Rape as a Fantasy

[P. B. Walker]

I think you are missing the point of the discussion people. He (Marquis) is not asking about fantasy or "set-up" rapes.

My question is, how many subs out there have had this as a fantasy? Not play rape or scene rape or anything like that, but how many of you have actually wondered if you might like actually having sex forced on you by a stranger? Are there any of you that have ever tried to put yourselves into a situation to be raped?

A final and admittedly extremely controversial question; have any of you ever been raped and liked it?

He's asking if you would like to be REALLY raped. No holds barred, no planning, no control, at the mercy and whim of a stranger you (nor your friends/bf/gf/etc) have ever seen or known.

As for those things I pointed out UCE, those are all potential things that can occur, and I'm sure some more. I did not say that was a typical rape. I am in no way a rape expert... or hell a novice for that matter. As for the urine and defacation...there are a number of ways that can occur, fear, massive abdominal damage, death, etc. In many rapes, the actual sex part is less than half of what goes on. The beating is much worse.

Anyhoo... just wanted to clear that up.

PBW

 

[rosco rathbone]

I can't speak for the other side, but I have fantasies about stranger-raping women all the time. The beatings part is totally sexual.

 

[Cirrus]

UCE, you say that the types of injuries PBW describes rarely happen in rapes. On what do you base that?

And on an aside, what kind of sex play is it that you enjoy? I'm not going to pass judgement, but personally, what you deem acceptable scares the living shit out of me. It seems to me that you don't mind half killing a partner, or being half killed yourself.

Are you female? D, s, or switch? Just wondering...

 

[Guest]

Rape is a violent act of hatred and power. There's nothing safe, sane or erotic about it. A person who releases his need for power and control via sexual intercourse with out obtaining consent is a rapist and they create victims. This type of person is not a lover or a Dom. A rapist has no control or choses not to retain control over himself. Rape is a seriousact that can and does damage woman not just emotionally but often quit physically. Some women are ripped and torn and left scarred. Some women are killed.

This is not what women/men want. They want to relinquish control of their bodies and give the power to someone who is still in control of himself. This may include pain and humiliation but it does not mean that youu are allowing someone to actually victimize you.

Perhaps we should come up with a new term. Perhaps "forced sex" is fine. Any ideas?

Ok, I agree to that. What I want is to agree ahead of time to have forced sex at some not set, surprise time with my boyfriend. with conditions to stop given a certain time. Not total loss of control just the illusion of it.

 

[Guest]

oops, that last unregisterd post was me again. I forgot to change my name.

 

[Freya]

I'd think you'd have to be pretty high on the humiliation/pain/mental anguish side of BDSM to actually "want" to be raped for real, by a stranger. I think like someone said already, that most women's rape fantasies include the safety of your own bed, a tall, dark, handsome stranger who is clean, well mannered, good in bed, well endowed and with fresh clean breath - not being dragged to some remote location, being beaten or otherwise humiliated, fucked anywhere they want with no protection or lubrication, then dumped naked by the side of the road (just an example), by some scumbag that hasn't showered in 3 weeks.

And again, anyone who has experienced rape, and enjoyed it, would also have to be into that scene pretty deep - and I would suggest, needs a small amount of counselling.

 

[bunny bondage]

as a submissive female with rape fantasies, i would never want to be actually raped. the pain, the force, the sex, it all feels good only if i want to be with the person, if there's some emotional contact there. i think my opinion is pretty much the same as most others in that i would love it with someone i knew and trusted, but the real thing is something completely different.

 

[Marquis]

Thanks UCE, reading your posts was very interesting and it was posts like yours I was attempting to draw by starting this thread.

That said, there were a lot of intelligent posts about why "rape fantasies" are usually just fantasies which I appreciated as well because they offered an interesting perspective. However, I am fully aware that the rape fantasies most women are having are NOT a true desire to be raped, and I think that point has been made. I am interested in hearing from those people like UCE or others who I am sure are out there who think they might really like that. I also certainly don't think it helps encourage those people that have those opinions but may not be as strong-minded as UCE to post when people keep telling them how crazy they are. Its certainly not too common a desire, but thats what makes me want to hear about it!

One of the main questions I've been wanting to ask that I hoped would flow from this conversation is this: If you enjoyed it, would you be upset at your rapist? After all, whether or not you enjoyed it, his intentions were the same. I'm just curious as to how you or someone else who shares this fantasy might feel about that UCE. Also, do you think that you would enjoy being raped even if it were not arranged, but if "alls well that ends well" as they say (you weren't too hurt or anything like that)?

Finally, I want to say that I don't think that anyone here is trying to mitigate the horror of rape and I don't think anyone here doesn't understand what rape is, so I think posts warning about the dangers of rape or talking about how traumatic it can be are slightly out of place here. I am merely trying to learn about how a certain group of people feel, and I don't think there is any need to stifle their contributions.

 

[Bondagebunni]

as a submissive female with rape fantasies, i would never want to be actually raped. the pain, the force, the sex, it all feels good only if i want to be with the person, if there's some emotional contact there. i think my opinion is pretty much the same as most others in that i would love it with someone i knew and trusted, but the real thing is something completely different.

my opinion is pretty much the same... (don't even START with the bunny bondage / bondagebunni thing, it's played out, people!) I love the idea of it in my mind...but it's never with someone who would REALLY hurt me...I would never put myself in the position of actually being raped because you never know what could happen...and personally, i have no desire to die.

 

[morninggirl5]

I think most of the "rape fantasies" could be more accurately described as "ravishment fantasies".

The ravishment contains the loss of control, no chance to resist, but without the violence of a real rape.

 

[Freya]

It's very hard for me to comprehend someone that would actually want a stranger rape, but I'd be interested in hearing why.

UCE, you've obviously given this a lot of thought, and I sense that pain and humiliation in large doses are not alien to you. When you speak of setting this up beforehand, do things like lube cross your mind, or is part of it as much pain as you can take? I know you've said that being hit, punched, slapped etc don't bother you, as long as it doesn't put you out of commission. I'm just thinking that in cases of extreme fear, most women wouldn't be wet or excited, so you'd have that pain to consider and a man forcing himself violently into various areas could cause enough pain or damage to, if not put you out of commission, at least make you extremely uncomfortable for a few days. Or would that fear excite you?

 

[lark sparrow]

I think you are missing the point of the discussion people. He (Marquis) is not asking about fantasy or "set-up" rapes.

He's asking if you would like to be REALLY raped. No holds barred, no planning, no control, at the mercy and whim of a stranger you (nor your friends/bf/gf/etc) have ever seen or known. <snip>

PBW

I'm not sure what he is trying to imply or ask, but I certainly hope he is not looking for approval for an actual rape and finding it from UCE.

Directs this to PB as Marquis has heard enough from those squelching the enjoyment of rape.

 

[lark sparrow]

<snip>However, I am fully aware that the rape fantasies most women are having are NOT a true desire to be raped, and I think that point has been made. I am interested in hearing from those people like UCE or others who I am sure are out there who think they might really like that.

One of the main questions I've been wanting to ask that I hoped would flow from this conversation is this: If you enjoyed it, would you be upset at your rapist? After all, whether or not you enjoyed it, his intentions were the same. I'm just curious as to how you or someone else who shares this fantasy might feel about that UCE. Also, do you think that you would enjoy being raped even if it were not arranged, but if "alls well that ends well" as they say (you weren't too hurt or anything like that)?

<snip>I am merely trying to learn about how a certain group of people feel, and I don't think there is any need to stifle their contributions.

My concern is how could you possibly tell the difference between a woman who only fantasized about rape and one that actually "wanted" to be raped? You seem to be talking about an act that is not consensual, agreed to or planned. It seems almost like the "She was asking for it - yeah, I know she needed it." mentality in a way.

I doubt you mean it that way, but I still don't understand your perspective - if it's not strictly fantasy and it's not consensual, forceful sex or the horror of true rape - what is it? I will keep reading and try not to interject anymore though

 

[Marquis]

I'm not sure what he is trying to imply or ask, but I certainly hope he is not looking for approval for an actual rape and finding it from UCE.

Directs this to PB as Marquis has heard enough from those squelching the enjoyment of rape.

My comments and questions are not loaded in any way. There are no surreptitious ulterior motives in my asking these questions. The last thing I would ever want to do is really rape a woman and I am certainly not looking for some kind of approval. (Could you just see that in court? "But your honor, these people on this website told me a lot of women would probably like it, how was I supposed to know?")

My concern is how could you possibly tell the difference between a woman who only fantasized about rape and one that actually "wanted" to be raped? You seem to be talking about an act that is not consensual, agreed to or planned. It seems almost like the "She was asking for it - yeah, I know she needed it." mentality in a way.

I doubt you mean it that way, but I still don't understand your perspective - if it's not strictly fantasy and it's not consensual, forceful sex or the horror of true rape - what is it? I will keep reading and try not to interject anymore though

Well firstly I am not attempting to tell the difference between a woman who only fantasizes about it and one that actually wants it because I am not planning on raping anyone. I am merely asking opinions and perspectives.

As for your question about "what it is" I am talking about, I thought I had made it clear but I will elaborate since that obviously wasn't the case. There are two things that people mean when we refer to our "fantasies". Those things that are idealized concepts that appeal to us, and those things we strive for. Some things can be both. A sexual fantasy of mine is to have an orgy with several subservient women one day. While this is not likely to happen, it represents both a pleasent masturbation thought as well as something I would work towards if I thought there was a way I could get it to happen. Another fantasy of mine is to fuck a prostitute, but I would never actually want to do that for multiple reasons, so doing a prostitution scene with my sub more than suffices for the fulfillment of that fantasy. While I had long known of people who had rape fantasies of the second category, it was recently brought to my attention that there were those who had that fantasy in the first category as well. I became interested in hearing more of the rationale of the people who placed it in the first category and thus I started this thread.

Also, I want to say something about the tolerance for ideas on this board. Being a true Voltairean, I am tolerant even for intolerance, but I find it surprising in this environment. It seems to me that in making the argument that rape fantasies make undesired rapes seem ok you are also making the argument that BDSM makes abusive or controlling relationships seem ok.

 

[under where]

I see rape as horrible no matter how it's dished out. However, can it be called rape if you want it to happen? Isn't that consenting? I can definitely be wrong but that's how I see it.

 

[Bondagebunni]

I see rape as horrible no matter how it's dished out. However, can it be called rape if you want it to happen? Isn't that consenting? I can definitely be wrong but that's how I see it.

exactly...you can't be raped if you're willing...so it's more forced sex, right? i dunno...i could be wrong...*Shruggs* in fact, i prolly am...i'm always wrong...and i'm excessively hyper today so please excuse my babbling...weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Marquis]

Well, if you think to yourself "wow this is hot" or even only think that afterwards, but on the outside scream and cry and fight, you are certainly not consenting to anything. The person who is doing the raping thinks they are genuinely raping someone, and if you so desired you could send them to jail for a long time whether you liked it or not. Hence, rape.

 

[Freya]

Well, if you think to yourself "wow this is hot" or even only think that afterwards, but on the outside scream and cry and fight, you are certainly not consenting to anything. The person who is doing the raping thinks they are genuinely raping someone, and if you so desired you could send them to jail for a long time whether you liked it or not. Hence, rape.

I think though, that if you set it up ahead of time with a person, no matter how violent it is, or no matter that you don't know where or when it'll happen, you are still, in essence, agreeing to this act. So it no longer can accurately be called rape.

 

[Marquis]

I'm not talking about it being set up beforehand. Is no one actually reading my posts?

 

[Bondagebunni]

Well, if you think to yourself "wow this is hot" or even only think that afterwards, but on the outside scream and cry and fight, you are certainly not consenting to anything. The person who is doing the raping thinks they are genuinely raping someone, and if you so desired you could send them to jail for a long time whether you liked it or not. Hence, rape.

except if i kicked and sreamed and fought, he might give up and go away! And i might hurt him...i fight dirty

 

[Bondagebunni]

I'm not talking about it being set up beforehand. Is no one actually reading my posts?

lol...i think we're all ignoring them because the other topic is more interesting at the moment

 

[Freya]

I'm not talking about it being set up beforehand. Is no one actually reading my posts?

I am - but you also referred to UCE's post, in which she said that it would be set up ahead of time.

 

[lark sparrow]

I'm not talking about it being set up beforehand. Is no one actually reading my posts?

I am now reading that you are talking about your fantasy, that you rape a woman and she enjoys it, and that you want to discuss it with those who also enjoy that fantasy. As such, I will now shut up and leave the thread.

 

[Marquis]

I am now reading that you are talking about your fantasy, that you rape a woman and she enjoys it, and that you want to discuss it with those who also enjoy that fantasy. As such, I will now shut up and leave the thread.

LOL, are you just fucking with me or do you really think that?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'd think you'd have to be pretty high on the humiliation/pain/mental anguish side of BDSM to actually "want" to be raped for real, by a stranger. I think like someone said already, that most women's rape fantasies include the safety of your own bed, a tall, dark, handsome stranger who is clean, well mannered, good in bed, well endowed and with fresh clean breath - not being dragged to some remote location, being beaten or otherwise humiliated, fucked anywhere they want with no protection or lubrication, then dumped naked by the side of the road (just an example), by some scumbag that hasn't showered in 3 weeks.

And again, anyone who has experienced rape, and enjoyed it, would also have to be into that scene pretty deep - and I would suggest, needs a small amount of counselling.

I don't think that you are 100% right about this.