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The Fraken-poem

half way there and it's starting to creep me out, having this thing in my inbox torturous, clouds and doubt...........

poet 4 has been pm'd
 
me too :cool:

sent my bit in, not sure if that's the end or not. he's a bit of a dark horse, this todski bloke :cool:
 
butters said:
me too :cool:

sent my bit in, not sure if that's the end or not. he's a bit of a dark horse, this todski bloke :cool:
Click to expand...

He's not the only one. :devil: But, then, that's sort of the point in an October challenge, right? Even if not directly for Halloween, the holiday sort of colours things in its own orange-and-black decor.


:cool:
 
Remec said:
He's not the only one. :devil: But, then, that's sort of the point in an October challenge, right? Even if not directly for Halloween, the holiday sort of colours things in its own orange-and-black decor.


:cool:
Click to expand...

*raises eyebrow* :cool:

yes, i suppose it does. i'm kind of wondering, now, if i should have given my bit of it a different ending :eek: oh well, it's a little too late for that now. :eek:
 
that all came together pretty fast! much quicker than i expected. probably because we only got to see the verse before our own, preventing us from trying to work too hard to incorporate the rest.

i hope frankenpom is wearing his best smile :cool:
 
Hospice

Monday night mortuary
duty,
rostered by Rihanna,
bitch hates me,
the halls drab grey,
windows too high to see
out, but light
streams from streetlamps in,
mingled with buzzing fluoro's
squeaking gurney, speaking
whispering its pain as I push

her shrouded form along.
She lay still when once she writhed
and squirmed, torn between
impaling and escaping the tortured
twists of tongue dancing her to joy.
I hear whispered laments
that now is not the time
to dwell on how cold it is down
here and how pretty her pedicure
has made the toe we've tied

with dainty bow of blue to match
distended veins, deepening to purple.
Demented laughter rises to crescendo,
then fades into a distant shriek
of damnation, as tightening
ligatures shudder and bite

leaving marks on soul as
well as flesh, and peaking
the collective interest of
the riff-raff observing
every tick-tock moment,
each pulse of heart or
draw of breath from the
safety of mirrored anonymity.
Quacks, and would-be quacks,
hiding their feathers beneath
the caring fascade of

Hippocrates. Can heaven be
so far away? Intervention,
medication, salves for the
relatives gathered in mutual
bed-side concern while we,
the center of this antiseptic
universe, wait as patience do,
to die with as much dignity
as is left to us. Time will
not pass without

tears
dust unto dust
microbes and bacterial disassembling
or, into the quicker heat of furnace flame,
pass our remains
once life slips from our clutch
chest no longer hitches, sloughs
off the long-drawn moments
eases into dis-animation
and so, for now
what heaven? yet, what hell?
the cursor blinks
keys' sterile tap tap tap
the blank stare of the steel drawer
the chill limbo
 
todski28 said:
May I say holy shit people!!!

Now guess who wrote what!
Click to expand...

damn, it's come out pretty well! congrats, poeteers! :kiss:

and even if i didn't assume you wrote first, i would have said that beginning was yours. gonna go back to look at the rest again.

i'm guessing the order as:

todski
champers
annie
tess
remec
me
 
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butters said:
damn, it's come out pretty well! congrats, poeteers! :kiss:

and even if i didn't assume you wrote first, i would have said that beginning was yours. gonna go back to look at the rest again.

i'm guessing the order as:

todski
champers
annie
tess
remec
me
Click to expand...

So close there!

There is only one wrong on that list!
 
todski28 said:
So close there!

There is only one wrong on that list!
Click to expand...
:confused:

sometimes i confuse tess and champers, but if i've one wrong, does that mean someone on that list didn't write a bit and someone else sneaked in all crafty-like? :cattail:


i dunno. there are two spellings i'd question - fascade (instead of facade) and patience (instead of patients - though that may be a deliberate doubling up) . . . maybe the others will guess right :D
 
Last edited:
butters said:
:confused:

sometimes i confuse tess and champers, but if i've one wrong, does that mean someone on that list didn't write a bit and someone else sneaked in all crafty-like? :cattail:
Click to expand...

hahaha, ok maybe there are two wrong

but it isn't tess and champers.....
 
It was actually Tess and Remec.

If any one else wants to try the same thing, I will be in from the other side of the fence :)
 
todski28 said:
It was actually Tess and Remec.

If any one else wants to try the same thing, I will be in from the other side of the fence :)
Click to expand...

i LOVE surprises like that :D

maybe after the Halloween biggie? i'd toss one into the park...

gotta go, under the dome. night :rose:

and THANKYOU for taking on what might have been a bit of a nightmare of a challege but you handled it well. :cool:
 
That worked beautifully. Wonderful stuff my friends. There's just enough personality of each poet to entice us on to read further. It is just full of atmosphere and I can see our lovely hunchback (todski) wheeling that gurney in the sub-basement while Annie (played by Kathy Bates) dresses up her patients for when their visitors arrive. Tess and Butters dole out medications a la Nurse Ratched on the ward while I call out Bingo numbers and help with puzzles in the day room to fritter away the time for families and residents all waiting to hear the latest test results from Dr. Remec...
 
Excellent work, folks. It was fascinating to read through it before and after identifying who wrote which part and recognizing bits and pieces of your individual styles. And kudos to todski for tying it all together so well. It's really seamless, Frankenpoem or not!
 
I must credit Remec for his inspired poetic shift, allowing Tristess and butters to finish this piece off in awesome fashion.

the undercurrent of eroticism from champagne, the shrieking death from underyourspell, the sad reality and social commentary from Tristesse and butters anchor of poignancy poetic gold here :D
 
Angeline said:
Excellent work, folks. It was fascinating to read through it before and after identifying who wrote which part and recognizing bits and pieces of your individual styles. And kudos to todski for tying it all together so well. It's really seamless, Frankenpoem or not!
Click to expand...

you know how that worked? it was the open-ended end lines of each piece that served to allow that seamlessness, imo. it was a stroke of genius. *nods*
 
butters said:
you know how that worked? it was the open-ended end lines of each piece that served to allow that seamlessness, imo. it was a stroke of genius. *nods*
Click to expand...

it wasn't until I was writing my bit that I realised to make it open ended
 
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