worst of the worst. But I do have menopause to look forward to - Rahhhhhhhh!

I can so relate to the pain thing. I was advised by a pharmacist in Oz that if I began taking a strong painkiller, especially one with an anti-inflamatory agent in it, round the clock as according to dosage guideleines and starting 2 days before my period, it would relieve a lot of the pain etc. I tried it and it did seem to make it much less, almost non existent if I stuck to it for the week, but I started worrying about the effect of the drugs on my body long term and cut back.

Have seriously considered the option again lately though as like you, it is the type pain which makes me physically ill and unlike anything else I have experienced including childbirth. I am also noticing the pain is progressing to be a gripping type across the diaphragm as well so obviously it is not listening to me. Menopause....wonder what joys that might hold or not hold.....figure better the devil you know at the moment. Chicken am I.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

You know Catalina, have you looked into adding a significant amount of soy products into your diet? If you are indeed pre-menopausal, you may get some relief from the phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogens) found in soy products. It's one of the big reasons that you see soy products touted for peri-menopausal women.

Just a thought. *hugs*



~anelize

Used to eat tons of Soy and Linseed bread in Oz which is supposed to work wonders. Haven't found it here as yet so maybe I need to buy a breadmaker. Maybe it is a matter of also studying Sandra Cabot's book on Menopause I bought a few months back. She is usually up on the natural alternatives and if all else fails the various recognised medical choices and their risks.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't think I have ever really experianced pms on the levels spoken of here, but I was beginning to devolpe the nasty mood swings and crying jags last year before I started taking Depoprovera (sp?) It is a birthcontrol shot you take once every three months and then you cease to have a period all together.

Since I started taking the depo about 11 months ago, I have not had any symptoms that I could identify as pms, and I also have stopped having a cycle all together, which is great because not only was it irregular, but it was so painful I couldn't walk for several days during it.

Have you had any weight gain problems with Depoprovera? I used it several years ago and immediatley went from tiny to gigantic in less than 2 months and have fought it ever since. I was unable to lose any weight at all for 5 years afterward, but still have a battle I never had before. I have also had a few friends who had the same experience with it, one was an athlete and policeperson who had massive weight gain such as I did and could not reverse it no matter how much training she did. She ended up having to give up the athletics. Of course my doctor finally told me later it was one of the side effects for some. Just wondered if they have improved on it by now.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

OK, while we appreciate al the valueable input for me, I was wondering if any of the gifted Dominants in our midst had any tips for the Saintly one on how he can best survive this trying stage in our journey. I would not want his halo to slip.

Catalina

 

[niteshade]

Have you had any weight gain problems with Depoprovera? I used it several years ago and immediatley went from tiny to gigantic in less than 2 months and have fought it ever since. I was unable to lose any weight at all for 5 years afterward, but still have a battle I never had before. I have also had a few friends who had the same experience with it, one was an athlete and policeperson who had massive weight gain such as I did and could not reverse it no matter how much training she did. She ended up having to give up the athletics. Of course my doctor finally told me later it was one of the side effects for some. Just wondered if they have improved on it by now.

Catalina

I think I may have gained about 10 lbs since I started taking it, but I also went to work at a job where about 90% of the employees gain 10 lbs in their first year. (we do stupid stuff like have pot lucks once a week, and tend to munch all during our shifts... not a good plan when you are sitting on your butt on the phone all day. )

Other than that, no... and though I suppose 10lbs really is quite a lot in one year, I don't consider it massive. Massive was when I was 21 and gained 80lbs in two months while I was fighting for custody of my sisters.

 

[niteshade]

OK, while we appreciate al the valueable input for me, I was wondering if any of the gifted Dominants in our midst had any tips for the Saintly one on how he can best survive this trying stage in our journey. I would not want his halo to slip.

Catalina

Oh my, are we back to the Saint Francisco stuff again??? If so, my knees are likely to give out from all the bowing and scraping. ( I will leave the more interesting knee exersices to you )

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh my, are we back to the Saint Francisco stuff again??? If so, my knees are likely to give out from all the bowing and scraping. ( I will leave the more interesting knee exersices to you )

LOL....he likes me on my knees at times, but then I'm lucky, he likes me anyway possible.

Catalina

 

[angela146]

OK, while we appreciate al the valueable input for me, I was wondering if any of the gifted Dominants in our midst had any tips for the Saintly one on how he can best survive this trying stage in our journey. I would not want his halo to slip.

Catalina

I showed this thread to hubby and asked if had any thoughts to share. He did and I'll summarize:

1. This is one of those things that's unique to the individual. While there are some common threads, each woman's exprience of PMS is unique to her. So, you have to do a lot of trial and error.

The rest of this is what works with me. It might not work with you. In fact it might be horribly wrong for you.

2. What works with me (and might or might not work with Catalina) is that he takes me to a place where the SM is so intense as to block out absolutely everything else. He keeps me there for a while so that it has a timeless feel to it. The phrase he used was "a blinding white fire that burns off all of the impurities". He equates it to firing ceramics in a kiln.

(I would call it an "emotional purging" but hubby says that's "girl talk" and we're trying to explain this to Francisco).

3. For us, this means no safeword. For you, he wouldn't suggest that unless you already have that level of trust. Instead, any intense physical/emotional experience might work as long as it's appropriate to you and your relationship. It might not be pain, it might be a really good long sustained orgasm (hmmm... that sounds nice...).

4. Don't take anything negative that she says (during this time) personally and don't hold it against her or punish her for it. If she tells you that you're a miserable stinking lousy excuse for a husband and that she hates you and she's going to leave you and go home to mother... give her a big hug and be strong for her. But, don't try to tell her that "she doesn't feel that way" and don't defend yourself. Yes, he really is suggesting that you let her use you as an emotional punching bag. His attitude is "I'm a man. I can take it." (And by the way, that's an incredibly sexy attitude in this girl's eyes).

5. If she yells and screams a lot, being calm in return is not necessarily a good idea. That might just make her scream louder because she doesn't feel like you are listening to her. The idea is to use "stepped down anger" or to "de-escalate" her feelings. If she screams at 100 decibels, you boom back at her with 95 decibels (using your deep authoritative thundering baritone voice). Don't yell at her to hurt her, speak loudly and commandingly to her in order to get control of her.

6. If at all possible, stay in control of your own emotions. It's best if only one of you is out of control at a time. If you also "lose it", forgive each other (once you both get back in your right minds).

Again, we both want to re-emphasize this, this might be completely ineffective and/or inappropriate for you two. PMS does not respond to "one size fits all" solutions.

(Hubby tells me that I've over-explained this and I'm rambling too much. Well, tough. This is my username and I'll over-explain if I want to... phbllllllllt...)

Ouch! Ow! Hey, stop it! OK, I'm sorry... Owwww! I'll be a good girl! Owwwwww! ...

(Most of all, keep a sense of humor).

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh can I identify with what this slave speaks of experiencing and feeling, but do I ever envy her 28 day cycle as opposed to my much shorter one!! Great reading for PYL/pyl's alike who are trying to manage these issues.

He said, she said: PMS and being a slave

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

I'm a PYL and I'm prone to moderate mood swings and pain with PMS, but all of a sudden I am finding out the joys of prednisone. This is a drug that creates rage in me. The ugliest rage of the worst PMS I've ever had. Yet I have to be on it right now.

I'm the person who's supposed to be in control and chemically I don't get to be right now. I'm not worried about being inappropriate to my Dom, I'm worried about being abusive to my submissive, emotionally and verbally.

The only solution I'm finding is trying to lay low when I feel ugly, and I'm hoping this is all over soon.

 

[Ravenari]

Used to eat tons of Soy and Linseed bread in Oz which is supposed to work wonders.

I'll be brief (hell, I'm a newbie, that's all I can be at the moment! ). Linseed oil is easy to purchase, no matter where you are. It can be found in both shopping stores (as a cooking oil or flavouring oil usually near the sesame) and in art stores as it's a medium used in oil painting.

The linseed oil is the active ingredient that works well with PMS, therefore if you can find linseed oil capsules, or the oil itself, and either use it a lot in your cooking for a while (I find it's nice with mushrooms), or take two linseed oil capsules a day, you're on a good thing. The soy can be found in tofu, or in soy milk. This should overcome the problem of not having the bread, it can also overcome the problem of constipation - which most breads cause, particularly if white.

Also consider Omega-3 fatty acids and fish oil in general. Not only does this help with PMS, but it generally improves mood. Unfortunately you do need to take about six capsules of this a day to have any effect. But like with many natural herbs, this is often the case.

Finally, for PMS, aside from evening primrose oil you might like to consider exercise first thing in the morning. As hard as it is to drag our arses out of bed and do some stretches, Yoga, pilates, taiji and many other stretching forms (in particular Bellydancing) will tone the cramping muscles and also relax them.

I find that because of a history of intensive abuse, I get terrible cramps related to excessive bleeding due to uterine scar tissue. The only thing that really works for me these days - aside from linseed oil (which I often forget to take) and walking in the morning, is heat. Literally just heat directly applied to the belly or site of cramps. Sometimes it's in the form of a bath, but mostly it's just a hot water bottle, even in summer, to ease the cramping muscles and facilitate the passage of blood.

As for mood swings, I find that my diet will determine exactly how bad I get. If a week beforehand I'm eating junk-food and a lot of processed foods, my PMS is terrible. I cry, get angry, and can also get suicidal and v. self destructive. If I change my diet and eat healthy, in effect starting a small detox, my PMS is often quite good.

I think of PMS as my little 'detox' time, its' the time when all my emotions no matter how irrational, have a small window in which to cathartically find their way out of my body, through zits, or cramps or whatever. I am gentle with myself, and tend to find that any pain at this time - particularly spanking, sends me into too much of a traumatic headspin, and usually makes me flashback. So PMS is usually a pain-free, and often sex-free time.

I get post PMS (whatever that is called) also, but usually only for about twelve hours.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Used to eat tons of Soy and Linseed bread in Oz which is supposed to work wonders.

I'll be brief (hell, I'm a newbie, that's all I can be at the moment! ). Linseed oil is easy to purchase, no matter where you are. It can be found in both shopping stores (as a cooking oil or flavouring oil usually near the sesame) and in art stores as it's a medium used in oil painting.

The linseed oil is the active ingredient that works well with PMS, therefore if you can find linseed oil capsules, or the oil itself, and either use it a lot in your cooking for a while (I find it's nice with mushrooms), or take two linseed oil capsules a day, you're on a good thing. The soy can be found in tofu, or in soy milk. This should overcome the problem of not having the bread, it can also overcome the problem of constipation - which most breads cause, particularly if white.

Also consider Omega-3 fatty acids and fish oil in general. Not only does this help with PMS, but it generally improves mood. Unfortunately you do need to take about six capsules of this a day to have any effect. But like with many natural herbs, this is often the case.

Finally, for PMS, aside from evening primrose oil you might like to consider exercise first thing in the morning. As hard as it is to drag our arses out of bed and do some stretches, Yoga, pilates, taiji and many other stretching forms (in particular Bellydancing) will tone the cramping muscles and also relax them.

I find that because of a history of intensive abuse, I get terrible cramps related to excessive bleeding due to uterine scar tissue. The only thing that really works for me these days - aside from linseed oil (which I often forget to take) and walking in the morning, is heat. Literally just heat directly applied to the belly or site of cramps. Sometimes it's in the form of a bath, but mostly it's just a hot water bottle, even in summer, to ease the cramping muscles and facilitate the passage of blood.

As for mood swings, I find that my diet will determine exactly how bad I get. If a week beforehand I'm eating junk-food and a lot of processed foods, my PMS is terrible. I cry, get angry, and can also get suicidal and v. self destructive. If I change my diet and eat healthy, in effect starting a small detox, my PMS is often quite good.

I think of PMS as my little 'detox' time, its' the time when all my emotions no matter how irrational, have a small window in which to cathartically find their way out of my body, through zits, or cramps or whatever. I am gentle with myself, and tend to find that any pain at this time - particularly spanking, sends me into too much of a traumatic headspin, and usually makes me flashback. So PMS is usually a pain-free, and often sex-free time.

I get post PMS (whatever that is called) also, but usually only for about twelve hours.

Take Omega 3, EPO, Ginkgo, Vit E, and exercise, and have also tried the heat for the same problems as you have but find sometimes it increases the bleeding, so do that carefully. I came from Oz so that is where I gained most of my knowledge of natural therapies, and yes, I thought it would be easy to buy anywhere but The Netherlands is unique in what they see as necessary and readily available. For instance, bicarbonate of soda is difficult to find and is usually only found on the back shelf of some pharmacies in small packets of about 30 gr max. So far I have had no luck with finding linseed oil but came across one loaf of linseed and soy bread which was 'New!!" and around AU$4.50 a small loaf. EPO last time I found it and priced it was in the range of AU$200 a bottle of 30 tablets of 1/4 the strength recommended for minimal problems. Most of the vitamins and minerals here if they are available are also in small dosages and high pricing. I also suffer from skin allergies and have used Sorbolene for years.....there are products here supposedly for allergy prone skins, but all are laden with perfumes which is a contradiction given that perfume is one of the most allergy reacting substances in skin products. It has been a nightmare finding things and many I send back to Oz for. It is just beginning to catch on here to have sugar free products apart from Diet Coke, the rest of the food and drink lines are laden with sugar and salt.....not fun for someone who was on a salt free and sugar free diet due to health issues. LOL, insect spray is another thing you will not find on a supermarket shelf here...have to go to select drugstores or pet shops and usually ask for it, and then if they have it there might be 1-2 brands to choose from.

I so envy you your 12 hour PMS.....if that was the extent of mine I think I would just try and sleep through it....unfortunately it is more like 3 weeks out of every month minimum, with a 2.5 - 3 week cycle.

Catalina

 

[Quint]

Well, this puts a bit of perspective into my life. I'm so used to feeling short-changed on the benefits of being female--it's impossible for me to have multiple orgasms or come on command or all the other fun things I hear about, and I used to get really depressed thinking about that. But on the flip side, yeah I get moody and tend to focus irrationally on trivial negative things, but that's about 3 days of the month. Mostly I feel content and productive before and during my period. So I guess the lack of horrid here makes up for the lack of fantastic elsewhere.

Cat and all who suffer severe PMS, best wishes to all of you.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well, this puts a bit of perspective into my life. I'm so used to feeling short-changed on the benefits of being female--it's impossible for me to have multiple orgasms or come on command or all the other fun things I hear about, and I used to get really depressed thinking about that. But on the flip side, yeah I get moody and tend to focus irrationally on trivial negative things, but that's about 3 days of the month. Mostly I feel content and productive before and during my period. So I guess the lack of horrid here makes up for the lack of fantastic elsewhere.

Cat and all who suffer severe PMS, best wishes to all of you.

LOL, thanks...and then we are also dealing with suspected menopausal hormonal upheaval...it is a wonder we are still hanging in there. No doubt coming from a family of depressive illnesses is both helping and not helping the whole situation. As to you getting short changed in some other areas.......in the words of a wise man I live with, don't believe everything you hear and read because a lot of it ain't necessarily so.

Catalina

 

[SweetSurrendered1]

I so envy you your 12 hour PMS.....if that was the extent of mine I think I would just try and sleep through it....unfortunately it is more like 3 weeks out of every month minimum, with a 2.5 - 3 week cycle.

Catalina

I don't often suffer from PMS myself. I have more problems in the first couple of days of my period. Sometimes it starts a day or two before, but not often. My cycles are very short also, usually 21 to 24 days, which totally bites. Spending almost 1/3 of my life bleeding just isn't fun. I actually just started last night and reading this thread has made me feel so sad that some of you have such a terrible time. I do get very emotional and often feel like crying but I don't usually get angry. I sometimes get cramps which usually get much better if I wear a tampon instead of a pad. And sometimes I bleed so heavily that I have virtually no energy, which makes me want to cry more. But again, I am lucky because it usually only lasts a couple of days each time.

My husband/Dom is very supportive of me during this time also. Spanking does not work for me as it makes me more sad for some reason so this is generally the time when he babies me a bit. I get lots of hugs and we cuddle more and it makes me feel safe and loved. I am very lucky to have found someone who understands and does not make fun of me or tell me to get over it, as I've heard many other men do to their wives.

I wish I had suggestions/knowledge to share with those of you who suffer so much. All I can offer is my best wishes and my support, if it's ever needed. Good luck to each of you!

 

[YinandYang]

Just found this topic, and grateful to read some of the replies. I get very tearful a couple of days before period is due, I usually end up feeling very needy emotionally. It does affect the BDSM aspect of our relationship because I find during a period I can't tolerate any pain. I seem to get super sensitive. And not just in a physical way, but emotionally too. Its only now I am in my thrities that I have learnt to look closely at my emotions and feelings during this time and realise its a natural course, and when its going to happen. I hardly ever get the 'hatchet wielding scorned women' thing (I dont think so anyway lol)...just very sensitive, and can hurt easily. So its around this time my SO knows to be extra loving

Thanks for this topic

 

[slave C]

I agree with MissTaken and Anelize DE. A good session helps a lot. I too, have a great Master of 20 years that knows all my moods and be firm and gentle or get in line little girl. I also deal with low blood sugar. Try combining those two and you will have your work cut out for you. I have been dealing with low sugar levels since a child and they are similar to pms. So I have learned to deal with them both. I was raised by a southern lady. No raised voice,swearing, wine not beer. That,s a mans drink. No sports activities again mans affairs. No smoking, well ya'll get my point. So I have learned to hide and work around my pms and sugar problems. My Husband/Master knows when I need to eat and will definitely make sure that I do. I use a soy based creame called Pro-Soy Max found at health food stores. This a cream that you used a little dab every day and helps balance your moods. If I'm really feeling rough I grab my saw and cut firewood. That helps a lot. Think I will rename myself redneck sub. LOL submissively slave c

 

[TaintedB]

Antidepressants of the ssri type help a lot with this condition. If your moodswings are severe enough, the "leveling out" is worth it, IMO. You have to get the right combination and dosage of these things, however, or you may find your sex drive disapating. One combination that worked well for me for a good number of years was an ssri combo to level out the moods and with it the female dosage of testosterone (which is about 1/100th to 1/60th as strong as the male dose, so don't borrow any pills from your men friends, lol) to keep my interest in the physical high.

 

[soapstar]

I experience the moodiness, bloating, irritation common to many women, but I also begin to crave D/s play at the same time, to the extent that if I dont have it I have orgasms in my sleep dreaming about it. The equivalent to a male wet-dream I guess.

Now Im wondering if this is common?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I experience the moodiness, bloating, irritation common to many women, but I also begin to crave D/s play at the same time, to the extent that if I dont have it I have orgasms in my sleep dreaming about it. The equivalent to a male wet-dream I guess.

Now Im wondering if this is common?

LOL, I have had that many times though I'm not sure it was related to PMS and isn't necessarily a result of my needs not being met...often the opposite.

Catalina