Some perspective/advice please?

[DeservingBitch]

Damn, I find myself hoping for another JAMESBJOHNSON sighting. At least he had style.

True dat.

 

[FurryFury]

*hurls*

 

[Primalex]

The difference between you and me sweety is that I try to be self-aware of my insecurities/anxieties/desires rather than repressing them and projecting them onto other people.

So you are suppressing who you are to pamper the feelings of other people. When did you start to feel guilty about your personality?

 

[DeservingBitch]

So you are suppressing who you are to pamper the feelings of other people. When did you start to feel guilty about your personality?

I don't believe in guilt.

It can be productive in forcing you to reflect on your mistakes, but more often than not, guilt only serves to recenter the attention on your own bruised self rather than on making up to those who've been harmed by your fuck ups.

As for feeling guilty for who I am, I've let go of that along with catholicism when I was 12.

 

[dirtyblonde69]

I don't believe in guilt.

It can be productive in forcing you to reflect on your mistakes, but more often than not, guilt only serves to recenter the attention on your own bruised self rather than on making up to those who've been harmed by your fuck ups.

As for feeling guilty for who I am, I've let go of that along with catholicism when I was 12.

That's a good take things hun, guilt is simply a different perspective on reality that can lead to you apologising for who you are (or what you've done) - but it's very different to regret which I think can be far more damaging.

 

[twysted73]

That's a good take things hun, guilt is simply a different perspective on reality that can lead to you apologising for who you are (or what you've done) - but it's very different to regret which I think can be far more damaging.

So...Have you come any closer to a resolution for your dilemma?

Has coming to Lit helped in any way to further resolve your conundrum by chance? If so, do share. I am curious.

 

[dirtyblonde69]

So...Have you come any closer to a resolution for your dilemma?

Has coming to Lit helped in any way to further resolve your conundrum by chance? If so, do share. I am curious.

Funnily enough - it has, there's been some incredibly constructive input that's made me look at this from many angles. I'm not any further forward with a resolution - but it's certainly made me a bit clearer in how I'm feeling, what it is I'm looking for and what I need. The journey is far from over, and there's going to be lots more to talk about (and think about) but I'm hopeful that I'll get there in the end.

 

[madetotakeit]

Glad to hear you feel that way. I have found Lit to be very helpful and thought provoking as well. It is a great outlet to find information, opinions, or just straight out express yourself. There is a great calmness when you understand how you are feeling...and a great excitement when you realize you are ready to proceed down this path. The only limits are your own...that's a great thing. Welcome aboard and here's to the journey you will call your own.

 

[dirtyblonde69]

Glad to hear you feel that way. I have found Lit to be very helpful and thought provoking as well. It is a great outlet to find information, opinions, or just straight out express yourself. There is a great calmness when you understand how you are feeling...and a great excitement when you realize you are ready to proceed down this path. The only limits are your own...that's a great thing. Welcome aboard and here's to the journey you will call your own.

Thanks - I know I've got a lot further to go. Part of me is scared and part of me is excited that this could become a reality, but I know the key to all of this is to be open and honest to myself and my husband. Still don't know how this will turn out, but I think even the fact I've been able to talk about it has helped me an enormous amount.

 

[dirtyblonde69]

Update

I thought I'd give you an update (seeing as I've had a couple of private messages asking if there's been any news from my friend). He's giving my question serious consideration, although he has concerns (which I expected him to have) - while he's not saying no, he wants us to talk about it further to figure out whether it's a leap that he would want to take with our friendship. Surprisingly enough - now that I know that we're ok as friends, I'm not stressing any more, and whatever his decision I'm ok with it. I know this is something I need to look into further, but maybe from talking to him I'll be able to figure some stuff out for myself too.

 

[madetotakeit]

Glad to hear you have talked to him are not stressing anymore. Not knowing where you stand is a very stressful position. Now that you have talked and know that your friendship is intact you can start to concentrate on all the things that interest you. He's is right in that there is still lots to talk about. I hope for you that this is right for both of you and you can start on your new path. You will learn so much about yourself along the way, but it's a great journey. Once you recognize it is something you need to discover, there really is no turning back. It's a part of who you are and there is only one way to quell that feeling. Continue to keep us posted and join in the conversations. If you are like me, you will find it very helpful. This can be a great place for advice and can help keep you sane as an outlet.