The "I wish to receive Pm's" (twist on the how many)

[SassySheDevil]

Glad that is cleared up. But it still answers a few reasons women don't respond anymore.
I don't ask for books (cause face it, not many can talk like I can) but I do hope for something to take off with. "hi, how are you" while respectful, isn't a lot to start a conversation with. So if I reply "good, how are you?" it is now left up to you, to be able to start a conversation.
It's not fair to expect a guy to do cartwheels for you to get your attention, but you also have to understand that women do get more PMs then men, so something has to stand out.
I will say that since I closed my picture thread, what PMs I do get, are more conversational vs comments about my tits/ass. The girls who have active picture threads, are getting bombarded with PMs (I turned mine off on many occasions) and half the time, it's to say something they could have said in that open room.
I still remember the PM I got where a guy said "Sorry for the PM, but if I post in the open room, my other girls will get jealous"
Um... then you probably shouldn't be talking to me. So by that same token, many guys who are PMing are doing so because they are trying to hide you on some level. I don't want to be anyones secret.
There are so many reasons I really don't PM anymore, but there are many women who have come forward to explain why they don't reply.

So now that we've had the early morning debate.. enjoy your day!

 

[cleverdevil76]

.....

 

[SassySheDevil]

Some dudes just don't like interacting on the boards. It's not an anti-social thing. It's just not wanting to be tied to lit. Having said that, I can't speak to the poor conversationalists out there. I've seen what some women go through here. I would not want to be a chick online, and you're doing a fine job at not being bitter about it. Truly. Your post is written with a lot of compassion.

And yes, there are those guys. But, you also have to understand that if you are one of those guys, you will again have to work harder to stand out, because those who do interact make it easier for a woman to see what kind of person they are. I and many women post stalk, so if we see someone who looks like they have similar interests or they are easy to talk to, we will probably be more likely to respond. If you have nothing to go on, either by posts, or by a detailed profile (that might state similar interests) then make sure you are a great conversationalist. Like I said, you have to find a way to stand out.

I like to think that I am easy to talk to. I am rarely bitchy (unless you just happen to catch me on that day) But since I don't come on Lit, to get off, I like conversation.
And thank you.

 

[cleverdevil76]

.....

 

[BurningMonkey]

After all the above drama and debate, I'm curious:

If all women really want is just good conversation (as has been stated), then the question comes to mind:

Why here? You can find good conversation on any of a thousand bulletin boards.
So why hang out here on Literotica, which is an explicitly sexually-oriented website, if you're not looking for explicitly sexual interaction?

I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just trying to understand why women choose this bulletin board rather than any of those hundreds of others and then complain about guys who send them dick pics and invitations to cyber.

The fact that you are here, rather than there, would seem to indicate a readiness to sexually interact without all of the preliminary "hey, let's be friends first" stuff that one would reasonably expect in another context.

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

↑↑↑↑ valid question↑↑↑

Think I will drop by the Knitters forum and see if anybody might want to chat.

 

[BurningMonkey]

^^^^ Just don't send them a pic of your newly-knitted "banana warmer"; you'll hear nothing but crickets.

 

[CoolSideofthePillow]

I changed my mind and chickened out. No PMs please.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I don't think I ever said that all women want is conversation. I said that women often need more to stimulate them then a random guys dick. Women are a lot like cars. We need to be warmed up before driven. Women like their minds stimulated and then with the right person, the rest will follow.

I can only speak for myself. I came here for the stories, found the bulletin board part, then the how to section. I spent my first couple years in the how to section. I am never too old to learn new things I consider myself a very sexual person. I have no problem talking about sex with anyone. I am a very open person. Ask me anything, talk to me about your sex life, curiosities and things that you are into. But don't expect me to then get you off.

I came here because I thought that the men had grown up enough to have these kind of conversations without crying "blue balls, help me" I can totally talk the game, but that doesn't mean that I want you to fuck me after such conversations. It's like being in high school. At some point everyone has to grow up and realize that there is more to sex then just pulling your dick out and hoping a woman will jump on.

Go look in the personals and just gaze at some of the thread titles. Go look and see how many comments those who say something like "phone sex needed", "looking for hot chat", "any horny women on here", "hit me up if you want a good time" Kind of things. Then talk to the well known guys on the board who have many women to talk to, how they started. I'm pretty sure none of them will say that they offered up their dick, begged for release, called them for phone sex right away, or similar things. Most of those guys took the time to interact, or make conversation.

Now are those ladies turned on? More with that guy then the one who treats you like you are only around for his needs.

Women do get sexual, we get just as horny as the men. Do women end up in a sexual conversation at some point? Sure. But unfortunately as soon as we state such things, we get bombarded with PMs. I can go on one of these threads that ask questions and answer and it's only a matter of minutes before someone is PMing me.

When I post in the threads that ask if I masturbated today, if I had an orgasm today, where did I take the load, if I had sex. almost every time, I get a PM asking if I want to cum again, or if I need help.

Men want women to be more open about sex, but on here, if you are, someone ALWAYS feels the need to instantly perv out.

Just from posting in here, I have gotten 4 PMs.two were agreeing with what I wrote, one that asked if I just hadn't found the right guy to be sexual with, and one told me he could fuck the hostility out of me.

I have made many friends on here over the years, and not a single one started off a PM with something pervy. Not a single one ever made me feel like I was their sexual toy to use anyway they could.

I am entitled to come here and read about sexual stuff, interact on the boards, and even post pictures without guys assuming I'm here for the sex.

I am an adult and I can talk like an adult about sex. It's fantasy. It's knowledge. There are also plenty of things I learned from others by being on this site, that I took into the bedroom. I can come here and talk about my use of toys and other stimulants without being judged (or so I thought)

 

[SassySheDevil]

I changed my mind and chickened out. No PMs please.

That was not the intent. To make you chicken out.



I will go back to letting the guys beg for sexy chat.

 

[vanillyicecream]

Question for the guys - if you don't want to "interact on the boards," then why are you here?

I can answer unequivocally that the vast majority of PMs I get are from guys who almost exclusive post in the AmPic thread and/or Personals. I also get more than a fair share of guys who have literally been registered her for years without a post.

So, can someone enlighten me?

 

[Redhill123]

Enlighten Me?

Well I'm not sure that I can, but I can say that given my limited experience (post count - which does not accurately reflect my observance of this board); I have had a good experience with both woman and men who seem to be genuinely straightforward.

I know the experience for woman is probably different given the horney nature of we men. But I have found that courtesy, friendliness, tactful comments goes a long way to having sustained conversations that may lead to more intimate exchanges.

Just my $.02

R

 

[CoolSideofthePillow]

I guess I kinda chickened out because I thought it would be hot and sexy to receive a PM and get involved in some kind of exchange. But after I posted that I chickened out because I thought about having to explain it to my wife. That made the bile rise and I guess I feel a bit of anxiety about that - I don't even want so much as a whiff of adultery about me. I was worried that a PM might get too personal, so I retracted it.

If anyone wants non-sexy talk, then please PM me. I think I'm an interesting guy able to converse to a wide variety of people about several topics. I'll preserve the sexy talk for my wife.

Thanks,

 

[Chris_Michael]

Okay, everybody step back. The master is here. All shall bow and show your appreciation for me and my contributions to this forum. Furthermore, I am taking the time to grace you with my presence and word. You should be grateful for this chance to read such an admirable post. Now, on to the important message.

Men on Lit are idiots.

 

[Chris_Michael]

This shows you as awesome enough that the post stalking guys are going to send your more than ever. Just because of this.

Daaaamn dude, why don't you pull Sassy's dildo out your ass?!

 

[SassySheDevil]

Daaaamn dude, why don't you pull Sassy's dildo out your ass?!

I don't share my toys with anyone!!

 

[Iceprincess12]

After all the above drama and debate, I'm curious:

If all women really want is just good conversation (as has been stated), then the question comes to mind:

Why here? You can find good conversation on any of a thousand bulletin boards.
So why hang out here on Literotica, which is an explicitly sexually-oriented website, if you're not looking for explicitly sexual interaction?

I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just trying to understand why women choose this bulletin board rather than any of those hundreds of others and then complain about guys who send them dick pics and invitations to cyber.

The fact that you are here, rather than there, would seem to indicate a readiness to sexually interact without all of the preliminary "hey, let's be friends first" stuff that one would reasonably expect in another context.

I had to respond to this, it was too good to pass up.

You shouldn't assume we don't want an explicit conversation...we just don't want it with you. Let that sink in for a moment...

If you can't write anything worth reading in a pm, do you really think she is going to invite you to chat and try to turn her on? Those porn pick up lines you memorized, those work on porn stars, not real women.

Yes, we know you just need pictures or for us to turn the cam on and you are good to go. You don't really need a lot of conversation either. When you find the woman willing to watch you, send you pics, finger herself when you want it, expect nothing more than "do you like my cock" as conversation, I hope you use half a brain and keep her. A pm a week with "hey babe, thinkin' of u" should do it.

You should change your approach too. Stop trying NOT to be a dick. That is the only thing you want to offer so try and be the best dick you can be

 

[vanillyicecream]

LOL Princess! Good one!

 

[BurningMonkey]

LoL! Whoa! Stand down, warrior Princess!

I don't know how I became the target here; I was only asking a question. When you go to a car show, you expect to find women who are interested in cars. When you come to a sex site, one can reasonably expect to find women who are interested in having sex.

"Not with you" is a perfectly acceptable answer, in my opinion. But don't whine and carry on about how many times you have to repeat it; it's in the nature of the site. You can't move to the country and then in fairness complain about the country smells, including the fragrance wafting off the cow farm down the road.

As for me, I don't PM people unless they've written something I find interesting. I've never solicited cyber sex from anyone--it doesn't make sense to me. I spend my time in the "story ideas" forum and the SRP forum, because I like to write. And in a few of the playground threads that have something clever going on, like "write our own limerick" or "edit the one above you". That's it.

So turn your guns on someone else, okay? I'm not the enemy, unless you consider anyone with a cock and balls the enemy. Then I plead guilty and throw myself on the mercy of the court--though from the sound of it that would be a desperate and forlorn last resort.

 

[vanillyicecream]

The fact that you are here, rather than there, would seem to indicate a readiness to sexually interact without all of the preliminary "hey, let's be friends first" stuff that one would reasonably expect in another context.

Yeah, why would she target you? LOL!

 

[iamincognito45]

If I may, I'd like to offer my own unsolicited advice...

Much of what I have to say has been echoed by many here, Sassy in particular.

Guys, the good news is, it really is a very low bar here on Lit. The women of Lit are inundated with countless unsolicited requests for pics and cyber to the point it's a wonder any of them stay. Thank goodness so many wonderful ladies do. You really don't have to do much to stand out from the 'crowd' of unimaginative pigs that pervade the threads.

Trust me when I say, I have sent countless unsolicited PMs over the years. And I have almost always not only received a response, but received a very nice and warm reply. And you know what else? It's incredibly easy. But you have to do more than send a non offensive PM. If all you have as an opening is "How are you tonight?" you are likely to get nothing more than a "Fine" response. If a response at all. You have to engage them in conversation and encourage them to keep up the discussion as things progress to more than one simple PM exchange.

Just be marginally aware of who they are (reading profiles will do wonders), what is going on in the threads and follow a few posts. Sending a PM to someone and referencing something in their profile or a post they made at least helps them know you are paying attention. And it gets the conversation started. You will be surprised how willing these wonderful ladies are to interact with you. If you simply come across as being observant and willing to engage in a simple exchange. A little civility will do wonders for you around here!

Speaking of profiles, be sure to have one of your own. The more information you include, the more it will help the women know something about those with whom they are interacting. And be honest but prepared. If you all you talk about in your profile is how big your cock is, how experienced you are as a Dom and bragging of your conquests, you're not likely to get much in the way of a response.

Same with posts. Have some. Post in the threads your subject posts in. Even better (read - more points for you) if you interact her with or respond to one of her posts. I guarantee the first two things she will do in response to an unsolicited PM is check your profile and take a look at your last dozen or so posts.

If all you want is a visual or auditory stimulus to jack off, there are plenty of easy, free sites to find it. Presumably if you are here, you want at least some minimal, slightly more personal interaction. The point here on Lit is the women of Lit are a vast and diverse resource of fantastic and erotic messages. Following the simple tips above have led me to some of the most volcanic exchanges imaginable. As Sassy and others have said, the ladies of Lit are just as horny as you are. And just as interested in sexy exchanges including everything from PMs to pics to audio to chat to voice to even meeting. But they almost universally want and need some kind of connection before they will open themselves and their own intimate desires and dark fantasies.

Good luck!

 

[Kristen78]

If I may, I'd like to offer my own unsolicited advice...

Much of what I have to say has been echoed by many here, Sassy in particular.

Guys, the good news is, it really is a very low bar here on Lit. The women of Lit are inundated with countless unsolicited requests for pics and cyber to the point it's a wonder any of them stay. Thank goodness so many wonderful ladies do. You really don't have to do much to stand out from the 'crowd' of unimaginative pigs that pervade the threads.

Trust me when I say, I have sent countless unsolicited PMs over the years. And I have almost always not only received a response, but received a very nice and warm reply. And you know what else? It's incredibly easy. But you have to do more than send a non offensive PM. If all you have as an opening is "How are you tonight?" you are likely to get nothing more than a "Fine" response. If a response at all. You have to engage them in conversation and encourage them to keep up the discussion as things progress to more than one simple PM exchange.

Just be marginally aware of who they are (reading profiles will do wonders), what is going on in the threads and follow a few posts. Sending a PM to someone and referencing something in their profile or a post they made at least helps them know you are paying attention. And it gets the conversation started. You will be surprised how willing these wonderful ladies are to interact with you. If you simply come across as being observant and willing to engage in a simple exchange. A little civility will do wonders for you around here!

Speaking of profiles, be sure to have one of your own. The more information you include, the more it will help the women know something about those with whom they are interacting. And be honest but prepared. If you all you talk about in your profile is how big your cock is, how experienced you are as a Dom and bragging of your conquests, you're not likely to get much in the way of a response.

Same with posts. Have some. Post in the threads your subject posts in. Even better (read - more points for you) if you interact her with or respond to one of her posts. I guarantee the first two things she will do in response to an unsolicited PM is check your profile and take a look at your last dozen or so posts.

If all you want is a visual or auditory stimulus to jack off, there are plenty of easy, free sites to find it. Presumably if you are here, you want at least some minimal, slightly more personal interaction. The point here on Lit is the women of Lit are a vast and diverse resource of fantastic and erotic messages. Following the simple tips above have led me to some of the most volcanic exchanges imaginable. As Sassy and others have said, the ladies of Lit are just as horny as you are. And just as interested in sexy exchanges including everything from PMs to pics to audio to chat to voice to even meeting. But they almost universally want and need some kind of connection before they will open themselves and their own intimate desires and dark fantasies.

Good luck!

This was an incredibly long post, but there is nothing that I would disagree with! Thanks for taking the time to explain this incognito

 

[vanillyicecream]

After all the above drama and debate, I'm curious:

If all women really want is just good conversation (as has been stated), then the question comes to mind:

Why here? You can find good conversation on any of a thousand bulletin boards.
So why hang out here on Literotica, which is an explicitly sexually-oriented website, if you're not looking for explicitly sexual interaction?

I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just trying to understand why women choose this bulletin board rather than any of those hundreds of others and then complain about guys who send them dick pics and invitations to cyber.

The fact that you are here, rather than there, would seem to indicate a readiness to sexually interact without all of the preliminary "hey, let's be friends first" stuff that one would reasonably expect in another context.

This was an incredibly long post, but there is nothing that I would disagree with! Thanks for taking the time to explain this incognito

See the post above from this thread. Talk about not getting it.

 

[Kristen78]

See the post above from this thread. Talk about not getting it.

I know..I just figured I would acknowledge the lengths incognito went to try and explain. Some people will never get it though

 

[scorpio1121]

As I am finding out

I could not agree with you more and as I am learning the rope it is getting a little easier. I have been on Lit many years but was just a story reader and never came over to this side of Lit. I have had a few nice exchanges and some monumental failures. But your correct that it takes an approach that is a bit more refined that "Hey, you wanna f*&k?" And I'm still looking for that perfect approach, just seems to be just out of reach at times.