Sexless Marriages

[Bummy4]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I have that problem too let's talk

 

[rickeno650]

I have been in a sexless marriage for over 10 years. It’s a lonely place to be.

 

[darkride]

The last time I remember having actual sex with my wife was pre COVID... There's been the occasional dalliance but that's typically only me getting her off with a toy / fingers / mouth / etc before she rolls over and I go to my computer and check out Chatropolis for someone to chat with.

Not sexually compatible, as well as lack of sex drive from her due to PCOS, or at least, partly so.

So yes, here we all are, huh...

 

[Vinylguy]

The last time I remember having actual sex with my wife was pre COVID... There's been the occasional dalliance but that's typically only me getting her off with a toy / fingers / mouth / etc before she rolls over and I go to my computer and check out Chatropolis for someone to chat with.

Not sexually compatible, as well as lack of sex drive from her due to PCOS, or at least, partly so.

So yes, here we all are, huh...

Yepp

 

[LustyScribe]

So, possibly some development. I pushed the "platonic?" question again. It seemed to lead to some progress, though there were also some tears as well. I tried to keep ALL the anger out of it, though I did express how hurt, anger, depression and loneliness had impacted my mental health.

I'll share this, in case it helps one of you. I'm multilingual; she is not. I described it this way to her. I asked her to imagine that I decided (with no known reason) to stop speaking English to her when I come home. She'd know that I CAN speak English, but suddenly, I just stop speaking "her" language. Eventually, you'd get lonely because now you can't talk, can't share, can't enjoy the person who has been your best friend most of your life. That illustration seemed to help her understand.

It seemed like we had some breakthrough, though my optimism is highly guarded. I'll let y'all know if it bears fruit.

 

[Poetryinmotionxo]

it’s really very tedious.

 

[13Fantasies]

it’s really very tedious.

Indeed

 

[Doodledude]

Sex was a real joy when we were younger, but it got to be just less and less important to her. So now I work and then sit around on my days off because I just don’t really care right now. I’ve lost 90lbs in 18 months without even trying. I have no health issues and can eat whatever I want. It seems like I need to get my brain fixed. I probably shouldn’t post this, because I’ll never find anyone to chat with now

 

[Duke981]

I’m in same situation? Let’s chat. Message me if interested

 

[Norfolkguy49]

I'm.so glad it is just not me lately has started to get really down. Been 8 years now

 

[LustyScribe]

I'm.so glad it is just not me lately has started to get really down. Been 8 years now

No, you're not alone by any stretch.

 

[luvclassics]

Heading to the gym. Working out helps me deal with the frustrations at home. Have a great day friends.

Dude, props to you. This sounds very similar to me. I just started my journey last week. I decided to stop feeling sorrow for myself and get off the couch. At this point I just work out at home but any pointers or things to watch out for in my journey would be appreciated.

 

[BigBallsCanuck]

it’s really very tedious.

Yes, it is isn't it.

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Mine is sexless because he refused to take care of diabetes when it first happened. Now he's been impotent for over 10 years but it's not just that. I got tired of asking for a hug, some not sexual touch other than when he wants a hj or bj. Even though it is a disease there's a lot of contained rage because he could have taken care of himself. Sex consists of giving him start he wants, then turns around a goes to sleep and i take care of myself when I'm alone. It's a lonely life.

I get no physical attention and try get a hug and she goes stop it

 

[LuvHCups]

Checking in with all the people with whom this thread reasonates. Sexless and lonely. How has your March started?

Anyone making meaningful connections on Lit?

With Spring coming soon, hope springs forth.

Hang in there peeps!

I am very hopeful. Soon I'll have the money for the divorce and I can finally get out of this ridiculous, sexless marriage. I can't wait to lay down with someone who has something to offer

 

[Unleashthelegions]

In the same boat, been mostly sexless marriage for the last 7 years, completely for the last 2. I'm 40 and she is 34. At one point she suggested opening the marriage up and things improved greatly for about 6 months before she got jealous and I had to close everything back up, so back to trying to find a connection with someone who is only online so as to appease her and still have some outlet for myself that she isn't interested in. I don't understand why she cares if she isn't interested in sex, but no matter the conversation she has never really given me an explanation that clicks for me. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

 

[Friedfred]

In the same boat, been mostly sexless marriage for the last 7 years, completely for the last 2. I'm 40 and she is 34. At one point she suggested opening the marriage up and things improved greatly for about 6 months before she got jealous and I had to close everything back up, so back to trying to find a connection with someone who is only online so as to appease her and still have some outlet for myself that she isn't interested in. I don't understand why she cares if she isn't interested in sex, but no matter the conversation she has never really given me an explanation that clicks for me. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

Did you find an outlet

 

[Friedfred]

Same crud. The depression is a constant battle.
I recently asked her if what she wanted was actually a platonic marriage (since, by way of refusal, that's what she's actually forcing on ME). She sputtered, said she wasn't saying anything like that...but then she didn't say it's NOT what she wants, either. We had some unrelated crap stir up, so it got tabled, but I'm going to press it again this weekend. Time to just put the cards on the table.
If she says yes, that's her desire, then that's my open pass to meet those needs elsewhere with no guilt. If she says no, I'm preparing some expectations. No more riding the fence.

Good luck with your battle

 

[Hopeful1972]

It is the most tedious of things.

 

[up3lcap1975]

Here to add my name to a list that I wash didn't exist

 

[Friedfred]

Welcome

 

[AttachedandLonely_UK]

I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head

 

[Sparky74]

I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head

Sent PM.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

I'm not about to go into too many details, but after the events of the last few days - and no, no other people involved to my knowledge - I'm determined to start having some fun. I'm going to get to know some women and see what comes of it. I'm tired of "being attached" being another way of wording "being miserable". Its not even that I want to be single, or with someone else - I'm just frustrated and if I'm feeling fulfilled, life at home will be better too. A week without sex should be unusual, a month exceptional. But when a fairly fit, fairly attractive man finds that having sex is exceptional, something is wrong

That probably doesn't make a great deal of sense - but it does in my head

You're not alone ... but finding a FWB is no easy task! I wish I could find someone to help ease my frustration / misery too

 

[AttachedandLonely_UK]

I'd settle just for a female friend who doesn't know my other half at the moment - and see what develops. I think it's an issue here where people are seeking a quick answer. I'm not, I'm hoping to get to know someone and take things as it comes. If it turns out to be a friendship that simply gets me socialising properly again, that's a great start and there will be more to it eventually - even if it takes a while and I make several non sexual friends along the way to finding it.