Submission it's a lifestyle and not kinky.

[graceanne]

Just curious, would they consider submission a lifestyle then? Is being godly a lifestyle?

Being godly is, but submission wouldn't be considered a lifestyle any more than praying and worshiping would be considered a lifestyle.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

This has also led me to think of the whole other category of people I've heard of. Those that have a submission fetish.

That would be un-lifestyle but kinky.



Man, it's a big umbrella.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think for some it is kinky, hence the discussions that sometimes arise about what is real and what is fantasy...for others I don't think of it as so much a lifestyle as a way of living and for those it is not about weekend activities or what goes on in the bedroom. Sometimes that makes it difficult for one to understand the other, but reality is it shouldn't as it is about individuality and personal choices.

Catalina

 

[intothewoods]

Being godly is, but submission wouldn't be considered a lifestyle any more than praying and worshiping would be considered a lifestyle.

It is? I hate the word lifestyle. I don't really know what it means. I think I also have leftover bad vibes about it because of the term "homosexual lifestyle." Am I living a Jewish lifestyle? No, I'm just Jewish.

 

[ownedsubgal]

This has also led me to think of the whole other category of people I've heard of. Those that have a submission fetish.

That would be un-lifestyle but kinky.



Man, it's a big umbrella.

but which umbrella? i kinda see it as two or three big umbrellas, which occasionally just barely overlap. like the umbrella of BDSM, which i don't feel i fit under whatsoever....and then the umbrella of M/s, and maybe even a D/s umbrella too which would even encompass devoutly religious folk who believe in Dominance and submission as living according to god's will. i think all the hackles get rankled so often because too often we try to find commonality where there just isn't. but it's okay...there are enough umbrellas for everyone.

 

[ownedsubgal]

It is? I hate the word lifestyle. I don't really know what it means. I think I also have leftover bad vibes about it because of the term "homosexual lifestyle." Am I living a Jewish lifestyle? No, I'm just Jewish.

doesn't lifestyle just mean "way of life?" so for instance, being submissive would not be a lifestyle, but choosing to live in a D/s relationship, would be.

 

[graceanne]

It is? I hate the word lifestyle. I don't really know what it means. I think I also have leftover bad vibes about it because of the term "homosexual lifestyle." Am I living a Jewish lifestyle? No, I'm just Jewish.

Actually, I do too. I'm just sticking with the lingo, for my explanation.


Anyway, I checked the definition of lifestyle, just for clarity sake (in general, not addressed at you itw):

life style: a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes​

 

[ownedsubgal]

thanks for the definition Graceanne..."reflects one's values and attitudes"...i kinda like that actually.

 

[graceanne]

thanks for the definition Graceanne..."reflects one's values and attitudes"...i kinda like that actually.

No problem. Yeah, it was the top response, but it was also the one I liked best as a definition.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Being godly is, but submission wouldn't be considered a lifestyle any more than praying and worshiping would be considered a lifestyle.

Actually, I do too. I'm just sticking with the lingo, for my explanation.


Anyway, I checked the definition of lifestyle, just for clarity sake (in general, not addressed at you itw):

life style: a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes​

By this definition your explanation makes sense. Thanks

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

but which umbrella? i kinda see it as two or three big umbrellas, which occasionally just barely overlap. like the umbrella of BDSM, which i don't feel i fit under whatsoever....and then the umbrella of M/s, and maybe even a D/s umbrella too which would even encompass devoutly religious folk who believe in Dominance and submission as living according to god's will. i think all the hackles get rankled so often because too often we try to find commonality where there just isn't. but it's okay...there are enough umbrellas for everyone.

lol @ finding commonality. So, so true. While it's nice to know where to find people of similiar interests and mindsets to talk about things with, I don't understand what I perceive to be some 'lifestylers'' desperate need to forge a connection and gain acceptance with a community. It smacks of that whole 'we're into xyz and it's so not the norm, we have to stick together!' vibe, which I loathe.

 

[intothewoods]

Actually, I do too. I'm just sticking with the lingo, for my explanation.


Anyway, I checked the definition of lifestyle, just for clarity sake (in general, not addressed at you itw):

life style: a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes​

Thanks. I guess I have some discomfort with the term because it implies choice. Obviously a gay person could choose to live a closeted life. And I could choose to renounce everything to do with Judaism and drink milk with my pastrami sandwiches (joke). And a submissive person could choose a vanilla partner and not engage that part of themselves. But you can't really change your identity.

 

[ownedsubgal]

It smacks of that whole 'we're into xyz and it's so not the norm, we have to stick together!' vibe, which I loathe.

ditto.

 

[KoPilot]

Being an s-type is a little bit of both for me. And I mean a little, because it doesn't dominate my life. I just need to be able to act that way with one person, and I'm good.

My macro is much baser, though; more fundamental to my identity. So much so that I wouldn't even call it a lifestyle, it's just as much part of me as... I dunno, my girl parts. Though that's not to say it can't be turned into something really hot and kinky.

 

[Ardella]

It's all about individual perspective.

Some people call anything but missionary style as kinky because anything outside their approved rulebook is weird. To them, submission would be kinky in a negative way.

Others that do it all the time call it kinky because they like to think of themselves as outside the norm and anything "normal" equals boring, and who wants to be boring? For the "don't confine me to your rules, man!" group (throw up the horns when reading that, please) it's kinky but that's a good thing.

For others, it's simply a part of life, so why would it be kinky? Other things might be kinky that are not a regular part of (their) life, but not that.

For still others, kinky is just a word and it doesn't really matter either way.

By definition, I would "call" it kinky simply because submission in the context of D/s isn't something the moral majority of the world does (or at least admits to). That doesn't make it wrong or bad in my book. It works for some, not for others, and so long as no one gets hurt in the process, the language attached to it is unimportant to me.

I probably agree with this perspective the most.
Really, there are so many levels of submissiveness and the whole D/s thing, just as there are a myriad of different interests in Sex, no matter what you are interested in.
If someone is committed to a 24/7 relationship, I suppose you could call that a lifestyle. But does that make or break an interest in submissiveness only confined to the bedroom as being a lifestyle? And if the occasional submissive sex act is considered a lifestyle, then does that not also mean that pure vanilla missionary sex is also a lifestyle?
If submissiveness is a Lifestyle, then so is every other sexual proclivity, no matter what it is.

Is it kinky? Sure. Even if it is a regular part of your life, it is a deviation from the aforementioned vanilla/missionary. So by definition it is kinky... as is every other sexual path off the main road. I see nothing wrong with that as a term.

 

[Stella_Omega]

ditto.

Ditto that ditto.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Is it kinky? Sure. Even if it is a regular part of your life, it is a deviation from the aforementioned vanilla/missionary. So by definition it is kinky... as is every other sexual path off the main road. I see nothing wrong with that as a term.

but it's not about sex at all for everyone...or even about a relationship with another person. for some it's just a core personality trait.

 

[Stella_Omega]

What, if anything, did you bring back to that other discussion, FF?

 

[Primalex]

Please discuss. Who agrees or disagrees?

Is it just me who hates this kind of thread?

Here, little doggy, here is your bone. Now let me watch.


Chips or Chocolate? Discuss! DISCUSS GODDAMMNED!

 

[FurryFury]

Who the fuck are you calling a little doggy, Bitch?

It's not like I put a gun to anyone's head. They can each decide to read the thread or NOT. To discuss or NOT.

 

[Ardella]

but it's not about sex at all for everyone...or even about a relationship with another person. for some it's just a core personality trait.

True and good point. I agree. Otherwise that would be the same as saying that, for instance, 'my inherent shyness is a lifestyle', which of course it's not.

 

[graceanne]

Thanks. I guess I have some discomfort with the term because it implies choice. Obviously a gay person could choose to live a closeted life. And I could choose to renounce everything to do with Judaism and drink milk with my pastrami sandwiches (joke). And a submissive person could choose a vanilla partner and not engage that part of themselves. But you can't really change your identity.

Yeah, my issue with the word 'lifestyle' is its very faddish. Everyone wants to be in a 'lifestyle', just like all the people who claim to be bi who've never even had a homosexual relationship. I detest faddishness.

ditto.

Me, too. The phrase 'sister subs' make me wanna gag.

 

[FurryFury]

True and good point. I agree. Otherwise that would be the same as saying that, for instance, 'my inherent shyness is a lifestyle', which of course it's not.

Great point!

 

[FurryFury]

Yeah, my issue with the word 'lifestyle' is its very faddish. Everyone wants to be in a 'lifestyle', just like all the people who claim to be bi who've never even had a homosexual relationship. I detest faddishness.



Me, too. The phrase 'sister subs' make me wanna gag.

Agreed on both points.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yeah, my issue with the word 'lifestyle' is its very faddish. Everyone wants to be in a 'lifestyle', just like all the people who claim to be bi who've never even had a homosexual relationship. I detest faddishness.

I prefer that sort of faddishness to the people who claim to be straight and furthermore claim that God has told them to kill all the fags. Pretending to be bi is far, far better.
And sometimes it turns out... they weren't so pretending after all!

Me, too. The phrase 'sister subs' make me wanna gag.

Word.