Privacy in a D/s Relationship

[sunfox]

Okay, though most of this is about IM/email, etc privacy... the comments about bathroom use and dressing struck me as kinda funny. Yes, I have a weird sense of humor.

I've often seen people saying that they're 'not allowed' to pee with the door closed, or get dressed in private.

I guess this is a me thing, but you'd have a harder time making me shut the door or get dressed in private than you would getting me not to. *laughs* So that always struck me as a useless attempt to control something that really just doesn't bother me.

Am I the only one who is so completely unconcerned with bodily privacy?

 

[FungiUg]

Am I the only one who is so completely unconcerned with bodily privacy?

No. I have a friend who starts stripping off on her way to the loo... let alone closing the door.

 

[graceanne]

Okay, though most of this is about IM/email, etc privacy... the comments about bathroom use and dressing struck me as kinda funny. Yes, I have a weird sense of humor.

I've often seen people saying that they're 'not allowed' to pee with the door closed, or get dressed in private.

I guess this is a me thing, but you'd have a harder time making me shut the door or get dressed in private than you would getting me not to. *laughs* So that always struck me as a useless attempt to control something that really just doesn't bother me.

Am I the only one who is so completely unconcerned with bodily privacy?

No, i'm like that too. I read about people who are uncomfortable peeing with other people around,a nd I'm totaly in the dark. But then I don't get most people's problems with nudity and other things like that. If I had my way I'd go naked all day every day, but unfortunately that's agains the law. *sigh*

 

[catalina_francisco]

If I had my way I'd go naked all day every day, but unfortunately that's agains the law. *sigh*

LOL, not everywhere.

Catalina

 

[sunfox]

No, i'm like that too. I read about people who are uncomfortable peeing with other people around,a nd I'm totaly in the dark. But then I don't get most people's problems with nudity and other things like that. If I had my way I'd go naked all day every day, but unfortunately that's agains the law. *sigh*

*laughs* That's exactly me.

I've never been able to understand why anyone would care if their PYL watches them pee. It annoys me when I'm in the middle of a conversation and have to go and he doesn't come with me to finish the talk.. I might lose my train of thought before I get done, after all.

Maybe we're just too sexy to be ashamed, graceanne.

 

[ownedsubgal]

*laughs* That's exactly me.

I've never been able to understand why anyone would care if their PYL watches them pee. It annoys me when I'm in the middle of a conversation and have to go and he doesn't come with me to finish the talk.. I might lose my train of thought before I get done, after all.

Maybe we're just too sexy to be ashamed, graceanne.

honestly it's not such a big deal for me either having Daddy watch me pee. but there are some things where a bit of privacy would be nice...not just other icky toilet stuff, but more mundane things like washing up or getting ready. i have my little bathroom routines and funny little habits and rituals, and before being owned those things were my own private things that no one else knew about. but now i'm with someone who knows how i comb my hair, how i brush my teeth, what order i shave in, that i put oxy on my pimples and wax the fine hairs above my lip, how i apply lotion, etc., because he's seen it all. even after nearly 5 yrs the embarassment and bit of shame i feel when he decides to watch me in these little bathroom rituals is still strong. so yeah, for me no privacy in the bathroom is a big deal.

i'm no fan of someone watching me walk around naked either. being nude during sex is one thing...there's something else going on for a distraction...but when i'm getting ready in the bathroom or just moving around about the house, i wish he'd let me wear a big, fluffy robe that covered every inch of skin from my neck to my ankles. looking at my own nude body is bad enough, knowing someone else is looking at it is just too much lol.

 

[graceanne]

honestly it's not such a big deal for me either having Daddy watch me pee. but there are some things where a bit of privacy would be nice...not just other icky toilet stuff, but more mundane things like washing up or getting ready. i have my little bathroom routines and funny little habits and rituals, and before being owned those things were my own private things that no one else knew about. but now i'm with someone who knows how i comb my hair, how i brush my teeth, what order i shave in, that i put oxy on my pimples and wax the fine hairs above my lip, how i apply lotion, etc., because he's seen it all. even after nearly 5 yrs the embarassment and bit of shame i feel when he decides to watch me in these little bathroom rituals is still strong. so yeah, for me no privacy in the bathroom is a big deal.

i'm no fan of someone watching me walk around naked either. being nude during sex is one thing...there's something else going on for a distraction...but when i'm getting ready in the bathroom or just moving around about the house, i wish he'd let me wear a big, fluffy robe that covered every inch of skin from my neck to my ankles. looking at my own nude body is bad enough, knowing someone else is looking at it is just too much lol.

LOL See none of that bugs me. Actually he's more into the privacy than I am. When we first got married it drove me crazy, although he's gotten more like me. But he was uncomfortable with me being in the room while he pooped and all, and I was like, oh for gods sakes. I'd just roll my eyes and leave him alone, but . . . I have to admit that recently I've had to start being a bit more modest (just a bit), cause of the kids. K and I feel that some personal hygene things that are inapproptiate around the kids (like putting in tampons). But I don't care if he sees me do all those things. Frankly, he wouldn't care if I wanted privacy though. It's not one of his things he likes to control. Although when doing research on BDSM and working on our 'rules' he did mention the being naked all the time things. He said 'Well, we can't really do that, not since you have our nephews so often, but frankly it's not like you'd care." I just laughed, and said "I'd love to be allowed to be naked all the time, andyou know it." He called me a perv.

 

[graceanne]

*laughs* That's exactly me.

I've never been able to understand why anyone would care if their PYL watches them pee. It annoys me when I'm in the middle of a conversation and have to go and he doesn't come with me to finish the talk.. I might lose my train of thought before I get done, after all.

Maybe we're just too sexy to be ashamed, graceanne.

LOL I know what you mean. I've sat on the toilet, or been washing my face, and had kenny come in so that I can tell him something, cause otherwise I'll forget. I mean for god's sake, some of the things we do in bed, peeing is minor for embarrassment reasons. lol I find it a hell of a lot more embarrassing to be pulled, naked, over his knee, and spanked.

And frankly, we rock! LOL Kenny thinks that me being so comfortable in my body is sexy. And know what? As long as he likes it, then it's sexy.

 

[graceanne]

LOL, not everywhere.

Catalina

Well, not everyone's lucky enough to live in Europe. I got stuck with America, and here you gotta fight just to NURSE in public. Believe me, you don't want to get me started.

* I want to state, even with what I said, that I'm proud to be an American, and if given a choice I wouldn't live anywhere else. Their's just some things that i like better about other countries. Their views on nudity, for one thing. *

 

[TigerClaw]

Well, not everyone's lucky enough to live in Europe. I got stuck with America, and here you gotta fight just to NURSE in public. Believe me, you don't want to get me started.

* I want to state, even with what I said, that I'm proud to be an American, and if given a choice I wouldn't live anywhere else. Their's just some things that i like better about other countries. Their views on nudity, for one thing. *

I dont know the views of many contries but I do know some of the European countries. We were taught we were modern and had the best science... Bullshit.

One major flaw we have is alcoholism. Its a desease, Right? No, it is a drinking disorder that can harm your liver. Who are the experts? The countries that have lived with alcohol all their lives/centuries or the countries that didnt have the great exposure they have had. Ok, I started, I am sorry. But at least I didnt bring up breast feedding. G, LOL.


We do have Nude beachs and clubs. So, I think if anyone wanted to really go for it they could.

Sunfox - I am torn on your statements. I LOVE your attitude and your SO's acceptance of it. It really made me think about the topic. I think the key here is the bond you and you SO have. It is wonderful.

 

[OregonGal]

im ok with being naked, as a matter of fact, i prefer it. my boyfriend is real big on bathroom privacy though so ive learned to at least push the door part way closed and such. We have full access to everything about each other but because of the way i was raised, out of respect for the other person, you dont open mail addressed to them and you dont get into thier purse or wallet. He was so use to his ex stripping his wallet of cash that he almost seemed annoyed when i would bring him his wallet because i needed cash. now i take the wallet to where im in in plain view before i pull out what I need, folding it back up and putting it away.

I dont even mess with his files on the computer, not because im not allowed but because its none of my business. If im curious about something ( and im generally a nosy person) then i just ask him about it. He has had to learn that not everyone is obsessively jealous and flies off the handle at stupid stuff.(again, his ex..)

 

[sunfox]

LOL I know what you mean. I've sat on the toilet, or been washing my face, and had kenny come in so that I can tell him something, cause otherwise I'll forget. I mean for god's sake, some of the things we do in bed, peeing is minor for embarrassment reasons. lol I find it a hell of a lot more embarrassing to be pulled, naked, over his knee, and spanked.

And frankly, we rock! LOL Kenny thinks that me being so comfortable in my body is sexy. And know what? As long as he likes it, then it's sexy.

C likes the way I am as well... he is probably the more conservative of the two of us about bodily privacy. Like osg, I have my weird little girly rituals when I'm dressing or getting ready to go somewhere, but I don't care if he watches.. I just care if he's in my way.. because I'm never less than a half an hour late with optimum conditions, and if he's in my way, I'll be even later

TigerClaw: Thanks.. C and I have a good bond together, and it's mostly just about communication. We're comfortable together, and I see those bathroom chats, and him sitting on the counter talking to me while I'm doing my hair or getting dressed as intimacy, not invasion. I like that time we spend together.. it's important to me.

 

[graceanne]

C likes the way I am as well... he is probably the more conservative of the two of us about bodily privacy. Like osg, I have my weird little girly rituals when I'm dressing or getting ready to go somewhere, but I don't care if he watches.. I just care if he's in my way.. because I'm never less than a half an hour late with optimum conditions, and if he's in my way, I'll be even later

LOL I hear ya there. I hate it when he gts in the way. I've got a ritual and I can get ready fast. I also hate being late, and it rarely happens. And if I am, it's normally cause he's running late. That man couldn't be on time to save his life.
K's a lot beter about the bodily privacy thing. I guess he's jsut gotten used to me being around. He still doesn't like it if i'm there when he's pooping, but with the smell he makes it's not normally an issue. lol I guess he says it makes him self consious and then he can't go. *shrugs*

 

[sexymom]

Does it Lose its Erotic Value?

My experience with bdsm began when i first married. In the early days, he had to remind me sometimes that I was supposed to be naked in his presence, or at least as naked as possible; and that I was entitled to no privacy nor modesty except what he allowed. I loved that feeling, but it seems that it is slowly becoming so natural that I don't notice it- and thus losing some of its value. I guess it's sort of like being nude in a nudist resort. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[TigerClaw]

There have been some women who have changed, done their hair and make up while I have watched. I have even helped in terms of holding their hair out of the way etc. I have had a closer bond to a woman like that. Most of the women I have met in the last 10 or so years have been like that, thankfully.

I dont see someothing like this as a BDSM topic unless the women is doing it only to submit. I see this as a wonderful sharing time. Except when he is run over by the woman going for the closet, perfume, hair stuff, etc. lol

 

[Marquis]

Re: Does it Lose its Erotic Value?

My experience with bdsm began when i first married. In the early days, he had to remind me sometimes that I was supposed to be naked in his presence, or at least as naked as possible; and that I was entitled to no privacy nor modesty except what he allowed. I loved that feeling, but it seems that it is slowly becoming so natural that I don't notice it- and thus losing some of its value. I guess it's sort of like being nude in a nudist resort. Has anyone else experienced this?

Yes, I went to Hedonism II in Negril once. The nude beach was cool, the nude party was even better, but once I got to the nude buffet it was getting old.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Spew alert

but once I got to the nude buffet it was getting old.

You do realize that straight line brought all kinds one-liners, other than the obvious reference to cocktail weenies, storming to the fore, correct?

Shall we start with fruits, or nuts?

 

[Marquis]

Re: Spew alert

You do realize that straight line brought all kinds one-liners, other than the obvious reference to cocktail weenies, storming to the fore, correct?

Shall we start with fruits, or nuts?

Why limit ourselves when we have a smorgasbord of choices.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: Spew alert

Why limit ourselves when we have a smorgasbord of choices.

Laughing hard.

Can we skip the smelly cheeses? Those would be just too easy.

One question, if you don't mind. Did you drive yourself to the resort, or take a rollercoaster-you-just-knew-would-end-in-disaster-after-spending-all-this-damn-money bus ride from the airport?

 

[Marquis]

Re: Re: Re: Spew alert

Laughing hard.

Can we skip the smelly cheeses? Those would be just too easy.

One question, if you don't mind. Did you drive yourself to the resort, or take a rollercoaster-you-just-knew-would-end-in-disaster-after-spending-all-this-damn-money bus ride from the airport?

I took the bus, and it was a ride I'll never forget. They made a stop for beer and ganja on the way, and I think by the time we got there the only one more wasted than the springbreakers was the bus driver.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

BOT

I took the bus, and it was a ride I'll never forget. They made a stop for beer and ganja on the way, and I think by the time we got there the only one more wasted than the springbreakers was the bus driver.

LMAO.

Before i die, i'm going back to

• rent a moped in Ocho Rios,
• take my life into my own hands,
• head northwest from beach to beach,
• and fuck on every one of them.

 

[Marquis]

Re: BOT

LMAO.

Before i die, i'm going back to

• rent a moped in Ocho Rios,
• take my life into my own hands,
• head northwest from beach to beach,
• and fuck on every one of them.

Don't forget to get sucked off on Dunn's River Falls.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Re: BOT

Don't forget to get sucked off on Dunn's River Falls.

Interesting ... a 600 foot moving blowjob down the terraces?

 

[graceanne]

Re: Does it Lose its Erotic Value?

My experience with bdsm began when i first married. In the early days, he had to remind me sometimes that I was supposed to be naked in his presence, or at least as naked as possible; and that I was entitled to no privacy nor modesty except what he allowed. I loved that feeling, but it seems that it is slowly becoming so natural that I don't notice it- and thus losing some of its value. I guess it's sort of like being nude in a nudist resort. Has anyone else experienced this?

That's the point. The human body is a natural and beautiful. I don't feel that the naked body should jsut be for erotic value. I think that to everyone looking at a naked body shouldn't be more than looking at a naked child playing. Yet, even there I get opposition. Someone might see my naked child *gasp* and lust after them. And aren't I worried that they'll be sexually promiscuous, because I didnt' teach them to be modest! It makes me so mad! There is nothing in the world wrong with nudity, there is nothing wrong with us being the way that God made us! And there is nothing in the world wrong with my kids running around naked!

I understand that the naked body is also for erotic value. There are things that you can do along those lines. I dont' believe in porn around kids or sex or anything like that. That's abuse. My husband and I have a lock on our door, and a lock on our toys. We protect the innocence of our children. K also is very careful about not being around them, nude, if he has a hard on or anything like that. (Frankly, K is rarely nude around them - he's not as comfortable in his skin as I am.) We teach them that you don't touch other peoples genitals or breasts things like that. We still teach personal boundaries. We don't let them be alone in a room with strangers, or with other children their age. Kids will get curious. But we don't teach them that their bodies are shameful and should be hidden, because they're not. They are beautiful and just how God made them.

 

[FungiUg]

Sorry GraceAnne, but I think we have too much culturation associating naked flesh directly with sexuality. Unless you can live completely divorced from the rest of humanity, you are going to run into that.

Blame the English. I do.