Soliloquium: Reflections on my World.

[Ravenloft]

Last one for now, but I think you'll really, REALLY like this one!

Amber Benson - Under Your Spell

"I lived my life in shadow
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light
Something just isn't right"

 

[Ravenloft]

Early One Morning - Old English Folk Song

Early one morning, just as the sun was rising
I heard a maiden call from the valley below.

Oh don't deceive me, Oh never leave me,
How could you use a poor maiden so?

Remember the vows that you made to your Mary
Remember the bower where you vowed you'd be true.

Modern composition of the song.

 

[Ravenloft]

James Marsters - Rest In Peace

 

[Ravenloft]

Anthony Stewart & Amber Benson Head - Standing in the Way/Under Your Spell

 

[Ravenloft]

Amanda Palmer - In My Mind

 

[yeishia]

Thank you so very much Raven I am really enjoying myself listening to the music you are sharing with me.Much of them really lifted my spirits , one or two hit hard.

By the way I love the words in your siggie where do they come from

Listen carefully to the
sound of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat .. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering

I might steal them and change them up a bit

Listen carefully to the
sound of my loneliness
Like a heartbeat .. driving me mad
In the stillness of remembering
I live and die alone...

It's so good that someone is posting in my thread ...thank you so much

 

[Ravenloft]

I know I can pick some pretty raw and emotional material. I think ever since I've been out of work I've been feeling kind of broken down and emotionally raw myself, so this painfully emotional music has really been speaking to me, you know? Sarah McLachlan once said that there is a certain beauty in sorrow. I would have to agree with her.

Ah, my tag line comes from Fleetwood Mac's song, Dreams.

1997 concert performance

Go ahead, get me started on how much I absolutely LOVE Stevie Nicks! I dare ya. You do have all day, right? LOL!

The Corrs - Dreams (Cover)

I almost hate to say it, but I think that the Corrs may have performed the song just a little bit better than the original. I'm sorry Stevie, I'm so, so sorry. I feel like I've betrayed you as a fan. *Sob*

 

[Ravenloft]

I'm going to share a few more videos and you're totally going to fall in love with The Corrs!

Breathless

Toss the Feathers

Runaway

Forgiven Not Forgotten

 

[Ravenloft]

Intimacy

Goodbye

Angel

Summer Wine

Give Me A Reason

 

[Last_Rider]

Another little something I found and thought of you my love. I'll leave it here while I relax on the couch and wait for you to return.

 

[yeishia]

Another little something I found and thought of you my love. I'll leave it here while I relax on the couch and wait for you to return.

Thank you the woman in the picture is truly beautiful...

 

[yeishia]

I know I can pick some pretty raw and emotional material. I think ever since I've been out of work I've been feeling kind of broken down and emotionally raw myself, so this painfully emotional music has really been speaking to me, you know? Sarah McLachlan once said that there is a certain beauty in sorrow. I would have to agree with her.

Ah, my tag line comes from Fleetwood Mac's song, Dreams.

1997 concert performance

Go ahead, get me started on how much I absolutely LOVE Stevie Nicks! I dare ya. You do have all day, right? LOL!

The Corrs - Dreams (Cover)

I almost hate to say it, but I think that the Corrs may have performed the song just a little bit better than the original. I'm sorry Stevie, I'm so, so sorry. I feel like I've betrayed you as a fan. *Sob*

I have been raw and emotional all weekend your choices have been inspired its almost as if you crawled inside my head...

Not a pretty place to be right now!

I'll give you my thoughts on each song when my head clears and I get some time this week.

Thank you

 

[yeishia]

Yesterday was an exhausting day for me. I truly enjoy the work that I do it is infact a labor of love. Yet by the end of my workweek, I had found myself mentally and physically exhausted sad really when one considers I have only just returned from vacation. It was Friday evening. I always plan to go and take some sort of exercise. Go to my yoga go anywhere... and it never happens simply because I'm too tired to make the trip.

Last night, however, I was determined, I gathered my things together went off to take a Moksha hot yoga class. This is a special class which which tries to balance the ying and yang, as a rule I adore it.

All can say is I'm so happy that I went as I left the class I was feeling better than I have in a long time and for Friday evening I was energized. I was calm, nothing was hurting, the evening was full of promise....

I returned home. I prepared myself a light vegetarian supper and logged on to Lit hoping that there would be a response to my IM, hoping to spend some time with my love. Of course that wasn't to be, once again had disappeared to wherever, it could have been the real world, it could have been into the underbelly of lit. Who knows. As a rule this would've sadden me, last night I simply accepted the inevitable....

This morning I awoke still feeling refreshed as I wandered into my home away from home on lit and made myself a green smoothie for breakfast and for a few seconds seconds sat in front of the glowing fire as I looked for word from Rider...none. I smiled softly.

A practitioner had read to us a quote at the end of class and it had resonated deeply within me. So much so that I have decided to share it here on lit. I also planned also on putting it in my Quote of the Day thread. For the moment, however, I put my green smoothie down on small coffee table at the end of the couch and made my way to the mirror.

I smiled again as I read the words Veroe had posted there...that I am beautiful.

I am!

I added the quote from Michael Stone underneath it.

"Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time passes swiftly and opportunity is lost.
Let us awaken.
Awaken!
Do not squander your many precious moments."​

Smiling happily I returned to my writing desk, I wouldn't squander this moment, a moment when I was calm and serene on wishing for things that would never change.

I would not waste this precious moment on wondering whether my love had gone somewhere important in the real world or on worrying if he was he sick at home or once again going through a personal crisis. When he left with no word which he often did, I wasted so many moments like this.

If he wanted... needed me , he knew exactly where I was.

Unfortunately I was fairly predictable, I could feel myself blushing at this admission... when I deviated from my normal routine I of course let him know, not wanting him to worry.

This day. I would assume that he was simply busy and had forgotten once again to let me know. Today I simply would write…

It was a glorious Saturday Montréal. The sun was shining and after I had written I planned on heading out with my dogs for long relaxing walk.

I adored my dark Angel, but I could no longer squander my many precious moments ...I simply couldn't.

It takes a lot of effort to make change.I have been working on reconnecting with the woman I truly am for the past three years; self understanding,and personal change doesn't happen overnight i know this. Yet the thought that change is possible, that life for me is still full of possibility is an exciting concept.

"Awaken..."

I do hope I can.

Lit has been dragging me down of late I shall no longer allow this to occur!

I open up my laptop, attach my headset and begin to dictate, I owe CGRaven his long-awaited post and after that? I'll guess we'll see…

Namasta​

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[Last_Rider]

I haven't been here in far too long, this is my home here on Lit, and every time I walk through the doors I am reminded of that fact. I find my Angel here, at her writing desk. I walk across the room and quietly wrap my arms around her from behind and place a soft kiss on her neck.

"I am sorry for my absences my Angel, I need you as much as you need me."

 

[yeishia]

My stress melts away as I feel his lips on my neck and the unique scent of him filling my senses.

I stand and with in seconds am in his arms my body pressed closely to his. "You are home now," I whisper softly against his chest as I feel his arms press me closer still.

 

[Last_Rider]

I hold my Angel close, breathing in her scent, feeling her heart beating against mine. This is right.

"Yes, I am."

My lips touch the top of her head as we just hold the embrace, feeling each other.

 

[yeishia]

Time stands frozen and I am content to stay this way here as we both catch up in the real world.

And catch up we did

 

[Ravenloft]

This one's a real heart wrencher. It made my mom cry when she read the lyrics.

Amanda Palmer - The Bed Song

 

[yeishia]

Beautiful song, thank you so much

 

[yeishia]

I had had a conversation here on Lit yesterday, it had stayed with me unfortunately.

I was nice because I choose to be it was simple as that. To me it was meant something. It was simply a choice. I choose to be who I was both here and in my real world. I simply did not choose to be mean or bitter towards others. I choose to give not take but rather to help and encourage others rather than hurt them. Sometimes I did not succeed but I did try my very best I was after all human with many failings.

A smile or a hug to brighten even a strangers day was such an easy thing to do.Why intentionaly drag unplesantness to the escape fantasy world I had crafted for myself, to me that didn't make sence at all I simply could not fathom it.

I felt Truely sad for those who couldn't leave their pain behind , for those lost souls who had to drag it here and especially those who had an intrinsic need to inflict it upon others. Some I realized got off on the giving of pain, some openly said that Lit was thir personal playground used for the manipulation of others. Some I guessed enjoyed being on the receiving end of such gameplay.

I was simply not one of those people.

It broke my heart to give emotional pain intentionally to another, especially if it was simply for my own selfish gratification,I was not hard wired that way thank goodness.

Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart but me unless I choose to let them in...I do not allow strangers in this fantasy environment acess to the real Flesh and blood me, why would I? That would be emotional suicide here on Lit!

Passing judgement on me could never be based on anything more than pure supposition and I guess I preferred it that way. * blushes*

My trust is earned by a select few here on Lit.

I believe actions speak louder than words I Truely do.

I am who I am.

Thankfully I had stopped making apologies for it long ago.

I stand by who I am.

I adore who I am.

I had placed this song in my love songs thread , but really it belonged here.

"Nobody Knows"

Pink

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me


​

 

[Ravenloft]

I absolutely LOVE Pink. She's real, ya know? Doesn't play the bullshit games most pop stars do.

I'm pretty sure I've shared this one before, but it REALLY applies now.

All You Have To Be Is You

She's amasing, isn't she?

She's in dire physical condition and in danger of dying... I would like to ask if anyone knows how to create a crowd funding campaign to consider helping her much the same way Karen Klein was.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

A wolfling drops off a bouquet for a yee-she...and then retreats.

 

[yeishia]

I hadn’t been on Lit or in Solliquium for quite a while, this weekend I had been ill and once I had begun to feel better I choose to spend some time catching up with my dark angel, the love of my heart… I had missed the time we usually spent in one another’s arms.

Today the real world had released its hold on me and so here I was fully expecting to spend time here alone as always.

As I entered Soll the first thing I saw were a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers, they simply took my breath away, they were from Luna. Calla lilies I thought, though but to be honest I didn’t receive many flowers so could only guess. I placed them in a vase and sat down to think. I wanted to get something special for her as a thank you gift.

Worrying on my lower lip I imagined Luna in my mind’s eye and thought of her comment that when writing with someone she delved into their deepest fantasies; what were mine I wondered?

Perhaps I should invite her to visit Serendipity?

Luna_Wolf… someone I had watched from afar, someone who I wanted to accept and perhaps come to love me as I did my Dark angel , someone who on a primal level called out to me.

A complex and very special someone. What could I bring that would do her justice and convey how I felt in this moment surreal moment.

Mmmmm, did I dare, I had always watched from the shadows…

I had been invited and yet still I hesitated.

My gift to her would be my trust and perhaps my heart, maybe just maybe she could help me unearth some of those dark buried fantasies she had spoken of.

Smiling I changed into one of my favorite outfits, leaving my hair loose I tucked a single blossom from the bouquets behind my ear , I would visit and thank her in person.

Before I lost courage I hurriedly left to visit her home buried deep in the woods she and I so loved.

A whispered “Que Sera Sera”, and I was gone.

 

[Ravenloft]

Ysabella Brave is undergoing surgery. Please send her your thoughts and prayers.

And here, enjoy her music.

Such a Quiet Man

James

Baby One

Machine

The Truth

Nice I Guess

Princesa Inocente

The Moon Was Red

Bones of Yesterday

Undercover

Beautiful

Woe, Hypocrites!

Don't Know Why

Goodbye

 

[yeishia]

Ysabella Brave is undergoing surgery. Please send her your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for all the beautiful songs, I made sure that she was in my thoughts and prayers as you knew I would.