Since most of my friends are on this forum...

[Emerson40]

MISSING

http://24.media.tumblr.com/d052c3436175b1438b343f72c4326cba/tumblr_miuy606Ert1r63m56o2_500.jpg
Female, with friendly disposition (unless provoked)

Name: BeachMomma (also answers to Beach LAAAADDYY)
Last Seen: By the hot tub, several days ago.

No reward. If returned - no questions, no police.​

 

[Saucyminx]

Maybe if we put out a trail of small bottles of flavored vodkas. . . .

 

[BeachMomma]

The flavored vodkas did the trick!

Sorry to worry y'all. I've been struggling again the past couple of days. I had a chest pain attack Tuesday night. Took the NTG and baby aspirin like I'm supposed to. Almost immediately I could feel my feet swelling. The nitro dilates all my blood vessels, so the fluid shift begins. My feet try to do their inflatable life raft impersonations and fluid builds up in my lungs. It wears me out just to walk from the bed to the bathroom.

The feet are back to normal today, but I'm still not breathing as comfortably as I'd like. Of course, my poor heart is trying to compensate for the lack of oxygen, so it's beating its little heart out. Pardon the pun. When I took my vital signs 10 minutes ago, AT COMPLETE REST, my heart rate was 124.

I have to go back to work tomorrow. My department is roughly the size of a football field. How the HELL am I supposed to manage running up and down that thing all day when I can't tolerate walking to the damned bathroom?

 

[BeachMomma]

Em, I just noticed your sig line. “They told me that to make her fall in love I had to make her laugh. But everytime she laughs I’m the one who falls in love.”

That's absolutely beautiful. You and Mrs Em have something special.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Well Beachie, I've got something to cheer you up. If it doesn't immediately cheer you up, it will shortly. And by that I mean when Rainshine stops being a lazy fucker and gets out of bed to come here and take a massive wee on me.

But you all asked for it. So... Here ya go:

CLICK FOR TOTALLY HETERO SHOE COLLECTION

 

[Emerson40]

Pmann, you are indeed a riddle wrapped up in an enigma.

I have never met someone so proud, confident, and vehement about his heterosexuality, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

The rub being that most, if not all of the abundant evidence referenced has been graciously and generously provided by you.





＼　　　　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　　　　　|　　　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　　(⌒ ⌒ヽ　　　/
　　　　＼　　（´⌒　　⌒　　⌒ヾ　　　／
　　　　　 （’⌒　;　⌒　　　::⌒　　）
　　　　　（´　　　　　）　　　　　:::　）　／
　　☆─　（´⌒;:　　　　::⌒`）　:;　　）
　　　　　（⌒::　　　::　　　　　::⌒　）
　　 　／　（　　　　ゝ　　ヾ　丶　　ソ　─

..............HETEROSEXUAL STEREOTYPE ....................

 

[Lord Pmann]

Pmann, you are indeed a riddle wrapped up in an enigma.

I have never met someone so proud, confident, and vehement about his heterosexuality, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

The rub being that most, if not all of the abundant evidence referenced has been graciously and generously provided by you.





\　　　　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　　　　　|　　　　　☆
　　　　　　　　　　(⌒ ⌒ヽ　　　/
　　　　\　　(´⌒　　⌒　　⌒ヾ　　　/
　　　　　 (’⌒　;　⌒　　　::⌒　　)
　　　　　(´　　　　　)　　　　　:::　)　/
　　☆─　(´⌒;:　　　　::⌒`)　:;　　)
　　　　　(⌒::　　　::　　　　　::⌒　)
　　 　/　(　　　　ゝ　　ヾ　丶　　ソ　─

..............HETEROSEXUAL STEREOTYPE ....................

The funny thing is, the one person who can provide more evidence of which you speak, is also the one that can confirm my heterosexuality more than anyone. I'm a real head scratcher, I am.

As Rainshine would say, "we are who we are". She's being really patronizing when she says it though.

 

[Emerson40]

The funny thing is, the one person who can provide more evidence of which you speak, is also the one that can confirm my heterosexuality more than anyone. I'm a real head scratcher, I am.

As Rainshine would say, "we are who we are". She's being really patronizing when she says it though.

I hear you. And I love you just the way you are.

But I also have this imagined image of you, sitting there in your bathroom among lettered towels you don't use, and a vanity (heh-heh) cabinet full of "product", wondering which shoes you are going to wear today, and fighting the constant desire to add to your selfie collection.

Head scratcher indeed.


http://24.media.tumblr.com/46af0a4980e96d1d824facb6ab8dbfa1/tumblr_mq8xsaAnEH1qgwqw9o1_500.gif

 

[BeachMomma]

StickMann, you claim to be a Floridian, but you've got way too many dress shoes. If you really are a Floridian, you must be at least metrosexual. I don't know anybody here who has more dress shoes than flip flops.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm sure everyone will agree with me about your shoes, just as they do about your decorative towels.

You still love me though.

 

[BeachMomma]

I'm still waiting to see Rainy come take that massive wee on ya. I don't think she will; I think you'd enjoy it too much.

 

[Lord Pmann]

^^^^
There are many things I am into. I can assure you wee of that variety isn't one of them.

Plus, we all know I'm pretty vanilla. Practically a virgin.

 

[BeachMomma]

^^^^
There are many things I am into. I can assure you wee of that variety isn't one of them.

Plus, we all know I'm pretty vanilla. Practically a virgin.

I've heard that rumor. It's written on the wall of the ladies' room.

I also heard that it was in your handwriting.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've heard that rumor. It's written on the wall of the ladies' room.

I also heard that it was in your handwriting.

Rainshine can attest to my innocence. She even said something about my purity, once. It was very sweet and beautiful.

 

[BeachMomma]

Rainshine can attest to my innocence. She even said something about my purity, once. It was very sweet and beautiful.

Are you sure Rainy said it? Maybe you said it - using Rainy's passy.

Once, huh? That's not what I'd call a convincing testimony of your purity.....

 

[Lord Pmann]

Are you sure Rainy said it? Maybe you said it - using Rainy's passy.

Once, huh? That's not what I'd call a convincing testimony of your purity.....

See Rainshne's above post. *sticks out tongue*

 

[BeachMomma]

See Rainshne's above post. *sticks out tongue*

That says nothing about your purity, my friend. You're one of the filthiest fuckers, I know.

*sticks tongue out in StickMann's general direction*

Rainy

 

[Lord Pmann]

That says nothing about your purity, my friend. You're one of the filthiest fuckers, I know.

Hello pot. Meet kettle. You're both black.

One of the filthiest fuckers... You must be the filthiest. You must be. I came here on a cloud with a halo, flapping my beautiful angel wings and strumming my harp.

 

[Lord Pmann]

You are exempt from all smart mouthed Rainshine comments for 24 hours after the beautiful gift you delivered into my tiny little hands today. Also, because you have put up with my shit for a year now and love me anyway.

24 hours. Make the most of it.

*leaves Lit for 24 hours* hehehehe

Can I have 48 hours? Please? 48? I won't be around much today because of my concert.

 

[BeachMomma]

Good Lord, you two are adorable.

*sings* And the countdown starts. 4...3...2...1...

 

[Lord Pmann]

OK.... you can have a week. Starting now.

Is this a test?!?!

 

[Lord Pmann]

No debts, no tests.

I'm gonna post the gayest shit imaginable.

 

[BeachMomma]

I'm gonna post the gayest shit imaginable.

Sugar, she promised not to give you shit. Nobody else did.

It's open season on the StickMann! WOOHOOO!

 

[BeachMomma]

Thank God for you guys.

That's what friends are for.

 

[BeachMomma]

Thank God for you guys.

Oh, by the way, Rainy,

If/when you see him post the gayest shit imaginable, please link me. I'll be honored to do your dirty work in your stead.