Preferring Masturbation to Sex

[silverbeam44]

I enjoy both, but I must say I enjoy masturbation a little more than sex. And it is because I can control my own pleasure and generally I can take as long as I want. As I write this, I am gently and slowly stroking the shaft. It has been several hours, so I am building toward an amazing climax that I get to control myself. I'm having some pre-cum and the anticipation is building. Yes, masturbation can be better than sex, if you do it right. If only more people were willing to admit it.

 

[Hypnobitch01]

It almost feels taboo to write, but I'd rather masturbate than have sex. I know I'm not the only one out here, and I'd love to have others chime in. Sex is great for an emotional connection with another person, but masturbation has always been better for me, pleasure-wise. Maybe it's because sex is an orgasm I have to work for while also focusing on the pleasure of my partner, while I can be completely selfish when I'm pleasuring myself. I've never been with someone who has made feel like I didn't have to masturbate in addition to our sex life.

Mad props to you for being aware of what you need! If more people were more aware of their needs and desires I think the world would be a better happier place!

 

[CongenialSally]

I think both masturbation and intercourse can be viewed as being totally separate experiences. However, we can only reference this from our own emotional, physical and intellectual responses. Masturbation was a crucial gateway in terms of furthering my understanding of my own sexuality and personality. As well as fueling my knowledge of fantasy erotica. Which came mostly from reading books. So it can be said that masturbation, helps promote self confidence and self awareness.

It is only from understanding these aspects & characteristics about ourselves, that we are able to successfully approach deep conversations with subsequent partners. Having the ability to discuss our fantasies and ideas confidently & openly, helps form essential 'connections' in a relationship. Forming a relationship from this 'bedrock of strength' leads to better sexual experiences together. As I feel that with sex, it is the emotional & intellectual connection we have with one another, that drives a natural eagerness to want to please each other. Having the ability to discuss things during sex (and after) can also massively heighten the experience. Otherwise the act becomes emotionless, mechanical and somewhat inward looking. Which naturally leads to wanting less of it over time.

It seems simple, but I understand it is a difficult thing to do in practice.

That is why masturbation becomes appealing. As you can read something where you are able to emotionally immerse yourself. Therefore, you can control and pace your own pleasure based on your own specific needs. As no one knows your own mind & body like you do. So you can press as many or as few of your own 'arousal buttons' as you deem appropriate. Most of all it is convenient and 'personally tailored'

So overall, both masturbation and sex can lead to extremely satisfying orgasms. The preference depends entirely on the individual. So we have to bear all of these factors in mind when selecting a suitable mate in life.

We all want and deserve to be happy. And yes, Reading can help a lot.

Have a great day everyone. Sorry about the long post.

 

[Travler99921]

My wife and I loved the intimacy of having intercourse, however she seldom came from intercourse, and I did not have great orgasms. Over time we evolved to where I would perform cunnilingus on her, and then she would help me masturbate. She almost always had at least one orgasm and my orgasms were more intense. Sometimes she just wanted to watch me masturbate.

 

[desire30]

In the marriage, sex was viewed a majority of time by my spouse as about procreation. Sometimes it was outstanding (humbly, through my efforts), but most of the time it was less than satisfying.

With masturbation, I sometimes re-visit (through memory and porn) some really, really wonderful partners. Given the opportunity, I edge for a couple of hours and thoroughly enjoy myself by watching myself in a mirror and through a variety of toys. And the orgasms are mind-blowing. Although I miss a fully-committed partner, the trade-off is fine by me.

100% agree

 

[Soccerfanpen21]

It's not a preference but a damn close second.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

It's not wrong to prefer masturbation over sex, different things arouse us, or satisfy us, at different times. Nothing wrong with exclusively masturbating if that works for you. I've learned a lot about myself through masturbation, I wouldn't trade the time I spend alone enjoying myself.

 

[Wife4MMF]

 

[drobert44]

When she cant find cock......

 

[Matt12191982]

I guess. I've gone through a lot of tragedy in the last few years, and before that COVID really put another stop to a lot of things.. For me, having an orgasm is mostly just to relax my anxiety. I don't go out anymore, I work from home, and the longer it's been without having sex makes it even tougher to imagine. Nothing is going right in my life, so at times, masturbation is out of desperation, just to get a rush for a few seconds.

I really wish a place like this (you'd think would be more open-minded) wouldn't tell someone "Huh huh, that sounds desperate".. It's that type of shit that makes me want to retreat from the internet. I wish I could just shut my mouth, but this is my only communication, but I also hate snide comments.

And with masturbation, "it's sex with someone I love" and on top of that, there's technology to help enhance this, to get closer to what you want to see and hear.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

I guess. I've gone through a lot of tragedy in the last few years, and before that COVID really put another stop to a lot of things.. For me, having an orgasm is mostly just to relax my anxiety. I don't go out anymore, I work from home, and the longer it's been without having sex makes it even tougher to imagine. Nothing is going right in my life, so at times, masturbation is out of desperation, just to get a rush for a few seconds.

I really wish a place like this (you'd think would be more open-minded) wouldn't tell someone "Huh huh, that sounds desperate".. It's that type of shit that makes me want to retreat from the internet. I wish I could just shut my mouth, but this is my only communication, but I also hate snide comments.

And with masturbation, "it's sex with someone I love" and on top of that, there's technology to help enhance this, to get closer to what you want to see and hear.

It's not desperate, it's a great way to relax. Take the time to appreciate your body and explore your emotions and what arouses you. Don't worry about what others think. Things will get better.

 

[Dashabout]

It's not a preference but a damn close second.

it's a great way to relax. Take the time to appreciate your body and explore your emotions and what arouses you.

And it works all the time.

 

[BongoGal]

It's not a preference but a damn close second.

I can't even say that I prefer one to the other. As much as I've enjoyed good sex with a partner, I'd be lying if I said that I'd choose sex over masturbation if I were somehow limited to one or the other. Sex, especially monogamous sex, requires schedules and desires to be compatible for anything to happen. I want my hundreds of orgasms per year, not dozens.

 

[Ruff7]

If you masturbate too often and don’t have sex a lot you can get desensitized to the feeling of actual sex. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that unless it negatively effects your romantic relationships. At least that’s what Dr. Drew always said on Loveline.

 

[masterslave00]

When she cant find cock......

If she cannot find a cock, something else must be wrong with her...

 

[masterslave00]

If you masturbate too often and don’t have sex a lot you can get desensitized to the feeling of actual sex. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that unless it negatively effects your romantic relationships. At least that’s what Dr. Drew always said on Loveline.

What a load of bullshit...

 

[Bigaug]

when you get to a certain age, masturbation becomes very important, my wife and I agreed our goal is to cum, she needs several building up to a big one, I stroke while she uses a vibrator, we try to coordinate a huge orgasm together. We do foreplay before we get there, but we masturbate together a couple of time per week but also make alone time to masturbate, so 3 or 4 times a week we are masturbating. But again we also play before we get there.

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

I wouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. There's too much pressure for anyone to be in a relationship, or have a partner.
And sometimes we can find the right person for us emotionally but not mentally or physically.

I was in a 25 year commitment/marriage/yadda...I put so much shame on him for masturbating and watching porn that I am ashamed of myself now that he's gone.

Now, jump to the last few years... And all I do is lust for men who masturbate and freely watch porn

I also know masturbation can feel best alone. (With no other person IRL or wherever)

Unless you find someone that shares your kinks, fetishes, desires... Orgasms and pleasure won't feel best with them, IMO...

It's a natural thing to do, certainly as a teenager. I remember the time my mum caught me, and the talk from dad that evening. He just handed me some Playboy magazines and told me it was natural, but don't let your sisters or mum catch me. It was difficult when late at night and I heard them, the sounds of mum having an orgasm, triggered my own.

 

[LMWM321]

These days there are nights when my wife and I lie beside each other and masturbate - she w/ her suction toy. Sometimes, half-way through she'll say, "you can come on my breasts, if you like." Which is her way of saying, "Come on my tits! It helps me get off!" I'm not sure why she can't just say that, but I don't call her on it. I'm happy to oblige, of course.

For us the problem is that since menopause penetrative sex is often (but not always) uncomfortable for her - particularly since I'm extremely girthy (6.25", then entire length). My size has ALWAYs required a lot of warm up and oral foreplay, but since menopause there are nights where she just can't take me at all. ..So she'll either forgo penetration or will assign me "Dildo" duties using a much slimmer silicone dildo on her - syncing my pushes and pulls with how her body is responding. ..Honestly, it's made sex an even better bonding experience as it takes more listening and watching.

As for masturbation, we've watched so many Streaming shows - like Sex-Education, Fleabag, SITC, etc - that my wife understands very clearly that masturbation is normal and healthy. ..So being offended by a partner's need to do it is rediculous. These days, I'm quite comfortable telling her as I jump in the shower as she's climbing out, ''Don't talk to me for a few minutes, honey - I need to jerk off..." She takes no offense whatsoever. ..As I tell her, "Jerking off isn't my first choice, but since I want sex WAYYYY more often than you (seriously, I could do it 2x day), it's how I stay focused throughout my day w/out my mind constantly drifting to sex." And we've had similar convos about Porn. ..So long as it's ethical (ie., it's convincingly consensual, and mutually-enjoyed), she's totally fine with it.

 

[LMWM321]

As a related aside:

Anyone who insists on marrying someone who says they never masturbate will likely end up with either a liar or someone who has no libido; both spell doom for a marriage.

 

[Nekidinaz]

I do have sex and i enjoy sex,with both men and other women, but i openly admit i masturbate ,its something that ive been doing more and more in the last few years, surely we can combine both but at the moment i seem to be masturbating more than sex, i masturbate every day

You are not alone by any means...while I love having sex several times a week, and do not masturbate every day, I do masturbate several times a week, sometimes alone, other times in front of friends who enjoy watching me masturbate and still other times for friends watching me on Sky.pe. It's fun, sexy and feels good...what more can I say?

 

[PMarky2]

Good sex is better than masturbation, and masturbation is better than bad sex. As things currently stand, I do a lot of wanking.

 

[OtherwisePrint6210]

It's a natural thing to do, certainly as a teenager. I remember the time my mum caught me, and the talk from dad that evening. He just handed me some Playboy magazines and told me it was natural, but don't let your sisters or mum catch me. It was difficult when late at night and I heard them, the sounds of mum having an orgasm, triggered my own.

Yep, hard not be aroused when a woman in the next room is moaning!

 

[AnnaKahn]

It almost feels taboo to write, but I'd rather masturbate than have sex. I know I'm not the only one out here, and I'd love to have others chime in. Sex is great for an emotional connection with another person, but masturbation has always been better for me, pleasure-wise. Maybe it's because sex is an orgasm I have to work for while also focusing on the pleasure of my partner, while I can be completely selfish when I'm pleasuring myself. I've never been with someone who has made feel like I didn't have to masturbate in addition to our sex life.

For me it's the mental connection within me. It's like reading a book, and then watching the movie version. It's always better in my head. The masturbation and orgasm feels more exciting in my own head than when I'm with someone. Not to say I don't enjoy the sensations and experience of sex with someone.

 

[DirtyMarine]

Sometimes that’s the only way some of us are able to get release.