Starting BDSM Lifestyle W/Bipolar Wife

[FurryFury]

I have always been the Dom in the bedroom and my wife is Submissive, once again in the bedroom, but never went all the way BDSM. I had thrown out the idea a few times but she was resistant to giving up control.

I was considering breaking up because she is Bipolar and it causes problems with every aspect of our life.

During the last 6 month she had an affair with another woman, only had sex twice, I believe her she's come clean about all of it. Evan introduced a third woman who helped her.The other woman is into BDSM and began controlling my wife over the phone, and while at work, giving orders, telling her what color thong to wear, etc.... My wife enjoyed the ball gag they made her wear, being restained, being spanked, being made to follow thier orders.

My wife began enjoy life more, depression issues disappeared which she claims to have had since she could remember.

Now she wants me to become her Master and her my Slave, because she claims she enjoys the freedom off being Submissive. She wants it to envelop our entire life. Including finding another submissive woman to include in on our sex life.

I have read about and been intested in this lifestyle for a very long time.

I am worried that because of her Bipolar issues that this may just be a quick fix and then things will fall apart again, she's getting conselling for the Deprression and Bipolar as well as Medications. Any idea how peaple with this disorder handle this lifestyle, generally speaking, everyone is different of course.

I Love this woman and want this to work out, any ideas, or points of veiw are more than welcome!

The above bolded item is the main thing you need to work out before you start into all the BDSM business or think it a cure. Also, can you live with how she causes problems with every portion of your lives? Is there a way to get her stabilized first and then perhaps try BDSM if you both still want to?

The thing with the other woman whom both Dominated her,,REALLY FUCKING TURNS ME ON!!!

I'm making her tell me every detail, she tells me something such as, they made her make them both cum whilr only using her tongue and while she was restrained.

I make her tell me what was her emotions during this?

What did she enjoy about it?

Did it cause her tongue to get tired?

Etc... etc... etc...

Very detailed and I ask many questions to make her relive every moment.

Fucking blast, making her relive it!!!!

And yet, she CHEATED on you. Are you happy with that? What's to stop her from doing that again. Will it be alright if she does? If it were with a guy would you be as turned on?

Personally I wouldn't be too thrilled to be "forced" to give details and so on. That's so not hot for me but if you and she are into it, fine, i guess.

 

[myinnerslut]

I worked in a psychiatric hospital assessing admissions. I saw a lot of wild & crazy bipolars over the years. Drunk, drugged out of their skulls, usually naked, always violent and cursing.

What do you wanna tell me about em?

Straigthen me out.

you are basing your assumptions on your work in admissions at a psych hospital?!?! are you kidding me?

then you already know your seeing the worst of the worst, right? and that the majority of people who are bipolar can live productive lives without reaching the point you are describing?

but if you want to keep believeing that everyone is like the people you saw in psych admissions, then go ahead. be ignorant.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

MYINNERSLUT

What exactly do you expect me to see in a psychiatric hospital? Bipolar Disorder is not the common cold. It's one the BIGGIES in terms of the tumult and chaos it creates. What it is, is what gets dragged thru the doors fighting and cussing and screaming and naked.

My professional opinion is: A lotta people dont really have the disorder, they have Cyclothymia or Ants N Their Pants or something else.

Two percent of the population has Bipolar disorder, NOT the whole damned Literotica Porn Board.

 

[Homburg]

I am not bipolar. I can, however, be moody as hell. Can I get a label for that, JBJ?

 

[nh23]

MYINNERSLUT

What exactly do you expect me to see in a psychiatric hospital? Bipolar Disorder is not the common cold. It's one the BIGGIES in terms of the tumult and chaos it creates. What it is, is what gets dragged thru the doors fighting and cussing and screaming and naked.

My professional opinion is: A lotta people dont really have the disorder, they have Cyclothymia or Ants N Their Pants or something else.

Two percent of the population has Bipolar disorder, NOT the whole damned Literotica Porn Board.

I'm just wondering JAMES what your purpose is here on this lit fourm? Most of us are here to learn or help others out, or just for companionship with others who understand the lifestyle. From what I have seen from your posts so far you are only here to create drama. ( I'm having flashbacks of highschool..) Is your life so boring and you so lonesome that you have nothing better to do than create drama for others for your own entertainment?

 

[MelancholyBaby]

Three of us equals "the whole damned Literotica Porn Board?"

There are some of us who try damned hard to get better, to learn about themselves and how to self regulate, to recognize and minimize thought distortions, etc.

To automatically assume that the OP's wife is the worst of the worst is truly a disservice to a person who had an honest and legitimate question and an insult to those of us who do not try to let our diagnosis define us.

 

[Life_Noir]

We've been together for 11 1/2 years, married for 5, and " I'm Superman and can fix it all, just give me the oppurtunity and the time" FUCK, it's just the mental issues have wore me down. It's almost as if I need a support group of my own, just to learn to deal with her issues, and mantain a positive outlook on the situation.

I don't do well with quiting, giving up, throwing in the towel, it's not in my nature. And Astrology believers, Early VIRGO!!!!

But I have found a fresh situation and can fix, our relationship?

Life Noir, have gone through many of those issues already, FUCK!!!

I JUST CAN'T QUITE TRYING!!!!

Good Luck Hommes.... I suffered through over 7 years of it before It completely went nuclear.... Once they hit lithium you're pretty much fucked..
All because I couldn't give up either... Refused to quit.
I learned better.. The hard way..
I figure I'll be the next twenty years getting shit straightened back out..If ever.
I don't know if my friend I worked with has ever gotten any of his crap fixed...And that was Hmmmmm.. 4 years ago???

Oh ...and when the Doc starts talking about meds...just go ahead and kick em in the balls... The fucking meds only work for about 6 weeks at a shot...If that... Then they have to be completely changed..
Or...to quote a song...

"Welcome back my friend, to the show that never ends"

Oh...and that affair? It's not the only one she's had...It's the only one you KNOW she's had... I'd be willing to bet you money I don't have on it... But there's no way yo prove it conclusively.

And you already know better than to expect the truth out of her...Don't you?

 

[EmpressFi]

cut him some slack. He has my respect for wanting to try and stay.. yeah.. she might have had other affairs.. he'll never know for sure, but he's wanting to try and make things work..

My exhusband is bipolar.. I found out after we were married (he'd hid the reason for his release from the Navy until after we were married)... after I first found out, I did nothing - I was so naive.. and he told me he was fine... He wasnt.. I handled it poorly.. I wont go into details here.. but before I completely moved out, we'd progressed to ECT.

I think it's very brave of him to want to try and work on this ... to be her support..and I wish them both the best of luck.. I hope that they find a treatment that works well for them..

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

nh23

I think people get real cozy and comfortable on boards. The learn to accommodate each other and tune-out a lot of the nonsense people assert, and it pisses them off when new people come along. Because new people dont know "the rules," and they step on people's toes, etc. Its the same crap at work or church or anyplace.

So my advice to you is...ignore me (you have an ignore button), and I'll find my friends amongst the others.

 

[nh23]

nh23

I think people get real cozy and comfortable on boards. The learn to accommodate each other and tune-out a lot of the nonsense people assert, and it pisses them off when new people come along. Because new people dont know "the rules," and they step on people's toes, etc. Its the same crap at work or church or anyplace.

So my advice to you is...ignore me (you have an ignore button), and I'll find my friends amongst the others.

I wouldn't say that it pisses them off when new people come along and don't know " the rules". I'd say it's more that people like you come along and try to stir up trouble for no other reason than your own entertainment. (AKA Trolls) Respect here is earned just like it is anywhere else. Notice that the people that are respected here the most ( CM, Cat, CW, Marquis, Betticus,Grace, ..and many others) aren't quick to judge and accept people for who they are. When they do give advice to those who are asking it is in a kind and considerate way. Opinions are going to differ.. that's what makes the world beautiful, it's just the way those differences are handled. From what I've read of your posts..well your always right and other opinions are just shit. That's just not a respectful way to handle things. ( Just my opinion.) I prefer to surround myself with those who are opeminded and who value the opinions of others, even if it's not their own. So, I'll take your advice on the ignore button. I wish you the best of luck with finding friends amongst the others.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

nh23
Trouble is in the mind of the beholder. I stick by my claim that the Old Timers like the cozy, comfortable camaraderie. And they dont like the pot stirred with contrary opinions and facts. People like me make it harder for the Old Timers to talk shit and get away with it.

These people you list, they have a strangle-hold on respect? I dont think so. I think most of us are respected one place or another. You like them because theyre easy on you and dont push very hard. I'm different. If you talk goofy crap I intend to comment on it. Ignoring me is the best course of action for you. It really is.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm just wondering JAMES what your purpose is here on this lit fourm? Most of us are here to learn or help others out, or just for companionship with others who understand the lifestyle. From what I have seen from your posts so far you are only here to create drama. ( I'm having flashbacks of highschool..) Is your life so boring and you so lonesome that you have nothing better to do than create drama for others for your own entertainment?

Y'all know how this works by now. The more attention they get and more riled up they can get others, the happier they are.

I don't claim to understand them. Why do they do it? What drives them? What kind of lives do they lead? I don't know.

I just know that's how they are. We've seen it far too many times. The less attention and riled up they can get people the less they come around.

The name yelling is perhaps the only innovation I've seen in this one.

I call them shit stirrers or agitators. I avoid them like the plague because they do carry a dis-ease with them. In forum they are often called trolls or Asshats.

Proceed accordingly.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

nh23
Trouble is in the mind of the beholder. I stick by my claim that the Old Timers like the cozy, comfortable camaraderie. And they dont like the pot stirred with contrary opinions and facts. People like me make it harder for the Old Timers to talk shit and get away with it.

These people you list, they have a strangle-hold on respect? I dont think so. I think most of us are respected one place or another. You like them because theyre easy on you and dont push very hard. I'm different. If you talk goofy crap I intend to comment on it. Ignoring me is the best course of action for you. It really is.

your posts are exactly what i've been talking about lately. everyone has become judgmental and down right mean on this board. yes, Bipolar is bad, but it's not the persons fault, they can't help the way they are just as you can't help but spew mean insults out. it's a part of who they are. and i think it's great that he is trying to stand by his wife and be her support. i can't imagine how stressful (for both of them) it must be.

to the OP: i do wish you both the best of luck and i hope it all works out for you. but i'm with everyone else here when i say i think you need to get her more stable before introducing something like BDSM and especially a Poly relationship into your lives. i am not bipolar but i do have Depression, and yes the pain Master inflicts on me does help with the depression, but it's not a fix to my 'illness'. there is no fix, there are only things that can help her cope (meds) i do wish you the best of luck and i'm sorry for the mean comments that have been posted here about Bipolar people.

this board is really starting to make me just not even want to post anymore. everyone has become so judgmental of everyone else and instead of giving good sound advice they just want to bad mouth and dis those who have questions. it's not about 'sugar coating things' it's about having respect for each other and it seems alot have forgotten about that. i just don't understand why we have to be so mean to each other, especially to those who come here asking for advice. that's one of the things i used to love about this board, was that i knew i could ask a question and get tons of good advice. now days it doesn't seem like it's that way anymore. *shrugs*

 

[nh23]

your posts are exactly what i've been talking about lately. everyone has become judgmental and down right mean on this board. yes, Bipolar is bad, but it's not the persons fault, they can't help the way they are just as you can't help but spew mean insults out. it's a part of who they are. and i think it's great that he is trying to stand by his wife and be her support. i can't imagine how stressful (for both of them) it must be.

to the OP: i do wish you both the best of luck and i hope it all works out for you. but i'm with everyone else here when i say i think you need to get her more stable before introducing something like BDSM and especially a Poly relationship into your lives. i am not bipolar but i do have Depression, and yes the pain Master inflicts on me does help with the depression, but it's not a fix to my 'illness'. there is no fix, there are only things that can help her cope (meds) i do wish you the best of luck and i'm sorry for the mean comments that have been posted here about Bipolar people.

this board is really starting to make me just not even want to post anymore. everyone has become so judgmental of everyone else and instead of giving good sound advice they just want to bad mouth and dis those who have questions. it's not about 'sugar coating things' it's about having respect for each other and it seems alot have forgotten about that. i just don't understand why we have to be so mean to each other, especially to those who come here asking for advice. that's one of the things i used to love about this board, was that i knew i could ask a question and get tons of good advice. now days it doesn't seem like it's that way anymore. *shrugs*

Your right, it is about having respect for each other. That was my point to JAMES. There sure seem to be a lot of asshats here lately, but still good advice if we weed out those who just want drama.

 

[nh23]

Y'all know how this works by now. The more attention they get and more riled up they can get others, the happier they are.

I don't claim to understand them. Why do they do it? What drives them? What kind of lives do they lead? I don't know.

I just know that's how they are. We've seen it far too many times. The less attention and riled up they can get people the less they come around.

The name yelling is perhaps the only innovation I've seen in this one.

I call them shit stirrers or agitators. I avoid them like the plague because they do carry a dis-ease with them. In forum they are often called trolls or Asshats.

Proceed accordingly.

LMAO! I love you Fury!

 

[graceanne]

http://www.genesbmx.com/trolls.jpg

Beyond that, I don't think that introducing bdsm into your life is going to help anything. For awhile, while it's new, yeah, but otherwise no. The only thing that's going to help you out is if she stays on her meds and gets counseling. Period.

And just so everyone knows, my little sister was recently diagnosed bipolar. I'm not a total ignoramous when it comes to it. She's doing great. She takes her meds, she sees her shrink. She's on honor roll in highschool and is moving up here next year to go to college to become a vet. I'm very proud of her.

 

[nh23]

nh23
Trouble is in the mind of the beholder. I stick by my claim that the Old Timers like the cozy, comfortable camaraderie. And they dont like the pot stirred with contrary opinions and facts. People like me make it harder for the Old Timers to talk shit and get away with it.

These people you list, they have a strangle-hold on respect? I dont think so. I think most of us are respected one place or another. You like them because theyre easy on you and dont push very hard. I'm different. If you talk goofy crap I intend to comment on it. Ignoring me is the best course of action for you. It really is.

No I don't like them because they are easy on me. I like them because the give good sound advice, and if I'm considering doing something "goofy" they will tell me in a respectful way and still have respect for the decisions I make. They may not agree, but they don't judge. And that is the best way to get someone to listen you your opinions. Just jumping in and treating everyone like they are stupid is not going to get you anywhere. ( I'm sure you've noticed.) And as for "Ignoring me is the best course of action for you. It really is." Just got to tell you, I'm scared, I really am. LMFAO. Ok, now I'm going to be a good girl and stop feeding the trolls.

 

[graceanne]

No I don't like them because they are easy on me. I like them because the give good sound advice, and if I'm considering doing something "goofy" they will tell me in a respectful way and still have respect for the decisions I make. They may not agree, but they don't judge. And that is the best way to get someone to listen you your opinions. Just jumping in and treating everyone like they are stupid is not going to get you anywhere. ( I'm sure you've noticed.) And as for "Ignoring me is the best course of action for you. It really is." Just got to tell you, I'm scared, I really am. LMFAO. Ok, now I'm going to be a good girl and stop feeding the trolls.

Why are you trying to reason with him? Trolls aren't that smart, they don't understand reason. I think their's a 'bored' thread in the cafe that you can go to if you wanna beat your head on a wall.

 

[nh23]

Why are you trying to reason with him? Trolls aren't that smart, they don't understand reason. I think their's a 'bored' thread in the cafe that you can go to if you wanna beat your head on a wall.

Your right. I'm done now. It's very rare for me to argue with anyone on here. As a matter of fact I don't think I ever have. This guy just really got on my nerves. I would have stopped after the first post I made, but I felt he was putting down people I have a lot of respect for on here, so I felt like I should make it known why I have that respect that I do for all of you guys. I lurk here more than I post, but I've learned a lot since I've found this forum. I feel comfortable here and that's a rare thing for me. I guess my motherly instinct kicked in and I wanted to defend a place and people I have come to really like. I know that there's been
a lot of drama going on here lately and a lot of people have been getting very frustrated. I hate that and I hope things get better soon. This forum has been very valuable to me, and I know it will be for others too..if we just weed out the bullshit.

 

[graceanne]

Your right. I'm done now. It's very rare for me to argue with anyone on here. As a matter of fact I don't think I ever have. This guy just really got on my nerves. I would have stopped after the first post I made, but I felt he was putting down people I have a lot of respect for on here, so I felt like I should make it known why I have that respect that I do for all of you guys. I lurk here more than I post, but I've learned a lot since I've found this forum. I feel comfortable here and that's a rare thing for me. I guess my motherly instinct kicked in and I wanted to defend a place and people I have come to really like. I know that there's been
a lot of drama going on here lately and a lot of people have been getting very frustrated. I hate that and I hope things get better soon. This forum has been very valuable to me, and I know it will be for others too..if we just weed out the bullshit.

Don't worry about it. That's the job of trolls, to call names, be assholes, and pick on the regulars. It's what they do best. Just like it's my job to laugh at their pathetic asses, post a 'do not feed the trolls' sign, and sit back to enjoy watching the troll flip out.

Trolls do not like to be called trolls.

Oh, but I appreciate your defense. *hugs*

 

[Yana_Mistmoor]

Don't worry about it. That's the job of trolls, to call names, be assholes, and pick on the regulars. It's what they do best. Just like it's my job to laugh at their pathetic asses, post a 'do not feed the trolls' sign, and sit back to enjoy watching the troll flip out.

Trolls do not like to be called trolls.

Oh, but I appreciate your defense. *hugs*

Yup, me too - as neither a regular or person with Bi-Polar - just appreciate kindness in people

Also, been wanting an op to say I really like that second quote in your sig nh23. Strikes a resonant cord here

 

[nh23]

Don't worry about it. That's the job of trolls, to call names, be assholes, and pick on the regulars. It's what they do best. Just like it's my job to laugh at their pathetic asses, post a 'do not feed the trolls' sign, and sit back to enjoy watching the troll flip out.

Trolls do not like to be called trolls.

Oh, but I appreciate your defense. *hugs*

No problem. Good things should be defended.

 

[nh23]

Yup, me too - as neither a regular or person with Bi-Polar - just appreciate kindness in people

Also, been wanting an op to say I really like that second quote in your sig nh23. Strikes a resonant cord here

Your welcome. I've always found kindness here. I've been to many other forums and this is the only one I've ever posted on. I love that quote also!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

nh23

The idea that people dont judge is a goofy idea. It really is if you think about it. Fried any potatoes lately? Eggs? Parked your car? Filled the washer with clothes? Made a choice between ground sirloin and ground chuck?

We make judgments all the time. You cannot escape them. Hell, you make judgments about me every time I post.

You cannot be sympathetic without being judgmental. I mean, the list goes on and on.

When people talk about 'judgmental' I think theyre either asserting that their friends are okay with what they do or not expressing an opinion.

 

[subkitty72]

Psssst

nh23

The idea that people dont judge is a goofy idea. It really is if you think about it. Fried any potatoes lately? Eggs? Parked your car? Filled the washer with clothes? Made a choice between ground sirloin and ground chuck?

We make judgments all the time. You cannot escape them. Hell, you make judgments about me every time I post.

You cannot be sympathetic without being judgmental. I mean, the list goes on and on.

When people talk about 'judgmental' I think theyre either asserting that their friends are okay with what they do or not expressing an opinion.

Mr. Jamesbjohnson:

Someone is in dire need of your help on a thread called, "am i a sub". I've noticed your ability at quick analysis and foregone conclusions. Your expertise is needed there.

-kitty