Taboo. Open discussion, no attitude.

[neonflux]

What's the difference? (serious question, not trying to be an ass for once)

Again, forgive the obtuseness, but why is that distinction so important? I recalling seeing an episode of Real Sex on HBO where a woman who had stated she was a lesbian give her partner's strap on a bj - I'd imagine the phallic nature of strap on would have a negative connotation in the lesbian domain.

I would suggest you spend some time on the LGBT boards, but that isn't the most LGBT of places on Lit, LOL. BTW, I never see you trying to be an ass...

I am bisexual - a true exactly-in-the-middle-3 on the old Kinsey scale when it comes to those with whom I am able to fall in love and to whom I find myself sexually attracted. To me (there are many folks who hate the term, many more who might have a different definition), queer is as more a cultural and political term than it is a description of sexual orientation. It is broader and more embracing than the term lesbian or gay, it includes a delight in gender-play and fluidity, a desire not to "assimilate" but to maintain a separate sub-cultural identity. From Wiki :

The word queer has traditionally meant "strange" or "unusual," but currently it is also often used in reference to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and asexual communities. Its usage is controversial and underwent substantial changes over the course of the 20th century. The term is still considered by some to be offensive and derisive, and by others as a re-appropriated term used to describe a sexual orientation and/or gender identity or gender expression that does not conform to heteronormative society.

Even though I am in love with a man, and he is and will continue to be my "primary" -hopefully into old age - I will eventually take on a woman lover (the relationship will be completely discreet from my relationship with ~D, except for a level of friendship, should both parties desire that). Culturally and politically, I "live" in the lgbtq (les-gay-bi-trans-queer) world - most of my friends are lgbtq, I interpret the world through that lens...

The designations (and self-identity as politics) are a product of a society which, for at least the past 400 years or so, has tried to control sex by catagorizing it and pathologizing it (ah Foucault !). I have been trying to find the author of this quote somewhere (for a thread on strap-ons and women in the GLBT forum) and couldn't identify it, but I think it was Lea Delaria who said, "I like penises, just not on men." *chuckle* Neon

 

[Betticus]

Not at all... I am a queer woman (not lesbian), but I know more than one lesbian Domme who occasionally enjoys being topped by a man. I switch but am learning that I am pretty much dominant with a strong masochistic streak. Explanation: I like the pain, but not the submission, which is quite different from obedience. While I enjoy topping both men and women, I'd rather be topped by a man when I want to feel those sensations - less of the psychologocial domination that women are so good, more of the purely physical...

Re: the taboo aspect... talking about this in many lesbian circles would be taboo. (WELL KNOWN SECRET: many lesbians occasionally have sex with men and still define themselves as lesbian. Sshhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone!)

Neon

You see, when I do the whole role reversal imagination thing and picture myself being topped by a Domme who is lesbian (or queer) I think that her making me cum would be on a whole new level of play because I know it would be purely out of sadism/domination/pervertedness and not because she gave a damn about me getting off. I know that she's doing it to me, not for me.

If that makes sense. Same way I could see Dominating a lesbian woman but with a different twist on the whole thing.

 

[neonflux]

You see, when I do the whole role reversal imagination thing and picture myself being topped by a Domme who is lesbian (or queer) I think that her making me cum would be on a whole new level of play because I know it would be purely out of sadism/domination/pervertedness and not because she gave a damn about me getting off. I know that she's doing it to me, not for me.

That's IF she let you cum! *chuckle*

P.S., Currently, when I play with a man, either as Top or bottom, it doesn't involve a lot of genital play and, because of the intensity of my feelings for ~D, never includes sex...

 

[Betticus]

Not at all... I am a queer woman (not lesbian), but I know more than one lesbian Domme who occasionally enjoys being topped by a man. I switch but am learning that I am pretty much dominant with a strong masochistic streak. Explanation: I like the pain, but not the submission, which is quite different from obedience. While I enjoy topping both men and women, I'd rather be topped by a man when I want to feel those sensations - less of the psychologocial domination that women are so good, more of the purely physical...

Re: the taboo aspect... talking about this in many lesbian circles would be taboo. (WELL KNOWN SECRET: many lesbians occasionally have sex with men and still define themselves as lesbian. Sshhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone!)

Neon

It's a flavor of kink I like, my first model Jordan was like that. Stupidly hot, loves women. We shared my bed for a long time though we rarely were sexual. I kind of dig the more butch girls. There's one here in town that I'm occasional pals and dance partner with. She's definately butch, keeps telling me to call her a dyke but she did tell me once that if she ever loses her virginity to a real penis she'd like it to be with me. Her gf was pretty pissed but she put her right in her place pretty quickly. It's never happened but we do flirt like mad about it when we meet up.

If I were doing a scene with her it would be purely from a top perspective. I would be doing it just for the heat of it and I think it would let me set aside the bits of nice lover guy to be just purely physical.

 

[Betticus]

That's IF she let you cum! *chuckle*

P.S., Currently, when I play with a man, either as Top or bottom, it doesn't involve a lot of genital play and, because of the intensity of my feelings for ~D, never includes sex...

I practiced the tantric long enough that I can orgasm at any moment with just a little push of willpower. Did just yesterday, gotta keep those skills sharp. When I first learned to do this I was like a kid in a candy store.

Keep in mind though, it's not an ejaculatory orgasm and thus lacks the finality of that but it can go on and on and on.

 

[neonflux]

I practiced the tantric long enough that I can orgasm at any moment with just a little push of willpower. Did just yesterday, gotta keep those skills sharp. When I first learned to do this I was like a kid in a candy store.

Keep in mind though, it's not an ejaculatory orgasm and thus lacks the finality of that but it can go on and on and on.

Very hot...

 

[Netzach]

Ahhh the dick bender. I think it's so well acknowledged that it's not a taboo so much any more.

The more taboo version is, I think, the rare but extant hook ups between gay men and lesbians or other women, usually not planned or discussed, the way the "dick bender" is.

 

[WriterDom]

I practiced the tantric long enough that I can orgasm at any moment with just a little push of willpower. Did just yesterday, gotta keep those skills sharp. When I first learned to do this I was like a kid in a candy store.

Keep in mind though, it's not an ejaculatory orgasm and thus lacks the finality of that but it can go on and on and on.

Finality? I don't usually go down after the first orgasm.

 

[Puman]

Finality? I don't usually go down after the first orgasm.

Ooooh, WriterDom... *leaves for cold shower*

 

[skittles_lm]

What's the difference? (serious question, not trying to be an ass for once)




Again, forgive the obtuseness, but why is that distinction so important? I recalling seeing an episode of Real Sex on HBO where a woman who had stated she was a lesbian give her partner's strap on a bj - I'd imagine the phallic nature of strap on would have a negative connotation in the lesbian domain.

this isn't true at all... at least not that I have found. Being a woman who likes women, I've got cause to know. And I've given many a bj to a nice strap-on. My current Domme~it gets her off so hard!

 

[neonflux]

this isn't true at all... at least not that I have found. Being a woman who likes women, I've got cause to know. And I've given many a bj to a nice strap-on. My current Domme~it gets her off so hard!

I am completely with you & your current Domme! Previously posted on the Do you give dildos blow jobs? thread in the GLBT forum...

From On Our Backs
For some reason both pictorals in the current issue include a little kink - not that I'm complaining

Neon

 

[skittles_lm]

I am completely with you & your current Domme! Previously posted on the Do you give dildos blow jobs? thread in the GLBT forum...

From On Our Backs
For some reason both pictorals in the current issue include a little kink - not that I'm complaining

Neon

lol, what a hot pic! Although, She is the one who about dies when her fingers get sucked on... meow!

 

[LadyAria]

I would suggest you spend some time on the LGBT boards, but that isn't the most LGBT of places on Lit, LOL. BTW, I never see you trying to be an ass...

I am bisexual - a true exactly-in-the-middle-3 on the old Kinsey scale when it comes to those with whom I am able to fall in love and to whom I find myself sexually attracted. To me (there are many folks who hate the term, many more who might have a different definition), queer is as more a cultural and political term than it is a description of sexual orientation. It is broader and more embracing than the term lesbian or gay, it includes a delight in gender-play and fluidity, a desire not to "assimilate" but to maintain a separate sub-cultural identity. From Wiki : Even though I am in love with a man, and he is and will continue to be my "primary" -hopefully into old age - I will eventually take on a woman lover (the relationship will be completely discreet from my relationship with ~D, except for a level of friendship, should both parties desire that). Culturally and politically, I "live" in the lgbtq (les-gay-bi-trans-queer) world - most of my friends are lgbtq, I interpret the world through that lens...

The designations (and self-identity as politics) are a product of a society which, for at least the past 400 years or so, has tried to control sex by catagorizing it and pathologizing it (ah Foucault !). I have been trying to find the author of this quote somewhere (for a thread on strap-ons and women in the GLBT forum) and couldn't identify it, but I think it was Lea Delaria who said, "I like penises, just not on men." *chuckle* Neon

I this post.

I'm using queer woman from now on. I hate the word bisexual because people assume:

a) I fuck anything that moves (promiscuous)
b) I want to hook up so my boyfriend can watch ( just to arouse men)
c) I'm just playing with women to sow wild oats (wild phase)

 

[skittles_lm]

I this post.

I'm using queer woman from now on. I hate the word bisexual because people assume:

a) I fuck anything that moves (promiscuous)
b) I want to hook up so my boyfriend can watch ( just to arouse men)
c) I'm just playing with women to sow wild oats (wild phase)

No kidding. I would rather be identified as a lesbian than one of those three things. Although I do adore men...from time to time... they have their uses!

 

[neonflux]

lol, what a hot pic! Although, She is the one who about dies when her fingers get sucked on... meow!

Isn't it? I would love to be either of them! Yea, getting fingers (or toes) sucked on...

 

[skittles_lm]

Isn't it? I would love to be either of them! Yea, getting fingers (or toes) sucked on...

oh lord I have such a thing for my feet getting touched, licked, sucked on, scratched... *writhe*

 

[neonflux]

I this post.

I'm using queer woman from now on. I hate the word bisexual because people assume:

a) I fuck anything that moves (promiscuous)
b) I want to hook up so my boyfriend can watch ( just to arouse men)
c) I'm just playing with women to sow wild oats (wild phase)

You so, so, so got it with a/b/c! Neon

 

[HottieMama]

oh lord I have such a thing for my feet getting touched, licked, sucked on, scratched... *writhe*

Oh good lord...NO...Please stay away from my feet...UGH..seriously..nothing bothers me more....

 

[Betticus]

Ahhh the dick bender. I think it's so well acknowledged that it's not a taboo so much any more.

The more taboo version is, I think, the rare but extant hook ups between gay men and lesbians or other women, usually not planned or discussed, the way the "dick bender" is.

I think of a little something I read in one of those cool abnormal psychology textbooks once upon a time about rape. Not just from a trauma therapy standpoint but the text stated that and I tend to agree... rape affects men emotionally/mentally in a more devastating way than women. Not to belittle either, far from it.

My point is a recollection of the author who was treating an adult male who was a victim of a home invasion robbery and the assailant was a sadist who also raped him. During the rape the penile stimulation of the prostate caused the victim to ejaculate, much to the delight of his rapist who then mentally tortured him as well because of it. He told the victim that deep down he was gay, loved being raped by a man and his cum proved it. The victim had deep emotional scars and some part of him believed that he did enjoy the rape and it caused him to not seek therapy for several years after and to not admit that it happened to anyone. Until the stress broke him down.

While I wouldn't want to break down a nice lesbian woman like that I do think that the scene along with the seduction, forcing her to cum possibly over and over again while bending her into a state of mind that I wish her to be in is just very hot.

 

[UK_Strawberry]

I think of a little something I read in one of those cool abnormal psychology textbooks once upon a time about rape. Not just from a trauma therapy standpoint but the text stated that and I tend to agree... rape affects men emotionally/mentally in a more devastating way than women. Not to belittle either, far from it.

My point is a recollection of the author who was treating an adult male who was a victim of a home invasion robbery and the assailant was a sadist who also raped him. During the rape the penile stimulation of the prostate caused the victim to ejaculate, much to the delight of his rapist who then mentally tortured him as well because of it. He told the victim that deep down he was gay, loved being raped by a man and his cum proved it. The victim had deep emotional scars and some part of him believed that he did enjoy the rape and it caused him to not seek therapy for several years after and to not admit that it happened to anyone. Until the stress broke him down.

Interesting.

I've long had thoughts along the same lines – that rape is emotionally / mentally more devastating for men than women. This is just a thought and as with Betticus I wouldn't want to belittle rape of either sex, it's an awful crime whatever the circumstances or whoever the victim is.

This is my thinking, for what it's worth. Somewhere during the growing up process women learn that any able bodied man in the world has the ability to rape them and at the end of the day there is very little we can do about it. It's not taught in class, (although that's probably changed now), our parents don't warn us so how do we know, how do we learn this fear? Is it instinctual? I don't know. Anyway, even if we don't sit down an think about it in detail women formulate a survival plan. It could be to lay there, get it over and done with as quickly as possible or fight with everything they've got etc.

But I don't think men have this natural fear / instinct about rape – it's something that simply 'can't' happen to them. So if it does there is no survival plan, and I'm not just talking about the actual attack. Maybe I'm wrong – I haven't carried out a survey or anything so please don't shoot me down in flames – it's just a theory but I think if you add in the fear that they in some way enjoyed the experience because of ejaculation then I think that would be utterly devastating.

Just to be clear on this emotive subject – I am not trying to suggest that there is a scale or measure of devastation. I for one was abused for two years as a child so hopefully I'm not completely talking out of my ass!

Anyway – I would be keen to know if men do think about rape, i.e. do they think it could happen to them, do they have a survival plan?

 

[skittles_lm]

While I wouldn't want to break down a nice lesbian woman like that I do think that the scene along with the seduction, forcing her to cum possibly over and over again while bending her into a state of mind that I wish her to be in is just very hot.

I think it's hot too. Like strapping on a dildo and making some guy suck it while telling him how much he enjoys it, etc. *meow* All about the mindfuck

 

[LadyAria]

No kidding. I would rather be identified as a lesbian than one of those three things. Although I do adore men...from time to time... they have their uses!

Agreed.

I chose lesbian for years since 90% of my relationships have been f/f. However, now my lt alpha is male that just confuses people.

I love the mind, not the body.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

No kidding. I would rather be identified as a lesbian than one of those three things. Although I do adore men...from time to time... they have their uses!

And what sort of uses would those be?

 

[BiBunny]

I love the mind, not the body.

I love this. I identify as bisexual, but I wish there was a label like "bi-romantic" or something. Rather than "I'll have sex with either gender," it would mean "I can fall in love with either gender (or both)." There really is a distinction, in my mind. Of course, Kitty's the only girl I've ever been in a relationship with, so you might as well call me a straight girl with a girlfriend.

 

[neonflux]

Agreed.

I chose lesbian for years since 90% of my relationships have been f/f. However, now my lt alpha is male that just confuses people.

I love the mind, not the body.

I am in a very similar boat. Have fallen in love with a man - and not someone who is also bi but a real honest to goodness dyed in the wool straight guy, and a "guy-guy" at that! (He does come from a family and cultural background in which homosexuality is not only OK but actually valued.)

In my case, I suspect that it has been more confusing for me than for most of my friends. I have been out as bi-queer for a long time - always harder to come out to new LGBT folks than straight... I have yet to take him into the Castro, even though there are some restaurants I know he'd love there. I'm afraid I'd start shouting out to folks, "I'm queer! I really am! I'm not just part of a "straight couple slumming. I slept exclusively with women for the past 18 years before him. Really, I'm Queeeeeeeeer!!! " I rarely take him to Valencia Street (the more lesbian part of town) for the same reason.

Went out recently with a friend who is dating again after a break-up - she is currently just having a good time and also has a "guy-guy" among her regulars - she won't take him to the Castro or Inner Mission, either, LOL...

So silly...
Neon