Starting BDSM Lifestyle W/Bipolar Wife

[HB1965]

iltibido, the Marquis gives you valuable advice. In working with those who are mentally ill (yes they are mentally retarded as well, but the symptomology and the way they live with it is the same) I have had to learn a lot about this disorder. The one thing that I can tell you is that if she is working on it that is all to the good for her. She needs to stay on those medications and have regular check ins with her psychiatrist, and she needs to use that therapy to help her deal with the symptoms.

What the Marquis says though, that you should give it up though if the Bipolar is too much, that's something you need to consider. This woman needs someone who will stick with her even through the bad times. If you can't do it then you need to say goodbye.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

apologies for the mini hijack.......

iltibido, the Marquis gives you valuable advice. In working with those who are mentally ill (yes they are mentally retarded as well, but the symptomology and the way they live with it is the same) I have had to learn a lot about this disorder.

HornyBabe may I ask how it is that the 'mentally ill' and intellectually developmentally delayed are considered in the same genre. Is it possible that the correlation is between behavioural anomalies and intellectual development and if so where is the transference in the areas of psychological disorders' such as BiPolar.

 

[FurryFury]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

It's hard to tell inflection online but actually I didn't say it that way at all.

*chuckles*

 

[FurryFury]

Do it.

If you feel this way now, I don't imagine it's going to get any easier.



I'm bipolar, and I can tell you that with a few exceptions, there is not a lot of aspects of bipolar disorder that affect BDSM specifically, or vice-versa. Bipolar disorder affects every aspect of your life, but it doesn't really have anything to do with BDSM.

The only exception I would say is that people who are bipolar tend to get hypersexual, that is, super, duper fucking horny. This can accentuate the desire for those things that turn us on. If you have a low sex drive you may find yourself overwhelmed.

Excellent spot on advice IMO.

 

[HB1965]

HornyBabe may I ask how it is that the 'mentally ill' and intellectually developmentally delayed are considered in the same genre. Is it possible that the correlation is between behavioural anomalies and intellectual development and if so where is the transference in the areas of psychological disorders' such as BiPolar.

rebecca, I'm not putting them in the same genre. I was stating that even though they are MR they are also BiPolar, and they can still go through the same issues as the rest of the population, and I've seen how it effects their lives. Some of my residents actually life fairly normal lives. They have jobs, boy/girlfriends, and hobbies they enjoy participating in. I even treated someone who had been married.

As it happens there is a difference between Psychological Disorders and Mental Illness. BiPolar disorder is a mental illness not a psychological disorder. Psychological Disorders are dysfunctions of emotional development and can be treated with medication, but nine times out of ten the only effective treatment is counseling and some cases long term/intensive counseling.

Mentally Illnesses conversely are chemical dysfunctions of the brain that MUST be treated by medication. Counseling to some degree does help to teach the person how to cope with symptoms and how it effects his or her life, but it can't be used alone, and even with medication mental illnesses are never truly cured. A psychological disorder can be cured for the most part.

As it happens people who are MR actually are more susceptible to Mental Illness developing because the anatomy of the brain hasn't developed quite the way that it should which can lead to chemical imbalances. While people who are mentally retarded do have maladaptive behaviors those are usually learned and can be replaced with other coping skills through training.

As it happens I have several clients in my home that are Mentally Ill. At least three are schizophrenic and others suffer from different types of psychosis.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

rebecca, I'm not putting them in the same genre. I was stating that even though they are MR they are also BiPolar, and they can still go through the same issues as the rest of the population, and I've seen how it effects their lives. Some of my residents actually life fairly normal lives. They have jobs, boy/girlfriends, and hobbies they enjoy participating in. I even treated someone who had been married.

As it happens there is a difference between Psychological Disorders and Mental Illness. BiPolar disorder is a mental illness not a psychological disorder. Psychological Disorders are dysfunctions of emotional development and can be treated with medication, but nine times out of ten the only effective treatment is counseling and some cases long term/intensive counseling.

Mentally Illnesses conversely are chemical dysfunctions of the brain that MUST be treated by medication. Counseling to some degree does help to teach the person how to cope with symptoms and how it effects his or her life, but it can't be used alone, and even with medication mental illnesses are never truly cured. A psychological disorder can be cured for the most part.

As it happens people who are MR actually are more susceptible to Mental Illness developing because the anatomy of the brain hasn't developed quite the way that it should which can lead to chemical imbalances. While people who are mentally retarded do have maladaptive behaviors those are usually learned and can be replaced with other coping skills through training.

As it happens I have several clients in my home that are Mentally Ill. At least three are schizophrenic and others suffer from different types of psychosis.

Hornybabe thank you for documenting your stance on the above.

The term 'Mental Retardation' has been retired here for some while. I often run into difficulty when attempting to reconcile conversations of this kind.

One would think prudence would kick in and I would desist from going 'there' based on previous experience . Apparently that was not to be the case earlier in my day.

Thanks again

 

[SouthernDom]

The thing with the other woman whom both Dominated her,,REALLY FUCKING TURNS ME ON!!!

I'm making her tell me every detail, she tells me something such as, they made her make them both cum whilr only using her tongue and while she was restrained.

I make her tell me what was her emotions during this?

What did she enjoy about it?

Did it cause her tongue to get tired?

Etc... etc... etc...

Very detailed and I ask many questions to make her relive every moment.

Fucking blast, making her relive it!!!!

You're following your cock.................not a good practice when trying to sort out the risk vs. reward factor when weighing the odds on staying the course and trying to make a relationship work.

No need in asking me how I know...............

 

[shy slave]

iltibido, the Marquis gives you valuable advice. In working with those who are mentally ill (yes they are mentally retarded as well, but the symptomology and the way they live with it is the same) I have had to learn a lot about this disorder. The one thing that I can tell you is that if she is working on it that is all to the good for her. She needs to stay on those medications and have regular check ins with her psychiatrist, and she needs to use that therapy to help her deal with the symptoms.

What the Marquis says though, that you should give it up though if the Bipolar is too much, that's something you need to consider. This woman needs someone who will stick with her even through the bad times. If you can't do it then you need to say goodbye.

Oh my, you have really pressed my 'who the fuck do you think you are' button.

People who are mentally ill ARE NOT mentally retarded.

In the UK mentally retarded is not a term we use.

However, people with a learning disability/learning difficulties/intellectual difficulties may also have a mental illness.

It is not a stated two way street.

I do hope you review your narrow minded opinions and get some information about issues you seem to have little professional knowledge of.

We have saying in the UK, 'opening your mouth and letting your stomach rumble'

It means speaking without knowledge.

It applies to you in this post.

I have read your explanation post, I don't buy it. It sees like back peddling to me.

I am so shocked, that this post is the polite version of my views.

edit to add: The words 'In working with...' indicates a general working with all types of people, not your specific working role.
If you do indeed work in this environment, please be clear. It saves being insulting others by default

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have you noticed how many people here are either bipolar or have a loved one who is?

Weird.

Not really....it seems to be one of the most common mental illnesses around these days, just I think it has remained undiagnosed or misunderstood for too long.

Catalina

 

[JMohegan]

For the edification of those who are sincerely interested, I offer a link to the American Association on Intellectual and Development Disabilities site - specifically, an article dated February 20, 2007 with the title: "Mental Retardation is No More".

 

[shy slave]

For the edification of those who are sincerely interested, I offer a link to the American Association on Intellectual and Development Disabilities site - specifically, an article dated February 20, 2007 with the title: "Mental Retardation is No More".

Thanks JM.

Mental retardation is a term that has not been used in the UK for at least three plus decades.

It is considered an inappropriate and abusive term.

As can be guessed from my post in this thread, it is a term designed to make me move from 'reasonable' to 'angry' in less than a nano-second.

I work with adults with a learning disability, I have spent my whole life trying to get people to realise that they, and people with mental health issues, are not the same.

That is not to say either group are better or worse, but they are not the same.

Some people do have a both a learning disability or intellectual disability and a mental health issue, but they are in the minority compared to the overall population size.

It reminds me of those logic problems.

If all squares are blue, and all circles are green, are all triangles blue/green?

 

[nh23]

*whispers* Gracie.. I think we starved the troll...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

GRACEANNE

You remind me of the story told by Mark Twain.

There was an Old Maid who lived by the river. One day she looked out her window, saw a group of boys swimming naked, and she sent her servant for the sheriff. When the sheriff arrived he chased the boys away and all was well for a time.

After the sheriff left the Old Maid checked the river a few times, and saw no naked boys. So she went upstairs and looked out a window. There they were! Further away, but just as naked! So she summoned the sheriff, who ran them off once more, and all was well again.

Ahter the sheriff left, she checked the river a few times, but saw no naked boys from the upstairs window. So she went outside and climbed upon the roof with a spyglass. She searched one end of the river, then the other, and finally saw them!

"GET THE SHERIFF!!!"

 

[nh23]

*whispers* Gracie.. I think we starved the troll...

Aww... shit! Guess not.

 

[JMohegan]

Mental retardation is a term that has not been used in the UK for at least three plus decades.

It is considered an inappropriate and abusive term.

In my corner of the U.S., the term has been considered unacceptable in polite company, or for respectable usage, for about the same period of time. Having been coopted by the cruel or ignorant as a means of disparaging, it came to be viewed as an inappropiate and insulting thing to say.

My impression is that the scientific community here resisted the change for much longer, because the unspoken but clear understanding was that of course no one in that community was speaking with the intent to disparage or insult.

An excerpt from the link above, that seems germane to this discussion, is the quote from the VP of AAIDD. He said:

"Changing the term (mental retardation) will make many people happy. That happiness will quickly fade when the new term is used as a pejorative. Without a long-term effort to include everyone and to educate those with negative or neutral attitudes toward our constituents, a change in terminology will become the new pejorative very quickly."

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Have you noticed how many people here are either bipolar or have a loved one who is?

Weird.

GRACEANNE?

Why do you think it odd? Here is exactly where I'd fish for bipolars.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JMOHEGAN

Google 'retarded' and see what pops up. On my list is the FLORIDA ASSOCIATION for RETARDED CITIZENS.

A rose by any name smells just as sweet. Shakespeare

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I think we use this name business as an excuse to be upset. And upset is how many of us manage our depression.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

nh23

Good Afternoon, dear. I was just leaving. Catch you later. Jim

 

[nh23]

nh23

Good Afternoon, dear. I was just leaving. Catch you later. Jim

Well Good Afternoon to you too! After the day I've been having, you've provided some much needed cheap entertainment. I knew I could count on you!

(Gracie, please don't cut off the cookies for life.. I couldn't resist)

 

[HB1965]

Wait A Minute

I'm sorry, but apparently I've either not communicated to everyone well, or you didn't get my original statement.

I am not saying that people who are mentally ill are mentally retared.


Believe me I KNOW the difference. I am simply saying that the people I work with are mentally ill as well as mentally retarded.

 

[HB1965]

In my corner of the U.S., the term has been considered unacceptable in polite company, or for respectable usage, for about the same period of time. Having been coopted by the cruel or ignorant as a means of disparaging, it came to be viewed as an inappropiate and insulting thing to say.

My impression is that the scientific community here resisted the change for much longer, because the unspoken but clear understanding was that of course no one in that community was speaking with the intent to disparage or insult.

An excerpt from the link above, that seems germane to this discussion, is the quote from the VP of AAIDD. He said:

"Changing the term (mental retardation) will make many people happy. That happiness will quickly fade when the new term is used as a pejorative. Without a long-term effort to include everyone and to educate those with negative or neutral attitudes toward our constituents, a change in terminology will become the new pejorative very quickly."

JMOHEGHAN I work in this field and it's the term we still use as even the AAMR hasn't been able to come up with a better term

 

[JMohegan]

JMOHEGAN

Google 'retarded' and see what pops up. On my list is the FLORIDA ASSOCIATION for RETARDED CITIZENS.

From the home page of their website:

The Arc of Florida
Advocating for people with disabilities for over 50 years.

Our Mission Statement: “Working with local, state, and national partners, The Arc of Florida advocates for local chapters, public policies, and high quality supports for people with developmental and other disabilities to be fully included in all aspects of their community.”


It will be interesting to see if the title of that organization is altered to reflected the updated language as well.

A rose by any name smells just as sweet. Shakespeare

Such a genius he was! I believe the exact quote is:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

So eloquent, and so true.

 

[CutieMouse]

Actually, I've concluded Mr. Johnson isn't a Troll... he's abrasive, arrogant and somewhat ignorant (which is different from unintelligent or idiotic), but isn't necessarily a Troll.

As to the issue of entering a BDSM relationship wtih a bi-polar spouse...

Bi-polar is a mental illness, the severity of which kind of depends on how delicate your brain chemistry is. I've known people who are "bi-polar" who can function quite well in society (as long as they take their meds/consult regularly with their therapist); I've known "bi-polars" who function quite well in society 80% of the time, but dear God the other 20% is scary; I've known "bi-polars" who (frankly) should be locked away and sterilized, because there is no way to stabilize them - period.

The severity of the OP's wife's issues would partially determine how one should approach the idea of engaging in BDSM. The other determination is dependent upon the OP. *If* neither of them were looking at BDSM as a quick fix, the desire was there for both parties, and they committed to a structured environment - fine we'll do D/s, but it means D/s in the sense of you will take your meds, you will do what the therapist suggests, you must meet XYZ goals in order to get the cool kinky head-rush sex... well, that might work. However, the odds are in favor that the idea sprung from a manic cycle, with a overwhelming desire for a "quick fix" to enable her to get off the meds/etc, and is further fed by the OP's exhaustion/understandable desire to find a way to stop the madness. Getting a grasp on bi-polar is kind of like containg an oozing sludge between your fingers... it doesn't matter if the clenched fist is one of traditional treatments or kinky sex, the illness can still seep out and make a mess of things.

 

[HB1965]

From the home page of their website:

The Arc of Florida
Advocating for people with disabilities for over 50 years.

Our Mission Statement: “Working with local, state, and national partners, The Arc of Florida advocates for local chapters, public policies, and high quality supports for people with developmental and other disabilities to be fully included in all aspects of their community.”

It's interesting that you would quote the ARC of Florida since Florida has the worst system for dealing with people who have Developmental Disablilities.

The idea of changing the term has been around for decades, and there are a lot of other terms that have floated around. In America who have not retired the term as there hasn't been one that has really sufficiently covered the gist of what the problem is been proposed to replace it. The term has become negative because for the last 50 years or more because children (and unfortunately some crazy adults) have used the term "retarded" to insult people or called them "retards". It's a shame because if the term is looked at objectively it is really the best term to describe the condition