Submission it's a lifestyle and not kinky.

[graceanne]

I prefer that sort of faddishness to the people who claim to be straight and furthermore claim that God has told them to kill all the fags. Pretending to be bi is far, far better.

I don't consider that to be faddishness, but self righteousness and delusions of grandeur. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but for gosh sakes; gossiping is in the TOP TEN and homosexuality is only mentioned twice in the whole bible. Want to guess what 99% of Christians do REGULARLY?

[/gracie vent]

 

[graceanne]

I don't think Stella was comparing bigotry to faddishness, only stating a preference of one over the other, and with that I heartily concur.

I know. I was just ranting.

 

[JMohegan]

I don't care why people embrace the term 'lifestyle', as long as they don't try to project it on to me.

It's the assumption that a particular sexual orientation necessarily involves the embracing of certain cultural symbols, language, clothing, and customs, that I find offputting.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Perhaps people just need to stop obsessing so much about words and terminology and learn to be comfortable leading their lives their way without feeling the need to judge others or get approval. 'Lifestyle'has been a word long used in the english language (eg. jet set lifestyle; healthy lifestyle etc) without anyone feeling it implied anything other than what it did...why do those who profess to be into BDSM, D/s etc., get so hung up on its connotations and people who use the term to describe their life and place in the spectrum? And this is not the only word/phrase many seem to obsess about as can be seen by the threads throughout the history of the forum. Lighten up people and enjoy life whatever form it is you choose!

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

This resonated with me. Great post, IMO.

I don't care why people embrace the term 'lifestyle', as long as they don't try to project it on to me.

It's the assumption that a particular sexual orientation necessarily involves the embracing of certain cultural symbols, language, clothing, and customs, that I find offputting.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I know. I was just ranting.

My point is that someone who "pretends to be bi" might not be actively homophobic, maybe even gay-positive...

In which case, I am all for the pretense.

Also, you know-- being bi-but-not-experienced is a little bit like being straight-but-not-experienced. Nobody would ever think someone was less straight just because they were a virgin. Being bi, or gay, or het is a personality trait, in the same way being submissive by nature is, as several people here have agreed. If someone wants to get active and make their sexuality into a lifestyle, more power to them-- but that doesn't make them more gay, or bi, or het in themselves-- just makes them more obvious to you.

 

[graceanne]

My point is that someone who "pretends to be bi" might not be actively homophobic, maybe even gay-positive...

In which case, I am all for the pretense.

Also, you know-- being bi-but-not-experienced is a little bit like being straight-but-not-experienced. Nobody would ever think someone was less straight just because they were a virgin. Being bi, or gay, or het is a personality trait, in the same way being submissive by nature is, as several people here have agreed. If someone wants to get active and make their sexuality into a lifestyle, more power to them-- but that doesn't make them more gay, or bi, or het in themselves-- just makes them more obvious to you.

Ok, I can see your point. For me, it's more a matter of seriously doubting that many people are bi, but haven't had a chance to have sex with someone of the same gender. Bi-curious is more believable to me than bi, when it's on a teenyboppers profile. And I still think it's a fad that's going around with teenagers, to claim to be bi so that they can all claim that they're part of a minority. I can count on one hand the number of teenagers I know who claim to be bi, who actually show sexual interest in people of both genders. On the other hand, I know quite a few teenagers who, if asked, will say they're bi, but only watch someone of their preferred gender, they only have relationships with someone of that gender, and I don't see any actual curiosity and interest that says to me 'bi'. And, I've made it a point of making it so that teenagers can talk to me. They tell me stuff I don't want to know, pretty routinely. If they were sexually attracted to girls, it'd come out.

 

[KoPilot]

I think I'd rather politely suffer a whole roomful of obvious, catty, manic fakes, than co-exist with even one in-your-face righteous bigot.

I'd take the company of someone honest, even if I hate what they think, over a group of amiable liars any day.

 

[FurryFury]

I'd take the company of someone honest, even if I hate what they think, over a group of amiable liars any day.

Hey!

I've missed you around here!

I agree with your post too.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'd take the company of someone honest, even if I hate what they think, over a group of amiable liars any day.

Well, if I really-truly hate what they think, I have to kill them. So that's out.

And it depends on what the liars are lying about. Lying about being bisexual, so what? it's mostly self-delusion-- they aren't lying to me in particular.

Besides, the odds are good that someone is telling the truth. I only need one body in my bed at a time...

 

[ultramarineblue]

It's the assumption that a particular sexual orientation necessarily involves the embracing of certain cultural symbols, language, clothing, and customs, that I find offputting.

Very well stated.

Perhaps people just need to stop obsessing so much about words and terminology and learn to be comfortable leading their lives their way without feeling the need to judge others or get approval. 'Lifestyle'has been a word long used in the english language (eg. jet set lifestyle; healthy lifestyle etc) without anyone feeling it implied anything other than what it did...why do those who profess to be into BDSM, D/s etc., get so hung up on its connotations and people who use the term to describe their life and place in the spectrum? And this is not the only word/phrase many seem to obsess about as can be seen by the threads throughout the history of the forum. Lighten up people and enjoy life whatever form it is you choose!

Catalina

I don't think it's so much about getting hung up on certain words as it is about how people use tend to hang onto a word as the way to express who and what they are. I think it's just the overuse of words that tends to put people off. The overuse being more along the lines of "I'm so up on things I know the latest catch phrases and buzz words" kind of thing.

 

[FurryFury]

I do find it irritating that it appears that 80% of the girls my teens ages say they are bi on their profiles.

I mean I have nothing against trying every option but this just smacks of, it's kewl, so I will say I'm that too-ism!

As for me, I'm bi curious. I'm a late bloomer in that and kink but I've decided not to pursue my curiosity until and unless I'm free in the future.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I mean I have nothing against trying every option but this just smacks of, it's kewl, so I will say I'm that too-ism!

This is true, even for adults.

 

[graceanne]

I do find it irritating that it appears that 80% of the girls my teens ages say they are bi on their profiles.

I mean I have nothing against trying every option but this just smacks of, it's kewl, so I will say I'm that too-ism![/Q0UOTE]

Exactly. And better put than how I said it. lol

 

[FurryFury]

I do find it irritating that it appears that 80% of the girls my teens ages say they are bi on their profiles.

I mean I have nothing against trying every option but this just smacks of, it's kewl, so I will say I'm that too-ism![/Q0UOTE]

Exactly. And better put than how I said it. lol

Thanks!

Here is the payment we agreed on for your post.

http://media.readersdigest.com.au/dynamic/39/39/59/cookies.jpg

 

[Stella_Omega]

I do find it irritating that it appears that 80% of the girls my teens ages say they are bi on their profiles.

I mean I have nothing against trying every option but this just smacks of, it's kewl, so I will say I'm that too-ism!

I think that of that 80%, perhaps thirty percent are being faddish, ten percent are experienced, and the rest are bi-curious, as you put it. But so what? Why be irritated? They are teens, for crissake. I prefer to encourage that sort of faddishness.

I am ALL for trying every option, whether or not it's "faddish." Any "fad" that promotes tolerance is okay with me.

I was a teen in the 1970's, and the percentage seems about the same to me. As one of the actively bisexual girls, I was the object of a lot of experimentation-- kissing, mostly

As for me, I'm bi curious. I'm a late bloomer in that and kink but I've decided not to pursue my curiosity until and unless I'm free in the future.

Again, you are confusing a personality trait with an activity.

Like I said before, we never question a virgin's heterosexuality just because she hasn't fucked a guy yet.

 

[VelvetSin]

I think that of that 80%, perhaps thirty percent are being faddish, ten percent are experienced, and the rest are bi-curious, as you put it. But so what? Why be irritated? They are teens, for crissake. I prefer to encourage that sort of faddishness.

I am ALL for trying every option, whether or not it's "faddish." Any "fad" that promotes tolerance is okay with me.

I was a teen in the 1970's, and the percentage seems about the same to me. As one of the actively bisexual girls, I was the object of a lot of experimentation-- kissing, mostly Again, you are confusing a personality trait with an activity.

Like I said before, we never question a virgin's heterosexuality just because she hasn't fucked a guy yet.

I like this post. When reading the thread, initially I got the other perspective more, annoyance with the faddish bi-curious. That post makes me think even the artificially "bi" label is more helpful than harmful. Someone is far less likely to be intolerant and hateful towards others if they at least pretend an interest, than if they flat-out deny the possibility at all. (And some might try it out of interest in the fad and discover a true interest for its own sake.)

And yeah, I've never questioned someone's heterosexual identity just because they were a virgin, so I guess it doesn't make sense to question someone's bisexuality or homosexuality if they've never followed through. Just like heterosexual virgins, sometimes it takes time to get past the anxiety or nerves to give it a shot.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I am ALL for trying every option, whether or not it's "faddish." Any "fad" that promotes tolerance is okay with me.

This is a good way to view a fad.

I like this post. When reading the thread, initially I got the other perspective more, annoyance with the faddish bi-curious. That post makes me think even the artificially "bi" label is more helpful than harmful. Someone is far less likely to be intolerant and hateful towards others if they at least pretend an interest, than if they flat-out deny the possibility at all. (And some might try it out of interest in the fad and discover a true interest for its own sake.)

And yeah, I've never questioned someone's heterosexual identity just because they were a virgin, so I guess it doesn't make sense to question someone's bisexuality or homosexuality if they've never followed through. Just like heterosexual virgins, sometimes it takes time to get past the anxiety or nerves to give it a shot.

This is one of the things I love about this forum. People offer thoughts that get me to consider things I haven't before. For the most part, people discuss different ideas rather than arguing about them. Discussion allows growth in thought while argument stunts the growth.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you, velvetsin!

Just like heterosexual virgins, sometimes it takes time to get past the anxiety or nerves to give it a shot.

Or finding the right person, huh? "Bisexual" isn't the same as "promiscuous."

Although the two traits can certainly co-exist in one person!

 

[FurryFury]

The so what is that there is so much fake-ness to it. Everyone wants piercing's, tattoos, to call themselves Bi but what about just being who they are and real instead. I mean I love and encourage experimentation but this shit is about as phoney as it can be for a great percentage of the girls.

Exactly how am I confusing a personality trait with an activity? I'm really curious how you see that and why you say it.

I don't question orientation. I think we are born with it or we are not. I do sometimes question out of control falseness which seems to be epidemic.

I think that of that 80%, perhaps thirty percent are being faddish, ten percent are experienced, and the rest are bi-curious, as you put it. But so what? Why be irritated? They are teens, for crissake. I prefer to encourage that sort of faddishness.

I am ALL for trying every option, whether or not it's "faddish." Any "fad" that promotes tolerance is okay with me.

I was a teen in the 1970's, and the percentage seems about the same to me. As one of the actively bisexual girls, I was the object of a lot of experimentation-- kissing, mostly Again, you are confusing a personality trait with an activity.

Like I said before, we never question a virgin's heterosexuality just because she hasn't fucked a guy yet.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I don't question orientation. I think we are born with it or we are not. I do sometimes question out of control falseness which seems to be epidemic.

on this i feel you 100%. the current culture of outright phoniness saddens and frustrates me to no end. it is not cute, and it is not funny, and it is absolutely NOT supportive of those who are actually born with the "fad" sexual orientation of the moment.

 

[FurryFury]

Yay! We agree!

*hug*

on this i feel you 100%. the current culture of outright phoniness saddens and frustrates me to no end. it is not cute, and it is not funny, and it is absolutely NOT supportive of those who are actually born with the "fad" sexual orientation of the moment.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Yay! We agree!

*hug*

feels good.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The so what is that there is so much fake-ness to it. Everyone wants piercing's, tattoos, to call themselves Bi but what about just being who they are and real instead. I mean I love and encourage experimentation but this shit is about as phoney as it can be for a great percentage of the girls.

And again, I say; So what? You can't expect maturity or a secure identity from immature humans. You cannot expect them to know who they are yet. They are just beginning to shape themselves. (It gives me so much pleasure to watch the young adults around me!)

And let me repeat: I grew up in a time when it was NOT generally "faddish to be bi," and outside of the precious lucky school I went to at the end-- I have experienced my share of homophobia and bigotry.

And therefore, I say;

It is, trust me on this, a far, far, better thing, and I am not just whistling Dixie here, that straight people succumb to a fad, if fad it be, and pretend to be bisexual-- even if they are deluding themselves-- because, you see, it potentially makes my situation that little bit less fraught with worry and danger.

I am ALLLLLL for this particular "phoniness." I encourage it. A fad of thinking you might be gay? It's a very, very good thing. It ought to be part of every teen's sexual awakening, that month or year of wondering which way you swing. Hetero ought not be such an automatic default, 80% of all teens ought not to assume they are het.

Exactly how am I confusing a personality trait with an activity? I'm really curious how you see that and why you say it.

I don't question orientation. I think we are born with it or we are not. I do sometimes question out of control falseness which seems to be epidemic.

When I said "personality trait" I guess I meant "orientation." Someone who orients bisexual should not need to demonstrate their bisexuality to prove it to you. They may or may not need to prove it to themselves. It could remain latent forever. It could pop up in a more emphatic manner when the person is 30 years old-- or 53.

I don't think falseness is any more out of control now than it was forty-five years ago, hon. It's just that you are seeing it now.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'm cleaning house, to Mr's standards.

That's definitely not kinky.