Similies - fill in the blank

[Svenskaflicka]

"As quick as..."



"...a one-night-stand leaves your apartment in the morning."

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

As quick as ...

... the tooth fairy in an old peoples home.

 

[Guest]

As quick as . . .

my four-year-old son's scampering feet.

 

[wildsweetone]

Hiya Bridget! hope you're doing okay *hug* i liked your 'Cold as...' and 'Warm as...' similies.

MG i tried doing the stopwatch trick... could only make it to .10 or some such thing. man those NY cabbies are quick!

Svenska, you didn't time one did you? NOOOOO i don't want to know! *wicked wink*

GL - now that's cute

SweetSubSarahh, just wait until he turns 13... man they can sure run fast then




Next:


As slow as...

 

[Weird Harold]

As slow as...

... molasses in january when when it's like realy cold and the wind causes those really cold drafts around the doors and windows, and like, the trees always drop snow down your neck when you have to go outisde and gather sticks and stuff, 'cause, like, the power went out and you have to get all primitive and such and use a real fire to keep warm, except if you get too close to the fire, you can like, get too warm.

 

[TheEarl]

As quick as Paddy Ashdowne sex.

For the inevitable questions: Paddy Ashdowne is a retired English politician who has become slightly infamous after stating in his autobiography that 'Sex never really bothered him that much, because it rarely lasted longer than 17 second anyway.'

As slow as Matt Perry on the counter attack

For the inevitable questions: Matt Perry used to play fullback for England at rugby. Fullback is a position where you are often expected to pick up the ball close to your own goalline and counterattack. However Mr Perry seemed to be afraid of getting tackled and so had a miraculous ability to stop on a sixpence before getting anywhere near an opposition player, making him the world's slowest counterattacker, cause he never got anywhere.

This should really have gone in the slang thread, as I do use those expressions quite a bit, but no-one on here will get the joke.

The Earl

 

[Otus de la Nuit]

Quick as a dog in North Dakota.

We have the quickest dogs on the planet. The sparsely distributed trees make running to find the next restroom a perpetual task.

Thus...

Slow as a north dakota lumberjack's workweek. *shrugs*

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"As slow as..."

"...a drunk guy trying to come."

 

[DurtGurl]

Re: As slow as...

... molasses in january when when it's like realy cold and the wind causes those really cold drafts around the doors and windows, and like, the trees always drop snow down your neck when you have to go outisde and gather sticks and stuff, 'cause, like, the power went out and you have to get all primitive and such and use a real fire to keep warm, except if you get too close to the fire, you can like, get too warm.

Dear Mr Harold,
I love your succinctuosity and you're briefs.
DG

 

[Vincent E]

As slow as ... a city employee returning from lunch.
As slow as ... shit sliding uphill.
As slow as ... my tax refund.
As slow as ... twenty minutes on a treadmill.
As slow as ... a proctologist on downers.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

As a kid I had an experience with dry ice. This gave me the curious notion that the temperature scale was somehow cyclical: that once things got cold enough they actually became hot again.

Therefore I like 'burning cold'.

Quick? Faster than stink on shit.

Hot? Hotter than the devil's own pizza oven. (Used that in a hard-boiled dick story)

Closer than white on rice

And then there's always: as quiet as a rat licking butter.


---dr.M.

 

[wildsweetone]

Well folks, we're doing great. I'm loving your similies.



Now to stretch the braincells a little more...





As twisted as...

 

[TheEarl]

As twisted as...

...my imagination?
...asking someone to spank you with a live chicken?
...running naked through the streets covered in green jello?

Bet no-one can name the film quote in the last one.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Re: As twisted as...

...running naked through the streets covered in green jello?

Bet no-one can name the film quote in the last one.

The Earl

Demolition Man

(sounds kinda fun, by the way!)

 

[TheEarl]

That's scary. I've done this about 3 times and each time, someone had come up with the answer within 5 minutes.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

That's scary. I've done this about 3 times and each time, someone had come within 5 minutes.

The Earl

Wow! Impressive!

 

[TheEarl]

Well, I aim to please.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Well, I aim to please.

The Earl

And apparently you do!

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

as twisted as ...

... weasel DNA
... Politician DNA

 

[gauchecritic]

As twisted as..

Chubby Checkers checked trousers.

If you get that one you're older than you admit.

Gauche

 

[TheEarl]

Over the head.

The Earl

 

[wildsweetone]

Gauche i get it. *sigh*

TheEarl over the head? Nah, that was R and R.

GL, yours make sense. That's a worry.



come on, keep them rolling




As shrivelled as...

 

[Guest]

As shrivelled as...

Methuselah's nutsack

(You know, that old guy from the Bible!)

 

[TheEarl]

As shrivelled as...

A large tomato after you've sucked all the pips out of it.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

What's a pip?