The "Fuck you cancer!" thread

[LallyH]

recurrent leiomyosarcoma...at least they finally agree on what it is, now if they can sort of agree on what we do next.

*hug* Hope you don't have to wait too long for a treatment plan

 

[scotluvsoral]

recurrent leiomyosarcoma...at least they finally agree on what it is, now if they can sort of agree on what we do next.

Hopefully they develop the right treatment plan and then, full steam ahead. Prayers for success!

 

[candygirl1200]

I normally don't venture into these threads but glad I did. 6 years have past since I lost mom and somedays I just miss her terribly.

I was brought up not to detest, insult, or to anger too easily.
but I am not that person anymore. Fuck You Cancer.
You slowly stole my mother from me.
You stalked her for 10 years You entered her body and our lives without permission. You turned her body against her, leaving nothing but pain. You disgust me.
Just who the fuck do you think you are?
You are pure evil,you are wicked and cruel.
Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you

 

[scotluvsoral]

I normally don't venture into these threads but glad I did. 6 years have past since I lost mom and somedays I just miss her terribly.

I was brought up not to detest, insult, or to anger too easily.
but I am not that person anymore. Fuck You Caner.
You slowly stole my mother from me.
You stalked her for 10 years You entered her body and our lives without permission. You turned her body against her, leaving nothing but pain. You disgust me.
Just who the fuck do you think you are?
You are pure evil,you are wicked and cruel.
Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you

*bear hug* Welcome candygirl. This is a wonderful and safe place to vent and to share. I've certainly done my share of angry venting here. Get it all out!!! FUCK YOU CANCER!!

 

[GoAztecs]

I normally don't venture into these threads but glad I did. 6 years have past since I lost mom and somedays I just miss her terribly.

I was brought up not to detest, insult, or to anger too easily.
but I am not that person anymore. Fuck You Caner.
You slowly stole my mother from me.
You stalked her for 10 years You entered her body and our lives without permission. You turned her body against her, leaving nothing but pain. You disgust me.
Just who the fuck do you think you are?
You are pure evil,you are wicked and cruel.
Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you

Sorry for your loss

 

[IrisAlthea]

recurrent leiomyosarcoma...at least they finally agree on what it is, now if they can sort of agree on what we do next.

I hope they come up with a good plan soon!

 

[GoAztecs]

Saw the pulmonary doctor yesterday and found out I have lung damage from the chemotherapy, from one of the specific medicines. She put me on prednisone and says it is a waiting game to see how the lungs react to it. Just another bump in the road to trying to beat this. I have my petscan later this month to see if the cancer is gone. Couldn't tell from the catscan. Fuck you cancer!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I normally don't venture into these threads but glad I did. 6 years have past since I lost mom and somedays I just miss her terribly.

I was brought up not to detest, insult, or to anger too easily.
but I am not that person anymore. Fuck You Cancer.
You slowly stole my mother from me.
You stalked her for 10 years You entered her body and our lives without permission. You turned her body against her, leaving nothing but pain. You disgust me.
Just who the fuck do you think you are?
You are pure evil,you are wicked and cruel.
Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you

Thank you for this. I haven't felt capable of rage for some time. I needed to read this.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

It's been so long since I felt the fresh anger at the murderer known as cancer. But, it's always there. The possibility. The threat.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

It's hard, guys. She can't speak with any coherency or volume. She's on oxygen. She rarely opens her eyes. I don't know if she was aware today that I sat with her.

I felt a little better after my meeting with the funeral director. Anything I can take off of my dad's plate is a positive: But fuck, he is a cantankerous guy: after I related the info he asked me to collect, he had a whole different plan. I have to remember that he's feeling so unmoored that I can't get too set. He's asked me to do some hugely demanding and unusual things for the funeral, and also insists that its all up to me. *bangs head*

The illusion of giving up control. I guess a facade of easy-going-adaptable-guy with a reality of solitary control freak is a family trait. [roll-fucking-eyes]

My brother is getting angry, steely and withdrawn when we're supposed to be working together to plan this funeral. He seems pissed that I'm even involved and a weird sibling rivalry thing seems to be erupting. What the fuck is that???!!

I am so tired, sad and my anxiety is off the fucking scale.

Thank you for letting me complain.

FYTFFFFC.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

@DGE - You know, stress affects people differently. It seems like you are more capable with coping, but I'm sorry you are getting extra stress when what you need is support. I went through something similar, and my brother felt like a shit head afterwards. I'm not sure if that knowledge helps you at all, but it might if you can think about it like that, instead of thinking that your brother is trying to add more stress to your life. He must likely isn't doing it purposely or out of spite (I'm guessing). He just can't cope as well as you.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

@DGE - You know, stress affects people differently. It seems like you are more capable with coping, but I'm sorry you are getting extra stress when what you need is support. I went through something similar, and my brother felt like a shit head afterwards. I'm not sure if that knowledge helps you at all, but it might if you can think about it like that, instead of thinking that your brother is trying to add more stress to your life. He must likely isn't doing it purposely or out of spite (I'm guessing). He just can't cope as well as you.

Thanks. I appreciate your perspective, C_N_C. I'm not really more capable at all. We're just all reacting in our trademark ways, I guess. My brother and I both withdraw and get controlling in these situations (read: exhibit asshole behavior). I'm more comfortable with emotion, though, for sure. I think maybe I am a little further along in the grieving process than he is, too.

Deaths and illness seem to bring out the best and the worst in families, don't they? They also seem to reveal our basic natures or default responses.

 

[desertslave]

I've been too chicken to peek in here for a while, trying to get my own messes in order, but I'm sending out love to everyone who wants it and hugs to SLO, DGE, and Keroin. I'm so sorry for your losses.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

FYC.

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

It's hard, guys. She can't speak with any coherency or volume. She's on oxygen. She rarely opens her eyes. I don't know if she was aware today that I sat with her.
DGE, You may never really know, but from my history (and being in healthcare, it is a long history) people know when they are surrounded by love. All you can do is be there. Talk to her as if she hears every word you're saying. Tell her everything you ever wanted to and didn't. Say, I love you as much as you want. It will ensure that you don't have too many, "I wish I would have told her.." in your future.

The illusion of giving up control. I guess a facade of easy-going-adaptable-guy with a reality of solitary control freak is a family trait. [roll-fucking-eyes]
I think that is a trait that tends to come out full force in situations like the one you are dealing with at present. I know mine did. It's a blessing and a curse. Use it to your advantage.

My brother is getting angry, steely and withdrawn when we're supposed to be working together to plan this funeral. He seems pissed that I'm even involved and a weird sibling rivalry thing seems to be erupting. What the fuck is that???!!
That my friend is called "normal." Coping comes in all colors. When my mother was dying, I threw my brother out of the house for being, in my opinion, an asshole. Now, I drive him to his cancer treatments and pray for his health daily. It's a fucked up world and we are all just players in the game of life. Remember, none of you are at your best right now. Don't hold what is said or done, during this time, against anyone. When all else fails, regardless of who it is, hug them and tell them you love them. I can promise they will hug you back.

I am so tired, sad and my anxiety is off the fucking scale.
It's time to take a few minutes, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and say a prayer if you believe in prayer. If not, close your eyes and think of the most loving thing possible. If you can look at the clear sky, a body of water, or a grove of trees do it. Acknowledge, that even though everything is in the toilet right now, the beauty is still there and will return to you when you're ready and able to see it again.
Thank you for letting me complain.

FYTFFFFC.

Deaths and illness seem to bring out the best and the worst in families, don't they? They also seem to reveal our basic natures or default responses.[/QUOTE]

So very true~! Know you are in our thoughts and prayers, as is your family. Everything you are feeling is normal and exactly as it should/needs to be. Be strong. Hugs to you.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Thank you, Apple. Your words and professional perspective help. Nothing feels normal, and I suppose that's normal.

desertslave and Curious.

 

[IrisAlthea]

It's hard, guys. She can't speak with any coherency or volume. She's on oxygen. She rarely opens her eyes. I don't know if she was aware today that I sat with her.

I felt a little better after my meeting with the funeral director. Anything I can take off of my dad's plate is a positive: But fuck, he is a cantankerous guy: after I related the info he asked me to collect, he had a whole different plan. I have to remember that he's feeling so unmoored that I can't get too set. He's asked me to do some hugely demanding and unusual things for the funeral, and also insists that its all up to me. *bangs head*

The illusion of giving up control. I guess a facade of easy-going-adaptable-guy with a reality of solitary control freak is a family trait. [roll-fucking-eyes]

My brother is getting angry, steely and withdrawn when we're supposed to be working together to plan this funeral. He seems pissed that I'm even involved and a weird sibling rivalry thing seems to be erupting. What the fuck is that???!!

I am so tired, sad and my anxiety is off the fucking scale.

Thank you for letting me complain.

FYTFFFFC.

I'm so sorry DGE!

Another vote for talking even if you don't think she's aware.
I have been the one they didn't think was aware.
I was lucky enough to survive and scared the medical staff by remembering a lot of what they had talked about when they thought I was out of it.
I also remember being annoyed with my mother who brought me in, because she couldn't get the phone number to my husbands job straight, while she was certain that I was way off in opium lala land.
So keep talking and be aware what you talk about with others.

I hope you can get through the funeral arrangements with as little friction as possible.
Complain away as much as you need though!

 

[Keroin]

It's hard, guys. She can't speak with any coherency or volume. She's on oxygen. She rarely opens her eyes. I don't know if she was aware today that I sat with her.

I felt a little better after my meeting with the funeral director. Anything I can take off of my dad's plate is a positive: But fuck, he is a cantankerous guy: after I related the info he asked me to collect, he had a whole different plan. I have to remember that he's feeling so unmoored that I can't get too set. He's asked me to do some hugely demanding and unusual things for the funeral, and also insists that its all up to me. *bangs head*

The illusion of giving up control. I guess a facade of easy-going-adaptable-guy with a reality of solitary control freak is a family trait. [roll-fucking-eyes]

My brother is getting angry, steely and withdrawn when we're supposed to be working together to plan this funeral. He seems pissed that I'm even involved and a weird sibling rivalry thing seems to be erupting. What the fuck is that???!!

I am so tired, sad and my anxiety is off the fucking scale.

Thank you for letting me complain.

FYTFFFFC.

I have just been where you are. And I agree 100% with everything Apple said.

What matters now is that you are there for her, touch her, talk to her, stand by her.

To quote a good friend of mine: "Standing by the dying is one of the worst, most helpless, and most fundamental human obligations we have. It's a test, because it's a truly selfless act, which is why a lot of people fail at it. You're doing the right thing, and there's no fucking consolation in that, but you're doing the right thing."

The family drama will sort itself out down the road. Concentrate on you and your mom and the long goodbye.

And know that I am hugging you and crying with you and sending you so much love.

 

[Keroin]

I've been too chicken to peek in here for a while, trying to get my own messes in order, but I'm sending out love to everyone who wants it and hugs to SLO, DGE, and Keroin. I'm so sorry for your losses.

Thank you.

 

[LallyH]

Big hugs and love to Keroin, DGE and everyone else posting here at the moment

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I haven't been here a while.
A year ago this week my best friend got her diagnosis, 6 weeks later she passed away.
I'm here again because it has been playing heavily on my mind.


Keroin, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending love and hugs to you.

DGE, don't waste a single second, tell her everything you need her to know. She hears you, she loves you.

Your whole family is in a place of pain. Being the glue that's holding everything together is one of the hardest things.
Sending you massive hugs xxx

GoAztecs, you have amazing co workers! Really hope the pred works, really hope you have beaten this fucker!

Fuck you cancer

 

[GoAztecs]

I haven't been here a while.
A year ago this week my best friend got her diagnosis, 6 weeks later she passed away.
I'm here again because it has been playing heavily on my mind.


Keroin, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending love and hugs to you.

DGE, don't waste a single second, tell her everything you need her to know. She hears you, she loves you.

Your whole family is in a place of pain. Being the glue that's holding everything together is one of the hardest things.
Sending you massive hugs xxx

GoAztecs, you have amazing co workers! Really hope the pred works, really hope you have beaten this fucker!

Fuck you cancer

Thank you for your kind words

 

[scotluvsoral]

It's hard, guys. She can't speak with any coherency or volume. She's on oxygen. She rarely opens her eyes. I don't know if she was aware today that I sat with her.

I felt a little better after my meeting with the funeral director. Anything I can take off of my dad's plate is a positive: But fuck, he is a cantankerous guy: after I related the info he asked me to collect, he had a whole different plan. I have to remember that he's feeling so unmoored that I can't get too set. He's asked me to do some hugely demanding and unusual things for the funeral, and also insists that its all up to me. *bangs head*

The illusion of giving up control. I guess a facade of easy-going-adaptable-guy with a reality of solitary control freak is a family trait. [roll-fucking-eyes]

My brother is getting angry, steely and withdrawn when we're supposed to be working together to plan this funeral. He seems pissed that I'm even involved and a weird sibling rivalry thing seems to be erupting. What the fuck is that???!!

I am so tired, sad and my anxiety is off the fucking scale.

Thank you for letting me complain.

FYTFFFFC.

The journey through our parent's passing is so filled with pain, anxiety and frustration. I have seen so many families struggle with it and the accompanying irritation with and arguments between siblings. I'm glad you could vent here. You have listened to so many of us! Venting is good for the soul and whenever I have vented my rage here...I feel better for the release!!! So please vent away...it is good for you, saves your family from hearing it and we all get it...much more personally than we wish but get it! FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!

 

[smtst5]

Today marks 13 years since this fucking disease took my big brother. FUCK YOU cancer!!!!

 

[scotluvsoral]

I've been too chicken to peek in here for a while, trying to get my own messes in order, but I'm sending out love to everyone who wants it and hugs to SLO, DGE, and Keroin. I'm so sorry for your losses.

Thank you