Rape as a Fantasy

[MissTaken]

Jumping into the thread a bit late

A scene involving consensual rape is very exciting for me as a submissive.

First, it epitomizes the D/s relationship in terms of who is in control and who is submitting. Rape, even ugly and destructive rape, is a crime of power, so taking the criminality out of it and using it in a consensual power exchange is exciting.

It doesn't even necessarily require a lot of planning. Returning home after an evening out, being thrown down on the bed, restrained, used and released....well, for me that is very exciting, whether or not I am allowed to orgasm.

Now, for him to arrange something more elaborate, kidnapping adn rape? Ahhhhh........

 

[crazybbwgirl]

There's something so deep and dark and dirty about the whole rape scene. My rape dreams always ends with me enjoying it against my will - God I love that part.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I would be very interested in hearing more about this scene you've got worked out. I know it's none of my business, so you can tell me to mind it if you like, but if you're inclined to share, please do -

you can email me via my profile with an "ok" or "no way".

The use of knives doesn't scare me as long as I know they're not going to be used ON me....and surgical cloth tape over the mouth sounds like another great idea.

I went so far once as to ask a pharmacist how to get a hold of ether. I was completely unsuccessful, and was directed to the "sleeping pills" section.

hope to hear from you either way...

take care!

Sorry! That user has specified that they do not wish to receive emails through this board. If you still wish to send an email to this user, please contact the administrator and they may be able to help.

I sent you a PM, send me your email addy and we'll see...

 

[sweetnpetite]

s&p:

"I-I'm I'm naughty." She said weekly.

Sorta getting to be a habit!

gee, guys, is that the only thing you noticed? what about the story itself?
btw, I corrected it again, but it will probably take a week or so before its up.

 

[gunner69]

re: "rape play"

MY thing is that rape is not a good thing in general. But to two concenting adults it could be good. I also have a wife who fantises about me "raping" her. Now I have tryed to and the extent to which she wants it is more than my consiounce can do. I was brought up to respect a woman and her desires. I would love to give her this experence. But just how can I go about it? And please don't give me that "just do it" bs. Also bear in mind that she is 11 wks. pregnent. Would that bother the baby? Would it be traumtic enough to bother it? And also, I've heard that the 2nd trimester is the one where women feel the most horniest. Is it better to wait till then. Where she will most enjoy it? We both love and respect each other. So with that in mind I DO NOT want to over step a boundry. We have ran the gamet of things (i.e., tying down, vibs, anal, and so forth) but this is one fantacy of hers I would most like to fullfill. If anyone can help w/ suggestions, please reply. TY much.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Re: re: "rape play"

MY thing is that rape is not a good thing in general. But to two concenting adults it could be good. I also have a wife who fantises about me "raping" her. Now I have tryed to and the extent to which she wants it is more than my consiounce can do. I was brought up to respect a woman and her desires. I would love to give her this experence. But just how can I go about it? And please don't give me that "just do it" bs. Also bear in mind that she is 11 wks. pregnent. Would that bother the baby? Would it be traumtic enough to bother it? And also, I've heard that the 2nd trimester is the one where women feel the most horniest. Is it better to wait till then. Where she will most enjoy it? We both love and respect each other. So with that in mind I DO NOT want to over step a boundry. We have ran the gamet of things (i.e., tying down, vibs, anal, and so forth) but this is one fantacy of hers I would most like to fullfill. If anyone can help w/ suggestions, please reply. TY much.

First off, don't do shit while she's pregnant!!

 

[RoughPlay]

Wide cloth surgical tape. It is made to go over skin.

Eb

Would a person be able to breath through this if it was over their mouths or would they have to breath through their nose ?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Would a person be able to breath through this if it was over their mouths or would they have to breath through their nose ?

That stuff is pretty gummy, I'm sure you can't breathe through it.

 

[RoughPlay]

That stuff is pretty gummy, I'm sure you can't breathe through it.

Hmm, so it sound like days with colds, hay fever, etc have to be avoided.

 

[Mstrskey]

Re: As much as I tried .. I can't keep my big mouth shut!

Advance statement:

a) I am not submissive
b) I have had rape fantasies - which makes me think most women, sub or not, have had them.
c) Try and do anything to me against my will and bear the consequences (trust me, you DON'T want to go there!)

That said...


Sorry - where are you getting that info from? Fantasy yes, but ALL women I know are very clear about it being just that - a fantasy, and never would they want it to happen under any circumstances they were not ultimately in control about or assured of the outcome of the scene and the preset limits it has to stay within.


And I bet if asked a bit further it would show that, yes, it would have to be someone disease free, good looking, washed and at least average hygienic, not too much older than herself (or younger or ...), without the whole affair resulting into any physical damage such as fractures, abbrasions and other unpleasant painful issues like knife cuts or a blown out brain thanks to a handy gun to avoid later identification in a court case. And of course we don't want to get pregnant by it either, right?

Plus - it will be a warm night in a cozy bit of the woods or any other semi-romantic place, no other witnesses to ever know about it, and the "victim" would feel turned on by this whole scene.

All this is how we imagine "rape" to be - truth is: no control to what happens, where it goes and how and when it ends. No way to stop it if it doesn't turn out the way we imagined. He may stink out of his mouth with yellow tooth stumps and not have washed in ages ... yummy pics to think about, right? Wanna give head to that baby? He may hurt you in ways that are not on your "love it when it hurts so good" scale at all, and when he is done you are left with pain, disgust and fear for long times to come.



Nothing to add to that! definitely no but, however or any other word that may sanction the issue!


Emphasis again on fantasy in the above paragraph, and in that I agree.


As stated above, I am not submissive but have had that fantasy as I woudl assume most women have - let's face it though: it is not about rape!!!! it is about being passive, being helpless, being "not guilty" for what is happening and thus ultimately free from the "sin of enjoying sex with a stranger". My fantasies were always "perfect" - good looking strangers, freshly bathed and clean, and doing to me miraculously just the things I would love them to do ... never fear to not live through it, never disgust, never pain and ultimately never any "afterwards" to deal with desease, pregnancy, humiliation as you have to make your way home in tattered rags, crying from the pain and shame.


I can only speak for myself but NO! definitely absolutely NO!


I have never had any even remote occurances in my life to resemble rape, never have I directly been subject to rape and I have not even ever had any encounters with being molested in any form, not even lightly.

Of the people I know who were less lucky I do not know a single one who came out of this tragedy without sever damage to their psyche and unfortunately a few with as severe damages to their bodies. I truthfully can say none wanted it and none enjoyed it.



Marquis, this statement against rape is not directed to you as a person - I just used your post as it offers some pointers to the "clichees" that seem to go around in many people's (men and women alike) heads. I was trying to not comment as I knew I had nothing nice to say, but rape - and specially rape in the BDSM-context - is a topic that irritates and irks me to no end.

Too many excuses have been made by selfprofessed Dominants under the guise of "all women secretly yearn to be raped" too much damage has been done to the reputation and understanding of our lifestyle by this, and too many fine women have had their lives destroyed by rape

There is no way ever that rape can go under the "mantle of BDSM". You can scene rape, you can scene non-consent, you can arrange for things to happen with strangers. But it then is not rape - it is then an act happening between consenting adults who are aware of what it is they are about to get engaged in.

Rape is not about sex, rape is about violence !!

As a woman who has been raped I avoided responding here for fear that my own experience might taint my answer but Hecate has very eloquently phrased what I think.

It is one thing to want to be " taken' or "ravished" by a stranger, but another all together to be raped. My rapist was not, clean or handsome. He did not find the artful mix of pain pleasure humiliation and control that seem to make this fantasy so popular. He was a pig. A hairy pig with horrible body odor who stalked me for weeks as I walked to the bus stop and then finally grabbed me, beat me, pissed on me, and forced himself inside me against a dumpster filled with rotting garbage. There was nothing sexual or fantasy inducing about it. I did not walk away from it with legs quaking from the passion of him " taking my body" I crawled away on all fours, bleeding from my vagina, my ribs broken, my sinus bone fractured, my eyes blackened and teeth knocked loose. I didn't go back to my bed later and masturbate at the thought of him forcing me to suck his cock as he called me deliciously naughty names. I crawled to a hospital bed where I vomited repeatedly and tried to scrub my skin from my body in the hopes of removing the dirty feeling. I didn't tremble at the thought of his hands on my body taking me to a secret place I dared not confess to wanting. No I trembled every time my brother, or my teachers, or my male friends would touch me because I was terrified of men. I didn't reach some new sexual platue. I was rendered sexually useless for years. Unable to enjoy or derive pleasure from intimacy.

Rape is the most shameful and humiliating experience anyone can endure and it is as hecate said, not a crime of passion,or of power or sex but rather of violence. For those considering it I would say that there are, there must be, other ways to feel that rush of either controlling or being controlled.
Rape, real honest to god true to life RAPE should not be any sane persons fantasy!

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: As much as I tried .. I can't keep my big mouth shut!

Rape is the most shameful and humiliating experience anyone can endure and it is as hecate said, not a crime of passion,or of power or sex but rather of violence. For those considering it I would say that there are, there must be, other ways to feel that rush of either controlling or being controlled.
Rape, real honest to god true to life RAPE should not be any sane persons fantasy!

I agree with an earlier poster who said these should properly be called "ravishment fantasies"
Most women who want this are thinking of the "bodice ripper" (cheap romance novel) fantasy of being taken and ravished by a handsome stud, or of being somehow "made" to perform sexually, but they generally don't think of it in terms of REAL violence
I've read some very interesting studies of women who seek being dominated sexually. They indicate that the reason (for instance) some women can't orgasm unless they're in bondage is that these women feel such a sense of shame & guilt about their own sexuality, they can only feel "free" to orgasm if they're being "forced".....the bondage lets them feel they're not in control, not responsible....so it's OK for them to get off, because they're not responsible. I think that's what's at play for some of the women who want to be "taken" or "ravished". Probably for some others it's an extension of the venerated romantic idea of being "Swept away" by a strong man that gets them going. More negative ideas taugth by romances & fairy tales
Another instance is some women who have such a poor self image that they seek abusive and controlling men (not necessarily dominants, I'm thinking of women who seek literally abusive men) becuase they think that's all they deserve. Someone with that sort of severe psychological inversion of self might find ultimate thrill in the idea of being hurt to the point of a "real" rape.

But I doubt any, as you say, SANE people want to go thru anything approaching what you went thru. I think this is another case of bad terminology that wraps up a whole area of stunted fantasy, wrong ideas about what rape is, foolish notions of romance, and a lot of other societal baggage about sex.

I imagine if little girls weren't filled with romantic BS, were encouraged to be free & happy sexually while given honest info about things liek sexual violence (boys too!), D/s and other sexual practices were more open & accepted so people could explore their sexuality safely, not only would this "fantasy" decline, but the real thing might as well.

IMHO, of course

 

[MissTaken]

Hmmm

I have read many of the same studies. As a submissive, I am supposed to have a poor self image and feel I am only deserving of abuse.

This is not true for me or many women. A woman who can openly embrace her sexuality, with kinks, without kinks is a strong and indepependent woman, regardless of what those kinks are.

As for romanticising rape, this may come as a surprise to many as I don't share some things on the board, but I have been raped once and sexually assaulted twice. All these things happened many years ago.

Now that being the case, no, I would never want a repeat performance of the rape or even the assault. Sex without consent is rape. Any sex with the SSC dynamics, violent or not, can be good and is not rape. So perhaps, a rape fantasy is a misnomer. I sort of like "ravishment fantasy."

In some ways, I believe a rape scene could prove to be the epitome of submission.

I also wonder, wouldn't non BDSMers view much of what we do as rape or sexual assault? Especially those who dont' understand the Safe, Sane and Consensual piece of philosophy and practice?

 

[James G 5]

Please note I said "SOME women" I know that's not true of ALL submissives, or even most
But I have met at least 1 who had that exact issue of only being able to let go when "forced" due to her other issues
And the poor self image women I mentioned weren't even in the context of submissives, but of those who seek ABUSE

And lots of the 'nilla sorts I speak to think of it in terms of beating and violence and dont' even necessarily think of the sex right away.....I heard a sub explain it to her friends in context of THEIR ravishment fantasies once and they sort of got it

Hmmm

I have read many of the same studies. As a submissive, I am supposed to have a poor self image and feel I am only deserving of abuse.

This is not true for me or many women. A woman who can openly embrace her sexuality, with kinks, without kinks is a strong and indepependent woman, regardless of what those kinks are.

As for romanticising rape, this may come as a surprise to many as I don't share some things on the board, but I have been raped once and sexually assaulted twice. All these things happened many years ago.

Now that being the case, no, I would never want a repeat performance of the rape or even the assault. Sex without consent is rape. Any sex with the SSC dynamics, violent or not, can be good and is not rape. So perhaps, a rape fantasy is a misnomer. I sort of like "ravishment fantasy."

In some ways, I believe a rape scene could prove to be the epitome of submission.

I also wonder, wouldn't non BDSMers view much of what we do as rape or sexual assault? Especially those who dont' understand the Safe, Sane and Consensual piece of philosophy and practice?

 

[MissTaken]

Yes, James,
I believe I understood that, but let my fingers do the talking!

*giggles*

I believe that many women in domestically violent relationships are actually submissives lacking direction, knowledge or resources.

NOt all of them begin with a low self image.

Then, I believe that some women who have not dealt with a history of domestic violence or abuse, seek out BDSM for the reasons you depicted.

And no, not all survivors of rape, domestic violence or child abuse who are submissives are struggling with healing, but those who haven't moved from victim mentality to survivor mentality adn on to "it's part of my history", may have some issues to dela with.

How did I get here?

I am bushed and probably should stay away from anything but fluff for tonight!

 

[sluttlywife6969]

re: rape

It is crazy to think that you can be raped and yet in some way enjoy forced sex. Not understanding why or how I could love the idea of a rape fantasy, I tell no one, till now.
I am totally sub, and love to be handled roughly, But it wasn't to many years ago when I was rape very brutally.
I will say the real life and the controlled roll play are truly to different things, at less for me.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Can we make an official announcement, renaming this "ravishment fantasy"? It is certainly more along what I have in mind when I talk about it.

 

[James G 5]

Can we make an official announcement, renaming this "ravishment fantasy"? It is certainly more along what I have in mind when I talk about it.

Hear, Hear!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Hear, Hear!

Fucking seriously...the more I think about it, the more I feel that the word 'rape' should have nothing to do with what most of us are talking about. It is demeaning towards those people who have suffered actual rape. It also mischaracterizes those of us who would participate in a ravishment scene. The scene I'm thinking of, is play-acting; it is an extreme situation, yet not about true violence or degradation. The subs who might be interested in a role-play of this nature do NOT want to be destroyed physically and emotionally; they want to bhave their limits pushed in a situation that only seems dangerous.

Is there any way to get the word out? Can we get rid of the word 'rape', when it applies to our fantasies?

 

[Mstrskey]

Excellent Idea!

as truthfully I think ravishment is what is had in mind all around here.
The subs in question, I think I can safely say that no matter what their pain, humiliation threshold, have no desire for a real rape.
The Doms well, I don't think they are the sort who have the mindset of rapists either. If they did no sane sub would trust them as they do.
Safe Sane and Consensual is the catch phrase here right?
Ravishment is. Rape is not!

BTW...I did not mean to creep anyone out with my post. I know I may have been a bit graphic, but I couldn't think of another way to convey the reality of the situation other then to put it bluntly.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Ravishment fantasy is exactly how I would term my 'dreams' - and when I say I would love to actually live thru it I've definately got the 'bodice ripper' scene in mind. But I WOULD love to talk a lover into doing it with me. Not really know exactly what nite he was going to creep into the house or exactly what he would do to me - yeah - god the anticipation alone would be enough to
drive me crazy!

 

[James G 5]

Ravishment fantasy is exactly how I would term my 'dreams' - and when I say I would love to actually live thru it I've definately got the 'bodice ripper' scene in mind. But I WOULD love to talk a lover into doing it with me. Not really know exactly what nite he was going to creep into the house or exactly what he would do to me - yeah - god the anticipation alone would be enough to
drive me crazy!

Here again being sure it's someone you could trust and who understood the game
An ex of mine got involved with a guy who drank & used drugs & wasn't involved in BDSM
She tried to convey some of her fantasies & desires to him and he attempted to act them out without really knowing how

He got wasted one night and decided to "surprise" her with her rape fantasy & ended up beating her black & blue, shoving foreign objects in her vagina, tearing the lining, and doing some other damage I wont' mentionhere, all the while choking her & threatening to kill her if she made noise......he had NO idea how to keep it at a safe level & the drugs impaired his reason
She eneded up needed a bunch of medical attention

So be careful what & how you ask for it & communicate THOROUGHLY and be REAL sure you know your partner
And use safewords! I did a rape scene with someone who'd been raped.....at her request! And she had to opt out of it with her safeword VERY early on because it brought back too much of the original trauma when I surprised her

Having said all that, done RIGHT, ravishment can be FUN
After all, Scarlet yelled at Brett & beat his chest with her fisst when he scooped her up

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I'm glad everyone is in agreement...you've got to be careful, and really understand the other person's emotional state and limits. A safe word is a MUST...

 

[Ebonyfire]

I did a rape scene with someone who'd been raped.....at her request! And she had to opt out of it with her safeword VERY early on because it brought back too much of the original trauma when I surprised her

I have found that there are many women and men who have rape in their past and have blocked it out. Sometimes participating in a scene will unblock them and their responses can be frightening.

 

[James G 5]

I have found that there are many women and men who have rape in their past and have blocked it out. Sometimes participating in a scene will unblock them and their responses can be frightening.

Yep
I've had a few things hapen where it's triggered memories people have wanted to forget
This's one of the reasons why I say a BDSM relationship demands more trust & communication than a 'nilla one, you're SO much more likely to walk in to a minefield in your partner's hands
And a good Top/Dom/me accpets not just responsibility for his/her sub's physical, but (to a point) mental & emotional health as well
It's a lot of work

 

[Ebonyfire]

Yep
I've had a few things hapen where it's triggered memories people have wanted to forget
This's one of the reasons why I say a BDSM relationship demands more trust & communication than a 'nilla one, you're SO much more likely to walk in to a minefield in your partner's hands
And a good Top/Dom/me accpets not just responsibility for his/her sub's physical, but (to a point) mental & emotional health as well
It's a lot of work

Yep, it is a lot of work! That is why I balk when someone says that being is Dom/me is just tying people up and beating them.