Sexual Torture [Pain]: Yes or No?

[00Syd]

ABSOLUTELY

just as "bad"!

you're a "bad" "bad" girl!

someone needs to punish you.

Oh golly gee!

 

[Homburg]

didnt say that you had.

i pulled up the only other spot murder was mentioned and highlighted it for all to see the misunderstanding.

draw your own conclusions.

i prefer not to declare sides most of the time.
ok some of the time.
ok ok... occasionally i prefer to remains as neutral as possible.

alright so i'm not being very neutral right now but at least i'm not calling him slapnuts.

I'm with you, Stag. And, hey, slapnuts is a content-neutral term for me. I call my best friend "Slapnuts" at times. It's like saying "dude". Calling him an asshat or dickwit would've been a different story.

 

[wicked2bme]

That all depends on which type of pain your speaking of mental or physical? I prefer both !

 

[rida]

I've said it before, if you are not into it, likely you are not ever going to understand why someone else is, no matter how much they try and explain it. Sort of like telling a person you can't understand why they love who they love as you do not, and then asking them to explain it to your satisfaction.

Catalina

I'm into it and still don't understand why! LOL

So right now I settle with: because I like that he likes the crying/screaming/whimpering, I like that I can give him the pleasure he needs and wants and I like the bruises afterward.

 

[rida]

i think thats about as good an answer as any of us are going to get without getting into physical/ chemical psycology, which more than half the posters here are likely to resent as it puts just about all of us under the "abnormal brain chemistry" category.

who wants to be normal anyway.

Thanks! never claimed to be normal ... not even in my 'nilla days

But what throws me out is that I cannot even identify with the ones that can say that pain/suffering/WITWD makes them wet or orgasm or enhance their pleasure.
So I guess I'll put myself in the "abnormal train of thoughts" category ...

(and for the OP: I've never been abused; I never learned to associate violence with love; I don't feel that been given pain is abusive in a consensual dynamic; I don't let just anybody beat me; I could not return what is done to me; there are different ways to show love and for a sadist, it includes giving pain, for a masochist to take it; if you don't get it, you are in good company with the majority of the world and there is no reason for you to force yourself to get it: just leave it at "different strokes for different folks" )

 

[Daddyslilpet]

I've been thinking a lot about how people develop certain fetishes. One that actually bothers me is someone who enjoys ether receiving or inflicting pain. My question is for anyone out there with masochistic tendencies. Do you enjoy giving/receiving pain during sex? If so please tell me why, and what, if any is your root for this desire. I especially want to know why someone would enjoy receiving it.

Personally: I do have rape fantasies, but none of them involve brutality. I'm a relatively submissive person in that I prefer to give pleasure rather than receive. If my partner wants to be dominated I can work with that because I see it as a way of 'giving pleasure.' Yet if it involves any sort of physical or mental abuse that's a no no.

Really???

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=28368963#post28368963

 

[CutieMouse]

Really???

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=28368963#post28368963

Huh... that's interesting.

(from the linked thread) -

You know I think I need to reevaluate myself. Most people think a sub means you're willing to crawl on your knees, bound by chains, get whipped, tortured and spanked or beating by your mistress. I'm attracted to dominant women but if she starts hitting me or trying anything that causes pain its game over. I don't play that way, enduring or inflicting. Dominant people want to take control, well I do too. I like to take control by giving all the pleasure and doing all the work. Whether its letting her sit on my face or getting on top and pounding her with my cock. Whatever gets her off, that's what I want to do because I'm passionate. However if she wants to be the one on her knees that's good too, no man can resist a blowjob. So what should I call myself? Dom or Sub? I'd rather be the giver than the receiver, but I'm nobodies bitch. =3

IMO the bolded bits up there read far more like porn than submission... not that those things don't happen in power based relationships, but really...

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Huh... that's interesting.

I thought so too.

 

[Loose_by_name]

Wow what a volatile thread

I find when you try and explain the unexplainable no one is any the wiser nor should anyone feel they have to justify themselves - for those who wish to learn more, an open mind is all the questioned person asks for and if the answers arent to the questioner's liking than sobeit

Krishnamurti says it best

"The mind gives meaning to anything but the meaning it gives is meaningless"

In other words, 'we' can explain ourselves til the end of time but if you arent in even a vaguely similar mindset or wishing to try and understand than, nothing 'we' say/explain will make one iota of sense or difference .

BTW when you figure it all out let me know LOL

Lucy

 

[Loose_by_name]

... and to answer Shywong more directly, for myself I enjoy pain whether it leads to sex or not - Im NOT saying I allow ANY person to have their sadistic way with me - what I AM saying is, I dont NEED to be f*cked or even have an orgasm for the pain to be enjoyable,the pain is enjoyable on it's own.

HOWEVER if PYL gets hard and horny in the process (which may or may not lead to me being f*cked) then I feel Ive 'served my purpose'


Im not going to ask if you get that, but you asked and so I answered you - honestly!

By the way never be discouraged about asking questions regardless of the topic, in High School I was always taught 'the dumbest question is the question you dont ask'

 

[nippleslut]

I wasn't judging anyone until you said this, "I get off on the noises she makes, and love the yelps, whimpers, and crying." Now I just want to shoot you in the face because I think you're an asshole who deserves it. I gave you credit for comparing sexual torture to exercising, but that last part doesn't make sense at all. You're getting out of bounds by accusing me calling those things abuse. I seek answers, not something you pulled out of your ass.

Isnt that same as when you get of off the womens moans and screams that she is making when she is with you. ??

I personaly like to have some pain to with my sex. Clothespins on nipples, smacks to my ass and pussy, hair pulling it all turns me on. My Hubby is just as turned on by my whimpers and yelps as he is by my moans and screams.

 

[DemoonKatjie]

And you worry about people who like to inflict pain..hmm. What kind of pain do you suppose this kind of situation would entail? You can't rape someone nicely. Humiliation is a form of pain, it's still mental anguish, and even more so if you confuse someone to the point where their body enjoys it, but their mind doesn't.

I agree, if you force a persons body to like something when their mind/heart dosn't want to, you make it FAR worse becuase they feel as they're being betrayed by their own bodies... not cool dude

 

[wildehafer]

For some reason I enjoy pain to a certain extent. When I exercise I always push myself to the pain threshold and beyond. It triggers some sort of endorphin release that kicks in after the session is over. Basically I get a high from the pain.

To me, pain is a battle of the mind over the body. So I try mentally to overcome the immediate impact of the pain knowing that it still triggers an endorphin response, so in the feedabck loop the pain can be almost pleasureable.

It's hard to explain unless you experience it.

It's the same with sex. I enjoy a certain amount of pain in the sexually responsive regions. It heightens the senses, builds a tension and because I already associate a certain type of pain with the following pleasure it automatically feeds a pleasureable response that flows into into my sexual feeling.

Confused?

Ah, fuck! Just whip me and bite my nipples!

 

[unfairplay]

Thanks for a really interesting thread! Lots of different POVs and some very well made points. I'm really happy I decided to join the forum!

I enjoy being spanked, bitten, even choked a little during sex. I guess it would qualify as pain, but it doesn't feel that way. To me, it's sexually stimulating, like kisses or caresses.

My boyfriend has a very gentle nature and doesn't like to inflict these things on me. For him, it does seem abusive, even if I enjoy it. So out of respect on both our parts, it's something I ask for and receive once in a blue moon.

 

[Netzach]

actually I heard that pain induces "happy" hormones.. Endorphins.. so it can be that which makes us "weirdos" like the pain or maybe we're just sick sick people.... tho thinking about it... after hubby tied me up today and "raped" me and spanked me I have to say.... I don't feel very sick... quite the opposite, lol!!!

I also have the rape fantasy... a VIOLENT rape fantasy.... but of course any old idiot knows that things like this make good fantasies but NOT good realities so I don't see a problem.

This touches on possibly the best answer to this question.

OP: You have a human brain, right? Because unless you have some sort of injury or congenital problem with your brain, pain probably induces some release of endorphins, inflicting it in certain parameters probably releases some amount of adrenal reaction. This is true for everyone. Some of us like to play with those facts as part of our sex life, other people prefer it in other contexts. Big whoop.

The reason I do what I do (more of which is inflicting than not) is the reason some people go bungee jumping or do Judo or drive 100 mph.

Frankly I think I'm less sick-in-the-head not more.

 

[Netzach]

I need to learn to read whole threads. Sorry for keeping this alive.

 

[sarah_rsl]

I've always been excited by having an element of violence mixed in with sex. It just sets off different parts of my brain, gets my heart rate up and just makes the whole experience much more exciting. A previous poster likened it to adventure sports which I'd have to agree with. For me I just enjoyed fighting and struggling the feeling of being overwhelmed with the actual sex just being the climax.

Anywho reading the previoius posters I have a few thoughts.

No not really. For example, if I were to kidnap someone, tie her and simply put it in without all the punching, slapping, kicking or verbal abuse is that considered consensual? No because its still humiliating her and taking something she doesn't want to give. I also like the idea of physical manipulation [teasing], making her body want it but not her mind.

This really seems to have brought out some strange responses from people. It's actually quite a common type of rape, where the rapist doesn't actually think it's as serious because he doesn't beat the woman while he rapes her. It's rape end of story the amount of violence is only an issue at sentencing.

I had a friend once that got involved in a violent arguement with a man, and it ended up with the guy beating her up. anyway at the end just to make a point he put his hand down her trousers and shoved his fingers into her. So when the police investigated they basically ignored the beating (she had actually hit him first) and charged him with rape, though the charges got reduced later. the reason I mention that incident is to make clear how careful people need to be mixing sex and violence and how things can get out of control.

 

[Tuomas]

It bothers me because I worry about their mental and physical well-being.

This is the kind of thing that bothers me. Because the unsaid message between the lines is: "you don't know what's good for you, so I need to tell you what to do". It's the basic idea behind autocrats and dictators: the suppose "worry" about people they don't know, who are doing something they don't understand.

Why do you worry about their mental and physical well-being?

I ask, because as it just happens, a few feet from my door there are bunch of kids drinking and smoking. They are obviously drunk in the middle of the day, clearly not gainfully employed and getting high on drugs. Shouldn't I worry about their mental and physical well-being? Shouldn't I go out there and question their motives? What is that makes people go to clubs, get drunk and sleep with someone whose name they will not remember the next day -if they remember they had sex at all? Is that "mentally and physically well"? Shouldn't someone go out there and stop them? Shouldn't you question their motives, and be intrigued by why they like that?

What about people who live in slums? Don't you wonder why they are poor, and what's wrong with their mental and physical well being? What about the rich kids who drink and drive? Don't you worry about their mental and physical well-being? Do you worry about the mental and physical well-being of the people who work for absurdly low wages in developing nations; people who join the marines and are routinely disciplined by their drill instructors?

Don't you think you worry a lot? Don't you think that I, as an EMT, officer of the court, should be worried about your mental and physical health seeing as all this worrying surely has given you hypotension, pain, headaches, irritability, worry and of course, an increased risk of heart attacks and embolism? Shouldn't I, as the very concerned and conscientious EMT tell you to go to your room and stop worrying about people you don't know, get some rest and live your life? Because, after all, at least I have some kind of credentials to validate why I should worry about you

 

[hazardchic]

I love it

I love to be spanked and have my hair pulled and smaked in the face called names to humiliate me drug around by the hair of my head made to crawl around on rice and do anything I am told. I am into the pain it adds loads to my pleasure and I love to have the bruises afterward...........

 

[bambikiller]

I've given and received.
But really what is pain, it's another form of stimulation, right?

When I had a girl tied to the luggage rack of a station wagon and we were going at it like wolfs in heat, she was bitting the shit out of my neck. It was great.

I've tortured breasts with clamps, wax and teeth.
I went with a girl who I could get off with almost spanking alone.
Ever whip a pussy?

When I've exspenced pain or given it, it wasn't a bad thing.
Is grabbing on to a fist full of long hair a pulling on it as you're pounding away at your girl from behind pain, a away of controll or just fun?

Pain is a subjective stimulation that your body response to differeenty depending upon the circumstances.

 

[ZoeBird]

I don't like to feel pain mixed with sexual activities at all. I am submissive in the bedroom, and I love that. But when my husband gets too rough and causes some *real* pain, I get instantly turned off. I almost feel like I should like the pain for some reason...like something is wrong with me because I dislike it. I don't know why, that's an odd feeling to have I think. I even ask him to hurt me, to see if I can find any enjoyment out of it but it doesn't work. I just do not like it. It makes me sad, because for some reason I wish that it brought me pleasure. I really do.

That's probably totally weird, right? lol

 

[vidmin]

I very much enjoy pain, just feels good to me, I like cbt, nipple play, ass play, wax. I guess it is just an escape. Would like to chat with those that like to give or get, male or female.

 

[Hotch]

I don't like to feel pain mixed with sexual activities at all. I am submissive in the bedroom, and I love that. But when my husband gets too rough and causes some *real* pain, I get instantly turned off. I almost feel like I should like the pain for some reason...like something is wrong with me because I dislike it. I don't know why, that's an odd feeling to have I think. I even ask him to hurt me, to see if I can find any enjoyment out of it but it doesn't work. I just do not like it. It makes me sad, because for some reason I wish that it brought me pleasure. I really do.

That's probably totally weird, right? lol

Some would say that finding pleasure in pain is not necessary. Pain is like a gift endured by the submissive to please their dominant. To this I say pffftttt!

Finding pleasure in pain takes a slow, deliberate effort. First and foremost you must remember that being in the right state of mind is the key to successful pain play. Pain is the body’s alarm system. Nature does not want you to enjoy pain, it wants you to take action to stop the pain. The physical side effect of pain that we exploit in BDSM is the release of endorphins. Like all good sex, it’s vital that you are in the right emotional state to maximize your pleasure. How you reach that state is different for everyone so you have to go with what works for you. Spend time with your partner working yourself up mentally to a high state of sexual arousal. When you start the physical sexual stimulation, also start a mild pain stimulus. The type of pain stimulus you pick should also be based on individual preference. It has to be something you can emotionally attach yourself to. Be it nipple clamps, spanking, face slapping, whatever, the mind has to be positively engaged in the activity. Any abrupt, sharp, unexpected pain will snap you out of the trance like state you’re moving towards and should be avoided. You’re trying to build up the stimulation slowly, allowing the release of endorphins to “dull” the pain and at the same time intensify your sexual arousal. As you gain more experience, you’ll be able to tolerate a higher level of pain. Nobody starts off by getting their ass welted and thinking everything went well.

 

[marieR19]

*shrugs* Personally I don't care if I can find pleasure with the pain or not... I like *not* liking the pain, if that makes sense.

 

[ZoeBird]

Some would say that finding pleasure in pain is not necessary. Pain is like a gift endured by the submissive to please their dominant. To this I say pffftttt!

Finding pleasure in pain takes a slow, deliberate effort. First and foremost you must remember that being in the right state of mind is the key to successful pain play. Pain is the body’s alarm system. Nature does not want you to enjoy pain, it wants you to take action to stop the pain. The physical side effect of pain that we exploit in BDSM is the release of endorphins. Like all good sex, it’s vital that you are in the right emotional state to maximize your pleasure. How you reach that state is different for everyone so you have to go with what works for you. Spend time with your partner working yourself up mentally to a high state of sexual arousal. When you start the physical sexual stimulation, also start a mild pain stimulus. The type of pain stimulus you pick should also be based on individual preference. It has to be something you can emotionally attach yourself to. Be it nipple clamps, spanking, face slapping, whatever, the mind has to be positively engaged in the activity. Any abrupt, sharp, unexpected pain will snap you out of the trance like state you’re moving towards and should be avoided. You’re trying to build up the stimulation slowly, allowing the release of endorphins to “dull” the pain and at the same time intensify your sexual arousal. As you gain more experience, you’ll be able to tolerate a higher level of pain. Nobody starts off by getting their ass welted and thinking everything went well.

That is some great advice, thank you. I think maybe I have been looking at it all wrong. Or at least approaching it wrong. What you said makes a lot of sense.