Question for those of you who are single...

[@}-}rebecca----]

Totally honest answer..........I wouldn't consider for myself anyone outside my criteria of the D/s 'gene pool'. I use the word 'criteria' with some purpose. I have quite exacting standards in regards to my own experiences and views of sincerity within D/s. If reciprocating factors emotionly for me can not be met initially I won't put that much of myself 'on the line' . Then there is this other 'thang' called charisma........hmmmmn

Nytemist what ever your choice I wish the best . Being open minded is a wonderful thing, just know yourself well first. If a persons inability to understand you from the perspective of a submissive is a 'deal breaker' then tread slowly and carefully

 

[catalina_francisco]

Do you think it would really screw you up emotionally if you happened to come across a person you'd like to start a relationship with, only to realise you don't fulfill each other sexually? Been there, done that. Ended things amicably and moved on. I don't remember any sort of emotional trauma for either of us.

Lucky for you then, but unfortunately, or fortunately, depending how you view it, I am a very emotional person who when they do get involved in a two way romantic relationship on serious terms, does actually give a lot of themselves in many ways....so my experience has been when it turns sour sexually it does cause a lot of heartache because I am also a highly sexual being but to be fulfilled I have to find someone who I am compatible with in both areas, emotionally and sexually, not just one. Even relationships I have known were doomed almost from the beginning have caused a lot of heartache and wasted energy when it came time to part ways, even those where I made the decision to end it. Emotions are a very funny thing and when they are real and become involved to make something more than just a bit of fun, it is not that easy to switch off overnight and move on unfazed. Of course many try, but they are usually the ones who end up carrying an excess of baggage they dump in the lap of their next partner.

If it were a matter of finding out before anything started, no, it wouldn't be a problem except in the last 10 years I found it just bothered me I had to get back to looking again, and especially when it was a vanilla person who I knew I had wasted time on thinking perhaps there was something more to be discovered when there wasn't. It did always annoy me I had wasted time as it took time to talk to them, get to know a bit about them etc., before meeting as I was not able to go out socailly to meet people...it worked much better once I was definaite about what I wanted and mentioned that before even talking, though there were always those who tried to pretend they fitted the criteria so to speak...usually ussed them out in one online conversation, but was still a waste of valuable time.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

Being open minded is a wonderful thing, just know yourself well first. If a persons inability to understand you from the perspective of a submissive is a 'deal breaker' then tread slowly and carefully

Never has the words "to thine own self be true" meant more.

What I see is that people surpress who they are to be in a relationship. They keep fundamental values to themselves because they desire a person. I believe that dating and socializing just for the fun of it is not a bad thing. Not everyone you date need be marriage or partner material.

And go with your instincts. And for Goddess' sake have fun!

Eb

 

[nytemist]

Just wanted to thank you all for the thoughtful responses, and in particular thank Geoff for the links (loved the car commercial!). Lots to think about here, which is a good thing.

Thanks again.