Real Time/Lifestyle Vs *Online* Dominants

[FurryFury]

of course not every teen knows themselves 'well' but i also know a lot of people in their 20's how don't know themselves very well. to me, age doesn't matter all that much when it comes to 'knowing' what one wants or likes. obviously we never stop growing and learning in life let alone the lifestyle. but to say that it's BS that an 18 year could say she's Been in the lifestyle for X amount of years, without anything to back that up because you don't really know the person, is just silly and judgmental to me. if you don't know someone's background who are you to make a judgment and call BS? ya know? and by the way that was a generalized 'you' and was not meant towards 'you' Fury *smiles*

I understand your view and I agree that a great percentage of 20 year olds don't know themselves very well either. This is why I counsel folks not to marry before 30 at the soonest.

The sad truth IMO is that many people go through life not questioning, and therefore not learning about themselves and a great many other things at any age, rather like sheep.

Fury

 

[Netzach]

I understand your view and I agree that a great percentage of 20 year olds don't know themselves very well either. This is why I counsel folks not to marry before 30 at the soonest.

The sad truth IMO is that many people go through life not questioning, and therefore not learning about themselves and a great many other things at any age, rather like sheep.

Fury

I'm with you on don't marry before 30.

And I absolutely knew who I was and what I wanted when I was 19. And 26. And I would have told you I am mature and an exception to the rule when I was 19.

It's not about being married, having kids, having a business or having responsibility at all. Those things aren't the mark of someone who knows what they want, as the vast numbers of 50 somethings I know with no idea who they are and what they want out of life will attest, with all the above.

Fortunately, I think I got an inkling about the instability of who I am and what I want by about 26. Now I just know that I don't know.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm with you on don't marry before 30.

And I absolutely knew who I was and what I wanted when I was 19. And 26. And I would have told you I am mature and an exception to the rule when I was 19.

It's not about being married, having kids, having a business or having responsibility at all. Those things aren't the mark of someone who knows what they want, as the vast numbers of 50 somethings I know with no idea who they are and what they want out of life will attest, with all the above.

Fortunately, I think I got an inkling about the instability of who I am and what I want by about 26. Now I just know that I don't know.

This, to me, is beautiful stuff.

*smiles*

Fury

 

[vMasteruk]

Online Domination

Can you really call yourself a Dom/me if you are just doing it online? (cause i dont think so)

I wonder what the point of this question is? To me it doesn't really matter what anyone choses to call themselves. What is that to me? Of course it is helpful if we use words in the same way so we can understand what others are saying, but I don't feel any need to judge myself by anyone else's standards or anyone else by mine.

I wonder if anyone who asks a question about 'real' doms or 'real' subs has a 'real' understanding of the scene! The scene is about exploring what you want to in the relms of fetish, domination and submission, pain and so on - it is a menu of things to pick from not a set menu.

I'm definately a real life person, and I have a real time BDSM relationship. When a relationship becomes full time you definately need different skills from playing on-line. But then there will be skills you need for online play you don't for physical play.

The key thing I'd say is not to go by what anyone calls themselves. Talk to them and find out their interests and experiance. If it matches what you want there's no problem. As for people who make exagerated claims for themselves online - well I don't think they are likely to be successful as people soon see through this.

 

[southernsky]

Netzach, I would really like to send you a PM so I can ask your advice on a personal situation, but your inbox is full!

 

[Netzach]

Now it isn't.

 

[misspihla]

My first thought after reading first post was: can you call yourself hetero if you only masturbate?

I dont know really. I have found bdsm circles to be very strict on labels. I always end up having to explain my submissive label since Im single, not looking and Im able to have a life on my own...

Anyways, I share the doubts towards people who call themselves Dom/mes without anything else than online experience. But then again I have doubts always without knowing the person.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... But then again I have doubts always without knowing the person.

This is EXCELLENT! *grins* Seriously. Online, anyone can claim to be anything. The proof, therefore, is in the pudding. Check references, watch for consistent behaviours, civility, courtesy, strength of character, integrity...

Make them prove they are who and what they claim to be. Until then, assume they are just horney net geeks looking for cyber-fantasy wanking material. Even me.

 

[the captians wench]

This is EXCELLENT! *grins* Seriously. Online, anyone can claim to be anything. The proof, therefore, is in the pudding. Check references, watch for consistent behaviours, civility, courtesy, strength of character, integrity...

Make them prove they are who and what they claim to be. Until then, assume they are just horney net geeks looking for cyber-fantasy wanking material. Even me.

This is a point my mom trys to make all the time. But honestly, how do you know that rich dr. johnson who you met at the bar last night is who he says he is? I think it would be just as likely for some one to lie to me when first meeting face to face as it would be for them to lie to me for months online, especially when you consider the chances that the person I met in the bar is trying to get me in bed.

but then, I really don't mind being wanking material in the first place.

 

[minx1]

This is a point my mom trys to make all the time. But honestly, how do you know that rich dr. johnson who you met at the bar last night is who he says he is? I think it would be just as likely for some one to lie to me when first meeting face to face as it would be for them to lie to me for months online, especially when you consider the chances that the person I met in the bar is trying to get me in bed.

but then, I really don't mind being wanking material in the first place.

Lol! so true. Even my ex husband wasn't who he said he was!

 

[FurryFury]

Lol! so true. Even my ex husband wasn't who he said he was!

Absolutely.

People misrepresent themselves in all sorts of ways all the damn time, nilla, BDSM, online, RL, you pick and there will be fakers.

Fury

 

[PrimalGirl]

I don't mind being used as on-line "WANKING MATERIAL"