UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
- Joined
- May 20, 2007
- Posts
- 15,794
Haha. Yes, ok... I see what you mean. However, I'd say it is more an effect of there being an overlap with me trying to learn metre. I normally write free form. So this may be me overcompensating for what I see as a deficiency in my writing (lack of any technique). It should normalize soon.
Did you feel the poem was too well-behaved, then? To be honest, I didn't make much of a compromise between what I intended to write and how it came out — though I did modify a few words to make iambic feet, at times.
His lust for her consumes his days and nights
Captive of unattained karnal desires
Yearning for the slightest recognition
His lust for her consumes his days and nights
Won her in eternal matrimony
Assumptions unfold of abiding bliss
His lust for her consumes his days and nights
Captive of unattained karnal desires
You've both confused the hell out of me! Lines 1/3/4/5 and 7 should rhyme and also 2/6 and 8