sex in your writing: protected or unprotected?

[2981notrohrm]

One way to duck the whole condom thing is to have the female put it on with her mouth - my first story was about a man with a stripper, and as I understand it, condoms are a must in clubs. I made it a small part of the paragraph and had the stripper use her mouth in order to avoid killing any buzz.

 

[Cameo_Fleur]

I try to always incorporate condom use in my stories. (None on Literotica----yet.) It just works out in the writing. Last story I wrote had the sentence

"He skimmed the condom on and her panties off in one smooth, seemingly practiced move."

 

[spikespen]

I'm currently awaiting approval on my first story here.

Impregnation is my biggest fetish so I always go out of the way to make sure a guy blows his load deep inside her.

My first story is about a sister who is forced to have sex with her brother in a strip club and when the bouncer brings them a condom they are relieved that at least they don't have to go bareback, and then the condom gets knocked out of her hand and stepped on ripping it (and it was the last one!)

 

[curvybritlady]

For me, I would always write contraception into a story. For example, if I were to write a woman going out on the town, she'd put in a dam before she left the house. I don't think you should beat people over the head with it - that has too much of a soapbox moral feel to it - but I always get really happy when I read a story with contraception briefly, seriously, mentioned. I feel it is so, so important.

(To put this in context, a member of my family worked in a termination clinic for ten years and I went to a girls school for half my life, so I was raised in a very pro-contraception environment.)

 

[SydneyBlake]

It depends....

This may be a weird question, but when you are writing a sex scene, do you mention putting on a condom or just keep it out of your writing for fear it will break the mood?

I don't think that's a weird question at all. In this day and age, it's very pertinent.

I believe it depends on what you are writing. If it is a modern-day story, then yes, I think you should mention it. Like it or not, condoms are part of life. Just like in your sex life, you find a way to fit it in. It can be done without spoiling the mood.

 

[Kiwibeavergrowler]

You know, I don't remember, so I cant have found it important. Maybe I'll re-read to double-check, but you make a valid point as I'm always trying to develop the well-being of my characters as well.

Trouble is I like as much spontaneity as possible so the condom thing is out.

 

[Athalia]

For me, I would always write contraception into a story. For example, if I were to write a woman going out on the town, she'd put in a dam before she left the house.


- but I always get really happy when I read a story with contraception briefly, seriously, mentioned. I feel it is so, so important.

I feel the same way. For me, the more realistic the story is, the better it works for me. The more a reader can be convinced that the characters are real people with real concerns, the less of a leap it is to believe that the sex stuff is real, too. And it's simply unrealistic to think that a woman would be comfortable with unprotected sex, unless she wants to be pregnant. Perhaps it's because I'm writing from a woman's point of view, regardless of whether the main character's gender is male or female.

Maybe it's a female thing. I suppose men are more comfortable with the unprotected sex/impregnation fantasy. No harm in that, since we're just writing fantasy anyway.

 

[CWatson]

I've never been scared of contraception because I tend to write in a very realist world, where awkward and uncomfortable happens and ruined moods are normal. Obviously, I'm unusual that way, and believe me I've gotten angry e-mails from readers who were upset when I didn't play out a fantasy scenario in blissful ignorance.

Most of the time it gets a throwaway reference where the female character announces she's taking birth control pills, and I go from there. I also got lucky in that a lot of my work takes place in the "Naked In School" universe, which involves a bit of advanced technology including instant birth-control shots. If the characters are already in some sort of committed relationship, I might not mention it at all; they don't bring it up, and there's reason to believe they would if it needed to be addressed, so largely The Reader lets it slide. And, finally, in one case I worked it into the plot by having two characters involved in (essentially) a shotgun wedding. Sometimes they'd remember; sometimes they wouldn't. Tension happened.

 

[jehoram]

Maybe it's a female thing. I suppose men are more comfortable with the unprotected sex/impregnation fantasy. No harm in that, since we're just writing fantasy anyway.

I found that statement curious coming from Athalia, since she's argued on another thread that there isn't much real difference in male/female porn:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=37284858#post37284858

But it got me thinking about the mind-set women (or at least fertile) women bring into a sexual liaison, and how it has to differ in some respects from a male viewpoint. It was the advent of easily available birth control that leveled the playing field and made it possible for women to enjoy sex without having to worry about pregnancy, but it never occurred to me how much that control still had to be in the back of their minds, and how its presence in the story was important. Thanks for pointing that out.

As DeviantDreamer pointed out, there's an element of "suspension of reality" which may be operating in the story. It depends on the story you're telling, and how you're telling it. Arnold Schwarzenegger can walk through a hail of gunfire without a scratch, but those guys on the beach in Saving Private Ryan couldn't. And having it any other way would have undercut the stories those movies were telling.

 

[__misty__]

This may be a weird question, but when you are writing a sex scene, do you mention putting on a condom or just keep it out of your writing for fear it will break the mood?

It's weird that I've never considered birth control when I write. Not ever, not once. Maybe it's the nature of my stories?

 

[Athalia]

it never occurred to me how much that control still had to be in the back of their minds, and how its presence in the story was important. Thanks for pointing that out.

Any time, dear!

 

[RicoLouis]

Of course if you read any romance novel I bet you will be hard pressed to find a safe sex scene despite most are written by women. The only ones I have ever read mentioned it only to point out that the males had barbs in their cocks, they where half cat, so condoms where useless.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Of course if you read any romance novel I bet you will be hard pressed to find a safe sex scene despite most are written by women. The only ones I have ever read mentioned it only to point out that the males had barbs in their cocks, they where half cat, so condoms where useless.

I'm not sure what publishers you're reading, but every romance I've read mentioned condom use. I like to infuse as much realism as possible into my stories, so not talking about birth control and disease prevention would be senseless.

 

[Dual_Triode]

Protected!

I must weigh-in firmly in the safe sex camp.

Given the millions of readers perusing the Literotica library, a fleeting mention of the use of a condom might prevent even one infection. In my book, that's well worth a few extra words in a love scene.

~Dual

 

[autoplot]

To me worrying about condom use in erotica is like worrying about how those characters in sitcoms afford giant Manhattan apartments while working in coffee shops. It might be unrealistic, but it's not central to the story for me.

 

[EveAnna]

So far all of my stories have been in the NonHuman category and there has been no need to worry about disease or pregnancy - but when I start writing in the other categories, then I'll make my mind up then about whether to use protection or not. It will also depend on the story.

 

[kimberlee]

I think it depends on the story. I feel an obligation to remind readers that unprotected can have consequences. STDs and unwanted pregnancies are issues we're faced with in reality and it seems somewhat irresposible to simply shrug it off as inconsequential just because the story's imagined.

 

[autoplot]

I think it depends on the story. I feel an obligation to remind readers that unprotected can have consequences. STDs and unwanted pregnancies are issues we're faced with in reality and it seems somewhat irresposible to simply shrug it off as inconsequential just because the story's imagined.

To me that's tantamount to writing a story about werewolves and then feeling an obligation to warn readers that werewolves aren't real -- it's insulting to the reader (because it assumes they're too stupid to understand that sex causes pregnancy) and serves no real purpose.

 

[SydneyBlake]

No cigar

To me that's tantamount to writing a story about werewolves and then feeling an obligation to warn readers that werewolves aren't real -- it's insulting to the reader (because it assumes they're too stupid to understand that sex causes pregnancy) and serves no real purpose.

And believe you me, after watching Bram Stoker's Dracula, I was very disappointed that werewolves aren't real, because that Lucy looked like she had a smokin' hot time.

But the point is that it doesn't matter whether the viewer/reader believes in werewolves. One is not going to come to your real life bed at night and seduce you. I also wouldn't worry about catching an STD or getting pregnant. Fleas and a nasty habit of ripping people's throats out could become a problem.

But in a story where the hero is, say, an ER doctor, then what would the reader think of him if he didn't practice safe sex? He wouldnt be very heroic. That's why we say it depends on the story.

 

[roomfor1more]

When I write I will write my sex scenes as unprotected. Why? The characters and setting are fictional. This means fictional story characters cannot get STDs / STIs nor can fictional characters get pregnant. Furthermore, I do not believe when I write I need to espouse the ideas of safe-sex nor ridicule the idea of safe-sex. Instead I believe readers know the story is fictional and understand the risks of real-world unprotected sex.

 

[kimberlee]

Do you know how many times I've received a response from a reader implying that they believed the story was real or asking after whether the story was true? Simply shrugging one's shoulders and passing the buck saying, they know it's not real just doesn't cut it in the long run.

Next thing you know, there'll be a conspiracy theory claiming that STD's don't exist and that it's all a plot to get people buying condoms and dental dams.

And what do you mean werewolves aren't real? Next you'll be saying Santa, the Toothfairy, and vampires are fiction too... Okay, seriously though, whether I mention taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy depends entirely on the story I'm writing.

I try to make my characters as true to life as the story allows. That means that they have hopes and worries all their own - not just hyperactive libidos.

 

[Pure]

i don't see a problem incorporationg condoms or such into stories. i'm not saying make stories into 'safe sex' advertisements, but it's a minor distraction, or possibly has erotic, not to say SM, possibilities. it can add a dimension to the story, e.g supposing there is initial condom use, then the persons decide to go for possible pregnancy.

 

[autoplot]

Do you know how many times I've received a response from a reader implying that they believed the story was real or asking after whether the story was true? Simply shrugging one's shoulders and passing the buck saying, they know it's not real just doesn't cut it in the long run.

"Passing the buck" is a bit of a loaded term, implying that it's my responsibility as a writer of fiction to safeguard my readers from bad or unwise behavior, which is a notion I will never agree with. So no, I refuse to buy into the idea that I'm complicit in teen pregnancy and STDs by not holding readers hands and ending every story with a public service announcement like it's an episode of G.I. Joe.

Okay, seriously though, whether I mention taking precautions against STDs and pregnancy depends entirely on the story I'm writing.

Wait, what? I thought that not having safe sex in fiction was totally irresponsible and directly contributing to teen pregnancy and STDs. Which is it? Because if you're not 100% consistent, clearly you're signing your reader's death warrants.

But seriously, I have no quarrel at all with mentioning precautions in stories, but I certainly don't feel guilty about not mentioning it in mine. Cheers.

 

[kimberlee]

i don't see a problem incorporationg condoms or such into stories. i'm not saying make stories into 'safe sex' advertisements, but it's a minor distraction, or possibly has erotic, not to say SM, possibilities. it can add a dimension to the story, e.g supposing there is initial condom use, then the persons decide to go for possible pregnancy.

Exactly!

 

[kimberlee]

Wait, what? I thought that not having safe sex in fiction was totally irresponsible and directly contributing to teen pregnancy and STDs. Which is it? Because if you're not 100% consistent, clearly you're signing your reader's death warrants.

If the story's a romance, I tend not to bother over-much. If there are multple partners however, I prefer to 'practice safe sex.' It's not something I build my story around. Just one aspect to the story.

But seriously, I have no quarrel at all with mentioning precautions in stories, but I certainly don't feel guilty about not mentioning it in mine. Cheers.

The only reason I made such a fuss was that the general feeling I was getting was similar to my last ex when I asked him to wear a condom when we first had sex.

Or like one of my sisters when I buckled up actually asking me if I didn't trust her driving. I explained to her that I liked her driving fine but the reason they were called accidents was that you didn't see them coming until too late.

Signing off. Take care - K