Soliloquium: Reflections on my World.

[Annisthyrienne]

*Late at night, Christmas eve, sneaking into the private sanctum of my friend to leave a little gift for her. Of Elvish craft, it's enchantment will aid her skill in caring for plant life of all kinds. Her garden will flourish, and bear fruit and bloom, verdant foliage will abound.*

Merry Christmas, Yeishia!

 

[yeishia]

*Late at night, Christmas eve, sneaking into the private sanctum of my friend to leave a little gift for her. Of Elvish craft, it's enchantment will aid her skill in caring for plant life of all kinds. Her garden will flourish, and bear fruit and bloom, verdant foliage will abound.*

Merry Christmas, Yeishia!

I slipped back into Soliloquium and stopped dead as I saw the exquisite gift awaiting me from my friend Thyri.

Sometimes when Lit becomes as lonely as your real word you begin to wonder if you truly belong in either one. That is how I had felt of late especially now that my son was gone to Italy for Christmas and New Year. I wanted to disappear and in some respects I had chosen to remain alone in my real world folding my solitude around me like a protective cloak.


The fact remained that I was lonely…

The fact remained that I was weary and felt chilled down to my very bones.

The fact remained that I had become one of the walking dead of late.


Picking up the beautiful gift with trembling fingers I placed it around my neck immediately feeling its healing strength.

"Thank you so very much my friend, that you did this for me...you have no idea how much this means.."

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. I was wearing a long white floaty sheath like dress Riders white rope still wrapped around my hips and waist like a silken girdle. The pink pearls Veroe had given me rested around my neck side by side with the Wood-Elve's necklace Thyri had just given me. I was of course barefoot.

With the red rose behind my ear my tawny ways flowing down my back I felt I looked enchanted like some ghostly fairy book character come to life.

Smiling I placed my hand over my heart atop the exquisite jewelery . My heart began to pound sending a blessed warmth throughout my soul. As I gazed at my reflection I saw the color return to my cheeks once more.

The potent magic of her gift or the special essence what was hers alone it mattered not it was like she had read my mind.

I so needed this small connection on this day of all days. I glanced at the small sticker Veroe had placed on my mirror. I was beautiful, I was loved! I giggled softly we all knew that I was pretty ordinary in the looks department. Veroe was very kind I loved that most about his nature.


I had baked virtual cookies, prepared eggnog, even cut a tree. It had been my intent to have a small social gathering to place many presents under the tree and watch as people enjoyed their gifts. This thread was for my closest friend and those I trusted, but I knew that I would exclude no one during this special season it was not my nature to be cruel.

In the end I had hesitated after the failure of my Secret Santa thread; there would always be someone intent on inflicting their hurt on another.

I was sick of the perpetual Lit drama it never ceased ... thankfully for the most part it mow lurked in the underbelly of Lit where it could simply be ignored.

I need tranquility & peace

I hope to remain in good health,

I desire to be always loved by a special someone.

This is my wish for the New Year! not just for myself but for every single person here on Lit.
​

"Thank you again Thyri you helped me center myself once more."
​

​

 

[yeishia]

For you an your Love. Mistletoe.

I had brought her gift over from my club.

"Thank you Cheska I simply adore Mistletoe."

I place the plaque on the wall and hang a spring in the entrance to Soll ...

You never know

 

[yeishia]

A single rose and a long string of pearls for my grand champion and high priestess.

This special gift belonged here and nowhere else.

 

[Veroe]

This special gift belonged here and nowhere else.

Thank you very much Yeishia.

I wish you a terrific and very merry christmas and a happy new year too.

 

[yeishia]

Thank you so very much Veroe, I of course wis the very same hings for you, I hope that you get to spend this special time with the people whom you love.

I wanted to thank you for the exquisite pieces that you are placing in my Bliss Gallery , that you are keeping my beloved thread alive is a constant source of joy to me,

 

[yeishia]

 

[Veroe]

Thank you so very much Veroe, I of course wis the very same hings for you, I hope that you get to spend this special time with the people whom you love.

I wanted to thank you for the exquisite pieces that you are placing in my Bliss Gallery , that you are keeping my beloved thread alive is a constant source of joy to me,

No problem. We will surely both have fantastic new years now that we've wished them upon eachother.

It's my pleasure. Looking for pics that fit in one of the collections is a fun activity for me, and I keep trying to string that perfect run of submissions to it where I finally remember to center all of them and correctly put in the right title and everything.

 

[Last_Rider]

I walk into Sol, instantly spying the misletoe that resides above the doorway. Smiling I find the loose end of the rope that adorns my love and pull her towards me. I have been detained by the real world for far too long. I want my love, even if for only a moment to share a kiss.

 

[yeishia]

I feel the persistent tug at my waist and turn surprised to see him standing there....

Unsure if he is simply a figment of my imagination I simply go with the flow as he pulls me towards the mistletoe that I had forgotten to remove.

I smile sadly knowing now that this must be a dream, the man I loved needed no artifice to take what was his by right.

As our lips touch sparks fly, his tempting image fading away as if it had never happened...the brief seductive touch a cruel tease.

Sadly I remove the mistletoe and drop it into the waste basket... if my mind was playing tricks it needed no help this night.

I wander over to my writing desk where still lays the photo I had left for him a few days ago, should he return it would be the very first thing that would catch his eye.

Smiling wistfully, still bare foot I push open the french doors and step out into our secret garden.

It is snowing a walk will clear my mind of its fanciful notions, maybe when I can stand the cold no longer I will take a dip in the outdoor hot tub.

As I walk the silken rope continues to unravel from my slender hips to fall unheeded into the pristine snow...​

 

[yeishia]

By the time I had arrived at my pond at the very end of which was carved out my small hot tub I was naked goosebumps scattered over my flushed skin my puffy nipples standing in sharp relief atop my rounded breasts.

Thankfully I sank into the warm waters sighing with relief. I loved this hot spring but the trip there could be quite hair-raising in the winter. I lay back smiling ... Mmmmmm ... it was so very worth it. As I lay there luxuriating in the warmth my mind sifting over the events of the last few day silent tears began to fall until with out realizing it I had begun to sob.

I allowed myself to slowly sink beneath the waters my eyes still open allowing me to see my hair as it fanned out on the surface looking very much alive as it frolicked and played in the warm bubbles. I stayed there as long as I could wishing I could simply fade out of existence right here in my favorite place until gasping I resurfaced.

I was a fighter!

Leaning back against the smooth rock I had chosen I forced myself to relax my fingers stroking the smooth skin of my bare neck as I idly watched as my body floated free my now warm nipples playing peek a boo amongst the frothy bubbles. I wished I had had the foresight to bring a thermos of hot chocolate or some sparkling wine...alcohol dulled the senses did it not. I wanted to loose myself in this moment.

So many sparking stars twinkling amongst the falling snow drops ...so beautiful. I smiled softly as they landed on my long eyelashes only to quickly vanish as they became one with the heavenly water that seemed to lovingly caresss every inch of me.

Star light, star bright,
The first star I see tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight....

Maybe he would understand my needs ... a first test I supposed.

My eyes fluttered closed as I drifted off into a dream world of my own choosing...

 

[yeishia]

the beauty and innocence reminds me of Yeishia

I was unsure if she was teasing me but I simply adored the picture that baby girl had found for me and placed it with loving care on the wall.

I saw the essence of who I was in my heart, in her face and demeanor.

I dearly hoped nothing would cause me to change.

I would carry that girl into my old age and to my grave if God willed it so.​

 

[yeishia]

Star light, star bright,
The first star I see tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight....

Maybe he would understand my needs ... a first test I supposed.

My eyes fluttered closed as I drifted off into a dream world of my own choosing...

I relaxed in the water dearly hoping that my dark angel would join me soon. Suddenly my eyes flew open as I realized that midnight was fast approaching bringing with it the New Year.

I smiled sadly, we all awaited its arrival in our own way my love seemed to prefer to spend it in the lounges. I would celebrate it here with my beloved fish which I could see swimming under a thin layer of ice in the pool beside me.

I saw upcoming year as one filled with infinite possibilities; even if I did not reach out my hand to grasp them they would be always there.

Giggling like a young schoolgirl I made the naked dash through the snow and back into Soll proper to grab a bottle of champagne and two glasses (just in case he changed his mind) With foresight this time I added a thermos of hot chocolate and a huge terry wrap. Soon I was ensconced back in the seductive warmth of the hot tube awaiting the arrival of the New Year

5… 4… 3… 2… 1 …and I was popping the cork and toasting in the New Year and to my absolute delight fireworks began to cavort across the sky in wild abandon…my own private display .

I smiled happily as I slipped my bubbly. I was lucky I was loved in both of the realms I adored by very special people whom I held close to my heart. I would have loved to have shared this delightful moment with my Rider but respected his need to wander the boards this night.

I wasn’t one to make resolutions but knew if I were to maintain my health I would need to make some serious changes in the upcoming months, back to eating better, back to Yoga and meditation… I had no wish to die this year.

Relaxed yet pensive I watched the heavenly display loath to leave this blessed place. I would sip my champagne, nibble on some strawberries finishing off with some hot chocolate …

Only then I would return to the warmth of Soliloquium.

Maybe on the morrow I would take a trip to Serendipity there I would be able to catch up with my writing in a world designed to nurture the imagination. It was a lush tropical world pull of possibilities...

 

[Last_Rider]

I have been neglecting my beloved Mistress, so many things I need to improve upon. I slide into the hot tub beside her, then pull her close. We can move forward though, learning from the past and making the future that much brighter.

"Happy New Year my Mistress."

 

[yeishia]

As I feel him enter the tub I maneuver him so that he is behind me relaxing as both his arms and strong legs encircle my slight frame. Closing my eyes I lean back against him truly relaxing for the first in many days. I am unsure where we are headed or if I can even be what he truly needs but right now I am content to be here with my beloved.

Sometimes one tries and fails no matter how much you love someone, the hopeless thought saddens me...

My hands seek out his and I press them to my heart, my breath catches I have no words to express the depth of love I have for my dark angel,my beloved pet.

 

[Last_Rider]

I easily hold her against me, reveling in the softness of her skin and closeness of her touch. She takes my hand and rests it on her heart, my eyes close to savor the feel. I want this, this feeling to last forever.

"I love you Mistress."

My cheek rests against the top of her head, I don't want to ever let go.

 

[Veroe]

A present for you Yeishia I'm sure you'll know when and just whom you'll wear it for.

Go and knock Rider's socks off gorgeous​

 

[yeishia]

The last time I had been in Solliquiuim after we has enjoyed the hot tub we has run hand in hand giggling through the show to snuggle before the roaring fire sipping our hot chocolate. It seemed like a life time ago...

Here I was returning with yet another small body nestled gently in the palm of my hand. The snow had thawed somewhat as I made my way back along the pathways of my secret garden to the small magical pond that I had crafted with loving care a year ago. Death is so final and yet I has created this place where it no longer existed.

Since coming to lit I has slowly created my own perfect world, one where my spirit showed as true physical beauty, a place where I had hoped to be enough for the man I loved, a place where I could hide, heal and thrive away from the harsh realities of my real world.

Today my real world was intruding and my slight body was wracked with small sobs as I made my slow way to my destination. Kneeling before the small pond I made a largish hole in the thin covering of ice my heart warming as Lady swam up to greet me, "no food today , I have brought you back your mate."

Gently I lowered him into the warm waters smiling through my tears as I felt him move between my finger tips and rejoin his lost love. Discus mate for life Big Red was where he truly belonged, for the briefest of moments I envied him his perfect bond...it was unbreakable even into death!

As I watched them swim away size by side I was beset my another bout of sobs as I thought of cgraven, if only this magic could work in the real world I could simply wash away his illness and make him whole again...

I thought of my dark angel and my sobs continued... for how long I knelt there arms wrapped around my trembling body I have no knowledge but when my tears subsided I made my way reluctantly back to the warmth of the fireplace indoors. I had never felt so totally alone.

The package immediately caught my puffy eyes with trembling fingers I undid the package to reveal the most beautiful and sensuous gown I had ever seen it was exquisite it was perfection.

A present for you Yeishia I'm sure you'll know when and just whom you'll wear it for.

Go and knock Rider's socks off gorgeous​

" Veroe it is be beautiful ,"

I whisper my tired eyes shinning with delight. He was like my shinning knight always seeming to know when I had need of his services. Sitting down before the fire I re-read his note clutching the gown to my bosom I began to cry again earnest .Why did the pain of the real world have to intrude on m the fantasy world I had fashioned for myself the fates were indeed cruel to have followed me here. Still here I had control right?

I would banish them!

I wiped away my tears and moved to stand before the long mirror the gorgeous dress held before me like a protective shield. I would take a cleansing shower don this exquisite dress and have one of my chefs prepare me a raw feast in The Platinum Lounge. I would refuse to allow pain to follow me there...the fates could go to hell!

"Que Sera Sera, " and I was gone to reappear in the Vassal Academy Club...

 

[yeishia]

Returning to Soll is so very hard but I am resisting the urge to hide away in Serendipity and to simply let the month of February pass by without me in it.

I make myself a mango smoothie, flip on the Bose to the last song I had been listening to before I fled this place and curl up in the corner of the couch staring into the dancing flames my mind a blank.

How can one feel so alone when one is loved?


Don't Wanna Lose You

Gloria Estefan –


Sometimes It's hard to make things clear
Or know when to face the truth
And I know when the moment is here
I'll open my heart and show you inside
My love has no pride
I feel with you I've got nothing to hide
So open your eyes and see who I am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself, myself


I don't want to lose you now
We're going to get through somehow
I don't want to lose you now or ever
'Cause baby I’ve finally found
The courage to stand my ground
But if you want me, I'll be around forever

We all make mistakes
We all lose our way
But we stood the test of time and I hope
That's the way it will stay

It's all up to you, to tell me to go
Because it won't be me to walk away
When you're all that I know
And I know…

I don't want to lose you now
We're going to get through somehow
I don't want to lose you now or ever
'Cause baby I’ve finally found
The courage to stand my ground
But if you want me, I'll be around forever...

​

 

[Last_Rider]

I follow my Angel, I can feel her, sense her. She looks relaxed, smoothie in hand, relaxing on a couch. I move beside her, one arm around her shoulder. The music floats around us as we relax together.

"I am sorry I've been distant my love."

My eyes close softly, her warm body beside mine. I adore this woman, more than anything in the world.

 

[yeishia]

​

 

[Last_Rider]

"It's true my love, patience is required, and I thank you for having it with me."

"I saw it and thought of us, I hope you like it"

 

[yeishia]

"I saw it and thought of us, I hope you like it"

It is sheer perfection I am happy you made the time to leave it for me.

"I am sorry I've been distant my love."

"The choice has been yours not mine my love, I remain steadfast as always. In case you choose to continue along this path I am leaving your card here tonight.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentines Day tomorrow. "

If You Forget Me

"I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine."

Pablo Neruda

Your Sensual Angel

Waits patiently...
​

 

[yeishia]

 

[yeishia]

I stole this from the thread in which you placed it because I had created that thread for people who do not have their own spaces or didn't feel comfortable leaving gifts in closed threads.

I have more than one thread most of whom you share with me...I felt it belonged in one of ours so much more intimate. *smiles softly *

For my love, my Angel

That's All I ask of You Phantom of the Opera.
(sorry, you have to click)

Thank you my love for the lovely sentiment...