The Outlook

[Luna_Wolf72]

Returning from the real world, head throbbing. Nostrils flare as the scent of a fading Warrior, someone well missed. Some one I was happy to be here to greet. He gave me faith in men, in a way that the more macho guys I was drawn to, never could. He made me smile.

My feet picked their own paths, taking me toward the water's edge. I wanted to think on owed threads, on posts I need to write. Eventually, I sank down into the sand, my toes being cleansed

 

[Annisthyrienne]

*A nearly breathless elf runs down the beach full tilt, taking the steps up to the Outlook two at a time, and sliding into the media room like Tom Cruise in 'Risky Business'. Practically diving on the remote, she hits the button for the bid screen and flips the channel to Versus. It's bull ridin' time!

Calling for a hard cider and a pepperoni pizza, she makes it to the couch just in time for an 85 point ride. Shaking her head at the tight cowboy butt that is framed oh so perfectly in those chaps, a wistful sigh escapes her lips.*

YeeeeHaw!

 

[Annisthyrienne]

*It's Sunday evening, and Round 2 of the San Antonio Bull Riding event starts at 8. The elf is early tonight, already in her place on the big comfy couch with the big screen hi-def TV already on. She doesn't care for 'high stakes poker' on TV though, so she has Kill Bill 2 on for the next half hour or so. The idea of watching people play cards on TV is about as exciting as watching golf to her. What's the point?*

 

[DarkWarrioress]

My Tribute To Her

Bare feet take me to the water's edge, my hands filled with red rose petals. I stand on the end of the dock, looking out to sea as I release the petals to the water and watch as the tide pulls them out to sea. Folding my arms across my chest, I stare out across the water.

We’re a miracle creation. I mean, think about it. A single cell wiggles itself into another single cell and together, cells begin to divide and form. In nine months this little replica of what we are is formed and pushed from its haven to begin to grow itself. How cool is that?

What freak hapless circumstance is it that makes us a victim of our own bodies? Where we become, truly, our own worst enemy where our bodies fight against itself to survive? Why does it only happen to some people and not to others?

Cancer does not discriminate. It comes to the old and young alike. It doesn’t care that it takes away someone we love. It doesn’t care if it takes away someone that this world would truly be better place for if left here.

They say there is a silver lining in everything if you truly look. Diana believed that. It was woven into the very fiber of her being. No matter what the odds, no matter what was faced or the outcome, there was always a silver lining. Three years later and it was still hard to find one in this. But, there was one. Absolutely. My Twin. My Heart Sister was gone, but her legacy was not.

The words to a Madonna song filled my mind. Life is a mystery. Everyone must stand alone. In the End, we must stand alone even if we are surrounded by loved ones. We make the journey into this world alone, we leave it the same way. It’s a solitary walk. Much like the journey itself. We walk with family and friends, but ultimately, it’s our own solitary walk. We decide. We choose.

Diana had left me with Hope. In the deepest, darkest hour of pain, when that hour passed and I have wept for what was taken away, mourned the loss of what would never be again. No more phone calls. Never again hearing her husky, raspy tone in my ear. Never again having her companionship except in my heart and through my memories. She knew damn well I knew there was a silver lining, not in her passing, but in her.

So many late nights, into ridiculously early mornings, we sat at our computers and talked periodically through the silence of the night, as we did our own thing. We giggled, discussed, shared. We made a dream come true, together. We had always said we were a matching set, so much alike yet just different enough to make us, individually, interesting.

Diana was cremated. Her ashes were split up into three smaller urns. Her husband had one in New Mexico, her sister back in North Carolina had another and one was meant for me, here in California. I couldn’t make it for her funeral/memorial service. Her husband sent the ashes home with another friend of ours. She lives south of me. The intent was simple. Each of us would take her ashes and pour them into the ocean. Diana touched so many lives she felt that if her ashes were scattered on the oceanic waters, she would touch all of us, no matter where we resided. She would bring us all together any time any of us went to the ocean, looked out and thought of her. That was my Diana. Always thinking of others. Always a silver lining.

That’s why I am standing here today, on the shore’s edge, in this cyber place, tossing rose petals into the ocean. It seemed fitting.

You and I enjoyed places like this. We wrote stories fitting for such a place and shared them with the world.

I know you’re off on different adventures now, Diana.

I celebrate your life. I mourn your absence.

You still make me smile.

I miss you.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Footsteps lead me from deep woods to sea side. Eyes glance around, noting no one, before stripping down to panties and bra and running helter skelter into the waves. I need this. The connection with water, with sea shore, with fish and all things aquatic. I need this.

Strong strokes carry me far out of sight, down into the deep blue of the waves, into the blue green ambient light beneath them. I play there~far from the shore. Away from my worries, my physical aches and pains, my mental hurts. Eventually, I strike out toward the surface and break the calm to float on my back.

The sun light is fading, taking it's last rays with it. In other parts of the world the sun is cresting or giving heat with all it's strength at the height of the day. For me? It is meandering west ward, lowering bit by bit, saying good bye.

I feel better. More calm. Better able to take the pot shots, the ignorance, the hurt. I am better and have been since I made the apologies I believed were due. I am no longer out of balance.

The sea soothes. The waves refresh and my mind casts back toward home. Maybe I will have other posts to work on soon, but even if I don't? I still have the idea to flesh out for M13. I still have words that can be expressed in other ways. Poetry, music, chanting.

I have words now...when for so long, I didn't. I am blessed. Happy, healthy. Whole. I know who to thank for this state of affairs in the real world. I know who deserves my thanks for this state of affairs here. I hope they know that I thank them, in my heart, daily.

When communion is done? I flip about and head for shore. I have words...and I need to use them.

 

[Annisthyrienne]

* A mischievous elvish lass sneaks along the sea shore using her best elf stealth mode. Spotting a cache of clothes left behind, perhaps by some unfortunate victim of the strong tides, she thinks. Ah well, no sense in letting them go to waste. She picks them up, tucks them under her arm and heads for the Outlook patio.*

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

A laugh from a distance...wolven in nature...

"You only thought you had something good! I wore my clothes HOME!!!!"

 

[Annisthyrienne]

Well then I must have found some homeless person's rags.










Oh wait, I'm homeless!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Walking along the shore line, watching as the sun makes his final descent below the horizon. I am scared, but better able I think to handle shit. I have a good daddi, really cool friends and I am not alone, no matter how I feel.

This is one time when I wish I could talk to a strong one though...or even an ex boi toy, but it what it is and I know it will not happen. I sink into the sand, my head dipping beneath the weight of my worries. I have done what I was supposed to do...and now I have to do an even harder thing. Now, I have to wait. And pray.

 

[Erlind]

I walk barefoot through the sand until I reach where the water reaches for the shore. Today my boots have been forsaken for the feel of sand between my toes. Otherwise I remain the same as always, jeans, heavy shirt, mind, and spirit.

I see Luna here. I can almost feel the fear and uncertainty roll off of her. All I can offer is all I've offered her though, distraction.

"Luna, how are you? Feel free to lie if I helps. I find it helps me sometimes."

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Turning slightly at the words of a missed friend, I motion for him to sit beside me...

"Come cuddle me? That would work wonders..."

 

[Erlind]

I sit beside the lovely woman. I wrap a strong arm around her and give her a soft kiss on the cheek. I lean down into her to gently scrape my teeth on her neck.

"I'm glad to know I can help."

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Curling my body into his, my head resting on his shoulder. My voice is low, husky. tired.

"You have been very helpful, even without trying hard. Hell, I have developed a bit of a crush."

A small grin...

 

[Erlind]

I shake my head. She and others have told me time and time again that they enjoy my writing, but being someone's crush is another story.

"You must be confused Luna. I am at best, the slightly off putting friend. At worst I'm the strange creeper you try not to talk to. With a single, strange, exception, I am never the crush."

I don't mind the mistake. The quiet night curled up with her on the sand is all I could want at the moment. Though with her I do always end up wanting more ...

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

One small finger ticks under his nose.

"uh-uh. You are a good man, a fighter, intelligent and a bit of a smart ass. You are kind to those you want to know and polite, even to those you could give two fucks for. You are definitely crush worthy. Deal with it."

I feel better. In the RW, my daughter had texted me to tell me she is ok and that she is sorry. My daddi has told me she loves me and that she will come when I call. Here? My friends poured out love and support and I felt...ok. I needed that. NOW? Now I am sitting by the water's edge with a good man, a sweet friend...and dammit...one of the few men I have ever developed a crush on. My night was improving.

 

[Erlind]

"It doesn't fit into my view of the universe. I can't. And a the moment I see no reason to let you try to make me."

Some of that smart ass she mentioned shines through in my smiling face. I throw myself against her. My fingers slip under her top to dance around her belly to see if the wolf is ticklish. If she is I have my distraction and the topic will likely be forgotten.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Giggling hysterically, my hands batting at his, hips jerking, body flailing.

"Nooooooo!! Stop!!! Please!!! Sorry. Won't mention it again..... STOP!!!!"

Fuck, he's got me begging!!!

 

[Erlind]

When I finally let up she breathing heavily and she's still trying to dodge my advances. Her shirt has been pushed up leaving her belly exposed. I'm on my knees next to her where she's on her back.

"Good. Some things are best left alone. Most aren't, but some are." Maybe giving her the chance to recover was a mistake. Maybe I should have just continued my assault, my advances, along a different path, but that's alright. A little wolven retribution never hurt anyone.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

His words have a hidden seriousness...I listen and acknowledge his point. I can still cyber crush, I just won't tell HIM. A wicked grin and I push dangling dark curls from my eyes, glaring up at him playfully.

With one smooth motion, I roll away from him, stand up and begin to strip down.


"Fine, you've won this round. But there are many more battles to be had...."

Flip flops, black Dickies shorts, black wife beater, black panties, black sports bra. These things all fall, one right after the other. Eventually the moon shines down upon naked caramel skin.

"So NOW? I am going into the ocean. Join me...if you dare..."

 

[Erlind]

I can't let that beautiful form leave me behind. It would be almost irresponsible not to follow her. I rush into the dark waters after her refusing let her out of my sight for a moment. The water pulls at my clothes and piece by piece, and bit by bit they swirl off. The water shouldn't be strong enough to pull them off, but they disappear anyway.

Diving after her all I can catch is her ankle for the moment. I try to pull her back towards me, but its hard to keep my grip.

"I have you now."

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Flipping quickly, hands darting up over a muscled chest to connect behind his neck.

"I was wondering what kept you..."

Legs hook around his waist and a soft kiss graces his cheek...

"You are MUCH warmer than the water...."

Solitary hand snakes upward, trailing nails over his nape...

"So, now that you have me...what do I win??"

 

[Erlind]

For a second the logic of me catching Luna, winning her a prize baffles me. Then I stop letting it.

"A lifetime supply of butter flavored toothpaste. Warning may contain no tooth cleaning properties." I laugh at the terrible largely nonsensical joke I've just told to the luscious woman in my arms.

"Or you can take what's behind door number two. I like door number two. There are nice things behind it." I can't leave the absurd line of joking alone even when she has me drenched in desire. I step back drinking her in to the point of drowning in her.

"So what do you want?" A question I always seem to ask her with an answer I always seem to know. What can I say? I love hearing it. Or feeling it when she answers without words.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Husky laughter. I am smiling. The first real smile in hours. He is a nonsensical beast and I like it. But door number two? That sounds so very, very intriguing. I wonder if door number two includes him tied down and at the whim of my very tender mercies. What do I want? He knows...but I decide to make it easy for him. Legs tighten imperceptibly and I slip just a bit, nestling his length against the warmth of my nude center.

My mouth brushes his in a soft kiss, then a deeper one, teeth grabbing his bottom lip and tugging.

"What do I want? You. With a bow...but I will settle for this..."

Hips shift again, realigning, and I feel the press of hardness...right there. Should I?

 

[Erlind]

I growl, but not out of pleasure or desire tonight, but out of frustration. Did I piss off an unseen greek god? Is this my boulder to push up a hill?

"If I don't disappear now I won't wake up in the morning and as much as I want to have you, I can't have that. I guess I'm destined to be an eternal tease to you Luna, whether I mean to or not."

I chuckle lightly even though I hate leaving. I walk out into the surf a little and a large wave appears out of nowhere. It crashes down over me and when it recedes I'm gone. It didn't carry me out to sea, that much is clear. It just took me out of sight long enough to disappear entirely.

"Sorry Luna, another night."

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Husky laughter...ah me, we will never get this together. At least I can get him in our thread...eventually. With a snap of my fingers my clothes reassemble themselves. I walk up the beach and sink into the sparse grass there. Soon the RW will yank me away as well. But it will be a good reason to go. My Daddi is coming.

Wicked laughter...as I think on his frustration. he won't escape forever....