Real Time/Lifestyle Vs *Online* Dominants

[Brosco]

I agree the experience is different and cannot fully be realized in an cyber chat unless you have some sort of real time to back it IMHO.

yes i agree you can be an inexperienced Dom and just need skill training and what i am suggesting is that skill training cannot solely come from online if you are to realize your full potential as a dominant.
I am not talking about a feeling inside i am talking about the complete package, and it seems to me if your only doing it cyber style you have not fully become all the dominate you can be or the full package dom.

Can someone at least agree with that?

Nope, I'm sorry that I still cannot agree with you.

Let me try again - being face-to-face does make many more options available, but they do not make one more dominant - just more variety in how the dominance is used. And it must be remembered, that just because those options are available - not everyone wants to use them.

 

[TheDivineMsM]

OK, this is knee deep in contempt. You are asking people to convince the almighty you of their domliness. You wonder why people are acting defensive, look at the way the original post was worded. People respond based on the words and the tone of a thread. This is also a subject that does get hashed out on here often, and many are dismissive of those of us who have come to this lifestyle on-line, so maybe we are a bit jumpy.

If you want to pick my brain as you said in an earlier post, you are free to PM me. But if you need me to convince you of the merits of my calling myself as a dominant, don't bother.




Ok i have been busy and havent been able to take you up on your offer PM and i fully intend to....


Maybe initially it did seem as if i was being contemptuous...i wasn’t and that wasn’t my goal. I am not the almighty just a curious women who i guess is very guilty of being too old school. I came about when cyber was mostly just sex and BDSM didn’t really that i know of, have a cyber only option.
i am also a little disgusted by the amount of subs who submit applications, who say i have been sub for x number of years but when questioned, they have been only cybering and are not comfortable or willing to go real time. so please excuse the initial convince me of your domme-ness was more a play on words than a challenge...kind like convince me your funny or whatever else you want to place in there.

Once things settle down in the next bit or so i will pm you....
But from what i understand you and rose are in a cyber hold till you can be together...right?

 

[FurryFury]

It sounds like to me what you are saying is that you get a number of applications from people who claim to be experienced subs. However, after investigating them you find that not only has all their experiences been without physical touch and on line but also they are not willing to try submission in real time/real life. Therefore for your purposes these people are misrepresenting themselves, are fake and are not what you are interested in. Okay.

The same people might well be what someone else is interested in though and that's okay too.

I would like to point out that online D/s doesn't have to include cyber. So when you use that word it can cause some misunderstanding of what online D/s can be. The two things can go together but they might not. As with all other areas of BDSM and indeed, personal relationships, there are many ways of doing that and many definitions of what it is, what is real and so on.

Cyber is to me, writing together with another about sex via IM. I once enjoyed that a great deal. One couldn't understand the appeal of it unless they did it, happened to love words and had a great and creative writing partner. I would have never understood it before I sort of fell into it.

Though I no longer cyber and do not consider it a part of my D/s, I won't discount cyber as being of no value because I can have sex or scenes skin to skin. It actually helped me a great deal and at times I miss it.

I have been approached by a number of people who called themselves Doms but who I would label fake. I didn't care if they were online only, like you seem to. I cared about how they approached things and how they didn't.

So I guess we are all just looking for good fits. What is your good fit might not be another's because we are all at different places in life and have different goals.

I don't mind being equal as Netzach said she did.

To you Netzach, I also don't mind saying, yes, you have more going on in the BDSM department. It makes me jealous. I love you and your posts. I admire you very much. I would love to join you!

Your personal ad was quite enticing to me but this is my life. It's a little screwed up. Mostly, I've made my peace with what I consider my best choices in it even though that means I'll be giving up some things I'd like to do.

Fury

 

[Brosco]

To: TheDivineMsM (love the nick BTW, Bette is a fave of mine)

I have been thinking about this thread a little more and feel I should make a little clarification here.

I did not find your first post to be judgemental or confrontational, in fact, it is not disimilar to the way I would post to seek information on a topic that I just didn't 'get'. I first ask the question, and then elaborate by stating my own preconception so that people understand the heart of what I am trying to get at. And yes, I too raise a few heckles because of my lack of diplomacy, but at times I have no idea how to raise the question or express an opinion shrouded in political correctness and still be sure that people understand specifically what I am getting at.

Having said that, I do feel that your responses to some of the explanations offered have been somewhat dismissive, as if you didn't really want to hear the explanations offerred.

Secondly, I think you set a very unfair challenge. You only wanted people with no face-to-face experience (have you noticed I hate the 'real life' phrase?) to debate and discuss with you - while you state you have both. It is like starting a debate about apples and oranges, and while you have tried both and prefer oranges, you only want to hear from people who have only tried apples and then must justify their singular choice. Bit unfair - don't ya think? If apples give them all they want - who are you suggest that they aren't fruit-eaters until they try oranges?

In a forum, however, anybody may respond regardless of 'conditions' stated, and all responses should be considered to help understand something that is beyond your thinking at the moment. That doesn't mean that you have to accept that it would work for you, just have tolerance it does work for others.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Ok i have been busy and havent been able to take you up on your offer PM and i fully intend to....


Maybe initially it did seem as if i was being contemptuous...i wasn’t and that wasn’t my goal. I am not the almighty just a curious women who i guess is very guilty of being too old school. I came about when cyber was mostly just sex and BDSM didn’t really that i know of, have a cyber only option.
i am also a little disgusted by the amount of subs who submit applications, who say i have been sub for x number of years but when questioned, they have been only cybering and are not comfortable or willing to go real time. so please excuse the initial convince me of your domme-ness was more a play on words than a challenge...kind like convince me your funny or whatever else you want to place in there.

Once things settle down in the next bit or so i will pm you....
But from what i understand you and rose are in a cyber hold till you can be together...right?

The PM Box is an open offer.

Rose & I are in a LDR. We use the phone and 'net as a means of communication.

I will be flying back for a week next month, which will be our third time together, and final get together before I move.

Maybe it was not intentional, but the wordings in your first post did come across very confrontational, which is why the responses were in kind.

 

[Life_Noir]

Yah know...One of the things that always bothers me...
There are a short ton of "repetitious threads"... But no one has a cow unless it is someone who is, in essence, asking a question that boils down to "Hey damn!!! The Emperor is butt ass nekkid!!!"
We just had two within the same damned month that were the basic repeat of "How do I make my partner adapt to something that I just decided I must have."
Both of which....And the multiple iterations thereof before... Are all full of pats and hugs...

On an only somewhat lighter note... So, Geoff... Shall we start that Dom certification school????
Possible qualifications for instructorship??? Years of "In the flesh" experience.. And demonstrated competence..

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Yah know...One of the things that always bothers me...
There are a short ton of "repetitious threads"... But no one has a cow unless it is someone who is, in essence, asking a question that boils down to "Hey damn!!! The Emperor is butt ass nekkid!!!"
We just had two within the same damned month that were the basic repeat of "How do I make my partner adapt to something that I just decided I must have."
Both of which....And the multiple iterations thereof before... Are all full of pats and hugs...

..

Those are the most irritating repetitive threads, IMO....

 

[Brosco]

Go through the archives. Seriously, how many 'unique' topics are there? The topics that keep re-occurring are the ones that people face - perhaps a discussion on obscure topics that relate to a tiny minority should dominate the forum?

If the topic has been 'done to death' to you - why not just ignore it?

Brosco

 

[Life_Noir]

Go through the archives. Seriously, how many 'unique' topics are there? The topics that keep re-occurring are the ones that people face - perhaps a discussion on obscure topics that relate to a tiny minority should dominate the forum?

If the topic has been 'done to death' to you - why not just ignore it?

Brosco

I find that I have developed a certain cynicism on the subject...But, if I had to guess... I would say that quite a few of us do...Once we see what that actual subject of the thread is...
I have often thought... And if I remember correctly, suggested at one time..
That what one should do is go through the BDSM threads and generate a book.. After all.... Think of how many years of cumulative "In the flesh" experience that post here on a relatively frequent basis.. Not to mention all the successful...And unsuccessful... BDSM relationships involved.
*sigh*
And it's not like the repetitious threads are asking A: anything new...Or B: Getting new and novel answers.. {Of course there is always the "library" thread...But no one pats you on the head if you just go read}

But... Part of my original post was more an observation of the difference in reaction to the subject matter of the threads... The objection to which is often couched in the fact that it is a "repeat"... If you are going to castigate one...Why then, lets make a party of it and castigate them all..

 

[Brosco]

I find that I have developed a certain cynicism on the subject...But, if I had to guess... I would say that quite a few of us do...Once we see what that actual subject of the thread is...
I have often thought... And if I remember correctly, suggested at one time..
That what one should do is go through the BDSM threads and generate a book.. After all.... Think of how many years of cumulative "In the flesh" experience that post here on a relatively frequent basis.. Not to mention all the successful...And unsuccessful... BDSM relationships involved.
*sigh*
And it's not like the repetitious threads are asking A: anything new...Or B: Getting new and novel answers.. {Of course there is always the "library" thread...But no one pats you on the head if you just go read}

But... Part of my original post was more an observation of the difference in reaction to the subject matter of the threads... The objection to which is often couched in the fact that it is a "repeat"... If you are going to castigate one...Why then, lets make a party of it and castigate them all..

I disagree. While many topics are repeated it is often with a slightly different slant based on a personal question or perspective. If its a topic of no interest to one, it will just be 'more of the same'. If its a question of personal interest, the subtle difference in the question will be noticed.

However, some that have no interest in the topic, instead of ignoring it, will castigate any that participate in the 'boring repeat'.

 

[Life_Noir]

I disagree. While many topics are repeated it is often with a slightly different slant based on a personal question or perspective. If its a topic of no interest to one, it will just be 'more of the same'. If its a question of personal interest, the subtle difference in the question will be noticed.

However, some that have no interest in the topic, instead of ignoring it, will castigate any that participate in the 'boring repeat'.

Oh I dunno..... I have the general urge, rather than to castigate, to laude praise on TheDivineMsM for having the balls to poke one of the sacred cows. One that most of us {who have been here for a while} could have told her would start a conniption fit.
{*lol* also praise....If for no other reason... than it has not a damn thing to do with either baked confections or chocolate genitalia of any sort.}
*shrug*
However....it rapidly approaches a degree of " *shrug*whatever"...

And so I relenquish this hijack... With apologies to the thread starter.

 

[Brosco]

Oh I dunno..... I have the general urge, rather than to castigate, to laude praise on TheDivineMsM for having the balls to poke one of the sacred cows. One that most of us {who have been here for a while} could have told her would start a conniption fit.
{*lol* also praise....If for no other reason... than it has not a damn thing to do with either baked confections or chocolate genitalia of any sort.}
*shrug*
However....it rapidly approaches a degree of " *shrug*whatever"...

Join Oct 2006 and 106 posts classifies you as being here for a while? ok.

You may have noticed ... I had no probs with TheDiveMsM's post - just a difference of opinion - is that ok?

Perhaps I have to exceed 100 posts and 3 months membership to qualify to express a different opinion?

Please Life-Noir - if you have an opinion not hedged in doubletalk about the subject, then please express it. If you have said it all before in another post and don't want to repeat it - by all means post a link to it. But if you are just here to criticise those that want to discuss the topic, and simply castigating those that want to have the discussion makes you even worse than anyone that adds substance to a boring repeat.

**smiles**... I look forward to a post of substance

 

[Life_Noir]

Join Oct 2006 and 106 posts classifies you as being here for a while? ok.

You may have noticed ... I had no probs with TheDiveMsM's post - just a difference of opinion - is that ok?

Perhaps I have to exceed 100 posts and 3 months membership to qualify to express a different opinion?

Please Life-Noir - if you have an opinion not hedged in doubletalk about the subject, then please express it. If you have said it all before in another post and don't want to repeat it - by all means post a link to it. But if you are just here to criticise those that want to discuss the topic, and simply castigating those that want to have the discussion makes you even worse than anyone that adds substance to a boring repeat.

**smiles**... I look forward to a post of substance

A post of substance.... Hmmmm
Well...Lessee..
As has happened before on this and other forums..*****_noir was not the name that I originally had on Lit... Like some others have done.. I removed myself from the boards for a while.. For reasons that, oddly enough had damned little to do with what was going on here...But a great deal to do with things that were going on in my own life.
*LOL*
TO tell you the truth... I don't even REMEMBER how long ago I joined the boards originally... Honestly... I would actually have to ask someone else..
Perhaps I'll PM Catalina or Francisco in the next day or so and ask em..

Now substance .... Hmmmm
How's this... I see no coherent reason why this should turn into an argument between the two of us... It annoys the other members and is frankly, just as pointless as all online arguments tend to be..
However...
While I am fond of a certain amount of wordplay... I am aware of no "doubletalk" in my posts...
I made the fairly simple observation that we get a lot of repeat threads..And no one cares unless they are poking a sensitive spot... Whereas the endless repetitions of other topics are greeted without rancor.
I could have stated it that simply... But then.. Where is the fun in that?
*grin*
And Yes, I DO admire the thread starter ...For exactly the reasons I stated previously...

And since in the end, this developed from a simply {if perhaps somewhat pithy} observation into a massive hijack of the thread... I decided to retire from it...Rather than to continue to the point of annoyance..

 

[Brosco]

A post of substance.... Hmmmm
Well...Lessee..
As has happened before on this and other forums..*****_noir was not the name that I originally had on Lit... Like some others have done.. I removed myself from the boards for a while.. For reasons that, oddly enough had damned little to do with what was going on here...But a great deal to do with things that were going on in my own life.
*LOL*
TO tell you the truth... I don't even REMEMBER how long ago I joined the boards originally... Honestly... I would actually have to ask someone else..
Perhaps I'll PM Catalina or Francisco in the next day or so and ask em..

Now substance .... Hmmmm
How's this... I see no coherent reason why this should turn into an argument between the two of us... It annoys the other members and is frankly, just as pointless as all online arguments tend to be..
However...
While I am fond of a certain amount of wordplay... I am aware of no "doubletalk" in my posts...
I made the fairly simple observation that we get a lot of repeat threads..And no one cares unless they are poking a sensitive spot... Whereas the endless repetitions of other topics are greeted without rancor.
I could have stated it that simply... But then.. Where is the fun in that?
*grin*
And Yes, I DO admire the thread starter ...For exactly the reasons I stated previously...

And since in the end, this developed from a simply {if perhaps somewhat pithy} observation into a massive hijack of the thread... I decided to retire from it...Rather than to continue to the point of annoyance..

Thank you for agreeing to retire since you have nothing of substance to add... I look forward to seeing the additions made by others that pertain to the topic... rather than one complaining about its existance.

Hopefully we will meet again on a thread that we both have an interest in.

 

[Netzach]

It sounds like to me what you are saying is that you get a number of applications from people who claim to be experienced subs. However, after investigating them you find that not only has all their experiences been without physical touch and on line but also they are not willing to try submission in real time/real life. Therefore for your purposes these people are misrepresenting themselves, are fake and are not what you are interested in. Okay.

The same people might well be what someone else is interested in though and that's okay too.

I would like to point out that online D/s doesn't have to include cyber. So when you use that word it can cause some misunderstanding of what online D/s can be. The two things can go together but they might not. As with all other areas of BDSM and indeed, personal relationships, there are many ways of doing that and many definitions of what it is, what is real and so on.

Cyber is to me, writing together with another about sex via IM. I once enjoyed that a great deal. One couldn't understand the appeal of it unless they did it, happened to love words and had a great and creative writing partner. I would have never understood it before I sort of fell into it.

Though I no longer cyber and do not consider it a part of my D/s, I won't discount cyber as being of no value because I can have sex or scenes skin to skin. It actually helped me a great deal and at times I miss it.

I have been approached by a number of people who called themselves Doms but who I would label fake. I didn't care if they were online only, like you seem to. I cared about how they approached things and how they didn't.

So I guess we are all just looking for good fits. What is your good fit might not be another's because we are all at different places in life and have different goals.

I don't mind being equal as Netzach said she did.

To you Netzach, I also don't mind saying, yes, you have more going on in the BDSM department. It makes me jealous. I love you and your posts. I admire you very much. I would love to join you!

Your personal ad was quite enticing to me but this is my life. It's a little screwed up. Mostly, I've made my peace with what I consider my best choices in it even though that means I'll be giving up some things I'd like to do.

Fury

Fury, you always struck me as someone who GOT it. You're very open about where you think your knowledge starts and ends, you're open about your frustrations, your interests, and you don't misrepresent yourself. I try not to do that either, I'm far from expert on so many things it's insane, and when I do meet someone who IS, in any venue, I can usually handle that.

It's analagous to something in the prodomme world. There are the people who come in, both guns abalaze, a TRUE and COMPLETE sadistic GODDESS at the age of all of 24 who no one's ever seen, and then there are people like me, who were always willing to say "no I'm not in her league- if you REALLY want to do this and you can see her, do that" about certain other professionals.

 

[TheDivineMsM]

To: TheDivineMsM (love the nick BTW, Bette is a fave of mine)

I have been thinking about this thread a little more and feel I should make a little clarification here.

I did not find your first post to be judgemental or confrontational, in fact, it is not disimilar to the way I would post to seek information on a topic that I just didn't 'get'. I first ask the question, and then elaborate by stating my own preconception so that people understand the heart of what I am trying to get at. And yes, I too raise a few heckles because of my lack of diplomacy, but at times I have no idea how to raise the question or express an opinion shrouded in political correctness and still be sure that people understand specifically what I am getting at.

Having said that, I do feel that your responses to some of the explanations offered have been somewhat dismissive, as if you didn't really want to hear the explanations offerred.

Secondly, I think you set a very unfair challenge. You only wanted people with no face-to-face experience (have you noticed I hate the 'real life' phrase?) to debate and discuss with you - while you state you have both. It is like starting a debate about apples and oranges, and while you have tried both and prefer oranges, you only want to hear from people who have only tried apples and then must justify their singular choice. Bit unfair - don't ya think? If apples give them all they want - who are you suggest that they aren't fruit-eaters until they try oranges?

In a forum, however, anybody may respond regardless of 'conditions' stated, and all responses should be considered to help understand something that is beyond your thinking at the moment. That doesn't mean that you have to accept that it would work for you, just have tolerance it does work for others.

Thank you very much....I do appreciate your constructive criticism.

 

[TheDivineMsM]

Oh I dunno..... I have the general urge, rather than to castigate, to laude praise on TheDivineMsM for having the balls to poke one of the sacred cows. One that most of us {who have been here for a while} could have told her would start a conniption fit.
{*lol* also praise....If for no other reason... than it has not a damn thing to do with either baked confections or chocolate genitalia of any sort.}
*shrug*
However....it rapidly approaches a degree of " *shrug*whatever"...

And so I relenquish this hijack... With apologies to the thread starter.

See that is it i had no idea of this being a scared cow issues with people...I was just more annoyed than anything...
I had no idea the backlash that i was in for. and i have found this whole experience kind of amazing really

 

[the captians wench]

See that is it i had no idea of this being a scared cow issues with people...I was just more annoyed than anything...
I had no idea the backlash that i was in for. and i have found this whole experience kind of amazing really

Have you ever done something that you were really proud of, something that you thought you were pretty good at and you just wanted people to accept your skill? But insted of accepting you, they tell you how much better their way of doing something is, and how your way just doesn't compair to theirs in the slightest?

That's what this conversation is like for those of us who have a dom that we primarily or even solely connect with online. We're always told that our opinions mean very little when it comes to bdsm.

Now I'll admit, I wouldn't take advice about floggers from some one who has not wheilded one on another person. There is so much difference between using one on some one else and using one on yourself. The angles are different, how you hold it is different, even the amount of forse you can put behind it is different. But when it comes to being able to submit, and being able to feel your dom's power over you, I believe it can be just as significant online as it can be in person.

What really annoys me is that because my Master is across the ocean people assume that I have no experience in the flesh at all, which isn't true. I won't voice an opinion on something that I have not experienced, but just because my Master is 3000 miles away, doesn't mean I haven't experienced things. Infact I've experienced a lot of things that he had never heard of before I mentioned them. But that's my petpev, and another subject.

 

[FurryFury]

Fury, you always struck me as someone who GOT it. You're very open about where you think your knowledge starts and ends, you're open about your frustrations, your interests, and you don't misrepresent yourself. I try not to do that either, I'm far from expert on so many things it's insane, and when I do meet someone who IS, in any venue, I can usually handle that.

It's analagous to something in the prodomme world. There are the people who come in, both guns abalaze, a TRUE and COMPLETE sadistic GODDESS at the age of all of 24 who no one's ever seen, and then there are people like me, who were always willing to say "no I'm not in her league- if you REALLY want to do this and you can see her, do that" about certain other professionals.

Thank you Netzach for your kind words. *smiles*

Oh yes, I see what you mean in your example. I'm that way about somethings as well. I'm always learning. I'm not afraid to say, when I don't know about something or at what level I do know it. I think a lot of folks are often afraid to say, they don't know. I think that limits them and keeps them ignorant of whatever it is.

Like you, I don't mind referring people who are trying to hire me to someone else who does what they want better particularly if it's something I don't specialize in or want to. I'm not a pro-domme though. Damn! Sometimes I wish I were.

Fury

 

[Countryboy1981]

Cause i dont want to start cussing her out....LMAO
I am trying to keep this civil....
and i am fucking sorry but at 18 you really dont have a clue yet...about much
let alone something as complicated as BDSM IMHO

I disagree with you 110%. Age has very little to do with it. People mature and grow at diff. rates. The way a person grows and matures depends on alot of things ranging from family history and background, group of friends your around, age you start having sex, along with the people and ages of those people you are playing with.

I am 25, A Dom and been in the BDSM lifestyle for most of my sexaul life. I got started alot younger than most (wont give age though). After a couple of years of "nilla" sex, I knew something just didn't feel right to me. I wasn't sure what or when but the act of norm sex wasn't leaving me fulfiled.

A year or so later I met up with an older woman (I always looked a great bit older than I was) and during our forplay she made a comment of "wow your a Dom". I didn't know what she ment, so I asked her and we talked for hours. She had been a submissive for a number of years, and she filled me in on BDSM, Dom/sub, etc.

That one night with her, where I could be myself and do the things that felt norm to me left me more fulfilled than the last 2 full years of sex before ever did.

She helped me to meet more people in the local BDSM lifestyle and I kept growing. All of this happened before I was "legal".

By the time I was "legal" I was 100% into the BDSM world, with great know how, skill, and understanding of myself, other Doms and subs. I knew all the diff parts of play, why I liked it, and how to do them right and safe. Everything from caning, fisting, flooging, E-stem with a few diff types of units, mind fuck, knife play, bondage of all types.

Heck in fact before I was 21 I had made a St. Andrews cross, bondage table, a couple of floogers, had over 200' of rope, 50' of chain, eye hooks, etc for play.

I never played with a woman that wasn't into BDSM atleast alittle after that point cause it just didn't do anything for me.

Now keep in mind when reading this.. I'm just 25 and most of this happened in my early to mid teen years.

With that said, It proves my point age have NOTHING to do with it.. Just depens on person and how fast they mature.. With myself I can tell you truthfully I knew who I was when I was 16.

Not everyone is like that though but that don't mean you have the right to make a blank comment like you did with out any fact to back it up.. That 18 year old person could have been like myself and knew from early own what they liked, who they were and got into BDSM early.

 

[TheDivineMsM]

I disagree with you 110%. Age has very little to do with it. People mature and grow at diff. rates. The way a person grows and matures depends on alot of things ranging from family history and background, group of friends your around, age you start having sex, along with the people and ages of those people you are playing with.

I am 25, A Dom and been in the BDSM lifestyle for most of my sexaul life. I got started alot younger than most (wont give age though). After a couple of years of "villa" sex, I knew something just didn't feel right to me. I wasn't sure what or when but the act of norm sex wasn't leaving me fulfiled.

A year or so later I met up with an older woman (I always looked a great bit older than I was) and during our forplay she made a comment of "wow your a Dom". I didn't know what she ment, so I asked her and we talked for hours. She had been a submissive for a number of years, and she filled me in on BDSM, Dom/sub, etc.

That one night with her, where I could be myself and do the things that felt norm to me left me more fulfilled than the last 2 full years of sex before ever did.

She helped me to meet more people in the local BDSM lifestyle and I kept growing. All of this happened before I was "legal".

By the time I was "legal" I was 100% into the BDSM world, with great know how, skill, and understanding of myself, other Doms and subs. I knew all the diff parts of play, why I liked it, and how to do them right and safe. Everything from caning, fisting, flooging, E-stem with a few diff types of units, mind fuck, knife play, bondage of all types.

Heck in fact before I was 21 I had made a St. Andrews cross, bondage table, a couple of floogers, had over 200' of rope, 50' of chain, eye hooks, etc for play.

I never played with a woman that wasn't into BDSM atleast alittle after that point cause it just didn't do anything for me.

Now keep in mind when reading this.. I'm just 25 and most of this happened in my early to mid teen years.

With that said, It proves my point age have NOTHING to do with it.. Just depens on person and how fast they mature.. With myself I can tell you truthfully I knew who I was when I was 16.

Not everyone is like that though but that don't mean you have the right to make a blank comment like you did with out any fact to fact it up.. That 18 year old person could have been like myself and knew from early own what they liked, who they were and got into BDSM early.

Point very well taken....
I thank you for your input!

 

[FurryFury]

I find very few teens know themselves or anything else very well. There are many teens that think they know themselves and just about everything else well though.

I'm not saying there aren't exceptions to the rule but that's just been my experience. I know I didn't.

Of course now they can focus on the shit they do care about such as sex earlier and perhaps know sooner, their particular kink.

Fury

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I find very few teens know themselves or anything else very well. There are many teens that think they know themselves and just about everything else well though.

I'm not saying there aren't exceptions to the rule but that's just been my experience. I know I didn't.

Of course now they can focus on the shit they do care about such as sex earlier and perhaps know sooner, their particular kink.

Fury

of course not every teen knows themselves 'well' but i also know a lot of people in their 20's how don't know themselves very well. to me, age doesn't matter all that much when it comes to 'knowing' what one wants or likes. obviously we never stop growing and learning in life let alone the lifestyle. but to say that it's BS that an 18 year could say she's Been in the lifestyle for X amount of years, without anything to back that up because you don't really know the person, is just silly and judgmental to me. if you don't know someone's background who are you to make a judgment and call BS? ya know? and by the way that was a generalized 'you' and was not meant towards 'you' Fury *smiles*

 

[lil_slave_rose]

See that is it i had no idea of this being a scared cow issues with people...I was just more annoyed than anything...
I had no idea the backlash that i was in for. and i have found this whole experience kind of amazing really

how could you not know? i mean you are basically coming on an ONLINE forum and saying that 'our' (those of us in an online only BDSM relationship) way of living this lifestyle is inferior to those who live it face to face. there are ALOT of people on this board who are in LDR's and a few who will never do it face to face and will remain online only. obviously it feels different to me when Master swings the flogger compared to when i do it myself, but that doesn't mean it's the 'wrong' way or 'less than' face to face. trust me i can make the flogger Hurt just the same as He can. and no, i'm not defending my relationship now, i'm just saying i don't understand how you didn't know this could be a 'sore subject' for some on an ONLINE forum......

 

[Brosco]

of course not every teen knows themselves 'well' but i also know a lot of people in their 20's how don't know themselves very well. to me, age doesn't matter all that much when it comes to 'knowing' what one wants or likes. obviously we never stop growing and learning in life let alone the lifestyle. but to say that it's BS that an 18 year could say she's Been in the lifestyle for X amount of years, without anything to back that up because you don't really know the person, is just silly and judgmental to me. if you don't know someone's background who are you to make a judgment and call BS? ya know? and by the way that was a generalized 'you' and was not meant towards 'you' Fury *smiles*

rose, I also agree. almost 40 years ago I indulged in what is now called D/s. Admittedly it started as a bit of bedroom bondage, but it very slowly and carefully progessed.

40 years ago we did not have the net or all the other amazing resources of knowledge and experience available today. If some people are hesitant to express their interests today, imagine how retarded we were way back then.

Many of us have had these feeling from a young age - back then we felt we must be weirdos - now we have the net and so a 16 y.o. exploring and reading about these feelings is not strange to me.

Sure, there is the rest of growing up and maturing that must be done, but accepting that a 18 y.o can be a somewhat experienced Dom in our modern world is not far from the realms of possibility for me.