The NEW UK Kink Thread

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Steamrunner]

Thank you, that's very kind of you! I've read the stories on Lit for ages, finally got around to signing up - I really only came to find people to chat with, but suddenly this whole new thing has opened up...

 

[LucyBee01]

Thank you, that's very kind of you! I've read the stories on Lit for ages, finally got around to signing up - I really only came to find people to chat with, but suddenly this whole new thing has opened up...

Welcome Steamrunner
Welcome to the bdsm threads! Sure you will find lots of interest. This UkKink thread meanders all over the place, from talking about sexy and kinky stuff through to the weather and bacon (did someone mention bacon?)rolls

Ah, be careful my friend. I think opening up this sweetie jar is a bit like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. You might never want to leave...

 

[LucyBee01]

Hi Everyone,

New guy here (hi, hey, how you doing) - near Watford.

Looking to see what's going on. This thread sounded interesting; whilst I am not involved in any dom/sub relationship (my wife is strictly vanilla), various exes and online partners seem to start calling me "Sir", "Master" or "Daddy" pretty quickly, and asking me to tell them what to do etc and how to please me. Whilst I've never deliberatly intended to be dominant, and I try to be "a nice guy", I must admit that there are many occasions where, looking back, the behaviour was quite Dominant. Not in abusive way - never abusive - but in being firm (I'm not ready for you to cum yet), or instructive (taking women shopping for toys and explaining how they will be used), or loving (punishment for masturbating when I'm not there, or being cheeky or teasing me). Always within boundaries, always consensual.

So, I'm wondering what I can learn - should I be doing more to cater for their needs? To allow them the have a better experience "with" me?
I know that there's a difference between calling someone "daddy" for play or 'cos it's cute, and calling them"Daddy" or "Master" because you need to.

I'm also aware that, as a married man, there may be limits to what I can do.

So - all pointers appreciated. I'm not looking to get my kicks of having power of women; far from it. It just seems like women want something from me that I'm not 100% how to give them just yet...

Hope that makes sense! And of course, if this is the wrong place, please point me in the right direction.

EDIT: I came here from the normal UK thread; I'll post in the "Hello" section as well.

Gosh, it feels like you are a little at sea...
Hmm, well do read other threads. There are a lot wiser heads than mine giving good advice to those new to these kinky shores.

But just to get you started - you will find people give different definitions to the same things, so for example, there is no one true way to be dominant, same goes for being submissive. There is so much variety. For example, some like a Daady/ little girl element, whilst for others, that is just... eeww.

Is your interest because you enjoy controlling what is happening? That would sound like a dominant tendency. Or is it something else that really does it for you?

Re your marriage - does your wife know you have an interest in D/s (Dominance/submission)? Is it something you can explore with her?

 

[Steamrunner]

There is so much variety. For example, some like a Daady/ little girl element, whilst for others, that is just... eeww.

Is your interest because you enjoy controlling what is happening? That would sound like a dominant tendency. Or is it something else that really does it for you?

Re your marriage - does your wife know you have an interest in D/s (Dominance/submission)? Is it something you can explore with her?

I prefer sir/master, if I'm honest, because I have a real little girl so it was a bit weird at first- however I have recently accepted being daddy to a "baby girl" and it's worked out ok.

On reflection, I do enjoy being in control. In chats it's usually me directing the flow; telling them what I'm doing to them, what's happening, what they need to do etc. And apparently this goes down very well indeed, if the pics I get sent are anything to go by. I guess I also enjoy being looked up to and depended upon; I don't look for that sort of woman, but they quickly turn out like that.

With my wife- no. She's not comfortable sexually and had abusive relationships in the past. i love her for many things, but sex is not one of them.

 

[StrangeView]

Hi Steamrunner, welcome aboard!! All this stuff can be quite daunting when you first decide to stick your head into it, but I think Lucy summed up opening the door pretty well. Don't be afraid to ask about anything, there's plenty of us on here, and we'll do our best to give you a meaningful answer . And sometimes, we've even been known to talk sense!!

 

[Steamrunner]

Hi Steamrunner, welcome aboard!! All this stuff can be quite daunting when you first decide to stick your head into it, but I think Lucy summed up opening the door pretty well. Don't be afraid to ask about anything, there's plenty of us on here, and we'll do our best to give you a meaningful answer . And sometimes, we've even been known to talk sense!!

Ha!

Well thank you, I've been looking around and reading and chatting to a few people. I've put up an ad in the personals to see what happens. Need to do a bit more work, then waaaay more reading...

 

[skinnysinner]

Ha!

Well thank you, I've been looking around and reading and chatting to a few people. I've put up an ad in the personals to see what happens. Need to do a bit more work, then waaaay more reading...

Welcome indeed, a fellow explorer who is still working out, as you are, what works. Empathise with your situation, it's mine too, and Lit has been very cathartic and continues to be. As Lucy said, the differences in interpretation and definitions are vast, but labels are just that and it's what you enjoy and how, and who with that is important.

Enjoy Lit, lots of us do in so many ways!

 

[TheSilverLining]

Just poking my head in to say hello. Because I feel that I do a lot of reading, and some lurking, and a lot of random posting. But I never say hello.
So...hiya. <waves>

 

[StrangeView]

Just poking my head in to say hello. Because I feel that I do a lot of reading, and some lurking, and a lot of random posting. But I never say hello.
So...hiya. <waves>

Hi SilverLining *waves back*

 

[TheSilverLining]

Hi SilverLining *waves back*

Hi StrangeView, how goes it?

 

[StrangeView]

Hi StrangeView, how goes it?

Pretty good today, and yourself?

 

[Malich]

Evening all and hello to the new faces

Well, I've survived my first few weeks in the south, the locals have not noticed me as an impostor and with luck I am now safe!

I have, however, just bought the most expensive piece of plastic I have ever owned. £3900 for an annual travel card. I plan to do a lot of journeys by train at the weekends just to get my money's worth out of it!

 

[LallyH]

Evening all and hello to the new faces

Well, I've survived my first few weeks in the south, the locals have not noticed me as an impostor and with luck I am now safe!

I have, however, just bought the most expensive piece of plastic I have ever owned. £3900 for an annual travel card. I plan to do a lot of journeys by train at the weekends just to get my money's worth out of it!

*faints*

HOW much???

Just for perspective - I bought son a travel card last year which means he can travel free on any bus in the whole of the NW (anywhere in Merseyside, Manchester and Lancashire). Annual cost - £395....

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[LucyBee01]

Evening all and hello to the new faces

Well, I've survived my first few weeks in the south, the locals have not noticed me as an impostor and with luck I am now safe!

I have, however, just bought the most expensive piece of plastic I have ever owned. £3900 for an annual travel card. I plan to do a lot of journeys by train at the weekends just to get my money's worth out of it!

Ooo, have you adopted a southern accent too?

Ouch on the travel card. Hope you manage to get a seat on your journeys...

 

[LucyBee01]

Just poking my head in to say hello. Because I feel that I do a lot of reading, and some lurking, and a lot of random posting. But I never say hello.
So...hiya. <waves>

Helloooo and welcome

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Malich]

No southern accent yet. And yes, on most trains I've managed a seat!

 

[StrangeView]

No southern accent yet. And yes, on most trains I've managed a seat!

Morning Malich, good to hear you're doing ok . £3900 for a travel card? I spend less than that buying cars!! Then again, I spend less on cars than most people do on train tickets . When's Belle due back?

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Malich]

I have a car too, for those days where a train just won't cut it.

And i get to see belle 5 weeks today. 9 down... 5 to go.

 

[Steamrunner]

Yowch. I work in London and have had a few colleagues live down Brighton way; they don't seem to mind the travel cost, just the lack of alternative options when the trains go wrong...

On the plus side - scenery! Beaches! Air!

 

[StrangeView]

Well, that's me done boys and girls, back in a week or so

See you all later

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]