Tap That Axe: Axe House and Taproom

[Destiny]

Of course.. Whatever LitShark wants.. LitShark gets... <grins>

Chuckles, Your subby is showing. SHe blows a kiss to Ambrosia

I don't know LitShark, I like alot of things... Atleast the Song says you can be anything I like

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Chuckles, Your subby is showing. SHe blows a kiss to Ambrosia

That tends to happen every so often... <smiles>

 

[LitShark]

That tends to happen every so often... <smiles>

I bring it out in her...

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Yes.. You do...

 

[LitShark]

I don't know LitShark, I like alot of things... Atleast the Song says you can be anything I like

Try me.

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

I'm not sure who is daring who here.... Destiny daring LitShark or LitShark daring Destiny...

~sits back to watch~

 

[Destiny]

Grins Mischievious," can you be a rocket dildo that will fly me to the moon?

 

[LitShark]

"I..." LitShark trails off, a low rumbling is growing louder.

He places his hand on his stomach, looking ill. His sneakers suddenly burst into flames.

"I think that I..." suddenly, his voice is silenced, his face straining, contorting, shifting into a saddle while his tongue stretches up into the curve of the saddle, waggling lazily, invitingly back and forth.

The rumbling grows louder still.

In the distance a train whistle sounds.

All aboard! Next stop, the Moon.

Everything below the knee is now lost in billows of pale smoke and smoldering clouds of flame. More rumbling, explosions... arms and legs become winglike fins.

T minus- 10... 9... 8.... 7.... 6......

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Hang on Destiny... It think you are in for a RIDE!!!

 

[LitShark]

Grins Mischievious," can you be a rocket dildo that will fly me to the moon?

You're gonna miss your ride if you don't hurry up and sit on my face.

 

[Destiny]

You're gonna miss your ride if you don't hurry up and sit on my face.

By all that is unholy you are adorable Lit... that was a good one.

 

[LitShark]

By all that is unholy you are adorable Lit... that was a good one.

I guess everyone isn't meant to go to the moon...

 

[Destiny]

I guess everyone isn't meant to go to the moon...

Alas this is true.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Hey diddle diddle....

...the cat and the fiddle and LitShark wants to be bronzed... I just have one question.... what part does he want bronzed?
I'd much prefer chocolate, but hey, no one's asking me.
Welcome back, dude.

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Mmmm chocolate LitShark.. now that sounds interesting!!!

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

DW.. I think LitShark is like Beetlejuice... say his name 3x and he shows up!!!

HAHA...

 

[LitShark]

...the cat and the fiddle and LitShark wants to be bronzed... I just have one question.... what part does he want bronzed?
I'd much prefer chocolate, but hey, no one's asking me.
Welcome back, dude.

Thank you for the warm, chocolate dipped, reception. I'm very glad to be reunited with my OG profile.

And until the statue becomes... erect, I'm not ruling out any mediums or sculpting techniques.

 

[LitShark]

DW.. I think LitShark is like Beetlejuice... say his name 3x and he shows up!!!

HAHA...

Prophetic.

But I think I'm more like Candyman!

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Thank you for the warm, chocolate dipped, reception. I'm very glad to be reunited with my OG profile.

And until the statue becomes... erect, I'm not ruling out any mediums or sculpting techniques.

Do we get to lick the chocolate off??

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Prophetic.

But I think I'm more like Candyman!

Ah yes, the candyman .. can...
(have a post half written, but am tired and not feeling well this evening, so will finish tomorrow)

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Do we get to lick the chocolate off??

Lick it until it melts!

 

[WajaLover]

Kitty bounces in here, ignoring the lingering signs of her depression, and looks around for those to serve and fetch drinks for.

Oh Lordy, LitShark Sir, you really do have as many twists to your mind as I do, don't you? I thought that this was gonna be a real "Let's criticize LitShark and make him feel bad" thread. Instead, it's something totally different and I love it!

Love this place! I'm gonna be hanging out here whenever other things don't demand my attention.

Anyone who needs anything, ring for dis Kitty please and I'll be happy to fetch it as the only sub that I'm aware of lurking here.

 

[LitShark]

Kitty bounces in here, ignoring the lingering signs of her depression, and looks around for those to serve and fetch drinks for.

Oh Lordy, LitShark Sir, you really do have as many twists to your mind as I do, don't you? I thought that this was gonna be a real "Let's criticize LitShark and make him feel bad" thread. Instead, it's something totally different and I love it!

Love this place! I'm gonna be hanging out here whenever other things don't demand my attention.

Anyone who needs anything, ring for dis Kitty please and I'll be happy to fetch it as the only sub that I'm aware of lurking here.

So be it, then.

Henceforth, this Kitty serves the H/house. Direct to her any orders, needs or requests.

*From a dusty drawer, LS extracts a round, silver Lobby Bell. He places the bell on the scratched bartop, disrupting a well-fed spider who was reclining there.*

*On a bar napkin, he writes "KITTY" and places the bell on top of the napkin. From the same dusty drawer behind the bar he extracts a single, round bell. He laces a black ribbon through the hole and ties the ribbon around Kitty's wrist.*

So T/they can keep track of you...

*Assigning a sub to the bar makes him take stock of the dilapidated Hate Haven.*

Does Louis XIII go bad?

*The place looks more like the setting for Scooby-Doo and the Culturally Insensitive Island Ghost. Using another bar napkin, he sits at the edge of the bar, plotting restorations.*

 

[LitShark]

A truck pulls up to the edge of the property by moonlight, a dense fog laying heavy on the overgrown access road. The high-beams of the truck illuminate rusted cyclone fencing, a sign is hanging—COMING SOON.

“You’re late,” from the darkness, the voice of The Proprietor reaches the open window, an orange glow from the end of a long cigar illuminating his face from below.

“Shit… what do you expect on short notice? Some of this stuff is tough to come by,” the truck driver answered back, “you want it, or not?”

“I accept delivery. Begin installation.”

Two dozen Canadian Mounties in full regalia charge through the rows of cyclone fencing, riding on towering, white stallions with their uncut pricks dragging the ground behind them like lazy plows. The Mounties strike with precision, unloading the truck and undertaking massive construction tasks in a fraction of the time.

Painted over are the old graffiti walls, the tacky tiki themed garbage—gutted, even the Olympic sized pool itself, filled in almost completely. Where was once the notorious VIP section known as “The Deep End” now sits a massive, submarine-style moonshine still for distilling signature spirits. A chalk board advertises the current batch, it says: Rye Whiskey.

Inside the now-level pit that was once a pool, six wooden targets have been erected, three at each end. Three separate arenas where opponents stand shoulder to shoulder and throw axes in opposite directions—a creative workaround to imprecise dimensions. Rope cargo nets are stretched taut around all throwing spaces, the tension of the ropes sufficient to stop any stray axes.

The color scheme has been completely reworked. Red plaid, khaki and wood grain are the new colors of this rebranded establishment. The bar has been replaced by a massive redwood log, the sinks, drains, hoses and bar fixtures all custom set into hand-carved openings and surfaces. Glasses were mounted overhead in a network of overlapping antler sheds.

Various chalk boards advertise specials or witticisms:

“OUR OLD FASHIONED:

EXTRA AS FUCK

OR URS 4 A BUCK”



“Now Hiring:

Will Snuggle subs

4 service.”



“Drinking Problems

Require

Drinking Solutions”​

The Proprietor shrugs, signing a document and handing it back to the driver.

“It’ll do for a start…”

 

[WajaLover]

Kitty wakes up early, but not as early as she usually does, unfortunately. Hopefully LitShark understands and won't mind her slacking off a lil bit on the first day of cleaning the bar and serving the patrons.

Bouncing inside, she finds the place completely redone and she laughs and claps hard, dancing around with delight.

"Love your twisted mind, LitShark Sir! I absolutely love it!" She laughs some more and claps, spinnning around before searching for and finding the cleaning supplies and begining to clean up the chairs. No telling when they were cleaned last.