The Male advantage

[ownedsubgal]

lol it reminds me of a scene I saw in a club one time... female sub thrown over the lap of a male Dom for a serious spanking... yeah, her ass is inflamed, but she is squirming, humping and obviously no where near her limit.

Did the Dom's hand hurt? Maybe not... but sweat was pouring down his face and he was breathing like he had been running on the treadmill for 45 minutes fast... did I mention that science points to women being able to tolerate pain better than men overall? (Should they choose to.)

lol Imagine the elegance of a simple flick of the wrist with a cane and the beautiful, soft hand pushing her to her limit in less than half the time and with nary an effort... I don't know... wiring can be a strange thing.

But you definitely have your fans.

as weak as i am, i could probably cause more than a little bit of pain to someone with a whip in my hand. that to me isn't powerful or awe-inspiring...it just hurts. i suppose if it's merely about pain, experiencing it and inflicting it, then gender and strength are both irrelevant. anyone can hurt and be hurt, with the right equipment. but i'm in awe of a powerfully built (i.e. in shape) Man. someone that needs no tool whatsoever to send me sprawling across the floor, to black an eye, to bust a lip, to sprain a limb. i need the scales of physical power to be completely unbalanced...for them to be as strong, as i am weak...i need to feel that natural male aggression coming thru, often totally unconsciously to the male, and playing itself out thru brutal use of my body. when a man gets to that urgent, aroused (or angry)point where he completely loses sight of his own strength. where in his need he does not realize that my head is knocking loudly against the car door/floor/headboard, that my back is bleeding from his caresses, that i cannot breathe at all because he has forced himself completely down my throat and willl not let up...such masculine, animalistic displays bring out my femininity/submissiveness to unbelievable depths.

 

[lark sparrow]

as weak as i am, i could probably cause more than a little bit of pain to someone with a whip in my hand. that to me isn't powerful or awe-inspiring...it just hurts. i suppose if it's merely about pain, experiencing it and inflicting it, then gender and strength are both irrelevant. anyone can hurt and be hurt, with the right equipment. but i'm in awe of a powerfully built (i.e. in shape) Man. someone that needs no tool whatsoever to send me sprawling across the floor, to black an eye, to bust a lip, to sprain a limb. i need the scales of physical power to be completely unbalanced...for them to be as strong, as i am weak...i need to feel that natural male aggression coming thru, often totally unconsciously to the male, and playing itself out thru brutal use of my body. when a man gets to that urgent, aroused (or angry)point where he completely loses sight of his own strength. where in his need he does not realize that my head is knocking loudly against the car door/floor/headboard, that my back is bleeding from his caresses, that i cannot breathe at all because he has forced himself completely down my throat and willl not let up...such masculine, animalistic displays bring out my femininity/submissiveness to unbelievable depths.

I am glad you are happy with your choices or non-choices... Awe comes in all sorts of flavors, sizes and shapes. Gender and strength are obviously not irrelevent, but the "Male advantage" is limited, and not universal.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am glad you are happy with your choices or non-choices... Awe comes in all sorts of flavors, sizes and shapes. Gender and strength are obviously not irrelevent, but the "Male advantage" is limited, and not universal.

Have to agree....and if all that is required is size and the ability to throw someone across the room, I have had a few female friends who not only tower over and outsize most men, but can throw and/or punch someone a lot further...and quicker, as it is usually not expected they would do so.

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

Have to agree....and if all that is required is size and the ability to throw someone across the room, I have had a few female friends who not only tower over and outsize most men, but can throw and/or punch someone a lot further...and quicker, as it is usually not expected they would do so.

Catalina

i don't know of anyone, over the age of say, 14...who requires nothing more than a physically powerful partner in order to be satisfied. it goes without saying that the physical is only one part of the complete package. could be because i'm up a bit later than usual and just confused, but it seems that whenever someone mentions a physical preference, it's made light of, or assumed that the person with such a preference values the physical over everything else.

i would not be comfortable if my life partner or Master were not significantly larger and stronger than myself. that is just one of those wired-in, cavegirl type preferences. doesn't mean that a man merely needs to have rippling back muscles or biceps i can do pull-ups from, and i'm in love, or even lust, for that matter. males my own age are often in the best physical shape of their lives...i couldn't be LESS attracted to them. it takes much more than an imposing physical size, and strength, to even get me interested for a brief moment. it's the hard to explain/pinpoint subtleties of a man's nature that really get me. but yes, for me, the physical does make a difference. i have felt much guilt about this although i know logically there's no reason to. just as mere physical presence is not enough for me, neither is merely the right character and personality type. it must all mesh together. what helps me in dealing with the new Dominant in my life, is focusing on the ways he is more masculine/powerful physically. He has huge hands, for instance. almost abnormally so, likely from years of heavy manual labor. when i am thinking of him as less, because of his smaller stature, i can look at and focus on those hands and feel smaller, weaker, more feminine again. if anyone else has any other suggestions/tips on overcoming this, it'd be much appreciated.

 

[catalina_francisco]

i don't know of anyone, over the age of say, 14...who requires nothing more than a physically powerful partner in order to be satisfied. it goes without saying that the physical is only one part of the complete package. could be because i'm up a bit later than usual and just confused, but it seems that whenever someone mentions a physical preference, it's made light of, or assumed that the person with such a preference values the physical over everything else.

i would not be comfortable if my life partner or Master were not significantly larger and stronger than myself. that is just one of those wired-in, cavegirl type preferences. doesn't mean that a man merely needs to have rippling back muscles or biceps i can do pull-ups from, and i'm in love, or even lust, for that matter. males my own age are often in the best physical shape of their lives...i couldn't be LESS attracted to them. it takes much more than an imposing physical size, and strength, to even get me interested for a brief moment. it's the hard to explain/pinpoint subtleties of a man's nature that really get me. but yes, for me, the physical does make a difference. i have felt much guilt about this although i know logically there's no reason to. just as mere physical presence is not enough for me, neither is merely the right character and personality type. it must all mesh together. what helps me in dealing with the new Dominant in my life, is focusing on the ways he is more masculine/powerful physically. He has huge hands, for instance. almost abnormally so, likely from years of heavy manual labor. when i am thinking of him as less, because of his smaller stature, i can look at and focus on those hands and feel smaller, weaker, more feminine again. if anyone else has any other suggestions/tips on overcoming this, it'd be much appreciated.

Don't take it all so personally osg...the original thread post was about male supremacy in strength..I happen to think that is a limited view which I'm sure was put there to generate discussion refuting it, or at least discussion. As to the male physical, I have been there in younger years and found as I experience more facets of life it is not all, so I now can appreciate a wider diversity, but that is my choice and experience as yours is yours.

Catalina

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I dated my children's father for 9 years..5'5" to my 5'0, outweighed me by 50 pounds..could bench me 3 times over AND we fought like cats and dogs...but I get more of a sexual/sensual thrill from the touch of a crop or strop against my skin.

I have dated butch women, who could toss me around like a rag doll, femme girls who made me feel masculine. Big strapping guys and small petite feminine men. The only difference (really) when one gets down to it is the intensity that person can bring to your scene.

Like i said earlier, for me it's about the finesse of the stroke, not the power behind it. Personally, I like having big strong men on thier knees in front of me. It is a complete turn on. (as I said in the Switching Revisited thread long ago) When I have the urge to submit or when I need to be consumed..I turn to women or softly spoken almost femme guys. That whole velvet encasing steel thing.

Everyone has their opinions...

 

[Netzach]

Hey it's totally fine to have a physical type or preference. If I felt the need to be overpowered physically it'd be logical to look for giant strapping Butch men and women to do the job.

What WD offers as an "advantage" though is something I'd describe as a "characteristic."

Advantage all depends who you ask.

 

[angela146]

Sorry ladies but the male advantage isn't the strength or differences in butch vs femme personalities. If a man has to actually use his strength, he doesn’t have it.

It's in the maleness.

Have you ever seen a woman instantly and easily dominate a room the way a man with a "commanding presence" does?

No. Even the most powerful women have a thin, anemic quality about them that reminds me of diet soda.

Some of the difference is in the voice, some of it is in the body language and some of it is probably phenomenal.

 

[WriterDom]

So do chicks like strong dudes?

 

[angela146]

So do chicks like strong dudes?

Depends on the chick... This chick likes an emotionally strong dude. An appearance or perception of physical strength is also nice. Actual physical strength isn't that important.

But that's just me.

 

[Limbhugger]

The female advantage is being able to see past this BS.

 

[A Desert Rose]

The female advantage is being able to see past this BS.

LOL... a point I can't disagree with.

 

[Netzach]

So do chicks like strong dudes?

No. They like chicks.

Everything looks like a nail when all you have is a hammer in your toolbox, dude.

 

[s'lara]

Have to put down my own two cents.

There is nothing in the world like being intimidated by the presence of a Dominant despite what their build may be. It takes an incredible amount of will, imo, to make someone feel smaller, less than they are without exerting any physical force at all. That rings the submissive bell faster and louder than being man handled. i am not very tall and slight is a good word for my build so it is no feat that the average joe can knock me around if given the inclination. What makes my wheels spin is a Dominant bending my will with the use of their will alone ... making me want to submit without laying a hand on me. i guess this seems more significant to me because it does require some effort on the part of the Dominant to exert their dominance without having to pick up the cane.

Plucking the plug from a tail and shoving it down her throat vs. a simple "pull it out and swallow it whore" ... the latter gets my attention every time. Please don't get me wrong, brute force is addictive, but wanting to perform a task because it is the Dominant's will is by far more appealing. Mix both and there are no complaints.

lara

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

<snip>What makes my wheels spin is a Dominant bending my will with the use of their will alone ... making me want to submit without laying a hand on me.

I was thinking just the very same thing.

Presence is what has always grabbed me.

Feeling compelled by His very presence to do whatever it is He happens to tell me, without a second thought.

Sure, I love it when He slaps me. Or snatches me up by the hair and stops me in my tracks with His fist...but those are all icing...

I already know, without a single word passing between us, who the boss is.

I like that.

~anelize

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Bump with a chuckle.

 

[snowy ciara]

nice bump AA, Sir..

Even thought I've not done the sensation play thing, I think I'm in in the "skill, not brute force" camp. The reason is I've seen too many things other things in life where this it true.

Take fucking. In "Men in Love", (Nancy Friday, a compilation of men's sexual fantasies) a guy says that he's always had a big cock,and one of his very first girlfriends was always raving about it. For many years after he thought "all I had to do was show her my cock and then fuck her. .... I had a great many relationships fail because I didn't know how to seduce a woman." As he learned, it's not the cock, it's not the size of the cock, it's what he does with it that matters.

Or a non sexual example. I know a guy who kicks ass as a speed skater. So he decides to try out for the hockey team here, having no hockey skills at all. He expected that his speed and strength alone would be enough to get him on the team. The coaches went for a guy with a little less speed control, (he tends to crash sometimes.) and GREAT stick skills.

So anyhoo, brute strength is sexy, but I don't think it's an advantage in the long run.

 

[badlilthang]

So do chicks like strong dudes?

Strength as in physically strong is not needed for me...but a strong mind is for me a total turn on. A man who is always two steps ahead of me - is Someone i would turn back to - again and again.

..then again - i am not that into spankings...chuckle....crops are ok - whips - floggers, i just have never quite gotten the taste for a solid spanking....~wiggles intensly~...whispers...it hurts to darn much - and it is not the good kind of pain...for me, that is..*L*..

bad~

 

[angela146]

I've been thinking some more about this.

I have a different perspective on "male strength".

My father is an admiral. When I was growing up, he was the captain of an aircraft carrier. Before I was born, he served in Vietnam and earned three decorations higher than the silver star.

Growing up with him gave me a rather high standard for "male strength".

On the other hand, he isn't secure in his strength. He doesn't (usually) tollerate people challenging his authority.

I compare that with my husband, a high school teacher. His authority is much more relaxed. If a knife-wielding teenager threatens him, he doesn't feel the need to fight him. He can step back and not let his ego get in the way, whereas my father wouldn't be able to back down.

A challenge to hubby's authority or even his physical safety doesn't phase him.

To me, that's true strength.

When I was growing up, my father spanked me severely when I disobeyed him and sometimes when I just didn't happen to live up to his expectations (actually mom did most of the spanking but that's another story).

My husband is able to dominate me, keep me in line and command me with a look or a gesture. I don't obey him because I'm afraid of getting spanked (actually, I like it when hubby spanks me but that's yet another story). I obey my husband because his natural authority over me gives me a feeling of serenity.

To me, that is the essense of the "male advantage". Some men can inspire submission simply by being who they are. I've never felt that with a woman.

I'm quite sure that if my father and my huband were to get into a fist fight, my father would win. On the other hand, my husband is the only person I know who has ever called my father a coward, and he did it to his face.

Dad could easily kill someone with his bare hands, even though he's in his early sixties and, yet, he isn't as "strong" as my husband.

So, physical strength isn't necessarily the advantage (at least not where I'm concerned).

The best way I can describe it is that my father is an alpha male but my husband is something more than that. He's a man outside the heirarchy who doesn't participate in the struggle for dominance with other men. He doesn't have to. He doesn't need to prove his superiority to anyone. It's just there.

I suppose there are some women who have that quality. Perhaps there are a lot of them out there but whatever magic they have just doesn't work on me.

I'm convinced that there really is something in the scent or pheramones that factors into it. When I'm doing the laundry, sometimes I pick up one of my husband's shirts and the smell of it makes my knees bend.

Finally, as has been said before, it really is an individual thing. I think some people are more pre-disposed to be dominated by men and others aren't.

Ok, enough ruminating for now. I'm going to get one of hubby's shirts out of the laundry chute and go up to bed.

 

[badlilthang]

The best way I can describe it is that my father is an alpha male but my husband is something more than that. He's a man outside the heirarchy who doesn't participate in the struggle for dominance with other men. He doesn't have to. He doesn't need to prove his superiority to anyone. It's just there.

i nodded intensly reading your post...i could not agree more. Men who has to push their "manlyness" forward all the time....and is unable to step back from any challenge to it...are in my eyes weaker men than the one knowing his limits..and chosing another route..than a direct attack.

and it was sooooo sweet to read the lovely words about Your husband.....in this day and age - love like that is hard to find - and it so much sweeter when it is naturally there...thank you for making me smile so big today! ~s~

bad~

 

[PyroDemon]

Although I am physically strong and constantly strive to be even stronger. I would like to believe it is my intellect that makes me a "strong" person. Sure, the power to pick up and toss around my partner is important to me. I tend to like being bigger and stronger physically. But if I am confronted, I tend to think I have lost if I have to use physical violence without it being a last ditch reason. I know that my physical prowess has not been what eventually makes me and my partner happy. It helps in alot of ways and I am sure is why some are drawn to me ( yeah I like thinking that, so what ? LOL ), but if that is all I had to offer I am sure I would not have the marriage I have nor the life I lead. I have always been a bit jealous of the power of a woman. In their most vulnerable moments they show incredible strength, of both mind and body. The levels of abuse and pain they can take and still keep going has always been a source of inspiration. I tend to find they are there strongest when you would think them at their weakest. now that is true strength. I have never met the woman that I thought could control me. I know that I would not want to have physical strength be my only way of control either. If that was all I had I would be a pretty piss poor boss or leader.

 

[Netzach]

"outside the hierarchy that participates in the struggle for authority with other men"

That's really been the only kind of male dominance/authority I've respnded to, usually I respect male doms as people/friends inasmuch as I'm respected, but I don't *get it* or *see it* ...much as I'm sure the feeling is often mutual. Most male Doms I know live intensely within that heirarchy, even when they insist they don't.

Few people with that kind of total self confidence exist, male or female. I've been honored to be held in that kind of esteem by a few people, and I'm always amazed because I know the intense doubt I can be prone to at times. As deep as my doubt often runs, so my self-confidence and self-knowledge at other times, they must be kind and willing to take bad with good.

I've held several, male and female, in that kind of esteem. I'm 30 years old, if I can't acknowledge someone's wisdom who's been walking the world twice as long as me, I don't think that makes me more a Domme, just more cut off from learning things. If I can't permit myself to have a service ethic around certain people I think deserve my respect, even deference because something about who they are just shines, I think I'm cutting off a part of my own development.