Rules for a submissive/slave - Any thoughts?

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Next Set of 20

LOL, you got me!

Well ya know, I am submissive so that supposedly means I lack in self worth.

Your point about the difference between rituals and rules was a good one and led me to think about perception. "My life is empty without you" sounded awfully familiar lol. Anthems tend to be overstated, particularly when classified as a "rule" of D/s.

 

[kayte]

Welcome to the boards Lady Kouka!

Good thing DDL and JD can't see You with the word "Virgin" attached! *winks*

s'lara ~ Thank you for starting this thread. The conversation and thoughts that are shared are very valuable.

Lady Kouka ~ Nice to see you. I imagine it was the spreading of your current title throughout the ether that brought chat down for a bit this after noon.

basque ~ Were you the bearer of the news?

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Rituals vs. Rules

Well, it's not that I don't accept most of them, I just question the need for every minute detail of a slave's life to be broken down and set forth as a rule, but then again I don't really have a slave mentality. Seems to me a confident Dom/me wouldn't have the need for such micromanagement.

It was not the indent of the person who made the list for every rule to be accepted by everyone
but rather
to go over them and pick and choose
but most of all
to talk

 

[redelicious]

Re: Re: Re: Rituals vs. Rules

It was not the indent of the person who made the list for every rule to be accepted by everyone
but rather
to go over them and pick and choose
but most of all
to talk

Actually, Richard, I understood that from your earlier post. Still, I find that some of the rules are a bit much.

 

[His_sugar]

basque ~ Were you the bearer of the news?

Nope, not me kayte.. haven't been in for a while..

hope you are having a good weekend...

 

[s'lara]

It is interesting that you do not have nor do you appear to want a safeword in the confines of your relationship with your Mistress.

While i understand the need you and your Mistress have to clearly communicate and use empathy with each other, i am still of the mind that a safeword is essential in a D/s, M/s, etc. relationship. Not having a safeword does not mean the relationship cannot exist, however, to my way of thinking, it is a basic tenet of a D/s, M/s relationship and something i personally would not do without.

I don't particulary like how much of this is worded as well, but to the same end, I have not been given a safeword, nor have I requested one - it's essential that we clearly communicate, and use empathy with one another.

Mistress clearly cares about my well-being and is aware of my limits. Our relationship is built upon a mutually satisfying and evolving power exchange which we (as separate individuals and as a partners) experience as safe, sane and consensual - although I have the given right to express myself freely, Mistress has the last word and final decision-making power in all areas of our (continuing) D/s relationship.

There is also clearly the same rule that applies to all consensual, "healthy", adult relationships - if there is a major conflict which impacts the relationship in an overtly negative way and cannot be resolved through compromise to each parties overall satisfaction, She has the right to withdraw Her domination and release me, and I also have the right to withdraw my submission and walk away.

It would have to be in the spirit of the first category, the second wouldn't work for me at all. Good point, Quint.

 

[s'lara]

i plan on posting the link for the 126 when i am done providing the remainder of the list. As for the rules you posted below, i don't believe them to be extreme other than what i would be not be willing to do.

I was looking for these rules on the 'net and came across a Master John claiming to have a list of 128, which he developed and he's copyrighted.
No link was working to the "126".

In the process, though I found these, since we're dealing with
slightly obsessive and detail-minded self-said dominants:

=====
Some minutiae for discussion:
http://www.bdsmu.com/page_slave_standard_punishments.html

[There are twelve basic rules, basically around sexual availability and exclusiveness.]

Nighttime Ritual: slave yielding will remember that each day has been a new opportunity to become a better slave, that each night prepares her for a new day, and that her duties do not end at bedtime.
When Master Stern indicates He is ready for bed, slave will facilitate the procedure by gathering any necessary items, checking lights and locks, and turning back sheets & blankets on Master's bed.
slave will ask Master where she will be sleeping. Master Stern will either indicate He wishes to have her in His bed, on a pallet, or directly on the floor. slave will ready her "area" when necessary.
slave will sllep in the nude and be available for sexual service throughout the night.
slave will verbally wish Master Stern a "goodnight."
Except in emergency, slave will not rise during the night or in the morning without securing Master Stern's permission.

Punishments: Master Stern will use any of the following punishments at His discretion, but is not confined to this list: (Some items assume slave's good physical condition for implementation)
Paddling: white paddle applied with severity the offense warrants
Washing slave's mouth with soap
Forced exercise in front of Master Stern.
slave kneels with mouth around doorknob for a period of time
extra chores
slave stands at attention for a period of time
slave restricted from computer use (72 hour minimum): Master Stern will password computer.
writing journals or repeated sentences by hand ( 5 page minimum)
multiple enemas
cold water shower under Master's supervision
isolation :assumed position out of Master Stern's sight
holding dime to wall with nose
food restrictions
television restrictions: Master Stern will set parental controls.
temporary silence, with or without gag
long-term "figging"

 

[s'lara]

Re: Re: Re: Next Set of 20

We don't know the exact dynamics of this relationship. Oftentimes, before I became 24/7, when not in the presense of Mistress, there was a certain emptyness; a hole that needed to be filled. I'm sure that there were times when I was missed too.

It doesn't have to mean that their life is without meaning, just that the devotion is noticable.

Looking at this one baldly without reading too much into it, it does appear to read that her life does not have meaning without a Master or Mistress. i did not read it as anything other than that.

Yes, there is a sense of being incomplete without the ability to serve, but i agree with red in saying that it is a little sad. Sad in that it is disheartening to hear it.

 

[s'lara]

Re: Re: Re: Next Set of 20

Do you think we sometimes get too hung up or a bit defensive when viewing these things within the scope of D/s?

How many 'nilla songs say "My life is empty without you, babe." Hardly offensive when we're singing along and thinking about 'nilla lover.

Different context. i personally wasn't offended by this. Again, i think it is sad nonetheless. As with a nilla relationship, it is still tough to hear someone say their life has no meaning without someone else. We all know that may not be the case and when expressed in song or by the lovelorn, it isn't meant to be taken literally.

Some of you have expressed thoughts about the "ultimate" surrender and as subs/slaves, we know surrendering on that level is very different than the surrender which takes place in a nilla relationship.

So when a slave utters those words, i take it very seriously because he/she have given over quite a bit more. Having been at that end of the spectrum, i think it tough to disregard such a statement which obviously has an unhealthy outlook.

 

[s'lara]

s'lara ~ Thank you for starting this thread. The conversation and thoughts that are shared are very valuable.

Lady Kouka ~ Nice to see you. I imagine it was the spreading of your current title throughout the ether that brought chat down for a bit this after noon.

basque ~ Were you the bearer of the news?

Most welcome kayte. Some of the thoughts posted in the thread have certainly made me think. *waves*

 

[Pure]

Hi S'lara

you said, about M. Sterns rules


As for the rules you posted below, i don't believe them to be extreme other than what i would be not be willing to do.

I don't find them too extreme either, except maybe the punishment of multiple enemas. What struck me though was that Stern was very detail minded, like your author of the 126.
Stern even gets into the saying of 'goodnight.'

Do you think one can get caught up in too many details?

Another question, suppose there's a lot of ritual, like the 126 man and Stern like. Mightn't that tend to result in a kind of playacting? Mightn't ' real' domination and submission tend to disappear?

 

[s'lara]

Next Set of 20

Again, please pardon some of the language and explicitness of the following rules.

These are certainly specific and delve deeper into personal preference of the Author.

Question - Are any of the following out of the question for Y/you (Dominant or sub/slave) or standard requirements?
___________________________________________________

81.i must always remember how pleased my Master is when others delight in my sexiness as a result of my ability to show off my assets.
82.my behavior must always be sexual.
83.The only clothing i will wear will be those items which fit my figure and accent all of my bodily features.
84.i may at times offer various parts of my body to my Master in hopes He will take pleasure in using them in whatever ways He wishes. my only hope will be that my offering will please Him. If not, i want Him to punish me.
85.If my Master uses me to make love with - i will aggressively respond.
86.If i wish to be my Master's toilet (for pee only) i shall gladly give my body to Him to pee on, my cunt for Him to pee into, my cupped hands to Him to fill with His pee from which i will drink from, my food for Him to anoint with His pee, my salad dish for Him to squirt His dressing onto, my glass for Him to fill
with His special wine. I will open my cunt and stick out my tongue for Him to wipe the head of his cock on after He has peed. I will lift my breasts to him in hopes He will splash me with His pee. I will hold up my bucket to be filled with His pee for Him to rinse me after a shower or to use to wash me. i will honor His pee with the same honor i have for His cum.
87.In His presence i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission. Even on my period i must be available to Him for His use. If i have agreed to serve Him bisexually and a female slave has been assigned to tend to me while i am on my period i will allow her to take care of me even if she has been directed to feed upon my pussy with her cunt while
kneeling beneath me with my legs spread apart. If i am to attend to another female slave on her period - i will do so as according to my Master's instructions- even if it means I must cup my cunt tightly to her pussy to feed myself when she is flowing. Such a feeding will be considered as one of my meals for that day.
88.If i have agreed to be a toilet (for pee only) for my Master and I have agreedto serve him bisexually - i will cup my cunt tightly to the selected female slave's pussy who needs to pee and drink from her - hopefully without spilling.
89.If it is possible to practice my basic attire in my household i will do so. Upon entering my household i will remove my clothing immediately and put my collar on, my rings (if i have them), and my highest heels.
90.i will always sleep in the nude - kneeling first before I enter my bed and kneeling first as soon as i get out of my bed for it is a great privilege to have a bed to sleep on.
91.i must never tighten my body when it is being whipped, caned, cropped, slapped, paddled, belted, strapped, spanked, bullwhipped, or anally or vaginally pumped. My Master likes it when my flesh jiggles and He knows that when I tightened my body it hurts more.
92.i am proud to wear upon my body the marks given to me by my Master. i know that my Master will never mark me permanentl, but i will gladly suffer for Him so he can mark me with the stripes he wishes to decorate my body with for His viewing pleasure.
93.i will always listen with a strong interest in what my Master has to say during my training. i want to learn all that i can from Him so i can understand more about Him, about me, about the SMBD scene and community and about what is happening to those around me who are involved in dominant and submissive
relationships.
94.When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when I have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master's house - i can only be dried off by
Him whipping me dry.
95.When i walk, sit or stand i will do so with such great confidence that others around me will admire my performance.
96.When standing still i shall do so with my feet and legs together, my hands held behind my back and my head bowed down. i will remain silent in the way He has taught me.
97.my pussy plug must be inserted deeply into my pussy when I arrive at my Master's house.
98.i will lick my Master's body dry after He has come out of the shower.
99.i shall proudly wear the initials of my Master on my right upper ass cheek to signify that He owns me and that i am a slave.
100.When sitting i shall sit up straight with my legs together and my hands palms down on the top of my thighs.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Rules and Rituals add dimension to a D/s relationship...I am a big believer in the structure of rules but must say this list I cannot take seriously..not even seriously enough to do more than scan them.
It must be next to impossible for the slave AND the Master to remember each and every one of them without a cheat sheet up their sleeve!

 

[Pure]

The 126 Master said

86.If i wish to be my Master's toilet (for pee only) i shall gladly give my body to Him to pee on, my cunt for Him to pee into, my cupped hands to Him to fill with His pee from which i will drink from, my food for Him to anoint with His pee, my salad dish for Him to squirt His dressing onto, my glass for Him to fill
with His special wine. I will open my cunt and stick out my tongue for Him to wipe the head of his cock on after He has peed. I will lift my breasts to him in hopes He will splash me with His pee. I will hold up my bucket to be filled with His pee for Him to rinse me after a shower or to use to wash me. i will honor His pee with the same honor i have for His cum.
87.In His presence i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission. Even on my period i must be available to Him for His use. If i have agreed to serve Him bisexually and a female slave has been assigned to tend to me while i am on my period i will allow her to take care of me even if she has been directed to feed upon my pussy with her cunt while
kneeling beneath me with my legs spread apart. If i am to attend to another female slave on her period - i will do so as according to my Master's instructions- even if it means I must cup my cunt tightly to her pussy to feed myself when she is flowing. Such a feeding will be considered as one of my meals for that day.

I must say the man's thorough. Pee service isn't talked about in these parts, but I've found it an excellent sign of submission; degradation, yes, but erotically so.

The menstrual service is something I haven't seen in that way, though, again as a test and sign, providing oral service to a menstruating mistress seems apposite.

"to feed upon my pussy with her cunt" seems like a misprint for
'to feed upon my pussy with her mouth.'

Also, later
'i will cup my cunt tightly to the selected female slave's pussy' presumably means 'i will cup my mouth tightly...."

It's nice to see this verbose master has a bit of imagination, though it's as if he's a frustrated author of porn more than a rule maker, quite often.

 

[Pure]

Mr. 126

94.When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when I have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master's house - i can only be dried off by
Him whipping me dry.

This guy's over the top!

 

[Pure]

Hi S'lara,
I don't see a reason for the mystery, since these are floating around the 'net, findable in google "126 rules" slave.

http://home.a-e-c.org/mstrwelf/englvers/126rules.html

Rules attributed to "Master John K. III" 1996.

Some of the following may also be worth considering,
From the introductory set before the 126.

3.Place the rules at a level where you can read them.
4.Read all of the rules out loud in a soft, but held back tone - as if to do soquietly in a confessional manner. you may read them several times over a periodof a few days if you desire - at least once a day is required for a period of at least3 days before making your selections.
5.After your first few days of reading in the proper position find a placecomfortable to sit at (you may be in your kneeling position - a relaxed one withtoes curled back behind you) and start the process of your rules selection.
6.Using a number system or colored felt pens select your rules in whole or inpart as to:
1.Will do.
2.Want to do.
3.Won't do.
4.Questionable or problematic.
5.Need to do.

(you may also rewrite, change words or add to each rule, and even add to the listif you wish)

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Mr. 126

94.When i take a shower i can do so the way i like to, but when I have finished washing i must rinse my entire body with only cold water for not less than 2 full minutes. i am not to try to cover my body with my arms and hands thereafter. i may use a towel to dry off, but in my Master's house - i can only be dried off by
Him whipping me dry.

This guy's over the top!

I was thinking that this Master must be very damn busy taking care of all of these tasks associated with this list. *snicker*

Practically a full time job.

~Anelize

 

[Pure]

http://www.geocities.com/satyr_man/128rules.html

There is biographical material and comentary at the above site.

The 126 is the same basic list as the 128, I think. Hence, here are the pee and menstruation rules from Master John's (Jonathan Kay) 128 rule version, for comparison.


88. If i am required to be my Master's toilet, into or onto which He chooses to release the watery juices of His cock, i shall position myself to receive His personal waters by kneeling for Him, tilting my head back, opening my cunt wide, and closing my eyes so that He will delight in the display and offering of my body and of one of my orifices for Him choose upon which one to use. i shall remain still as He releases Himself, swallowing what i can of the waters He allows me. i shall play with myself during the release, as is instructed by Him, so that i am permitted to sexualize the experience as much as possible for His pleasure, thanking Him afterwards for allowing me the opportunity to honor Him in this most private way.

89. i will not wear a pad or tampoon when i am on my period without His permission - my pussy must be available for His use at all times. Should i be allowed to use a pad or tampoon - it must be removed in His presence should He require my vagina to be emptied - regardless of where i am and who may be present. The use of a pad or tampoon is a privilege that can be taken away from me at any time. If so, i can only hope i will be allowed to bleed for His pleasure and to feel my blood trickling down my legs or to strain to hear it drip onto the floor or onto another female slave he has selected to punish with my blood.

90. If Master has chosen my sexual orientation to that of being bisexual, and He requires of me to receive the watery juices or blood of a chosen female slave's pussy, i am to position myself, as i would for Master, to receive upon my flesh or into my cunt the slave's juices, and if permitted to do so, either through His command or after receiving permission from Him to display for Him my hunger, i will cup my cunt tightly to the slave's pussy to feed from her, licking and sucking, if allowed to do so, as much as I can get from her remaining tightly cupped to her until Master allows me to release myself from her. Thereafter, i am to be thankful for what i have received and for the privilege He allowed me. Such a feeding will be counted as one of my meals for the day.

 

[Pure]

Anelize said,


I was thinking that this Master must be very damn busy

I agree, ... and who's serving who?


and this brings up a topic we haven't ever talked much about, sub or slave narcissism. (I require a master who will lavish such detailed attention upon me almost every minute of the day.)

 

[lark sparrow]

It is interesting that you do not have nor do you appear to want a safeword in the confines of your relationship with your Mistress.

While i understand the need you and your Mistress have to clearly communicate and use empathy with each other, i am still of the mind that a safeword is essential in a D/s, M/s, etc. relationship. Not having a safeword does not mean the relationship cannot exist, however, to my way of thinking, it is a basic tenet of a D/s, M/s relationship and something i personally would not do without.

That's fine. It's only troublesome when we decide we must define other's relationships through our own needs and perceptions.

What it comes down to for us, is that using a codeword, or specific "safeword" feels unnecessary. Stop, can we take a break, etc. work just as well as red or yellow. Mistress expects me to say what I mean, and to trust Her. Submissives or slaves often will not use their safeword anyhow for a number of reasons, and the Dominant becomes aware of their troubled emotional or physical presence through other means. Often a Dominant will use empathy to direct a scene in stopping or changing pace and does not need the coded directives of red, yellow and green - though knowing their submissive has the safeword may give them peace of mind. Through listening to what their submissive says and does they aquire the information long before a scene becomes so troubled that a submissive must halt it on their own by calling a safeword.

However, as I said before I have played with safewords with those new to me as a safety net for us both. I think they are smart ideas for the vast majority of people who participate in BDSM with one another, but they are not a cure all. Safer, but not ultimately safe. If my Mistress is not reading my non-verbal cues and will not listen to my direct input (uncoded), then the chances that she will listen to "red and yellow" aren't so great either. A safeword can allow someone to yell and scream no, stop! etc. without the activity actually stopping - in Mistress' and my world no still means no, and stop still means stop. Perhaps that is horribly unsafe and not "BDSM", but it works for us.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I was thinking that this Master must be very damn busy taking care of all of these tasks associated with this list. *snicker*

Practically a full time job.

~Anelize

Did you say job? I hope the pay is good.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Rules and Rituals add dimension to a D/s relationship...I am a big believer in the structure of rules but must say this list I cannot take seriously..not even seriously enough to do more than scan them.
It must be next to impossible for the slave AND the Master to remember each and every one of them without a cheat sheet up their sleeve!

He probably has it attached to a butt plug up her ass. That way it can be referred to any any given moment. After all neither of them have time to work cause all that bowing and scraping does take time.

Sheesh! SD, you took it more seriously than I did. I had to stop reading it cause I was laughing so hard.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Next Set of 20

Different context. i personally wasn't offended by this. Again, i think it is sad nonetheless. As with a nilla relationship, it is still tough to hear someone say their life has no meaning without someone else. We all know that may not be the case and when expressed in song or by the lovelorn, it isn't meant to be taken literally.

Some of you have expressed thoughts about the "ultimate" surrender and as subs/slaves, we know surrendering on that level is very different than the surrender which takes place in a nilla relationship.

So when a slave utters those words, i take it very seriously because he/she have given over quite a bit more. Having been at that end of the spectrum, i think it tough to disregard such a statement which obviously has an unhealthy outlook.

I don't know, I think we are talking about human relationships and feelings. You may find this an obviously unhealthy outlook, and many people may find your healthy D/s outlook rather unhealthy. I too think that blatant statement is rather sad taken on it's own, regardless of context, but none are above feeling it to one degree or another at times. In this case it is more troubling because it is encouraged - which would be the case nilla or D/s, yes?

 

[psiberzerker]

I have just one, "Be yourself". We figure the rest out later.

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rituals vs. Rules

Actually, Richard, I understood that from your earlier post. Still, I find that some of the rules are a bit much.

thank you for acknowledging my earlier post

For me having more then 1 rule makes things difficult
short memory here

However what others might want is up to them ... and I have found this a useful list for discussion purposes

Perhaps I am tired
perhaps because I have been and am ill
or whatever
I find the tone of respondes to these rules
desrespectful to those that made it up
and to people like me who have found it useful

your kink is as good as my kink