Rules to submit to

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

PBW, you sauciness is even gettin' me hot! Oh, if only I had the time to use that free airline ticket, get a strap on, and wine ya and dine ya! I'd be very willing to introduce you to the finer pleasures of anal.

And I promise that I'll be extra gentle and it won't hurt a bit! Really! No, I'm serious! Hey! Why are you laughing?!?!

ohhhhh look what ya'll have started... now more people are trying to get into me.... oh dear oh dear.

You say that now Chele... but then when I'm sqealing and screaming "Take it out, take it out, pleease take it out." you'll be giggling and saying "come on... take it like a man" ROTFLMAO


mmm let's see.. do you have references? LOL

PBW "Usually women shy away from male virgins... what gives?!?" lol

 

[Ebonyfire]

humiliation in 24/7

Actually because 24/7 is so intense and never ending in My home humiliation is used more in a private setting and no the crawling to the bathroom does not fit into rituals as it will be constantly changing as the mood strikes Me.

Rituals are meant to stay consistent yet have room to build onto. If that makes any sense at all.

For instance some mornings when My toy is ready to drop into the crawling position to head to the bathroom I will tell him that he must walk..and I will instruct him exactly how that walk should appear..if it were a ritual I would have taken away his comfort in knowing what was expected of him.

24/7 is NOT for the largest portion of BDSM society in My opinion. It is an incredible amount of work. It is best left a fantasy for many.

It is what I discuss most of the time because I can give a peek into the door of that reality..it is what I teach when I am training because I don't know anyone else that will give the opportunity to Dominants or submissives to test their fanatsy against reality.

Exactly.

As a Domme who is learning from Shadowsdream, it is even more work that one could fantasize. It starts with the search for your "magic" sub. It take lots of time, and energy to do the work to find, interview, and get to know a likely candidate. There are tons of things to consider. I think if more engaged people worked this hard, there would be fewer divorces.
Also, the reality is this...it is only the beginning.

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

when My submissive is ill I relieve him of ALL of his duties and I take care of him as I would My most valuable possession. For he is My most valuable possession.

BUT

My Domination just changes direction when he is ill or is in a high stress or action level with work.

I will *order* him to rest in bed (when ill). I will *order* him to relax with TV. I will *order* him to feel no stress when he sees Me doing the dishes or preparing meals. I will bathe him and massage his aches and pains away in a way that he knows I do it for My pleasure..for it is a pleasure for Me to have him content and relaxed and well.

I will *give* him the *freedom* from his submissive behaviour without stripping him of his submission in the day to day expectations of asking permission...crawling and kneeling..etc.

BUT

I know he *needs* My Domination and so by *releasing* him in communication *before* he needs to ask for leniency I am *giving* him the gift of My Domination and his pride stays intact.

he is still obeying you see?

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

ohhhhh look what ya'll have started... now more people are trying to get into me.... oh dear oh dear.

You say that now Chele... but then when I'm sqealing and screaming "Take it out, take it out, pleease take it out." you'll be giggling and saying "come on... take it like a man" ROTFLMAO


mmm let's see.. do you have references? LOL

PBW "Usually women shy away from male virgins... what gives?!?" lol

*SIGH* Okay, okay! I'll play with safe words, how 'bout that? And if I truly do end up hurting you, I'll let you do me anally? Deal?

Chele *always trying to think of a win win situation!*

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Humiliating aspects

PBW, I posted this in detail a while back, but it is apt here too in brief.

sissyboy and I went to the fetish club, and before we went in, I put on his collar, and his leash. when he got in, I told him to go to the men's room and remove his boxers and put on the pink silk panties I had for him, and insert the vibrating butt plug he had just purchased. On his return he handed me the control. I walked him around the room and made him

a) show all the patrons his panties, and tell them about his vibrating butt plug. I would zap him each time he mentioned the butt plug.

He was enormously humiliated cause he is a shy guy. He was also very aroused cause each time he showed his panties, he had the biggest hard on I had seen, and the front of his panties were getting very, very wet!

Oh yes, humiliation can still be possible regardless of how happy he is to be in service to Me. He had to show the men and the women his panties.

Eb

Yes I can totally see that as humiliation... and I also see it very much excited him. But also, it involved other people. Would he have been at all humiliated just showing you, in the privacy of your home, his new panties and butt plug?

This is probably more about what I feel humiliation is.. I think. To me... when I'm with someone I've bonded with... I almost can't imagine feeling humiliation. But make me strip in front of a crowd of people.. and gawd... talk about blushing... geez. I'd be red as a beet. To me that is humiliation. But just strip in front of a partner.. and I'd be like... "no big deal". Hell I had to have my gf take the bandages off my butt when I came home from surgery. If I didn't feel humilation then.. i dont' think I ever could in front of her... LOL.



Shadowsdream... I see the distinction now about the crawling not being a ritual.

PBW "She ain't gonna sweep me off my feet with a strap-on.. I'll tell ya that much right now"

 

[Ebonyfire]

when My submissive is ill I relieve him of ALL of his duties and I take care of him as I would My most valuable possession. For he is My most valuable possession.

BUT

My Domination just changes direction when he is ill or is in a high stress or action level with work.

I will *order* him to rest in bed (when ill). I will *order* him to relax with TV. I will *order* him to feel no stress when he sees Me doing the dishes or preparing meals. I will bathe him and massage his aches and pains away in a way that he knows I do it for My pleasure..for it is a pleasure for Me to have him content and relaxed and well.

I will *give* him the *freedom* from his submissive behaviour without stripping him of his submission in the day to day expectations of asking permission...crawling and kneeling..etc.

BUT

I know he *needs* My Domination and so by *releasing* him in communication *before* he needs to ask for leniency I am *giving* him the gift of My Domination and his pride stays intact.

he is still obeying you see?

I know I see, but I wonder how many others see. I am beginning to behave in way toward my boys that reenforce their need to be dominated on a periodic basis. In short, since we do not live in 24/7 environment, yet we have an ongoing E/s relationship, I am contantly finding ways to allow them to submit. That takes a lot of energy.

Eb

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

*SIGH* Okay, okay! I'll play with safe words, how 'bout that? And if I truly do end up hurting you, I'll let you do me anally? Deal?

Chele *always trying to think of a win win situation!*

hehehe.... you don't want to give me a safeword... cus at the first touch... I'd be safewording. And you'd be saying "oh come ON.. I just squirted some lube on it". LOL

How about I just do you anally... and we stop there? Yes? <puppi dog eyes>

PBW "Your wily, girlie logic won't trick me."

 

[li'a-wahine]

I have a few rules that I would like to offer up for sharing.



I will not post the other rules in any particular order ....

Greeting rituals The private ones are to be followed no matter what! No excuses, no tardiness ... I know that if, for some reason I fail (because I overselpt, for example) I will be punished. The other rituals we have ... they may be modified by me if there are others (vanilla) present - but I will be expected to address the balance at the first opportunity.

Internet I am free to visit any site I care to - including chat rooms - but must never play. I am free to speak with whom I care to, but am expected to share the gist of such conversations with Him. That doesn't mean I have to tell Him every word or exchange ... just something like 'I chatted with ... today. We were discussing ...'s birthday'

I have just met you willow, yet it seems like we share an aufull lot in common! I decided to just quote you because it would be esyer that writting alot of the same, lol. One exception for myself is that my Master likes thongs on me, so I am to change into one and "something" I know he will like befor He gets home. Private time has its own set of clothing which is required which does not include any panties...lol

lia

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

hehehe.... you don't want to give me a safeword... cus at the first touch... I'd be safewording. And you'd be saying "oh come ON.. I just squirted some lube on it". LOL

How about I just do you anally... and we stop there? Yes? <puppi dog eyes>

PBW "Your wily, girlie logic won't trick me."

Hmmm...do me anally and just STOP? I think we got some negotiatin' to do here!

But it's definitely lookin' good!

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

Hmmm...do me anally and just STOP? I think we got some negotiatin' to do here!

But it's definitely lookin' good!

Negotiations are good At least we are starting off with me not having anal done on me.. and me doing anal to you... we'll go from there Hehe.

Cus you'd have to do more than wine and dine me to take my virginity... lol

PBW "Saving it for the woman that can out-ride me" <evil laugh>

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

Negotiations are good At least we are starting off with me not having anal done on me.. and me doing anal to you... we'll go from there Hehe.

Cus you'd have to do more than wine and dine me to take my virginity... lol

PBW "Saving it for the woman that can out-ride me" <evil laugh>

Okay, do fingers and tongues count? (Of course, the number of fingers is open!) Or are you saving your "virginity" from those as well?

"Out-ride"? Well, I have out-lasted almost every man I've been with, so maybe there is still a small sliver of hope....

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: It is your fault, PBW

Okay, do fingers and tongues count? (Of course, the number of fingers is open!) Or are you saving your "virginity" from those as well?

"Out-ride"? Well, I have out-lasted almost every man I've been with, so maybe there is still a small sliver of hope....

Out-ride on a bicycle. <griN>

ohhh you can do the tongue thing all day and night... that is very welcomed.... ohh yes indeedie.

Mmm fingers... not so much.. they hurt. LOL

PBW "Ohhhh damn baby... what did you put on your tongue? It's tingling" lol

 

[morninggirl5]

RULES



It is My contention that rules are essential components of a D/s relationship <snip> These rules are created and adhered to, to strengthen the bond of submission and Domination.

Shadowsdream, i hope you don't mind that i snipped away at your post. You made such perfect sense that i had to take out the 24/7 part.

Considering rules and how that frees a sub from thinking and re-thinking about what will be pleasing to her Dom has been on my mind quite a bit in the last week or so.

Realizing that i'm looking for the rules in this relationship was one of those *a-ha* moments for me.

How do other subs deal with this? Do you find yourself looking for, wanting, needing the rules? How do you prefer they be introduced?

 

[Shadowsdream]

mg

Please snip where snips need snipping...I generally try to make it clear that I write from the 24/7 perspective so that the depth I sometimes go to has a better understanding for its bases..but I agree much of it is about all of BDSM needs.

Thank you for sharing your needs with us.

I will look forward to seeing the replies to your question from other subs.

 

[Goddess Helena]

Shadowsdream, thank you for sharing.

I am a Domme who has begun to question what I am doing and why. The wisedom of your words has reassured me that I am on the proper path with my boy.
I hope that you will continue to share with us.
And, thank you for reminding me why my boy must bow to my will at all times.


Helena

 

[lily_pond]

Shadowsdream Ma'am,

Thank you for the wealth of knowledge I will be sharing this thread with my Master once He is available.

The rules given to me are simple but once Master reads this thread I see new rules coming my way

Be well & safe respectfully,

lily

 

[MissTaken]

Realizing that i'm looking for the rules in this relationship was one of those *a-ha* moments for me.

How do other subs deal with this? Do you find yourself looking for, wanting, needing the rules? How do you prefer they be introduced?

I enjoy rules and limits in scene and out.

They provide a certain framework which takes away the fear of the unknown.

For example. if the rule is that I am to count each strike with the flogger and thank Him until we reach His favorite number, the only variable is the actual intensity and timing of the strike. It doesn't feel as random or scattered for me, especially when in subspace. It gives me a thread to hold on to and remain focussed as well as keeping my focus on pleasing him, my role etc.

Out of scene? I am a scattered and seemingly disorganized person about some things. Any structure provided is welcome!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I enjoy rules and limits in scene and out.

They provide a certain framework which takes away the fear of the unknown.

For example. if the rule is that I am to count each strike with the flogger and thank Him until we reach His favorite number, the only variable is the actual intensity and timing of the strike. It doesn't feel as random or scattered for me, especially when in subspace. It gives me a thread to hold on to and remain focussed as well as keeping my focus on pleasing him, my role etc.

Out of scene? I am a scattered and seemingly disorganized person about some things. Any structure provided is welcome!

I forgot that. I like to have my subs count out their strokes when I paddle them. Funny how you can forget things.

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

and kiss the crop to show devotion and respect!

 

[Goddess Helena]

And ask for the honor of being whipped by their Mistress.
Or Master.


Helena

 

[Shadowsdream]

Into the frog position at the side of the bed to ask permission to sleep in the bed. Humbly! Thanking Me when he has permission or sleeping happily on the mattress on the floor at My side. Leashed.

 

[P. B. Walker]

I was wondering... and this is a question for the Dom/mes on the board. After you have administered a particular hard and long spanking/whipping... do you give your submissives a few days to recover? Allow them to sleep in a bit longer? Or sleep on a bed if they don't normally get to? If they are cut or bruised, do you care for them personally or let them do that?

Have you ever given a spanking or whipping over skin that hasn't quite healed up?

Just my morbid curiosity going crazy again

PBW

 

[Goddess Helena]

I always tend to my boy. I treat him with tenderness. I praise him for doing so well and allow him into my bed as he as earned it. We will do other things as his little ass and back heal. I try to wait until he had healed before returning to that area again. Although, I have been known to spank him before he has totally healed from a whipping.


Helena

 

[Shadowsdream]

I have never broken the skin but have given My share of bruises...I do not let minor bruises slow Me down but will do the finger poke test on larger bruises to test endurance.
I care for My toy as he is My most valuable possession. His physical and emotional health are always My primary focus. Broken toys are of no use to Me.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Mmmm gotta just love being cared for by a sexy sensual woman after you've been hurt/bruised/etc. So sweet.

PBW "Nurse? Nurse... I have a pain.. yes... right there... will you kiss it better? PLLLEEEEAASSEEE?"