Polemics of Mass Destruction

[Magnetron]

Someone just earned himself a custom polemic today.

 

[pelegrino]

I could not pm you this, but I don't mind to post it:
I am sorry to see that your comment (or general point you made) on the poem "A Case Of The Munchies" by LeopoldNicholas has disappeared. Is there a pre-history in this? I am not aware but it does not seem very democratic to me that some people can like a poem but some others cannot dislike it. All opinions expressed from the worst to the best and from the foolish to the wise should be there for posterity, so that we all can marvel at them. Who could be afraid of an unfair critique? In the end it would turn against the critic if it was indeed unfair.
Bloody hell, it disappeared!
How is your custom polemic progressing, by the way?

 

[Magnetron]

I could not pm you this, but I don't mind to post it:
I am sorry to see that your comment (or general point you made) on the poem "A Case Of The Munchies" by LeopoldNicholas has disappeared. Is there a pre-history in this? I am not aware but it does not seem very democratic to me that some people can like a poem but some others cannot dislike it. All opinions expressed from the worst to the best and from the foolish to the wise should be there for posterity, so that we all can marvel at them. Who could be afraid of an unfair critique? In the end it would turn against the critic if it was indeed unfair.
Bloody hell, it disappeared!
How is your custom polemic progressing, by the way?

He deleted a comment by twelve.

The original comment by me that he deleted asked him to explain what the poem was about, what his motivation for writing it was.

He deleted a second comment by me saying this behavior was a one way ticket to having his writing ignored.

To me, it suggests he is too image conscious - good poets don't have other poets questioning their work.

Great inspiration for a polemic, which I haven't started yet but I am sure it will come to me.

 

[twelveoone]

He deleted a comment by twelve.

The original comment by me that he deleted asked him to explain what the poem was about, what his motivation for writing it was.

He deleted a second comment by me saying this behavior was a one way ticket to having his writing ignored.

To me, it suggests he is too image conscious - good poets don't have other poets questioning their work.

Great inspiration for a polemic, which I haven't started yet but I am sure it will come to me.

that one was one of my less flippant too, and it was good advice
if you got good stuff, don't bury it.

but here you are wrong:
good poets don't have other poets questioning their work.

good poets should question other's work, and their own.
I had a poem up once, rather well received, it was questioned by another, not only was he right, but in re-looking I discover other holes, including an inadvertent plagiarism, now the only reason the comment went, was because the poem did.
But I stated so publicly and thanked him.

There is another poem I lost control of, at least half of the comments pointed it out. Problem is I don't know how to fix it, and I'm not inclined to revisit it.
Poem is: Last Year on Earth

Another was a word test for azurite (I forget the title) , against my hopes it failed, the comments confirmed it. It sticks out like a rock, which is what I wanted, but it doesn't work.

Now some comments are bullshit, some responses are bullshit, and some emails are bullshit.

But when I see I am wrong, I do back up and admit it, now this latest brouhaha has a three way agenda behind it (a history), so congrats on your H, two will longer receive overly generous fives. (of which I receive shit for too)

 

[Magnetron]

that one was one of my less flippant too, and it was good advice
if you got good stuff, don't bury it.

but here you are wrong:
good poets don't have other poets questioning their work.

good poets should question other's work, and their own.
I had a poem up once, rather well received, it was questioned by another, not only was he right, but in re-looking I discover other holes, including an inadvertent plagiarism, now the only reason the comment went, was because the poem did.
But I stated so publicly and thanked him.

There is another poem I lost control of, at least half of the comments pointed it out. Problem is I don't know how to fix it, and I'm not inclined to revisit it.
Poem is: Last Year on Earth

Another was a word test for azurite (I forget the title) , against my hopes it failed, the comments confirmed it. It sticks out like a rock, which is what I wanted, but it doesn't work.

Now some comments are bullshit, some responses are bullshit, and some emails are bullshit.

But when I see I am wrong, I do back up and admit it, now this latest brouhaha has a three way agenda behind it (a history), so congrats on your H, two will longer receive overly generous fives. (of which I receive shit for too)

Oh, I agree with you about questioning the work of others and having others question your own work.

I meant that Leo appears to be overly concerned with appearances - seems to think being questioned makes him look like a less than good writer.

 

[twelveoone]

Oh, I agree with you about questioning the work of others and having others question your own work.

I meant that Leo appears to be overly concerned with appearances - seems to think being questioned makes him look like a less than good writer.

actually I think I did say that, I didn't even have the "if" in it.
if I said:
"Wow, I can even hear the crunch of the chips" do you think he would think I'm sarcastic? I hate being thought of being sarcastic.
crunch
crunch

 

[Magnetron]

Great American New Age Novel


There's a girl named Dawn
Anxiously awaiting to live her dull life on
A topaz island paradise
In the long anticipated Age of Aquarius
While the Millenium has come and gone
Time kept on marching strong
And life on this rock hurtling through space?
Well, it's still no more precarious

Down on your luck?

Wanna make a fast buck?

Just write yourself a New Age book
And you'll make money by the truckload

Sucker born every minute
And if your quick to get in on it
I hear it's quite the racket
Not unlike that Davinci Code

Claims of molestation
By gray space aliens in the night
Came back from the dead
After recruitment by Beings of White Light
Drilled a hole in your head
Increasing oxygen feed to the brain
The genius of trephination
Who'd care if you weren't already insane?

Exploit their pain

Sell them fear

They are their own worst enemies
And your best salesman
Especially when you tell them

The End is near

There's a man named Paul who had a hot date
Waited for Jesus to call on him till the hour grew late
Wishing to be swept off his feet
Carried away into the clouds of the Ever Loving Rapture
So what went wrong?
Life as usual kept rolling on
Must have been a gaping hole within
The Lord's Metaphysical Net of Soul Capture

So get off your ass
Stop watching reruns of Ugly Betty
You'll kick yourself
For not having not thought of it already
Get hard at work on that Great American New Age Novel
And in no time flat
They'll be on their knees praying
If not groveling
Most importantly of all
Paying you for nothing

Thanks for nothing

 

[Magnetron]

Tech Support


You asked me a question

I gave you the answer

What more do you want from me?
Tech support is and was always free
There is nothing left that I can give you
Told you everything that I know

Would you like for me to bleed?
Would it help fulfill your consumer need?
Just say the word, I'll do the deed
Slice my wrists and let the juices flow

Are you through with reaming me a new asshole?
Because if you're not, just say so
I'd like to get myself a jar of vaseline

What's that you say?
paper crumpling
Maam, your phone is breaking up
more paper crumpling
You need to call back on a clearer channel
even more crumpling of paper
And I hope you end up sucking cock in Hell
crumple paper crumple
No, I didn't say anything of the sort
paper crumple paper
I said, It sounds like there is a sock over your cell
crumple

Are you done chewing off my head?
Like a preying mantis, caught in your mandibles
I struggle just to make it till the end of my shift

What more do you want from me?
Tech support is and was always free
There is nothing left that I can give you
Not a coupon, nor a free gift

Do you really think I could have it rougher?
As if there was more that I could suffer
I'm hanging up now, you whining moaning
Silly stupid fucking idiot

ca-lick

 

[twelveoone]

Tech Support


I said, It sounds like there is a sock over your cell

phone
consider enjambment here

variation of a comedy routine from SNL on line from the exorcist, it helps to study the classics.

 

[Magnetron]

variation of a comedy routine from SNL on line from the exorcist, it helps to study the classics.

I would bet money the bit originated in a Stooges short.

 

[Tsotha]

Another was a word test for azurite (I forget the title) , against my hopes it failed, the comments confirmed it. It sticks out like a rock, which is what I wanted, but it doesn't work.

Are you talking of "red tint", "copper base and satin azurite"? I thought the idea was to describe the sky and the earth. Azurite is a blue mineral that contains copper, just as the sky (or the atmosphere) "contains" (or enfolds) the earth. Further, azurite isn't a gas, it's so it's a strange comparison. Was there more to it?

 

[twelveoone]

Are you talking of "red tint", "copper base and satin azurite"? I thought the idea was to describe the sky and the earth. Azurite is a blue mineral that contains copper, just as the sky (or the atmosphere) "contains" (or enfolds) the earth. Further, azurite isn't a gas, it's so it's a strange comparison. Was there more to it?

It was written before Hurricane Sandy, the sky was pristine and that colour, but I knew I was going to get hammered. I failed to tie that one "azurite" down. I may have a solution now, but I really don't want to look at it.

 

[todski28]

dear rapist, your excuses hold no sway with me

http://www.literotica.com/p/unclean


Hands shake, clenched
nails sink, tendons shudder
over some mother fucker
that I want beneath my fists

eyes bulge, white flecks
of foam and spittle form
Oh to indulge
to feel the breath exhale
from his chest in a whoosh
as I slam my foot into his ribs
like a sledge hammer strikes
a wall, in demolition

can you dig how good it would be
to do the world this favour
savour in an animalistic
feast to unleash a cleansing beast

Oh the law dissaproves of vigilante behaviour
but I crave a minute of his time
to say hi from a friend of mine
someone that couldn't
someone you shouldn't have touched
and as such the law dictates you are safe
from the repercussions you have earned
should be burned into your forhead

there is no redemption you could beg for
no knee groveling that could sway
me into compassion
my reaction is as volatile as
volcanic eruption I can't speak
my voice shakes an octave
of adrenaline fueled rage
if I were sage enough to give a fuck
I would listen to your plea
but what you have done
is beyond saviour from me

condemnation a little time for
contemplation
I know where you live

and I'm coming for your due
so say hi to Satan coz when I get there
we will say hi again too.

 

[Magnetron]

Todski, do you feel better now that you got that out of your system?

< he asked while shielding himself with a metal garbage can lid

can you dig how good it would be
to do the world this favour
savour in an animalistic
feast to unleash a cleansing beast

I'm certainly digging these lines!

 

[todski28]

Todski, do you feel better now that you got that out of your system?

< he asked while shielding himself with a metal garbage can lid



I'm certainly digging these lines!

I guess it'll have to do..... Unless you want to put up your address
I have had someone try to use a garbage can lid as a shield in a fight in the days when I was a "patron liaison officer" (bouncer in a night club) I fractured two bones in my right hand punching it into his face, stupid move on my part, I should have front kicked it first, but you live and learn. I kicked it after the hand was broken, he lost a couple of teeth when the lid smashed him in the mouth.... I forget where my point was

 

[butters]

I guess it'll have to do..... Unless you want to put up your address
I have had someone try to use a garbage can lid as a shield in a fight in the days when I was a "patron liaison officer" (bouncer in a night club) I fractured two bones in my right hand punching it into his face, stupid move on my part, I should have front kicked it first, but you live and learn. I kicked it after the hand was broken, he lost a couple of teeth when the lid smashed him in the mouth.... I forget where my point was

point -> a garbage can lid is no defense. it becomes part of the weapon the attacker can use. to be honest, i don't think a brick wall would have worked any better - not when you're determined.

and yes, of course a kick would have been better first.
not that i advocate violence, naturally.

 

[Tsotha]

not that i advocate violence, naturally.

Violence actually does solve problems.

 

[todski28]

Violence actually does solve problems.

It is a universal language unfortunately

 

[twelveoone]

Violence actually does solve problems.

Violence is golden, olden
but my hands still seethe
Rarely, often begets more. Tends to become senseless after awhile. Not that sense is all what it is cracked up to be.

 

[twelveoone]

I guess it'll have to do..... Unless you want to put up your address
I have had someone try to use a garbage can lid as a shield in a fight in the days when I was a "patron liaison officer" (bouncer in a night club) I fractured two bones in my right hand punching it into his face, stupid move on my part, I should have front kicked it first, but you live and learn. I kicked it after the hand was broken, he lost a couple of teeth when the lid smashed him in the mouth.... I forget where my point was

verily it is written
those that live by the can
die by the can

 

[Magnetron]

I AM


I
Didn't walk the dust of this Earth
In those holy worn out sandals
For you to take my name in vain
In your thoughtless wars with mindless vandals

I
Never expected any of this
When turning that water into wine
Now the person I was is long gone
While some icon is worshiped as divine

I
Graced the headlines for the longest time
For a simple carpenter how could this be?
Merely told everyone the simplest of truths
Treated them as I wished they would've treated
Me

I am

I

I am pissed

More than you could imagine
In your wildest dreams
So pissed

The lessons I taught, you missed
Back then when we first met
How easily you forget

I've decided to come back once again
Throw my hat in the ring
Hit the ground running

And nothing you see
Will be as it seems

You
Won't recognize me this time around
Like you never noticed so many times before
No, I won't be preaching over the Internets
Don't expect me knocking on your front door

I'll be cruising the streets in 2073
As usual, mingling with the bums and whores
Denim jacket and leather cowboy boots
Browsing the adult novelty stores

Dispense with the idea that He will return
Like you've forgotten that carpenter before
And if you don't pay back any money I loan you
Expect me to be kicking in your front door

I am

I am coming back
And this time around
I'll be living my life just for me

The burdens of your sins were always yours
You never listened

You just didn't want it to be

 

[twelveoone]

http://www.literotica.com/p/unclean


to do the world this favour
savour in an animalistic
feast to unleash a cleansing beast

noted long E; here it is risky (because of suffixed words), but notice the S sound progression sa, ist, sing, not bad snarl. Could do with another R.
Be careful with proximity rhyme favour/ savour, feast/beast, nice progression of space and what have we here:

Oh the law dissaproves of vigilante behaviour
bingo

I apologise. mag. this is tod's, most of the way though the comment, and too lazy to put it where it belongs.

 

[Magnetron]

I apologise. mag. this is tod's, most of the way though the comment, and too lazy to put it where it belongs.

Where else would it go?

This thread is your thread
This thread is Todski's thread
This thread was made for you and me
From the coast of California .......

 

[todski28]

Where else would it go?

This thread is your thread
This thread is Todski's thread
This thread was made for you and me
From the coast of California .......

Does anyone else feel the warmth here? It is a good thread in my opinion, you have some killer lines and cool Sonics as well as the fact that every one should rant in verse. Hahaha. Keep up the good work magnetron

noted long E; here it is risky (because of suffixed words), but notice the S sound progression sa, ist, sing, not bad snarl. Could do with another R.
Be careful with proximity rhyme favour/ savour, feast/beast, nice progression of space and what have we here:

Oh the law dissaproves of vigilante behaviour
bingo

I apologise. mag. this is tod's, most of the way though the comment, and too lazy to put it where it belongs.

Thanks for the thoughts 1201 and magnetron for picking up on the same part snarl such a good word may have to re-write and use it somewhere,

 

[Magnetron]

White Noise


I scream
Larynx tearing at the seam

I shout
Only choked warblings come out

I dream
Nightmarish world crowding all about

Me?
Will I ever wake up?
Unsettling is the doubt creeping into this ...

... dome

This sad place you call, Home

Where pretty unicorns with glued on horns
Prance upon artificial turf never growing
Playground grass always greener
Under every unoccupied
Rainbow colored tube slide
Each windswept swing
As bleached white fluffy bunnies
Hippitty hop in their toing and froing

Quothing, the Raven sings
Crowing his Edgar Allen Poeing
Psychopompos
Flying sideways
Cattywampus

Upon entering the storyspace
Bursts into flame

Shrieking
Shriking
Plummeting to the ground

Charred beak, singed feathers
Scatter all over the place

White Noise
Deadly radius of superficial static
Locked away in every dusty attic
Poetry never vocalized into words

White Noise
Spiraling down from the sky
Lame magpied fried
Scorched scores of dying blackbirds

I fail to scream
This is where sonnetry goes to die!

I can't shout
This is where lyricality commits suicide!

Trapped inside
Crying for anyone to let them out
Autistic girls and dyslexic boys
Bloody their deformed fists
Against rusty hinged attic doors

Through cobwebbed skeleton keyholes
Wild eyed blind boys peep
While all the pigeontoed deaf girls
Weep

White Noise
Where the locals can be heard
Discouraging poetry from ever being
Put forth into word
Broadcast as song
Pretending life is normal
As if nothing is wrong
Going about their lives
All along
Chanting,
White Noise

Impenetrable, this sound barrier
White Noise

Downing any feathered message carrier
White Noise

Death to each and every dirty bird
White Noise

Drowning out the ugly truths
Desperate to be seen and heard
White Noise