Starting BDSM Lifestyle W/Bipolar Wife

[Netzach]

I was making a back-handed comment about the inadequcies of our local educational system.

And my pop was an enlisted man in the Army when I was a kid. This was back in the Viet Nam war era and after when the pay was horrible and young enlisted men's families were firmly below the poverty line in most areas. Not quite single mom on welfare, but we were poor. And I thought the "Bell Curve" sucked too.

Yeah, everyone but everyone tries to get their kids into something othter than public school where I grew up, parochial, ANYthing.

 

[Homburg]

Yeah, everyone but everyone tries to get their kids into something othter than public school where I grew up, parochial, ANYthing.

We lucked out. Got our oldest into a good Magnet School. Our zone's elementary school is the worst in the district. Worst. No exageration. The nice thing is that the city's policy for siblings basically means that the rest of our kids get priority with this Magnet school.

If we hadn't gotten her into this one, it would've been parochial, home school, something. The elementary school we would have had to use was called a "prison for reject faculty" by a family friend that was a senior administrator for the school system.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JMOHEGAN

Cross my heart, hope to die! It's true.
I'm not smart enough or creative enough to make that kind of absurdity up.
They wanted each record cleansed of the offending word(s).

I took a course in human sexual behavior a while back. One of the student projects was a mini-genealogy to be presented in class. Well, my mother never knew who her father was, and my grandmother refused to talk about it. Because I asked her point blank who my grandfather was. "I dont remember."

So, in my presentation I revealed that my grandfather was unknown. Which was true.

And the professor jumped on it. "Why is that?" he asked.
"I guess because maybe they werent married?" I offered.
His lips puckered from a sour countenance..."They werent MARRIED? Do you believe people NEED to be married, Mr. Johnson?"
"Look! All I know is she didnt know who her father was, and Granny aint saying. Maybe she was raped. I dont know!"
We were off and running following the rape remark. I carried my ass home in my briefcase.

I did eventually learn my grandfathers identity. And he and my grandmother were married when my mother was born. My mother was 2 years older than she thought she was. My grandfather was an ordinary guy with no criminal history. He was a mechanic. He re-married and had 3 kids. He died young of a heart attack. Apparently he didnt know about my mother, either. The best answer I could get was from an old woman who had been a bridesmaid at the wedding: she said, "Agnes and Arthur just didnt get along."

Knowing my grandmother, he probably wanted some pussy and wasnt getting any. She once let the cat out of the bag with a casual remark that she had no idea of sex before she married.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Deleted...'cause i just don't feel like posting tonight...

 

[Soulfiregirl]

MELANCHOLY BABY

I know a few bipolars who have their shit together. They take their meds, they go to therapy, and they have happy, successful lives.

I know lions and bears who are gentle pets.

I worked in a psychiatric hospital assessing admissions. I saw a lot of wild & crazy bipolars over the years. Drunk, drugged out of their skulls, usually naked, always violent and cursing.

What do you wanna tell me about em?

Straigthen me out.

You know, this attitude is getting really old. Again, this is YOUR personal experience with bipolar folks James.

I have NEVER been hospitalized, never been drunk or drugged out. I've never walked around naked or cursing, and I've certainly never been violent.

You've only seen the worst of the worst, but what you don't realize is you've probably run into other bipolar folks outside of the hospital without even realizing it because they are able to "act" normal around others. You can't compare every bipolar person you meet in the future to the ones you've met in the hospital. By the time anyone gets to a psychiatric ward, they are in bad shape, no matter what mental disorder they suffer from.

I go to a support group with many bipolar folks. Some have been hospitalized but not for violence. Most are just trying to get through the day.

Suicide, is the biggest risk of violence for bipolar folks, not violence to others.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

We've been together for 11 1/2 years, married for 5, and " I'm Superman and can fix it all, just give me the oppurtunity and the time" FUCK, it's just the mental issues have wore me down. It's almost as if I need a support group of my own, just to learn to deal with her issues, and mantain a positive outlook on the situation.

I don't do well with quiting, giving up, throwing in the towel, it's not in my nature. And Astrology believers, Early VIRGO!!!!

But I have found a fresh situation and can fix, our relationship?

Life Noir, have gone through many of those issues already, FUCK!!!

I JUST CAN'T QUITE TRYING!!!!

You know, when this thread originally started, I suggested just being a supportive husband, but the one thing you can't do is to put your own mental health at risk by trying to hang in there with her if she's not willing to do some of the work herself.

This is not something you can fix, nor is it your job. It is her job to work on this issue. If she is not willing to do so, and just using sex with others as a temporary fix, then you may need to move on eventually.

If you do want to try and work through this with her, then a support group for yourself is a good idea.

I hate to say it, since I'm bipolar myself, but if she just isn't willing to get some therapy for herself and work on things, then you may have no other option but to end the relationship for your own mental health. She may need to "hit a bottom" mentally first before she finally gets more help for herself.

The funny thing about bipolar folks is we tend to avoid each other. I think it's because one bipolar person in a friendship or relationship is plenty.



I didn't want to sound like it's not the bipolar person's fault for all their issues. We do have to take some responsibility for our own actions at some time eventually. If we don't, then we are in denial and don't really want to get well. Your wife is still in denial. But it's up to you on how long you want to tolerate that. If it's become overwhelming for you, then maybe it is time to start thinking of separating. For your own mental health.


I wish you the best of luck hon. I really do. I know this must be very hard and painful for you.