Summer Title Challenge

[Tzara]

Since Harry and butters have been outed as #2 & #14, respectively, and 4 poets assigned blame to me for #9, I'll fess up to the latter. That should make guessing a little bit easier if anyone is still doing it.

gm, you have a distinctive style. Yours was the only poem I could have matched to an author.

This is a good thing.

Authors spend years trying to find "their style."

You have yours, and your style is as thick as maple sap (is that an appropriate analogy?). I'm not from Vermont, so other than Ben & Jerry's and Bernie Sanders, I don't quite know what I would associate with your state.

Other than your poems, which remind me of Robert Frost (old Vermonter) 'cept not usually rhymed.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

3 StlGoddessFreya
5. UYS
7. Magnetron
10. remec
11. Always Hungry
12. Angeline
13. pelegrino
14. butters
15. Champagne
16. Magnetron
17. todski


Since Harry and butters have been outed as #2 & #14, respectively, and 4 poets assigned blame to me for #9, I'll fess up to the latter. That should make guessing a little bit easier if anyone is still doing it.

You got me, GM. You must have peeked at my Lit contributions -- they're mostly rhymed and metered.

However, here's a confession: I submitted two poems to the challenge.

 

[Magnetron]

Balls. I had #11 pegged as Pelegrino.

Well done, AlwaysHungry. It would have gotten my vote had there been a trophy at stake.

 

[greenmountaineer]

You got me, GM. You must have peeked at my Lit contributions -- they're mostly rhymed and metered.

However, here's a confession: I submitted two poems to the challenge.

Balls. I had #11 pegged as Pelegrino.

Well done, AlwaysHungry. It would have gotten my vote had there been a trophy at stake.

I liked it too. It had a playful quality to it. The tie together of "zephyr" with the female lover was smart.

(Merriam-Webster)
1 a : a breeze from the west
b : a gentle breeze
2 : any of various lightweight fabrics and articles of clothing

I also liked the first line of the 3rd stanza. I think the risk of formal poetry with its set rhyme, metrical pattern, and stanzas is that it can sound almost like a nursery rhyme. That little pause in the line without disrupting the pattern created just enough variation in my ear at least to make the poem more delightful.

 

[greenmountaineer]

gm, you have a distinctive style. Yours was the only poem I could have matched to an author.

This is a good thing.

Authors spend years trying to find "their style."

You have yours, and your style is as thick as maple sap (is that an appropriate analogy?). I'm not from Vermont, so other than Ben & Jerry's and Bernie Sanders, I don't quite know what I would associate with your state.

Other than your poems, which remind me of Robert Frost (old Vermonter) 'cept not usually rhymed.

Thanks, Tzara. I still have a little Jersey in me, and anyone in the East from the Mason Dixon line up would know that combination is just a little bit schizoid. (LOL)

 

[pelegrino]

I can see why people associate me with no.13, the subject matter fits me very much, but it is not mine, if it was I would have done it differently. No.18 is the very spirit of some of my poems, so I wish that it was mine, but it's not either.
Congratulations to all, some of them are extremely musical also and I wish I had some time for seting into music, but I still work with some of the spring challenge poems towards that purpose.
GM, my opinion is that for one thing, there is nothing wrong with meter and rhyme-there are a lot of things still left unsaid that could be said through them, and for another, there is nothing wrong with nursery rhymes, it would be very difficult or impossible for me to come up with one true one now a days.
I wish I had more time to be in here more often cause I really enjoy all of your company, but it’s… summer time!
Thanks, Trix, for your idea, you are a fine poetess and a fine lady!

 

[Magnetron]

#13 was mine as most guessed, but I am honored that a few suspected Pelegrino.

It's actually quite schizophrenic like myself as I imagine at least 4 different people singing it.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Ok y'all, here's the list...

#1 Champagne
#2 Harry
#3 StlgoddessFreya
#4 Mag
#5 UYS
#6 EllenMore
#7 Mag
#8 Pelegrino
#9 GM
#10 UYS
#11 AH
#12 Angeline
#13 Mag
#14 butters
#15 AH
#16 Mag
#17 Todski
#18 Remec
#19 Mag

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I liked it too. It had a playful quality to it. The tie together of "zephyr" with the female lover was smart.

(Merriam-Webster)
1 a : a breeze from the west
b : a gentle breeze
2 : any of various lightweight fabrics and articles of clothing

I also liked the first line of the 3rd stanza. I think the risk of formal poetry with its set rhyme, metrical pattern, and stanzas is that it can sound almost like a nursery rhyme. That little pause in the line without disrupting the pattern created just enough variation in my ear at least to make the poem more delightful.

The classical poets whom I admire would always create singularities and ironies within the formal structure. The bad poets (I'm looking at you, Edmund Spenser) wanted their phrases to be the same length as their lines, creating a saccharine monotony. The good poets would have lopsided sentences that end it the middle of a line, not arbitrarily, but to create a meaningful effect.

I am new to writing poetry, although I have a lot of experience translating it. My main background is music, which shapes my attitudes toward poetry.

 

[Magnetron]

Angeline nailed me 4 out of 5 times.







that sounded dirty too.

 

[Remec]

Well done Pelegrino! At least I can post mine onto my Poetry page on Facebook now.

No.18 is the very spirit of some of my poems, so I wish that it was mine, but it's not either.

Ok y'all, here's the list...
#18 Remec

Hey ev'ryone!

I was going to pop in and admit #18 was mine, but I see Trix has already posted the list. So I will just smile and thank anyone who might have clocked my poem as pelegrino's, as well as let y'all know how much I am enjoying the results of the challenge (I'm still in the reading/rereading phase of things.)

 

[Magnetron]

I had no idea who wrote #10, but it was my Second Place Winner.

Great work, Annie.

 

[Angeline]

Angeline nailed me 4 out of 5 times.







that sounded dirty too.

Mag I never would have guessed that last one of yours, though. It's too different from the others.

I can usually guess GM's poems (and he mine, I assume) because we're both originally from NJ. There's often some kind of giveaway to that in what we write. This time though it was the strong Yankee voice that told me that poem was his.

I kept going back to read Butters' poem because there's so much going on there with both sonics and meaning. It seemed finished to me!

I really like #11, too, though I don't typically go for ABAB rhyme schemes. That last line, especially, is delightful.

I shoulda guessed #18. It's beautiful writing imho.

And #6 is intriguing--I'd love to see more to the poem because it really left me feeling, "and then what happened?" The poet created an indelible scene in a pretty short poem.

Also Annie was too darn tricky or I would have guessed hers!

Thank you Trix for the great idea and the work you put in. This was fun--same title challenges always are to me. And it's great to see a core group of poets here who are into doing them!

 

[Magnetron]

Mag I never would have guessed that last one of yours, though. It's too different from the others.

Wish I could have devoted more time to that one. Had alot of distractions and interruptions that day.The clock was ticking. Ended up submitting it as.

Now I'm about finished rewriting all my entries.

 

[legerdemer]

So many really nice entries, all!

I feel sad I didn't really have time to take part in this challenge, and the poems whose authors I guessed were fairly obvious: I got gm, freya, several of Magnetron's, one of Annie's...

I entirely missed Angeline's and Carrie's... I misguessed Butters'. Back to more reading... and I'm still working on the poem I would have submitted, had I had enough brain wavelength span to actually finish it...

 

[Angeline]

Wish I could have devoted more time to that one. Had alot of distractions and interruptions that day.The clock was ticking. Ended up submitting it as.

Now I'm about finished rewriting all my entries.

That's good! You are fast and prolific, I've noticed.

I'm taking "barren" out of the last line of my poem. I think it's overkill.

 

[Trixareforkids]

So many really nice entries, all!

I feel sad I didn't really have time to take part in this challenge, and the poems whose authors I guessed were fairly obvious: I got gm, freya, several of Magnetron's, one of Annie's...

I entirely missed Angeline's and Carrie's... I misguessed Butters'. Back to more reading... and I'm still working on the poem I would have submitted, had I had enough brain wavelength span to actually finish it...

I started this challenge and couldn't finish a piece either, I put what I had on my Tripe thread, I'll revisit it when I do my edits later this year.

 

[Magnetron]

That's good! You are fast and prolific, I've noticed.

Like a stealthy jackalope that can never be photographed.

I even rewrote the other two in this thread.

 

[greenmountaineer]

So many really nice entries, all!

I feel sad I didn't really have time to take part in this challenge, and the poems whose authors I guessed were fairly obvious: I got gm, freya, several of Magnetron's, one of Annie's...

I entirely missed Angeline's and Carrie's... I misguessed Butters'. Back to more reading... and I'm still working on the poem I would have submitted, had I had enough brain wavelength span to actually finish it...

I'm looking forward to reading it.

 

[legerdemer]

I'm looking forward to reading it.

Well, maybe... this one is tending toward the raunchy.
But thank you, I hope you will.

 

[Magnetron]

Well, maybe... this one is tending toward the raunchy.
But thank you, I hope you will.

We wouldn't be here at Literotica if we weren't staunch supporters of the raunch.

 

[Magnetron]

I'm taking "barren" out of the last line of my poem. I think it's overkill.

I disagree.

It's a busy poem full of liveliness that could only benefit with some extreme contrast in the end.

When I shut the door
and turn the key I'll drive
to forget December's
slouching barren day.

When I shut the door
and turn the key I'll drive
to forget December's
slouching day.

When I shut the door
and turn the key I'll drive
to forget December's
slouching emptiness.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Nope, coincidental. I knew nothing about a fire watch in the Shoshone reservation. I picked "Shoshone" because of the sonics of it in the line. This is a great example of why a poet should research any personal noun used in a poem. "Shoshone" was the adjective. Forest was the noun, intended to take precedence, my bad.

Actually, Always Hungry hit the nail on the head, so to speak in his earlier post. I wanted to convey Dani as someone who likes boys, but then there's Esther with whom Dani may have a platonic or bisexual relationship.

Thanks for scratching that itch, GM. Your poem is quite atmospheric, like an impressionist painting, but there was clearly an expectation raised when you described Dani's response to the lumberjack, and I was on edge trying to figure out where it was heading. I'm excitable that way. Your ending was sufficiently ambiguous that I was in a bit of a crisis about it. That's an indication of a successful poem.

 

[Angeline]

I disagree.

It's a busy poem full of liveliness that could only benefit with some extreme contrast in the end.

When I shut the door
and turn the key I'll drive
to forget December's
slouching barren day.

When I shut the door
and turn the key I'll drive
to forget December's
slouching day.

When I shut the door
and turn the key I'll drive
to forget December's
slouching emptiness.

I think the real problem is "emptiness." It describes a state of being, so not really an active noun. It makes the ending passive. I'll put it on the back burner for a day or two and fix it.

 

[Magnetron]

I think the real problem is "emptiness." It describes a state of being, so not really an active noun. It makes the ending passive. I'll put it on the back burner for a day or two and fix it.

I just threw emptiness for the sake of an example.

The idea of humanizing December is intriguing; you already have slouching.