Pondering serious thoughts here..

[Alegra_Duncan]

Curiosity made me open the link called "wading" and i think it is a good name. Why do abused people need to talk endlessly about the sordid things thag happened to them? Is it to feed the appetite of those aroused by things like that? And why do you come here looking for healing? It is hardly the right place being a porn board.

 

[Quoll]

Curiosity made me open the link called "wading" and i think it is a good name. Why do abused people need to talk endlessly about the sordid things thag happened to them? Is it to feed the appetite of those aroused by things like that? And why do you come here looking for healing? It is hardly the right place being a porn board.

Perhaps you need to read some of the many threads on abuse scattered about this "porn" board, maybe then you will glean some understanding.

 

[bobsgirl]

Curiosity made me open the link called "wading" and i think it is a good name. Why do abused people need to talk endlessly about the sordid things thag happened to them? Is it to feed the appetite of those aroused by things like that? And why do you come here looking for healing? It is hardly the right place being a porn board.

Alegra, it's so much more than a "porn board" (God, I hate that term). I think if you spend some time reading some of the threads you will see that. We talk about every subject under the sun.

 

[Quoll]

Alegra, it's so much more than a "porn board" (God, I hate that term). I think if you spend some time reading some of the threads you will see that. We talk about every subject under the sun.

See that's what I said, except you said it without getting cranky.

 

[bobsgirl]

See that's what I said, except you said it without getting cranky.

You should have seen it before I edited it.

How are ya, {{{pq}}}?

 

[Quoll]

You should have seen it before I edited it.

How are ya, {{{pq}}}?

Fortunately my apathy took over and the rant that was in my mind stayed there.
I've looked at her posting history and apart from clicking the link in Skye's sig, she has spent all her time at the gb so it's no wonder she has doubts, as would I. Hopefully as she explores lit she will begin to realise that the gb is just one of many neighbourhoods on lit.

I'm ok, just up and waiting for the nights aches and pains to subside.

 

[JustSkye]

Curiosity made me open the link called "wading" and i think it is a good name. Why do abused people need to talk endlessly about the sordid things thag happened to them? Is it to feed the appetite of those aroused by things like that? And why do you come here looking for healing? It is hardly the right place being a porn board.

Wow, someone is mighty judgemental.

Why do you feel the need to frequent a porn board and become rude where there was absolutely no need?

 

[JustSkye]

I love you guys

 

[JustSkye]

I won't let that happen...you are loved and cared for, my darling princess. Every worry you have is mine, every joy I feel with you. Please tell me when the shadows come, and I will be there to soothe you, hold you until the darkness passes.

i love you

 

[Le Jacquelope]

i love you

And you know me, I was there when it actually came. If you're in trouble, ya know who to call upon!

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I wasn't going to even consider posting in this thread until I saw this. I never had to deal with physical or sexual abuse. But both my parents were extremely adversarial, discouraging, and they overreacted at everything I did or said. And my folks were hypocrites as well as hyper-crites. I dealt with it by fighting back and being on guard 24/7. I had to hide most of the things I liked to do from them. (See: my .sig)

And then they got the last laugh, too. Mom got behind on bills because of her gambling habit, and I took out a $2000 loan to save her house. She promised to pay me back, then she died before she could, and now I'm stuck with that debt.
Is it wrong to hope that someone is burning in hell?

Man, it's been centuries since I posted this, as far as all the events that have gone on in my life.

I really feel bad about this post looking back at it... seeing as the house sold for more than was owed and it landed me quite an inheritance to boot. My mother actually laid quite a nest egg that I wound up investing a little cash in.

Now I piss $2000. Literally... two of our toilets probably cost over $2000 combined.

Jeez... if I knew then what I know now.

 

[JustSkye]

And you know me, I was there when it actually came. If you're in trouble, ya know who to call upon!

thank you, LT. And yes, you've always been a friend.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Damn, I remember coming to the aid of this woman when she was under serious attack and was on her knees emotionally on the GB.

Funny how this viper turned on me over something as trivial as my fake death prank.

Then again, she is from Texas. What else can you expect from the land of the low lifes?

 

[Quoll]

Damn, I remember coming to the aid of this woman when she was under serious attack and was on her knees emotionally on the GB.

Funny how this viper turned on me over something as trivial as my fake death prank.

Then again, she is from Texas. What else can you expect from the land of the low lifes?

Some people don't take kindly to having their trust violated.

I wont even mention the psychiatric ramifications of someone who finds faking their own death trivial or their constant need to dredge up past events.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Quoll, you're not trying to start shit are you! I'd hate to have to keep an eye on you ...

 

[Quoll]

Quoll, you're not trying to start shit are you! I'd hate to have to keep an eye on you ...

Moi, come now NM, when have I ever started shit, I may poke it with a stick now and then, or scrape it off my boots, but never start it.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Well it's a darned good thing, cause I ain't got but one good eye left, and if it had to watch you, I'd miss out on all the other stuff going on.

 

[VFaulkon]

I've posted on a thread like this before, but I thought I'd introduce myself here, if that's alright. (Going to anyway, but...)

I'm a 22-year-old male college student, hopefully about to graduate. To be honest, I never thought I'd been abused before this past year. I'd known about the different kinds of abuse, but I'd never linked it to my experiences. I've been going to therapy for some time now (for separate reasons), including group, but the subject never came up for me.

When I read a pamphlet on abuse and realized, "Hey, some of this seems really familiar. In fact...a lot of it does," I brought it up. I shared some stories from my family - how my mother and sister (the only close family I have) would talk beratingly about guys at the dinner table right in front of me, how I was always pressured to do perfectly in school, how they constantly reminded me that I was the 'man of the house', but was never respected because I was the 'baby of the family' (essentially all of the responsibility, but none of the power), how I was always expected to do more and more and more, etc. etc. ad infinitum - and I got more than a few raised eyebrows. Basically they all gave me the, "Wow, that explains a LOT" look.

I'd never thought of it as emotional abuse, and my family, aside from the noted exceptions above, are not malicious people and have never directly tried to make me feel like I was something worth less than who I am, if that makes any sense. But whether or not they meant to, whether or not they're even aware of it, my sister's constant torments (still ongoing to this day, and she's twenty-goddamn-seven) and my mother's neverending wave of criticisms, ALL of which they justify by saying, "Well, that's what we're supposed to do," has taken a toll on me over the years.

Right now I'm trying desperately to overcome this sense of 'scapegoating', as my therapist put it. I feel so responsible for everyone - EVERYONE, strangers and random passerbys included - and feel judged by everyone, which makes it hard to relax, lower my guard and be truly open with people. And I've tried, god knows I've tried...

I'm about to graduate college, which means I'm at a very stressful, very critical juncture of my life. While I have to move back with my family for financial reasons once I'm done, I'm at least confident I can keep my guard up around them so they can't do any more damage to me. I do feel guilty that I'm basically blocking them out - like I said, they aren't actively malicious towards me and probably won't understand why I'm doing it - but I'm willing to deal with that as the lesser of two evils.

The worst part is that, especially now, I really, really wish I had someone in my life that I could trust and rely on. I've dealt with loneliness for a long time, and now that I'm finally taking steps towards other people instead of avoiding them at all costs, I realize that the market for a real, stable relationship in college is...um...less than good, shall we say? And, as much as I'd like to believe otherwise, a 'just-for-fun' relationship with a real person isn't going to do much for me - I'm just not at the point where I can enjoy that for what it would be (mostly-mindless sex) and not want more out of it.

Online relationships, on the other hand, I can get behind. There's no physical intimacy, but the ability to stretch my imagination does help, and people are typically more open through a computer than they are in real life. One reason why I like this site so much. I had a very brief one with a Lit member who's since left, and she was extremely kind to me (probably good for me too). And the times we shared...whoo, mercy...


One last thing before I finish up. Alegra, in response to your question, abuse is something that's extremely difficult to overcome, sometimes even to recognize. I had to deal with it for almost twenty years growing up, and I didn't even notice it 'til a few months ago...and I'm not exactly an idiot.

I know why I repeat my stories, and I'm sure other people can agree with me on this: the stories are there, always on my back, except now I can see them and I know they're there. I don't want to forget them, because the moment that happens is when I stop making progress with my personal issues. By sharing them, it helps remind me, "Yes, you were abused. Yes, it isn't right that you went through this. Yes, there is some hope...but only if you keep moving forward." And if I'm really lucky, other people can get the same message by hearing my stories.

It doesn't matter if it's on Literotica, group therapy, or a table outside Starbucks (the last one's unlikely, of course) - if there are people who are willing to share their problems and trying to overcome them, and they're also willing to hear yours, it's my duty to myself that I make the effort and share. We can't truly fix each other, but we can support each other as comrades, and that in turn gives us the strength to keep pressing on.


And on that note, I wish all of you the best of luck. It's time for us to go kick some ass.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Quoll, you're not trying to start shit are you! I'd hate to have to keep an eye on you ...

Quoll is shit. What else can he start?

 

[Quoll]

Quoll is shit. What else can he start?

You came back to take me off ignore/view post?
Seriously?

 

[NippleMuncher]

Quoll, I have to ask, what is sleep depraved? Is that like a wet dream or more like, well, uh, you hump in your sleep?