rejection
- Thread starter Richard49
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sweetnpetite
Intellectual snob
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As a teen, I was terrified of it and wouldn't do anything to risk it. I think I had what they now call 'Social Anxiety Disorder'
When I started my first job, I was so afraid of people, I could barely talk to my own customers. The only reason I could was that the counter created a barier between them and me, making me feel somewhat safe.
I am much more outgoing now, but I still won't often go out on a limb. I avoid confrontation. I never feel that people have accepted me until I have been given lots of proof. I'm shocked when people I know refer to me as their 'friend' for the first time or too. I could never admit to someone (or even someone who would tell them) that I was attracted to them, even if they where clearly attracted to me. (Goes back to a tramatic event in Kindergarten, believe it or not!)
When people compliment me, I sometimes wonder if it's a vieled insult. (I got a lot of that in school)
I have all the same insecurities, but I hide them much better now.
When I started my first job, I was so afraid of people, I could barely talk to my own customers. The only reason I could was that the counter created a barier between them and me, making me feel somewhat safe.
I am much more outgoing now, but I still won't often go out on a limb. I avoid confrontation. I never feel that people have accepted me until I have been given lots of proof. I'm shocked when people I know refer to me as their 'friend' for the first time or too. I could never admit to someone (or even someone who would tell them) that I was attracted to them, even if they where clearly attracted to me. (Goes back to a tramatic event in Kindergarten, believe it or not!)
When people compliment me, I sometimes wonder if it's a vieled insult. (I got a lot of that in school)
I have all the same insecurities, but I hide them much better now.
sweetnpetite
Intellectual snob
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Re: Re: Rejection sucks...
Happy birthday!
Richard49 said:
Happy birthday!
A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Richard49 said:
I wanted to go back to your original post, Richard.
You are talking about rejection from total strangers, in an online forum.
For someone to piss you off or hurt your feelings you have to have invested some emotion into that person. You have to care about that person's opinion. The only people who can make me feel badly or whose opinion I give a wit about, are people who I have established a friendship with.
You know very well that there are lots of folks who have just surfaced from nowhere and contacted you or posted to you. Total strangers who now count themselves among your friends. Those people are the blessings in life.
Disregard the total strangers who, for whatever reason, have not taken the time to know you. Invest your energy in the friendships you can COUNT on. Those are the ones who matter.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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I think in issues of rejection, one of the best lessons I learned along the way was that what I saw as rejection often was far from it. I came to realise just as I suffer from depressions, time constraints, etc., so do others....it is often one or more of these issues which prevent me from contacting people I care for, or them contacting me, and then as time passes, sometimes faster than you realise, it becomes a matter of 'how do I explain, will they even believe me?'...and so it goes on.
Depression for one seems to be the biggest factor in my own interaction difficulties.....sometimes it is just a lack of energy due to the depression, other times it is not feeling secure enough to communicate with another I know is going through the same mood swings which will likely bring me down further, often it is just not wanting to inflict my state on others, or have to try and pretend everything is wonderful when I feel like crap. Many things in life are not as clear cut and simple as they might seem on the surface and it helps to keep an open mind and not just relate them to our own insecurities or how we would act in the same situation and presume the intent because we expect others are reacting as we expect we would.
Catalina
Depression for one seems to be the biggest factor in my own interaction difficulties.....sometimes it is just a lack of energy due to the depression, other times it is not feeling secure enough to communicate with another I know is going through the same mood swings which will likely bring me down further, often it is just not wanting to inflict my state on others, or have to try and pretend everything is wonderful when I feel like crap. Many things in life are not as clear cut and simple as they might seem on the surface and it helps to keep an open mind and not just relate them to our own insecurities or how we would act in the same situation and presume the intent because we expect others are reacting as we expect we would.
Catalina
catalina_francisco
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Richard49 said:
Sorry to hear you have had this experience, and know it is far from rare, but there is another possible explanation apart from clear cut rejection...if they had found a Dominant, perhaps it was on the orders of the Dominant they deleted your message and did not continue the communication they indicated wanting. As we all know, often Doms will do such things, especially if they feel threatened, insecure, or just want proof of the sub's obedience and devotion. It may have been the last thing she wanted to do, but as a sub felt she needed to do. Perhaps there were other reasons which had nothing to do with you, but much to do with her at that time. There may be many reasons.
Catalina
FungiUg
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Re: Re: rejection
That may be true for you, ADR, but for myself, a complete stranger "rejecting" me still hurts. It doesn't matter the source. Admittedly, from someone in whom I have invested time and energy and love... rejection can be devestating.
A Desert Rose said:
That may be true for you, ADR, but for myself, a complete stranger "rejecting" me still hurts. It doesn't matter the source. Admittedly, from someone in whom I have invested time and energy and love... rejection can be devestating.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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Re: Re: Rejection sucks...
Happy Birthday, Richard. We'll celebrate it many times again.
Richard49 said:
Happy Birthday, Richard. We'll celebrate it many times again.
A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Re: Re: Re: rejection
This is a place where you and I are different.
I have friends who I admit, I don't keep in touch with as I should and am sorry for that. Those are the people who matter to me. Some one, who I have never met or never chatted with, who does not respond to me just can't take up a lot of my time feeling bad.
Time and emotion are valuable to me. I won't waste them on strangers who, for whatever reason, "reject" me.
FungiUg said:
This is a place where you and I are different.
I have friends who I admit, I don't keep in touch with as I should and am sorry for that. Those are the people who matter to me. Some one, who I have never met or never chatted with, who does not respond to me just can't take up a lot of my time feeling bad.
Time and emotion are valuable to me. I won't waste them on strangers who, for whatever reason, "reject" me.
Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
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Re: Re: rejection
This is no excuse for bad manners
and poor morals
catalina_francisco said:Sorry to hear you have had this experience, and know it is far from rare, but there is another possible explanation apart from clear cut rejection...if they had found a Dominant, perhaps it was on the orders of the Dominant they deleted your message and did not continue the communication they indicated wanting. As we all know, often Doms will do such things, especially if they feel threatened, insecure, or just want proof of the sub's obedience and devotion. It may have been the last thing she wanted to do, but as a sub felt she needed to do. Perhaps there were other reasons which had nothing to do with you, but much to do with her at that time. There may be many reasons.
Catalina
This is no excuse for bad manners
and poor morals
A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Re: Re: Re: Re: rejection
And I'm sorry for you.
I guess it's a matter of priorities with me. Those I know and care about and count as my friends are the ones who matter.
Richard49 said:
And I'm sorry for you.
I guess it's a matter of priorities with me. Those I know and care about and count as my friends are the ones who matter.
Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: rejection
Please do not be sorry for me
I actually hate others pity
I have been told that my sensitivity goes back
to being a child of an alcoholic
others say it is a responds to the PTSD
I is what I is
and work daily to overcome and mange the parts I
do not like
A Desert Rose said:
Please do not be sorry for me
I actually hate others pity
I have been told that my sensitivity goes back
to being a child of an alcoholic
others say it is a responds to the PTSD
I is what I is
and work daily to overcome and mange the parts I
do not like
bridgeburner
threadkiller
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- Dec 5, 2001
- Posts
- 2,712
Snowy,
I don't know if this is exactly the same as what you're talking about but I'm really bothered by the kind of rejection you mentioned --- rejection from someone that I wasn't interested in who THOUGHT I was interested. Granted, I know it's childish of me, but it can really piss me off because I sense a kind of pity from that person or something.
Of all the insulting, humiliating things to think!
-B
I don't know if this is exactly the same as what you're talking about but I'm really bothered by the kind of rejection you mentioned --- rejection from someone that I wasn't interested in who THOUGHT I was interested. Granted, I know it's childish of me, but it can really piss me off because I sense a kind of pity from that person or something.
Of all the insulting, humiliating things to think!
-B
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