sub has its own definition or is an abbreviation for submissive...?

[unfoundiamond]

That's why I made this thread.

i wasn't aware that 'sub' meant anything other than 'submissive'. to me (and pretty much everyone that i know in this lifestyle) it's an abbreviation for the word submissive.....

I wasn't either. That's why I made the thread.

I also took it as an abbreviation for submissive, that's why me and the girl from Lit didn't understand each other. She understood "sub" to have a seprate definition.

Hence the thread...

I am glad for your post... =D

 

[unfoundiamond]

Who's bitching about terms

I was catching up, and now am officially lost.

I am not an authority on "subs"... I didn't understand the word to be anything but an abbreviation. I was told by someone else, that they where a sub, and that the word was not an abbreviation, but its own term...

I had to explain to her I had never heard of this... and we discussed it to no understanding for maybe 30 minutes.

And it puzzled me... for a while...I couldn't stop thinking about the whole thing... She is about as new as I am and I was just curious what other people thought... Maybe someone else would be better able to explain it. Maybe I would be able to explain myself better and feel more confortable in a future discussion with people.

I wanted to go to a munch or whatever, and I don't know what the people mean if they say the word sub, that's gonna be a problem.

I chat with people from Lit on YIM... Someone said there was a lack of new topics,

I just tried to help...

I don't see the BFD... Its a topic... there's plenty of topics I don't post on, I stay to something I have some actual expirience or opinion on...

Just trying to have discussions on the discussion board...

 

[BiBunny]

"Bitching about terms"=my sarcasm about the "What's better? Sub/slave/pet/little girl/bottom/whatthefuckever/inserttermofchoicehere" debate that people get caught up in sometimes. I didn't mean that your original post was a bitchfest.

I do think we worry too much about words sometimes. In the end, it's just semantics. If someone calls me something that doesn't accurately describe me, I just say, "No, I'm actually a switch," politely and let it go at that.

I suppose I could complain that PYL/pyl doesn't accurately encompass my "orientation," though.

 

[unfoundiamond]

True.

Bi-
It did turn into a bitchfest, but, I ment to say I have heard this said long before you said it, [and it has confused me along with the whole "who's subbiest" (How does one go about proving something like that? Especially in a conversation?)]

But back to the topic

It doesn't imply orientation or gender...

Or anything really aside from it being a umbrella term...

OH,

And tell me HOW THE F*** I am suposed to SAY it?

"Capital P-Y-L"

"lowercase pyl"

And that's gonna go really well...

That only works online...

 

[Homburg]

That only works online...

Personally, I've not had it come up that often in conversation at munches. We're generally too busy talking about other things than debating terminology. I have heard people introduce the person they'r ein a relationship with by various terms, but not much in the way of referring to others in any given way.

Anecdotal reference though. No clue how it is elsewhere.

 

[Marquis]

I wasn't either. That's why I made the thread.

I also took it as an abbreviation for submissive, that's why me and the girl from Lit didn't understand each other. She understood "sub" to have a seprate definition.

Hence the thread...

I am glad for your post... =D

Why do you feel the need to explain this?

I'm sorry, I don't know you, at all and I'm not picking on you personally but.....

this kind of thing is a pet peeve of mine and I just want to understand it.

There are so many people that seem to be forever explaining themselves. I mean, we all get caught up in that sometimes and I don't know anything about your general habits, but did you personally get your question answered?

Why does anyone need to know who thought what? So you're the one who was "right"? Are you afraid to be wrong?

Fragile egos man.

 

[twysted73]

The fur has flown, the dust (hopefully) settled.

Life...need not be so complicated.

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

“A name is a label, and as soon as there is a label, the ideas disappear and out comes label-worship and label-bashing, and instead of living by a theme of ideas, people begin dying for labels... and the last thing the world needs is another religion.”
Richard Bach

It is your responsibility to have a label, but it should be internal, and have no outward effect on those around you except for the one or ones you serve, or vice versa.

My little girl is a slave, but only my slave, and not slave to anyone else. She is the only person who needs to know her label.

If you want to dabble in the "lifestyle", labels again are unimportant, these labels are typically self assumed, and not awarded based on education, or certification. You can assume you are an Owner, but if you don't own, who really gives a shit? Don't get me going about bisexual switches, to me that is just another way of say you are confused.

It's not often that I find myself agreeing with Marquis, but in this case I do, I shudder to wonder what that label would be?

 

[nh23]

It is your responsibility to have a label, but it should be internal, and have no outward effect on those around you except for the one or ones you serve, or vice versa.

My little girl is a slave, but only my slave, and not slave to anyone else. She is the only person who needs to know her label.

If you want to dabble in the "lifestyle", labels again are unimportant, these labels are typically self assumed, and not awarded based on education, or certification. You can assume you are an Owner, but if you don't own, who really gives a shit? Don't get me going about bisexual switches, to me that is just another way of say you are confused.

It's not often that I find myself agreeing with Marquis, but in this case I do, I shudder to wonder what that label would be?

I've heard it said that ignorance is bliss..so tell me is it true?

 

[DeservingBitch]

Don't get me going about bisexual switches, to me that is just another way of say you are confused.

Variation #247 on the theme "I know better than you do about your sexuality and what gets you wet/hard".

But thanks for bringing a little bit of ignorant diversity in the topic. The similarly ignorant comments to the effect that "all girls are bi, they just don't know it" was getting boring.

 

[Xantu]

Labels?

Never thought that words were all that important. Actions, now those rock. Labels are meaningless. Unless you are going to get a tattoo.

Xantu

 

[unfoundiamond]

I didn't take offense...

Why do you feel the need to explain this?

I'm sorry, I don't know you, at all and I'm not picking on you personally but.....

this kind of thing is a pet peeve of mine and I just want to understand it.

There are so many people that seem to be forever explaining themselves. I mean, we all get caught up in that sometimes and I don't know anything about your general habits, but did you personally get your question answered?

Why does anyone need to know who thought what? So you're the one who was "right"? Are you afraid to be wrong?

Fragile egos man.

I don't know how best to say this...

I thought I was "right" in my idea of what it was...

(since you ask me why I am explaining this... I was explaining my perception of it... I don't call myself a "sub" or submissive... but I want to know wtf it means if someone calls themself one )

Someone told me it was not just an abbreviation...

Basically she said all these things that a "sub" was, and I had never heard of "sub" implying strength of character, or rarity of submission...

So, since I don't know a lot of "lifestylers" in RL, I figured the only way I could hear more than one or two opinions was to put it on here....

A lot of people told me what I already thought... I kinda realized sometimes people have diffrent definitions... but that I do mostly understand it...

I really tried to be clear, but didn't make this thread to win an argurement... which is why I left out a lot of information, to be polite to her. Like I said, I respect her opinions and just thought it would be cool to see what everyone else thought...

So... Does it make more sence now?

 

[EmpressFi]

Don't get me going about bisexual switches, to me that is just another way of say you are confused.

He is allowed to express his opinion... and you're allowed to disagree with his opinion.. but perhaps people would listen to each other more often if there were less bitchy sarcasm involved.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I've joined lately and haven't read the entire thread but, like Marquis, I'm a little stumped as to the source of all this enraged debate.

In my humble, submissive opinion, if someone uses a term in good faith that doesn't accurately define me, I'll correct them - if I can be bothered. I do believe though that newbies, whether to the lifestyle or to the Lit/BDSM jargon bear-trap, deserve to be cut some slack.

Unfoundiamond, I don't believe for one minute that someone is going to cut you dead at a munch or whatever because you use the word 'sub' to describe submissive people. If they do, they're asshats and not worthy of your time. People are very touchy about their personal label but all it takes is a little clarification and the planet kink spins on it's lopsided axis.

I don't want to trivialise anyone's input but although I am technically a TPE slave, I would never bite someone's head off for referring to me as submissive. I am submissive - that's how I ended up a TPE slave. I don't see the argument here. I really don't.

 

[HottieMama]

Don't get me going about bisexual switches, to me that is just another way of say you are confused.

Wow... As a VERY out and VERY VERY unconfused bisexual woman, (and one who truly loves women, not just because some Dom told me to eat a pussy,) i find your statement HIGHLY offensive.

i don't judge the way you live your life. Don't judge the way i live mine.

 

[DeservingBitch]

He is allowed to express his opinion... and you're allowed to disagree with his opinion.. but perhaps people would listen to each other more often if there were less bitchy sarcasm involved.

Perhaps there would be less bitchy sarcasm if some people would just accept how other people define their sexuality and would stop making offensive comments about other people's sexuality.

 

[Etoile]

Can't we all just get along?!?!?!

GROUP HUG EVERYBODY!

 

[Netzach]

What's the premium on let's get along when someone has something so ignorant and offensive to offer up?

Although het male dom IS code, we know, for "I'm anxious about my butthole." Don't worry, you'll meet the right girl yet.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Basically she said all these things that a "sub" was, and I had never heard of "sub" implying strength of character, or rarity of submission...

"rarity of submission" ? huh? that's what 'sub' means? i am so frigging lost it's not funny anymore..seriously, this discussion is completely lost to me. as i said in an earlier post, to me and just about everyone else i know in this lifestyle 'sub' is simply an abbreviation for the word submissive, also used is 'subbie'. i would like to hear what the other side of this 'discussion' has to say on the issue..what exactly is different about a 'sub' vs 'submissive' ? not that i'm calling anyone out, i just think it would be interesting to see what exactly the other side of the 'argument' was saying......i guess to get a better understanding of this thread..maybe??

 

[HottieMama]

Personally, i think sub and submissive are fine, but "subbie" is patronizing.

Probably because the only times i have heard it said outloud were in a very "pat me on the head like a puppy" tone of voice.

 

[twysted73]

I've joined lately and haven't read the entire thread but, like Marquis, I'm a little stumped as to the source of all this enraged debate.

In my humble, submissive opinion, if someone uses a term in good faith that doesn't accurately define me, I'll correct them - if I can be bothered. I do believe though that newbies, whether to the lifestyle or to the Lit/BDSM jargon bear-trap, deserve to be cut some slack.

Unfoundiamond, I don't believe for one minute that someone is going to cut you dead at a munch or whatever because you use the word 'sub' to describe submissive people. If they do, they're asshats and not worthy of your time. People are very touchy about their personal label but all it takes is a little clarification and the planet kink spins on it's lopsided axis.

I don't want to trivialise anyone's input but although I am technically a TPE slave, I would never bite someone's head off for referring to me as submissive. I am submissive - that's how I ended up a TPE slave. I don't see the argument here. I really don't.

Here here. Three cheers. * applauds *

 

[unfoundiamond]

I've joined lately and haven't read the entire thread but, like Marquis, I'm a little stumped as to the source of all this enraged debate.

In my humble, submissive opinion, if someone uses a term in good faith that doesn't accurately define me, I'll correct them - if I can be bothered. I do believe though that newbies, whether to the lifestyle or to **the Lit/BDSM JARGON BEAR TRAP**, deserve to be cut some slack.

Unfoundiamond, I don't believe for one minute that someone is going to cut you dead at a munch or whatever because you use the word 'sub' to describe submissive people. If they do, they're asshats and not worthy of your time. People are very touchy about their personal label but all it takes is a little clarification and the planet kink spins on it's lopsided axis.

I don't want to trivialise anyone's input but although I am technically a TPE slave, I would never bite someone's head off for referring to me as submissive. I am submissive - that's how I ended up a TPE slave. I don't see the argument here. I really don't.

**That's the problem**

And the convo was online, but I am saying if someone uses it in front of me, than I am to assume its a abbreviation for submissive, right?

Because when she said she was a "sub" and I assumed she ment like submissive, and basically didn't like "submissive" because she wasn't submissive all the time

She considers herself "His sub" like meaning she was his equal most the time and was socially dominant and strong willed... and she insisted that's what "sub" ment... I can't tell her "no, that's not right" since I enjoy being submissive, but am also a confused bisexual switch (what can ya do, LOL*doesn't think she's confused*)

So I am not the authority on "subs"

I came here to ask if this was some like common jargon thing...

I didn't know if this was some thing I hadn't heard of...

(Or this is what I understood, K, If I got something wrong I am sorry in advance)

 

[Netzach]

Because when she said she was a "sub" and I assumed she ment like submissive, and basically didn't like "submissive" because she wasn't submissive all the time

She considers herself "His sub" like meaning she was his equal most the time and was socially dominant and strong willed...

No, there's no jargon shorthand for that. You have to re-explain it constantly I'm afraid.

 

[Etoile]

What's the premium on let's get along when someone has something so ignorant and offensive to offer up?

Although het male dom IS code, we know, for "I'm anxious about my butthole." Don't worry, you'll meet the right girl yet.

Wow, I should actually read this thread. I had no idea there was ignorance and offense in here, let alone autohomophobia! I was just in here to foster group hug mentality.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

**That's the problem**

And the convo was online, but I am saying if someone uses it in front of me, than I am to assume its a abbreviation for submissive, right?

Because when she said she was a "sub" and I assumed she ment like submissive, and basically didn't like "submissive" because she wasn't submissive all the time

She considers herself "His sub" like meaning she was his equal most the time and was socially dominant and strong willed... and she insisted that's what "sub" ment... I can't tell her "no, that's not right" since I enjoy being submissive, but am also a confused bisexual switch (what can ya do, LOL*doesn't think she's confused*)

So I am not the authority on "subs"

I came here to ask if this was some like common jargon thing...

I didn't know if this was some thing I hadn't heard of...

(Or this is what I understood, K, If I got something wrong I am sorry in advance)

she's his equal most of the time and socially dominant and strong willed? wow i keep getting more confused on this whole thread. i am Master's submissive but am very strong willed. *shrugs* i think i'm giving up trying to understand