Short poems: examples + discussion

[butters]

i'll say no more on the subject, then, except this: it's regrettable if anyone's sensibilities have been hurt. i wouldn't wish that. it's also recognisable that tragic and dreadful events in human history spawn poetry. as a poem, it's strong. i've not seen others objecting to 9/11 material which is far closer in our timeline and equally shocking.

 

[Senna Jawa]

it's the only interpretation [of SJ's recent red-green haiku] i have. perhaps you could enlighten me, as i'm lost in the snow.

Corndog's interpretation of my red-green haiku is close to mine. You walk through snow in a city. You pay attention to the red and green traffic lights. But be aware of a car which may hit you anyway.

re corndog's: why?

I'll post a general discussion about communication, and about art versus reality relation, in litblog 2014++.

Best regards,

 

[butters]

Corndog's interpretation of my red-green haiku is close to mine. You walk through snow in a city. You pay attention to the red and green traffic lights. But be aware of a car which may hit you anyway.


I'll post a general discussion about communication, and about art versus reality relation, in litblog 2014++.

Best regards,

ah! i didn't see the traffic lights thing at all... might be because i don't drive and saw, instead, the red and green of holly. naturally, once you've put the scenario in my head, it's as clear as day and seems the only meaning. i wonder if i would have got it if the colour amber had been introduced, or some title to point me in the right direction. clearly corndog didn't need those same pointers and got to where you intended him. sorry

 

[Senna Jawa]

ah! i didn't see the traffic lights thing at all... might be because i don't drive and saw, instead, the red and green of holly. naturally, once you've put the scenario in my head, it's as clear as day and seems the only meaning. i wonder if i would have got it if the colour amber had been introduced, or some title to point me in the right direction.

"Holly" adds another timely flavor to it. The red and green traffic lights are a well established cliche, I'd think--it wouldn't occur to me to have amber, while indeed, I like amber, nice color.

I wanted to keep this haiku real short, hence no title (in general haiku don't have titles), nor any extra, just a bare minimum. A little at the reader's expense.

clearly corndog didn't need those same pointers and got to where you intended him. sorry

After your butters interpretation of my previous haiku you're way ahead of the game anyway!!!

Best,

 

[eagleyez]

short poems
are
like mandolins.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

A Brevette

Coffee
m.o.t.i.v.a.t.e.s
mornings.

 

[butters]

short poems
are
like mandolins.

a back arcs
in perfect fifths
fretted, plucked

 

[HarryHill]

short poems
are
like mandolins.

a back arcs
in perfect fifths
fretted, plucked

Sister Viola
plucked arpeggio
shineola