The NEW UK Kink Thread

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LucyBee01]

eighties song please! You can sing along while you dance too. . . Bouncy if there is that option. Or depeche mode. Or James. ......what ever.....just something you like

Was this eighties - Bryan Adams Summer of 69?
Well, I danced that one for you Elle Sang along too

 

[LucyBee01]

Hiya UKers.

I figured this would be a good thread to ask about the approx. cost of living in London. How much would you have to pay rent for a decent apartment in London in which you wouldn't nearly freeze to death come winter (although I realize this might be a lot to ask for)? One bedroom, preferably decent kitchen, less than 1 hour commute to City.

Do you want the place to yourself?
If you are able to share, spareroom.co.uk is a good hunting ground.

There is a website where you can put in the postcode of where you want to get to, say within an hour, and it will show you all the places you could live that will get you there within that time. Google for Mapumental.

There are a few pockets in London which aren't ridiculously priced yet, but it's such a hot market, both for renting or buying.

Feel free to ask about areas. If I don't know them myself, sure I will know people that will.

 

[seela]

Do you want the place to yourself?
If you are able to share, spareroom.co.uk is a good hunting ground.

There is a website where you can put in the postcode of where you want to get to, say within an hour, and it will show you all the places you could live that will get you there within that time. Google for Mapumental.

There are a few pockets in London which aren't ridiculously priced yet, but it's such a hot market, both for renting or buying.

Feel free to ask about areas. If I don't know them myself, sure I will know people that will.

Nope, not comfortable sharing.

Thanks, I'll keep searching. What I'm looking for are very rough general estimates, but I realize they may be difficult to provide.

 

[LucyBee01]

Nope, not comfortable sharing.

Thanks, I'll keep searching. What I'm looking for are very rough general estimates, but I realize they may be difficult to provide.

this might give you some ideas:
https://www.london.gov.uk/what-we-do/housing-and-land/renting/london-rents-map

This is for renting, fyi.

 

[JamesRTickit]

Rents

Nope, not comfortable sharing.

Thanks, I'll keep searching. What I'm looking for are very rough general estimates, but I realize they may be difficult to provide.

Are a nightmare. A self contained flat even an hour out of London is at least GBP 700 a month, plus 100 GBP council tax. Add gas, electric an water you need another 100 per month,

So renting is around GBP 900 a month, plus food etc.
An hour out of London requires train, also expensive.

Sadly London is one of the most expensive places on earth!!

 

[seela]

this might give you some ideas:
https://www.london.gov.uk/what-we-do/housing-and-land/renting/london-rents-map

This is for renting, fyi.

Are a nightmare. A self contained flat even an hour out of London is at least GBP 700 a month, plus 100 GBP council tax. Add gas, electric an water you need another 100 per month,

So renting is around GBP 900 a month, plus food etc.
An hour out of London requires train, also expensive.

Sadly London is one of the most expensive places on earth!!

Thank you both!

GBP 900 for living isn't that steep compared to what we pay now, that's reassuring. We'll keep thinking about it still. Moving to London would make some things easier, but on the other hand...

Thanks!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[seela]

Yeah, we already took a look at the income tax there. Much lower than what we pay here, especially as here we're not able to file together. If we're able to file together as a household there, it would make the difference even larger.

The thing with the move right now is that it would result to something irreversible. That's why it's a big scary thing, but also a little tempting. I feel like I've stayed put much longer than my comfort zone allows me to.

Anyways, thanks for all the help. I'll come in with more specific questions location wise if it gets to that.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[malefica]

So, me and Master have agreed to give poly* a go The * indicates not just polyamory, but play parters and the like in the same way as a wildcard. Big step but also a massive weight off my shoulders and far less stress.

 

[StrangeView]

So, me and Master have agreed to give poly* a go The * indicates not just polyamory, but play parters and the like in the same way as a wildcard. Big step but also a massive weight off my shoulders and far less stress.

Af'noon all

Hi malefica, now that sounds an interesting concept, I should imagine that it took some careful discussion to settle on what you're both happy with.

 

[StrangeView]

Chatting with someone now and it seems to me there are people in situations where they need more or desire something else but are not permitted. Everyone needs a change sometimes.

Situations that are all too common, I'm afraid. But then again, some of the 'work arounds' can be quite imaginative and fulfilling, too.

 

[Mindfondler]

So, me and Master have agreed to give poly* a go The * indicates not just polyamory, but play parters and the like in the same way as a wildcard. Big step but also a massive weight off my shoulders and far less stress.

Good luck! I hope that it works out well for you both.

Situations that are all too common, I'm afraid. But then again, some of the 'work arounds' can be quite imaginative and fulfilling, too.

My wife and I are starting to consider a possibility that was previously unthinkable: that we might adopt additional play partners under the right circumstances. It's early days, but we've recognised that are some areas where our kinky personas don't complement each other and could be filled more effectively by others. The turning point was when we recognised our relationship need not be undermined by this, but could be taken forward to form the strong core of something more extended, enduring and beneficial for all. Also, we're both keen not to become a dull, clingy (and perhaps mutually resentful) couple that rely exclusively on each other to meet all of our needs.

We're not rushing, though. We've tried a few little experiments, but we have a lot more talking and groundwork to do in order for us both to feel comfortable with this potential change.
.

 

[Malich]

Greetings all from pompey. Sitting waiting for my first job to open up so thought I'd just drop in and litter the thread with pointless waffle just to fill my time

Meeting belle later for the start of (most of) 9 days together. Its going to be fun and our longest period together to date. So it will either be awesome or we'll kill each other!

Hope everyone here is doing ok.

Poly is great if its done right and everyone is honest about what they want, from whom, and what they can accept their partner getting, from whom. And telling everyone as soon as they realise that changes. I've had a few issues in the past wirking on what someone told me... when in reality their wants had changed and they blindsided me with it in that "you accept it or we're done" kind of way.

So talk, talk, talk.... then talk more the next day... and the next.

 

[butterfly_flip]

Morning guys

Poly could never be my thing, it's just not a place I can go, but I do admire those who make it work

On entirely a different note, sadly, yet another dark day for Belgium
I know it may be a defeatest attitude, but the boychild's school is taking a group to Paris for a trip this summer, and I can honestly say I'm so glad the boy missed out.

 

[butterfly_flip]

Also, we're both keen not to become a dull, clingy (and perhaps mutually resentful) couple that rely exclusively on each other to meet all of our needs.

[/COLOR]

Is that how you view monogamy? representative of dull, clingy people?

For me, monogamy is the only option, my choice.
It actually makes my skin crawl to think of being touched, being intimate, with anyone other than Sir.
That's not clingy, it is simply how I feel.

 

[StrangeView]

Morning guys

Poly could never be my thing, it's just not a place I can go, but I do admire those who make it work

On entirely a different note, sadly, yet another dark day for Belgium
I know it may be a defeatest attitude, but the boychild's school is taking a group to Paris for a trip this summer, and I can honestly say I'm so glad the boy missed out.

Morning all, so good to see you all today

What the hell is wrong with this world?? Is tolerance and an acceptance that it's ok to have a viewpoint different to your own really too much to ask?? For some, it seems to unfortunately be the case. Butterfly_flip, I wouldn't bat an eyelid over what anybody might think, with the situation the way it is in Europe at the moment, I wouldn't want my little fella out of my sight. It's not that much of an issue for us at the moment, he's only 7, but how am I supposed to teach him that we're all the same, we just see things a bit different? What do I tell him when he asks "Why did those people do that?"

Sorry guys, rant over.

 

[Mindfondler]

Is that how you view monogamy? representative of dull, clingy people?

For me, monogamy is the only option, my choice.
It actually makes my skin crawl to think of being touched, being intimate, with anyone other than Sir.
That's not clingy, it is simply how I feel.

I believe that you're reading more into my words than I intended. I was referring to a situation in which a couple becomes totally dependent on each other's company for all activities (which, for me, is sadly familiar when I look at my parents). Even within a monogamous relationship, there's plenty of scope for socialising individually, partaking in separate hobbies and, I'd suggest, playing with others in a BDSM context if the conditions are right.

I have every respect for monogamous relationships -- indeed, I've always been monogamous.

Greetings all from pompey. Sitting waiting for my first job to open up so thought I'd just drop in and litter the thread with pointless waffle just to fill my time

Nice to see you again! Maybe we'll meet in person soon.

Meeting belle later for the start of (most of) 9 days together. Its going to be fun and our longest period together to date. So it will either be awesome or we'll kill each other!

I fervently hope that it's the first option!

Poly is great if its done right and everyone is honest about what they want, from whom, and what they can accept their partner getting, from whom. And telling everyone as soon as they realise that changes. I've had a few issues in the past wirking on what someone told me... when in reality their wants had changed and they blindsided me with it in that "you accept it or we're done" kind of way.

So talk, talk, talk.... then talk more the next day... and the next.

Thanks for those pointers.

For my wife and me, it's about very small, baby steps at the moment. I've discovered that I'm fine with my wife participating in sensual play with trusted friends in front of me -- indeed, I enjoy very much seeing her and a friend having some fun. That doesn't mean that I'd be comfortable about more intimate sexual contact. We haven't yet tried it the other way round, either.

My wife and I have agreed a safeword/"safelook" communication between ourselves for these situations, in which we can signal to each other that we're happy or unhappy with the situation, and apply the brakes if either of us deems it necessary.

Hopefully our approach is a sensible one.
.

 

[malefica]

Sorry for the delay answering - Lit' sadly does not allow one to know when a quote has been made. Yes, it was after a long discussion; several actually! Rules are in place as well I.e any BDSM is to be bedroom only, as in, I will not call anyone else Master or have another dominant, and the same but reversed for him. We aren't in any rush to get into it but, knowing that the option is there is nice.

 

[LucyBee01]

Good luck! I hope that it works out well for you both.


My wife and I are starting to consider a possibility that was previously unthinkable: that we might adopt additional play partners under the right circumstances. It's early days, but we've recognised that are some areas where our kinky personas don't complement each other and could be filled more effectively by others. The turning point was when we recognised our relationship need not be undermined by this, but could be taken forward to form the strong core of something more extended, enduring and beneficial for all. Also, we're both keen not to become a dull, clingy (and perhaps mutually resentful) couple that rely exclusively on each other to meet all of our needs.

We're not rushing, though. We've tried a few little experiments, but we have a lot more talking and groundwork to do in order for us both to feel comfortable with this potential change.
.

Good luck on your new adventure together.
Would echo what Malich said. I am pretty new to having more than one play partner and also dipping my toes into poly. open communication and lots of it is definitely a key ingredient!

If you are a bookworm like me, a book that might be of interest is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. Although it is more focused on opening up an existing partnership in the sexual arena, it has just lots of good stuff on relationships like boundaries, jealousy, reframing intimacy, etc.

And of course there is no rush.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LucyBee01]

Thank you!

The way I feel today I might have a little dance to the radio later! I will have to develcro these animals though, who are attached to me like glue. I had cause to be away yesterday and Monday and the creatures are sticking to me so I cannot go not just from their sight, but touch, last evening and this morning.

Ooo Elle, like your new avatar!

You paint such a vivid and funny picture of you wandering around with lots of animals glued to you!

Did you dance? Last night I went to a Bollywood dance class. Wow, that is some fast moves
Think I will try it again though. I like that it is partly about creating a performance. Plus it is fun.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Mindfondler]

Good luck on your new adventure together.
Would echo what Malich said. I am pretty new to having more than one play partner and also dipping my toes into poly. open communication and lots of it is definitely a key ingredient!

If you are a bookworm like me, a book that might be of interest is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. Although it is more focused on opening up an existing partnership in the sexual arena, it has just lots of good stuff on relationships like boundaries, jealousy, reframing intimacy, etc.

And of course there is no rush.

Thanks for those thoughts. I have to throw my hands up at the moment and admit that I'm very unsure where this is going. Rather than getting clearer in our communications, we seem to be going backwards: getting confused and frustrated about our identifications of ourselves and our shared dynamic (if any).

This communicating lark may be vital, but it's also exhausting! It's not just the drain on physical and mental energy, but particularly the emotional investment that takes its toll.
.