I have been in this situation once before. I was asked to top, I didn't want to and even stated that I was uncomfortable doing it. Needless to say, I did it and could never view him the same after that and it pretty much doomed our relationship. I just couldn't get past the mental picture of him begging to be fucked up the ass and then me being in control of his orgasm. Somehow it really pissed me off and freaked me out, but that is just me.
Switching for Service
- Thread starter Etoile
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Etoile
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Topping from the bottom isn't quite what I meant, although it is unquestionably a close relative of switching for service.
I guess I see switching for service as being explicitly told to take control, and topping from the bottom as taking control without permission, especially when the control-taking is disguised as submission. Switching for service is also a conscious act, whereas topping from the bottom may be conscious or subconscious.
I guess I see switching for service as being explicitly told to take control, and topping from the bottom as taking control without permission, especially when the control-taking is disguised as submission. Switching for service is also a conscious act, whereas topping from the bottom may be conscious or subconscious.
canadiancutie
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graceanne said:
It's really easy, don't worry, you'll get it sweetie, I think a couple people here figured it out pretty quick
Netzach
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Etoile said:
I guess I see "switching" purely for service more as "active service." Switching, to me, involves more of a change in headspace. What graceanne describes isn't really topping per se, but it's more of a switch for her than M's tying ropes is for him, because he's much more comfortable and innately in tune with the idea of doing this physical thing to make me happy. What's much harder is another request I laid on him, which is "if I have surgery, you are going to have to force me to take walks. You are going to have to nag, remind, and ultimately KICK MY ASS if I don't, or I'm going to get adhesions. I'm going to fight you, and you're going to have to win."
Needless to say this went down very badly, but I'd still expect him to do it.
H, my slave, I could not go here with. I truly have met few people without a top bone in their body (outside regular life), but he really is one, at least where women are concerned. He can handle topping men, but I think pure torture for H would be to make him top a genetic girl, and pure impossibility would be to try and have him top me in any way shape or form. (which also holds NO appeal for me, so why bother.)
I think it would be *interesting* torment to simply get aggressively fucked by someone else in front of him, but that's as far as that goes.
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catalina_francisco
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Netzach said:
I can relate to this as it is also something asked of me on a couple of issues. I do it, I don't like it, it often leads to heated discussions which often make it even more difficult the next time......but he does usually come back later and thank me for hanging in and doing as asked and apologises for whatever may have been said in the moment. It is necessary and I can relate to why, so it helps in terms of focus but doesn't always make it a walk in the park.
Catalina
Netzach
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catalina_francisco said:I can relate to this as it is also something asked of me on a couple of issues. I do it, I don't like it, it often leads to heated discussions which often make it even more difficult the next time......but he does usually come back later and thank me for hanging in and doing as asked and apologises for whatever may have been said in the moment. It is necessary and I can relate to why, so it helps in terms of focus but doesn't always make it a walk in the park.
Catalina
it IS a tall order, I know.
catalina_francisco
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Netzach said:
True in some ways but I think it also comes down to living realistically as opposed to trying to exist in a fantasy image. We have found that when you are living together it is a matter of doing what fits the needs of both which sometimes to those who can choose the times to be together etc., it is easier to remain in rigid roles popular in the stereotyped images. As you say, it comes down to simply being service, just not in a way which many envision...you have to try it to find the common sense in adapting expectations within those roles which work on a day to day basis.
Catalina
timberwolf05
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AAkasha said:
yes'M i wanted nothing to do with em.
that simple. if i hate your guts i aint staying.
ok?
if i had one i liked,........i might stick around. kinda like some people i know on msg boards.
some i like
some i hate
i am told, i am one picky anal mean hearted cranky ole man, and according to some i know i am accused of being the antichrist..........
the wolf
timberwolf05
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===============Netzach said:
THERE it is. i cannot imagine, what some describe as being handled with kid gloves. must be a girlie thing. didnt know dommes cottled males.
interesting.
gotta keep this in mind. gonna have to ask someone i know that wont get smart with me when i ask a question.
the wolf
catalina_francisco
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timberwolf05 said:
LOL, you wish...perhaps in your dreams, or are you Marilyn Manson gracing us with an incognito visit...in which case you are not old and absolutely devine.
Catalina
timberwolf05
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======================catalina_francisco said:LOL, you wish...perhaps in your dreams, or are you Marilyn Manson gracing us with an incognito visit...in which case you are not old and absolutely devine.
Catalina
hi catalina.
just making a smartass comment is all.
so many feel that my posts are SOOOO wrong that i feel i must be the devil in disguise here.
very very seldom do i feel i am treated like a human on here.
thanks for your post. i giggled.
i seldom do THAT either.
wolf
catalina_francisco
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timberwolf05 said:
Damn, I thought perhaps the divine one had decided to grace our forum and might bring Dita along for the ride!!
Catalina
snowy ciara
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I don't Etoile.
The thought makes my stomach turn over uncomfortably, but I would try it if I was ordered too. I know that if I could get around my initial discomfort, I'm creative and tough enough and well, fierce enough to give a masochist a wild time, but there's that line that seems so hard to cross. It's more than a line, really, it's like a chasm between the way I am and the way a PYL would presumably want me to be if I was toppy.
I'm afraid too, that I'll like it too much. It would be a monstrously huge change for me. Change scares me most of the time in a not got way. Ergo the tailspin I went into when I not only switched unis for a year, I up and went to a new country besides. I wouldn't want to do January and February over again at all!
The thought makes my stomach turn over uncomfortably, but I would try it if I was ordered too. I know that if I could get around my initial discomfort, I'm creative and tough enough and well, fierce enough to give a masochist a wild time, but there's that line that seems so hard to cross. It's more than a line, really, it's like a chasm between the way I am and the way a PYL would presumably want me to be if I was toppy.
I'm afraid too, that I'll like it too much. It would be a monstrously huge change for me. Change scares me most of the time in a not got way. Ergo the tailspin I went into when I not only switched unis for a year, I up and went to a new country besides. I wouldn't want to do January and February over again at all!
E
esclave_PP
Guest
I don't think I could do it again. It just isn't me. If ordered to I would, but it isn't in my heart. I make a miserable domme -- really quite crappy. In the business I run, my own company, I am top enough there, that when it comes to other aspects of my life, I'd just rather not make all the decisions, all the time.
E
esclave_PP
Guest
graceanne said:
Hee hee, beat me harder beat me harder.
E
esclave_PP
Guest
graceanne said:
ooooooooooo yes maam
again again 
graceanne
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malcah_ms said:ooooooooooo yes maam
Again and again? That's like, what? Twice? Are you sure? I could do it just once, or maybe three times. How long do you want me to wack you?
*wack*
Oh, no! Was that one to hard? You're getting a red spot!
E
esclave_PP
Guest
graceanne said:Again and again? That's like, what? Twice? Are you sure? I could do it just once, or maybe three times. How long do you want me to wack you?
*wack*
Oh, no! Was that one to hard? You're getting a red spot!
heheh better not bruise me, Master might get miffy or he'll like it.
Okay that's good....
graceanne
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malcah_ms said:heheh better not bruise me, Master might get miffy or he'll like it.
Oh no! I wouldn't want Master to get miffy. *covers bottom at thought* I'll be right back, I'm going to get some Aloe Vera Gel. How about some ice? Maybe we should use somehting else, something that won't leave marks.
E
esclave_PP
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graceanne said:
Ice would b e good...
Sorry for hijacking..now back to the thread...
Etoile
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Actually, you have explained perfectly why I feel this is such a devoted form of service for me. For me to do this requires stepping outside my comfort zone in a big way. I don't know how to do it, it's not in my nature to do it, and it's scary for me. I guess it's a mindfuck for me more than anything else - a game to see how much fear I can overcome.snowy ciara said:
