Sexless Marriages

[mariv82]

HL 41 yo bi woman in a deadbedroom for over a year. Hubby seems to have low testosterone and no plans to change it. It socks!!

 

[Wld1936]

HL 41 yo bi woman in a deadbedroom for over a year. Hubby seems to have low testosterone and no plans to change it. It socks!!

Hey turn on your pm please. I want to send you a pm

 

[overwatcher]

I get that I'm very lucky* to have such a good relationship and spouse*, and that most of the people in this thread experience insufferable shit more along the lines of what @sunshinestate100 describes above.

* Links go to another thread on a completely different subject. People can have other reasons to seek ENM besides having a sexually incompatible spouse. The other thread is about bisexual men getting a pass to cruise men outside their marriage. Do not pretend you weren't warned, if that's something you'd have a tantrum over after clicking. My links highlight a little more of my story about how and why it worked/was possible for me. It's because my wife isn't a fragile, narcissistic monster.

I fell on this thread by chance. Call it first up inquisitiveness I guess - I'm a personals virgin. Well, the virginity things gone that's for damn sure. Replaced with a sombre awareness.

I have no idea what you folk go through. Hope you get through it as well as you can. Whatever way you can. Thanks for sharing. Stay safe. OW.

 

[zysmith]

Seems to be several sexless marriage threads here. It's been just over a dozen years for me.

 

[NomServiam]

It’s been close to six years of no sex in my marriage. I wonder all of the time why I stay. But what a wreckage if we split.
Often tried to talk about it, with different responses and reasons. It’s been so long, and so much confusions, hurt and anger, I’d feel silly if she wanted to start again. Suspicious maybe.
Very hard thing to live with.

 

[overwatcher]

Hi. 27/bi here would like to chat.

Okay.

Seems to be several sexless marriage threads here. It's been just over a dozen years for me.

Okay.

It’s been close to six years of no sex in my marriage. I wonder all of the time why I stay. But what a wreckage if we split.
Often tried to talk about it, with different responses and reasons. It’s been so long, and so much confusions, hurt and anger, I’d feel silly if she wanted to start again. Suspicious maybe.
Very hard thing to live with.

Likewise.

Look. If you want to talk I'm pretty sure there's enough here that'll listen to you. If you feel the need.

 

[Cuiousguy67]

Same here. Would love to find someone to chat with

 

[whiskeycowgirl23]

Been through the dessert more than once… anyone ever experience the ebb and flow pattern? After a while, it might be easier to stop being hurt and you just long for peace instead of getting your hopes up and then having after a short spin your self esteem takes another hit?

This is why I gave up asking. My self esteem took a huge hit. I did put myself out there one last time and asked him to at least help me get myself off and he totally ignored that I asked him. So I won't bring anything up again.
Some of the people I have interacted with on here have been a big booster for me. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm fine with that. Lord knows I have enough baggage to fill a small plane.

 

[Poetryinmotionxo]

Very frustrating

 

[Kelvin8or]

Does it count if you’re left unsatisfied a lot after sex?

Absolutely

 

[Mtnmike]

This is why I gave up asking. My self esteem took a huge hit. I did put myself out there one last time and asked him to at least help me get myself off and he totally ignored that I asked him. So I won't bring anything up again.
Some of the people I have interacted with on here have been a big booster for me. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm fine with that. Lord knows I have enough baggage to fill a small plane.

I know how you feel, after 7 year's of rejections I stopped trying, that was over 8 year's ago.
Everybody's situation has similarities but also differences, it helps if you have people you can confide in with good advice (people that's been thru it) with no judgement, in the end it'll be you're decision to how to proceed.
Open to talk if you ever need to & if not it's ok, best wishes in finding a good solution for it.

 

[Mtnmike]

Hi. 27/bi here would like to chat.

You're a 27F & in a sexless marriage? I'm so sorry, wth is the world coming to omfg.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

This is why I gave up asking. My self esteem took a huge hit. I did put myself out there one last time and asked him to at least help me get myself off and he totally ignored that I asked him. So I won't bring anything up again.
Some of the people I have interacted with on here have been a big booster for me. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm fine with that. Lord knows I have enough baggage to fill a small plane.

That sucks, it’s just a shitty thing to do to somebody.

The in-balance of sex drives is just very difficult for both parties but not to show affection for the person you profess to love is mean. I’m glad you’re getting a boost here.

 

[Lady2020]

This is why I gave up asking. My self esteem took a huge hit. I did put myself out there one last time and asked him to at least help me get myself off and he totally ignored that I asked him. So I won't bring anything up again.
Some of the people I have interacted with on here have been a big booster for me. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm fine with that. Lord knows I have enough baggage to fill a small plane.

Can totally relate. Last time I wanted sex wirh partner he said use your vibrator. Guess where I threw the vibrator like a rocket. The garbage.

 

[whiskeycowgirl23]

Can totally relate. Last time I wanted sex wirh partner he said use your vibrator. Guess where I threw the vibrator like a rocket. The garbage.

I hope you smacked him up side the head with it first!

 

[Britva415]

I’d feel silly if she wanted to start again.

I told my wife "you know what, no thanks."

We're family but not lovers now. It would seem incestuous at this point.

 

[PicassosPleasure]

I told my wife "you know what, no thanks."

We're family but not lovers now. It would seem incestuous at this point.

Sad, but glad to see you found some humor in it.

 

[Britva415]

Sad, but glad to see you found some humor in it.

Well, I've now got "a pass" too, so, the tragedy isn't as intense for me as it used to be.

 

[PicassosPleasure]

Well, I've now got "a pass" too, so, the tragedy isn't as intense for me as it used to be.

Nice to hear you have a pass!

 

[fullservice65]

A few years ago, I really got myself in shape, running half-marathons, losing a lot of weight, gaining muscle and tone in some spots I thought were really sexy - the chest, the upper arms, the back, in addition to the legs. No response. And when I tried to instigate, rejection.
Worst thing, I think we all can agree, is when a SO doesn't even want to talk about it. Is it me? Is it you? Is it the cats? The bed? The laundry detergent? My shampoo?
Who knows!
That's one reason why I come here. I'd like a long-term relationship, from Lit or elsewhere, or even a short-term. But I often run away when it looks like something might happen. Seems I'm a good student.

 

[sassysara67]

If you need a little help and fun, then PM me.

 

[uncut1234]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

If you still have it, use it. Nice post !

 

[shizzz]

I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns

I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!

lol. Dangerous place for such bold statements.

 

[shizzz]

Actually one of the things GreenMan and I realized once we took it to ‘in person’ instead of just here, we both miss the general intimacy like hugging, kissing, holding hands and just having someone who cares about us there daily, as much as the sex. The time we spend apart in between visits makes this even more apparent - humans need all kinds of intimacy to thrive.

I miss the feel of another body. Cuddling in a couch, a brief embrace. Physical contact creates a channel for me somehow, it’s the only way/time I don’t feel isolated…

 

[Doodledude]

I don’t even remember how long it’s been. We’re roommates and friends now, but there’s no affection. Divorce is out of the question and I have enough respect for her to not go out so I’ve come on here to find someone to talk with.