The "Fuck you cancer!" thread

[HellBenttoo]

Today I met with a radiation oncologist, a medical oncologist, a surgical oncologist, and five or six other doctors who I can't even remember. What was to be a simple excision of the tumor followed by radiation has become a monster.

Based on imaging and various tests the doctors are telling me I am looking at 15 weeks of chemo, 2 or 3 times a week. Then, after a 2 week rest period, we go for 6 weeks of radiation 5 times a week. Another 2 week rest and then surgery. Holy fuck!

Oh wait, at the end of the meeting the medical oncologist said, "Of course, all of this is based on the premise that the lesion on your hip is not part of the original tumor".

"Ummm, what lesion?"

"Oh, no one told you that the last CAT scan showed a lesion on your hip?"

"No, no one told me told me that."

"Well, we have you scheduled for a biopsy for that next week. After that we will make a final determination of how to proceed".

"Cool, glad I am being kept in the loop, doctor."

Fuck

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Today I met with a radiation oncologist, a medical oncologist, a surgical oncologist, and five or six other doctors who I can't even remember. What was to be a simple excision of the tumor followed by radiation has become a monster.

Based on imaging and various tests the doctors are telling me I am looking at 15 weeks of chemo, 2 or 3 times a week. Then, after a 2 week rest period, we go for 6 weeks of radiation 5 times a week. Another 2 week rest and then surgery. Holy fuck!

Oh wait, at the end of the meeting the medical oncologist said, "Of course, all of this is based on the premise that the lesion on your hip is not part of the original tumor".

"Ummm, what lesion?"

"Oh, no one told you that the last CAT scan showed a lesion on your hip?"

"No, no one told me told me that."

"Well, we have you scheduled for a biopsy for that next week. After that we will make a final determination of how to proceed".

"Cool, glad I am being kept in the loop, doctor."

Fuck

Good vibes and positive thoughts coming your way

 

[HellBenttoo]

Good vibes and positive thoughts coming your way

thanks Cuffs, always appreciated.

 

[IrisAlthea]

DGE, I am sorry for your loss.


Today, June 24, 2015 reality slapped me in the face. I spent six hours at the Siteman Cancer Center in St. Louis. I believe I have been in denial up to this point. With the permission of the participants of this forum I would like to use this thread as a catharsis. Being who I am, a control freak, tough guy, always in control and unable to admit weakness to those around me, I need a place to cry in my beer. Please, bear with me folks, I am going to use you guys as if you were a bartender who I may never see again.

Curt

I think this thread can be eccellent for that.
So, want another beer?

Today I met with a radiation oncologist, a medical oncologist, a surgical oncologist, and five or six other doctors who I can't even remember. What was to be a simple excision of the tumor followed by radiation has become a monster.

Based on imaging and various tests the doctors are telling me I am looking at 15 weeks of chemo, 2 or 3 times a week. Then, after a 2 week rest period, we go for 6 weeks of radiation 5 times a week. Another 2 week rest and then surgery. Holy fuck!

Oh wait, at the end of the meeting the medical oncologist said, "Of course, all of this is based on the premise that the lesion on your hip is not part of the original tumor".

"Ummm, what lesion?"

"Oh, no one told you that the last CAT scan showed a lesion on your hip?"

"No, no one told me told me that."

"Well, we have you scheduled for a biopsy for that next week. After that we will make a final determination of how to proceed".

"Cool, glad I am being kept in the loop, doctor."

Fuck

That can be a big problem when several doctors are involved - the need for them to communicate with each other and with you means that things can get lost on the way.
If you can, try to make them choose one person to be responsible for informing you.

More good vibes coming your way!

 

[LallyH]

HB, I'm so sorry to read about what you're going through, and the treatments that lie ahead.

But we'll all be here rooting for you, ready to listen and support whenever and however you need it.

 

[seela]

Mom v. breast cancer, round 2.

Once again they caught it very early, once again my sister's in a complete crying shock and once again her reaction is making me feel bad for not feeling worse.

Then again, mom's very stoic about this all too and seemed a little annoyed at my sister's very dramatic reaction, because now mom feels like she needs to make sure my sister's not going loopy, so it's probably a good thing I'm taking this calmly.

 

[scotluvsoral]

DGE, I am sorry for your loss.


Today, June 24, 2015 reality slapped me in the face. I spent six hours at the Siteman Cancer Center in St. Louis. I believe I have been in denial up to this point. With the permission of the participants of this forum I would like to use this thread as a catharsis. Being who I am, a control freak, tough guy, always in control and unable to admit weakness to those around me, I need a place to cry in my beer. Please, bear with me folks, I am going to use you guys as if you were a bartender who I may never see again.

Curt

This is a great place to do just that! In my life, outside of this thread, everyone thinks I am always calm and have things under control. It is here that I get to rant against the cell sucker and the craziness surrounding having the cell sucker in your life! So cry away, yell at the moon or anything and everything else you need to do to, to get through it all. None of these wonderful people ever seem to judge and always seem supportive!!! FUCK YOU CANCER!!!

 

[scotluvsoral]

I learned this morning that my neighbor of 2 decades and dear friend will shortly lose his brother to pancreatic cancer. 2 weeks ago he was working and apparently well.
Now they now he has mets everywhere, his liver is failing and he will be on hospice before the weekend is out.
I ache for my friend and all who love George...a lovely man...he will pass from this earth all too soon. Weeks if not days.

Fuck you cancer.

I am so sorry for your friend and those who love him, including you

 

[scotluvsoral]

Mom v. breast cancer, round 2.

Once again they caught it very early, once again my sister's in a complete crying shock and once again her reaction is making me feel bad for not feeling worse.

Then again, mom's very stoic about this all too and seemed a little annoyed at my sister's very dramatic reaction, because now mom feels like she needs to make sure my sister's not going loopy, so it's probably a good thing I'm taking this calmly.

Hang in there. I know that there is no RIGHT reaction. We each deal with our pain and our fear differently. Sounds like your mom needs your calmness and steadines s

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LallyH]

I learned this morning that my neighbor of 2 decades and dear friend will shortly lose his brother to pancreatic cancer. 2 weeks ago he was working and apparently well.
Now they now he has mets everywhere, his liver is failing and he will be on hospice before the weekend is out.
I ache for my friend and all who love George...a lovely man...he will pass from this earth all too soon. Weeks if not days.

Fuck you cancer.

I'm so sorry to hear this - that must have been such a terrible shock, to have come out of nowhere. Sending hugs your way

Mom v. breast cancer, round 2.

Once again they caught it very early, once again my sister's in a complete crying shock and once again her reaction is making me feel bad for not feeling worse.

Then again, mom's very stoic about this all too and seemed a little annoyed at my sister's very dramatic reaction, because now mom feels like she needs to make sure my sister's not going loopy, so it's probably a good thing I'm taking this calmly.

I'm glad they've caught it early, and hopefully the outcome will be positive. Round two must be tough on her, and all of you too. Sounds like you will have to support your sister as well as your mum - I know you will be more than capable

 

[seela]

Hang in there. I know that there is no RIGHT reaction. We each deal with our pain and our fear differently. Sounds like your mom needs your calmness and steadines s

I know, there's no right and wrong. Still I feel like I should be more shocked instead of feeling like "ok, we knew this was coming and now we deal with this like we did last time". I'm sure to those who don't know me my reaction seems downright cold.

Is your sister perhaps fearful for what this might mean for her too? Some people just aren't stoic. Your mother is lucky to have a daughter who is.

My sister's had the "breast cancer genetest", because breast cancer and other ladypart cancers run rampant in my family. I've said I don't want to know what her test result was and I don't want to get tested myself. She and I have both known for years and years that getting breast cancer is highly likely, so I have kind of acclimated to the thought and I suppose that's a part of the reason why it doesn't feel shocking to me in the least. Her reaction clearly is very different.

Just reminds me that we are very different people.

I'm glad they've caught it early, and hopefully the outcome will be positive. Round two must be tough on her, and all of you too. Sounds like you will have to support your sister as well as your mum - I know you will be more than capable

I'm sure the outcome will be positive. Both this time and the last the tumor was so small that it couldn't really even be felt yet. If there's no sign of cancerous cells in her lymph nodes, the procedure will be much the same as it was two years ago. At least now we know what lies ahead and can prepare accordingly!

Thanks for all the support. So far we're all (except my sister, but she crashed last time also) in high spirits and have no reason to doubt the outcome of the surgery and treatment.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[scotluvsoral]

I know, there's no right and wrong. Still I feel like I should be more shocked instead of feeling like "ok, we knew this was coming and now we deal with this like we did last time". I'm sure to those who don't know me my reaction seems downright cold.

I can remember when they told me about my colon surgery, I said " So it's hose repair, right? You cut the bad out and leave two good ends and then stitch them together" Doctor laughed and said that was it exactly. I kept that matter of fact attitude throughout. My family, however, had to deal with the emotional part of it and were scared to death. But to me...just hose repair! Why get scared before you have to face really scary stuff? Maybe it works out just right. Mine did!

 

[IrisAlthea]

I learned this morning that my neighbor of 2 decades and dear friend will shortly lose his brother to pancreatic cancer. 2 weeks ago he was working and apparently well.
Now they now he has mets everywhere, his liver is failing and he will be on hospice before the weekend is out.
I ache for my friend and all who love George...a lovely man...he will pass from this earth all too soon. Weeks if not days.

Fuck you cancer.

I'm sorry to hear that!
FYC

Not cold at all, practical. Strong. The kind of care people need.

This.

I'm sorry to hear that you and yours have to go through this again Seela.

 

[nurseclynn]

Today I met with a radiation oncologist, a medical oncologist, a surgical oncologist, and five or six other doctors who I can't even remember. What was to be a simple excision of the tumor followed by radiation has become a monster.

Based on imaging and various tests the doctors are telling me I am looking at 15 weeks of chemo, 2 or 3 times a week. Then, after a 2 week rest period, we go for 6 weeks of radiation 5 times a week. Another 2 week rest and then surgery. Holy fuck!

Oh wait, at the end of the meeting the medical oncologist said, "Of course, all of this is based on the premise that the lesion on your hip is not part of the original tumor".

"Ummm, what lesion?"

"Oh, no one told you that the last CAT scan showed a lesion on your hip?"

"No, no one told me told me that."

"Well, we have you scheduled for a biopsy for that next week. After that we will make a final determination of how to proceed".

"Cool, glad I am being kept in the loop, doctor."

Fuck

HB...
My thoughts are with you...have another beer.
When there are so many involved... as is necessary in these cases, often communication gets muddled. Figure out who the best communicators are...keep asking questions... try to have an advocate go with you to appointments...I know you're a tough guy...but no one is able to absorb info very well about themselves. Take another set of ears...have them take notes.

And keep coming back here for support. Hugs to you.
Lots and lots of hugs.

Fuck you cancer.

~clynn

 

[greeneyedvirgin]

I have never posted on this thread before...

I just lost my mother to cancer on the 19th.

Be strong everyone and don't give up the fight...fight as hard as you can.



FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!!!

 

[HellBenttoo]

Thank you everyone for the support and good thoughts. I don't really mean to bitch about the doctors, they are doing what they can and I realize that I am not their only patient. I am in a better state of mind tonight, took the bike out for a high speed run, scared the crap out of myself. The thought of giving up the bike and my adrenaline addiction is , as irrational as it sounds, one of the things that pisses me off the most.

For all the others going through this themselves or with family, my hopes and thoughts are with you.

Curt

 

[Novita76]

Just buried my uncle on monday. Exactly 2 weeks earlier to the day my best friend buried his mother. 2 funerals in 2 weeks sucks ass. FUCK YOU CANCER.

 

[midwestyankee]

Thank you everyone for the support and good thoughts. I don't really mean to bitch about the doctors, they are doing what they can and I realize that I am not their only patient. I am in a better state of mind tonight, took the bike out for a high speed run, scared the crap out of myself. The thought of giving up the bike and my adrenaline addiction is , as irrational as it sounds, one of the things that pisses me off the most.

For all the others going through this themselves or with family, my hopes and thoughts are with you.

Curt

Sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck!" Right?

I'm glad to see that you stuck around to share your experience here. It's a really useful thing to vent safely. I can't recall if I've suggested this before or not, so lease forgive me if I'm repeating myself: consider contacting Imerman Angels to connect with a mentor who has already traveled the road you're on. I found it immensely helpful to be able to talk with a fellow traveler when I was in treatment last year.

 

[midwestyankee]

Mom v. breast cancer, round 2.

Once again they caught it very early, once again my sister's in a complete crying shock and once again her reaction is making me feel bad for not feeling worse.

Then again, mom's very stoic about this all too and seemed a little annoyed at my sister's very dramatic reaction, because now mom feels like she needs to make sure my sister's not going loopy, so it's probably a good thing I'm taking this calmly.

Well damn, I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope your mother kicks the lump's ass again with great dispatch, and, perhaps, that someone smacks the sister upside the head to knock some sense into her.

On a mostly unrelated note: Netflix just sent me the DVD of Star Wreck, a Finnish parody. Did I get that recommendation from you?

 

[seela]

Well damn, I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope your mother kicks the lump's ass again with great dispatch, and, perhaps, that someone smacks the sister upside the head to knock some sense into her.

On a mostly unrelated note: Netflix just sent me the DVD of Star Wreck, a Finnish parody. Did I get that recommendation from you?

We'll be fine, my mom likes to rule things with an iron fist. I've been told that the older you are when you get breast cancer, the less aggressive it usually is. The last time around it was a very mild case, so to say, and this one seems to be the same. Serves as a really good reminder to keep fondling them boobies.

Star Wreck is probably my doing. I remember mentioning it when you said you had watched Iron Sky. It's from the same maker, but a very different story. I haven't seen it, so I don't know if it's any good, haven't seen Iron Sky either.

This was released last year in order to get crowdfunding for the sequel of Iron Sky. It's too funny and creepily accurate. Also features Laibach, which is nice.

 

[midwestyankee]

We'll be fine, my mom likes to rule things with an iron fist. I've been told that the older you are when you get breast cancer, the less aggressive it usually is. The last time around it was a very mild case, so to say, and this one seems to be the same. Serves as a really good reminder to keep fondling them boobies.

Star Wreck is probably my doing. I remember mentioning it when you said you had watched Iron Sky. It's from the same maker, but a very different story. I haven't seen it, so I don't know if it's any good, haven't seen Iron Sky either.

This was released last year in order to get crowdfunding for the sequel of Iron Sky. It's too funny and creepily accurate. Also features Laibach, which is nice.

I hope you're right about the age thing and its promise in your mother's case.

I'll report in a more appropriate thread after watching Star Wreck. Oh, my! A sequel to Iron Sky would be great fun.

 

[nurseclynn]

I learned this morning that my neighbor of 2 decades and dear friend will shortly lose his brother to pancreatic cancer. 2 weeks ago he was working and apparently well.
Now they now he has mets everywhere, his liver is failing and he will be on hospice before the weekend is out.
I ache for my friend and all who love George...a lovely man...he will pass from this earth all too soon. Weeks if not days.

Fuck you cancer.

Update: George died on Friday. 18 days after his diagnosis. He died at home, surrounded by those who love him. He was not in pain. He was an amazing musician with a pure voice and a joyful spirit. He was 20 years sober and a leader in AA.
He will be sorely missed.
I am grieving. And I grieve for my friend and neighbor who has lost his brother and his best friend.

Fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck you cancer.