Rules for a submissive/slave - Any thoughts?

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Rules - Cont'd

In the context of 24/7, I actually found many of these reasonable. And during my time, I've had to do many of these, even be honest and upfront about any punishable offences I may have done that Mistress didn't know about or if she knew, didn't say.

I am feeling pretty much the same way reading them, Wyn. The list itself and the detailing of minor things that are often expected or develop doesn't turn me on at all, but if listing hundreds of rules is your thing - go for it. I can see why people are reacting the way they are, but I haven't seen anything in scanning through quickly that is utterly unreasonable in expectation of general attitude or specific action - particularly not in theory or goal. Mistress has a few broad rules that cover much of this, and much of it is self-evident - again, having a list of rules like this would do nothing for me personally, as I am capable of using my best judgement depending on circumstances, but I am still not shocked or in violent disagreement with anything I have read.

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Rules for a submissive/slave - Any thoughts?

i'll admit up front, i am in the mood to stir the pot a little.
In my never ending quest of reading, i came across some rules that were put together by a Dominant for His slave. There are 126 rules and i plan on posting them in sets of 20.


Seems like a lot of work to me. I personally would not be interested in working that hard. I have rules, but quite frankly I feel less is best.

I am with you .... when I first saw this list it was presented as a "check list" and/or point of discussion list for those who are new to the lifestyle or for newly forming relationships

I have found them very useful

makes one stop and think
and those that are new
often are not in the thinking mode

 

[s'lara]

*grins*

Oh dear..

i would fail eh lara?

Let's just say that kel would have a hard time in the sandbox. *soft smile*

 

[s'lara]

I can see why there are so many of these "rules", not only does the nape of the neck being exposed recur a few times, but other concepts or directions that are the same just repeated with different wording. I don't think Franco or Mussolini even considered such stringent fascism.

*laughs* so You're saying that those two leaders wouldn't consider number 26 as a daily ritual?

btw ... i like my food uncoated thankyouverymuch.

 

[Lady Kouka]

Welcome to the boards Lady Kouka!

*smiles* thank you basque, never could keep silent for too long *laughs*

 

[s'lara]

Re: Re: Cont'd Rules

Well, some of these I found a bit excessive, but there are a few that would probably be brought up during heart to hearts. Since I've never had a Master/slave relationship as is being portrayed, only a Mistress/slave one, I really can't say about the cock worship and the cum.

She's always wanted to have me pierced, and if I was, it would've been something I did with pride.

Wyn, you do your Mistress proud with your candor. Thanks for being so honest. *smiles*

 

[s'lara]

So far, I've been in agreement with everyone on the previous sets. #5, #9, #16.



This one, in particular, had me going "what the hell!" I guess I'm a stickler for safewords. There is no time in my life that a safeword cannot be used. Period. That is just me. If you can't deal with that...sorrry.

~Anelize

*a small voice from the back of the room sings out* Amen!

 

[s'lara]

Welcome to the boards Lady Kouka!

Good thing DDL and JD can't see You with the word "Virgin" attached! *winks*

hysterical ... won't be too long before that hits the chat room. Teasing all over the place.

 

[Lady Kouka]

Originally posted by s'lara *laughs* so You're saying that those two leaders wouldn't consider number 26 as a daily ritual?

btw ... i like my food uncoated thankyouverymuch.




I have to say that while no one issue is riduculous on the whole it is excessive, even a slave should have a safe word, even during punishment, the fact that He says there can't be one indicates to Me that He does feel pushing things beyond the realm of reasonable happens and will happen often often enough so that He does not wish to be bothered hearing the word He would ignore anyway, "for her own good"

 

[s'lara]

Re: Re: Rules for a submissive/slave - Any thoughts?

i'll admit up front, i am in the mood to stir the pot a little.
In my never ending quest of reading, i came across some rules that were put together by a Dominant for His slave. There are 126 rules and i plan on posting them in sets of 20.


Seems like a lot of work to me. I personally would not be interested in working that hard. I have rules, but quite frankly I feel less is best.

i agree to an extent. For me, a firm grip feels best so having lots of rules doesn't bother me. But i will say that to go this far with spelling things out takes away from being able to enjoy each O/other. Just my thought.

 

[redelicious]

The list so far seems a bit redundant. Couldn't the same thing be accomplished with fewer, but broader rules? Also it seems to me that this Dom/me has trouble differentiating between rules and rituals. Requiring a slave to be kept shaven is a rule, giving a slave a procedure for removing their clothes is a ritual.

 

[s'lara]

Re: Re: Re: Rules - Cont'd

lark - thank you as well for speaking plainly.

question - did the concept of not having a safeword bother you?

Wyn, feel free to chime in on the question as well.

I am feeling pretty much the same way reading them, Wyn. The list itself and the detailing of minor things that are often expected or develop doesn't turn me on at all, but if listing hundreds of rules is your thing - go for it. I can see why people are reacting the way they are, but I haven't seen anything in scanning through quickly that is utterly unreasonable in expectation of general attitude or specific action - particularly not in theory or goal. Mistress has a few broad rules that cover much of this, and much of it is self-evident - again, having a list of rules like this would do nothing for me personally, as I am capable of using my best judgement depending on circumstances, but I am still not shocked or in violent disagreement with anything I have read.

 

[s'lara]

i happen to agree with You. The idea of not having a safeword does not sit well with me.

There were some rules, IMO that were beyond anything i would be willing to do. Then again, there were some that had their appeal or that i have done. As Richard Sir said, the list is contradictory in it's presentation.

Originally posted by s'lara *laughs* so You're saying that those two leaders wouldn't consider number 26 as a daily ritual?

btw ... i like my food uncoated thankyouverymuch.




I have to say that while no one issue is riduculous on the whole it is excessive, even a slave should have a safe word, even during punishment, the fact that He says there can't be one indicates to Me that He does feel pushing things beyond the realm of reasonable happens and will happen often often enough so that He does not wish to be bothered hearing the word He would ignore anyway, "for her own good"

 

[WynEternal]

Re: Re: Re: Cont'd Rules

Wyn, you do your Mistress proud with your candor. Thanks for being so honest. *smiles*

Thanks. We are no longer in a D/s relationship, but I still have great respect for her as a friend.

 

[s'lara]

Rituals vs. Rules

The list so far seems a bit redundant. Couldn't the same thing be accomplished with fewer, but broader rules? Also it seems to me that this Dom/me has trouble differentiating between rules and rituals. Requiring a slave to be kept shaven is a rule, giving a slave a procedure for removing their clothes is a ritual.

Red, you brought up a good point. Some of the "rules" were ritualistic in nature.

Would these be more acceptable if they were rituals?

 

[WynEternal]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules - Cont'd

lark - thank you as well for speaking plainly.

question - did the concept of not having a safeword bother you?

Wyn, feel free to chime in on the question as well.

Actually, I don't think I was bothered about the no safeword during a punishment. Since the dynamics of that particular relationship are not known to me, I can't say what punishments he would give.

Through our (Mistress and my) relationship, during our many heart to hearts, we've spoken about many things and punishment was one of them. Some of the things that came up were what would I mentally be able to handle (she knew that corpral punishment with yardsticks would put me back into the days of my childhood and could have me blubbering within seconds or have me huddling in fear in a closet).

I think during the whole time, I was punished with a caning only once, and that was ten strokes with her holding and comforting me afterwards. Come to think of it, I don't think I made it past five. All other was more in the realm of mental rather than physical. I would be in isolation or the corner for a length of time and made to write out my thoughts.

Punishment to me was something done within the limits of my capabilities to handle, whereas the safeword is to safeguard against pushing those limits too far.

As thurough as that list is so far, I think that severity of punishment for wrongdoing would be discussed prior.

 

[s'lara]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules - Cont'd

agreed. btw ... i think isolation is the toughest punishment.

Actually, I don't think I was bothered about the no safeword during a punishment. Since the dynamics of that particular relationship are not known to me, I can't say what punishments he would give.

Through our (Mistress and my) relationship, during our many heart to hearts, we've spoken about many things and punishment was one of them. Some of the things that came up were what would I mentally be able to handle (she knew that corpral punishment with yardsticks would put me back into the days of my childhood and could have me blubbering within seconds or have me huddling in fear in a closet).

I think during the whole time, I was punished with a caning only once, and that was ten strokes with her holding and comforting me afterwards. Come to think of it, I don't think I made it past five. All other was more in the realm of mental rather than physical. I would be in isolation or the corner for a length of time and made to write out my thoughts.

Punishment to me was something done within the limits of my capabilities to handle, whereas the safeword is to safeguard against pushing those limits too far.

As thurough as that list is so far, I think that severity of punishment for wrongdoing would be discussed prior.

 

[Pure]

//59.my Master will decide what my sexual orientation will be. I will commit myself to His decision and perform as such only in His presence and only with His permission. //


Among all the boring and repetitive stuff, this one I find interesting since it's uncommon in what posters have said (as to rules they follow or enforce) in this forum.

Here's another thought. Wouldn't any half way intelligent master get pretty bored with a slave who patterns of behavior was so set?

 

[s'lara]

Next Set of 20

61.Pain and pleasure shall be with me always - in my thoughts and fantasies.
62.my limits do not have to be respected - i trust my Master.
63.i have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved slave.
64.i will endure whatever pain my Master gives me when he disciplines or punishes me so i can become a better slave for Him.
65.i will work on building up my tolerances to the level i feel is necessary to please my Master, but i will be careful not to push myself further or faster than i am ready to endure or adapt to.
66.Through discipline and punishment i shall learn to behave.
67.In bondage i am made free.
68.i will never touch my breasts, nipples, pussy or clit with my hands or sex toys without permission from my Master except to wash them, shave my pussy, adjust my breasts as i fit them into clothing, or to attach my rings.
69.Only through submission can i find my true self.
70.my life is empty without a Master (or Mistress) to please.
71.Just the thought of me being in the presence of my Master or hearing His voice gives me strength.
72.i will give all that i am when i am in the presence of my Master in order to become free.
73.i must never show disrespect for my Master in any way - no matter where i am - in his presence or not.
74.Crying and the shedding of tears for my Master during punishment is good and expected for it softens my will and bonds me closer to my Master.
75.i am always in complete submission to my Master.
76.The needs of my Master are more important than my own.
77.i must be attentive to the needs of my Master and always be ready to respond to them to the best of my abilities.
78.i am allowed to suggest ways to further my training or use of me as long as i address my Master properly first.
79.i must always respond fully both physically and verbally to whatever my Master does with me. Expressions are important to Him.
80.i must always feel sexual - i am a sexual being.

 

[Pure]

Ho hum, repetition. The lazy wanker just wrote out a bunch of jumbled thoughts and numbered them 1. to 126. Would not have passed 10th grade English.

 

[s'lara]

Repetition and Gender

Depends on the Dominant Pure. i think there are Dominants out there that need to have these many rules (or similar rules). Then again, there are some, like Ebony, Who make it clear that it is way too much.

Some have posted that broad/general rules should be sufficient. i tend to think that is the way to go although i don't mind having rules. Also, the heart to hearts that Wyn mentioned would also be a must.

As for determining my sexuality ... it is doubtful that i can be made to desire one gender over another. However, if the Dominant wished that i went there with another gender ... well, that is best left to my own thoughts.

//59.my Master will decide what my sexual orientation will be. I will commit myself to His decision and perform as such only in His presence and only with His permission. //


Among all the boring and repetitive stuff, this one I find interesting since it's uncommon in what posters have said (as to rules they follow or enforce) in this forum.

Here's another thought. Wouldn't any half way intelligent master get pretty bored with a slave who patterns of behavior was so set?

 

[Lady Kouka]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules - Cont'd

[/i]
Actually, I don't think I was bothered about the no safeword during a punishment. Since the dynamics of that particular relationship are not known to me, I can't say what punishments he would give.

Through our (Mistress and my) relationship, during our many heart to hearts, we've spoken about many things and punishment was one of them. Some of the things that came up were what would I mentally be able to handle (she knew that corpral punishment with yardsticks would put me back into the days of my childhood and could have me blubbering within seconds or have me huddling in fear in a closet).

I think during the whole time, I was punished with a caning only once, and that was ten strokes with her holding and comforting me afterwards. Come to think of it, I don't think I made it past five. All other was more in the realm of mental rather than physical. I would be in isolation or the corner for a length of time and made to write out my thoughts.

Punishment to me was something done within the limits of my capabilities to handle, whereas the safeword is to safeguard against pushing those limits too far.

As thurough as that list is so far, I think that severity of punishment for wrongdoing would be discussed prior. [/QUOTE]


That is a good point, providing there is an open communication between the Dom/me and submissive then the relationship cn remain healthy and continue to grow. I may be way off base here, but it looks like the only communicating is from Him to her.

 

[Pure]

On rule 59 S'lara said,



//As for determining my sexuality ... it is doubtful that i can be made to desire one gender over another. However, if the Dominant wished that i went there with another gender ... well, that is best left to my own thoughts. //

Oh. I read #59 in a slightly different way. This M, when not checking to see if his undies have been folded properly, gets to say whom (and what sex) the slave fucks, etc.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rules - Cont'd

lark - thank you as well for speaking plainly.

question - did the concept of not having a safeword bother you?

Wyn, feel free to chime in on the question as well.

On the concept of safewords in general, I think they are very important to most people and useful tools of communication which should be utilized in whatever way works best for the parties involved. However, I also have to say that I personally don't have a safeword as such from Mistress. I can speak my mind freely, using plain English meaning exactly what is spoken, rather than a codeword, and I trust Mistress will heed my input. It's worked for us from the beginning - over a year and a half. Some people wouldn't feel comfortable with this and I highly encourage a set of safewords in that case.

I have used "red (stop immediately, scene over), yellow (approaching limit, please check in) and green (yes, I like that alot - more!)" as mutually agreed upon safewords in sceneing with someone new before and although I didn't use any of them I felt it was an excellent safety net for both of us, as we didn't know eachother intimately and did not plan on a progressive relationship beyond the scene itself.

 

[s'lara]

On rule 59 S'lara said,



//As for determining my sexuality ... it is doubtful that i can be made to desire one gender over another. However, if the Dominant wished that i went there with another gender ... well, that is best left to my own thoughts. //

Oh. I read #59 in a slightly different way. This M, when not checking to see if his undies have been folded properly, gets to say whom (and what sex) the slave fucks, etc.

i see, i read that the other way. and btw ... i was drinking pineapple juice when i read your post and almost sprayed the keyboard laughing at the undies comment.