The Predators Among Us

[JupitersGirl]

i'm probabaly just dense, or perhaps naive, but i haven't noticed anything like this going on around here. sure, there's the random "want join instant sex chat?" message that comes in from time to time (i save the best ones) but other than that, i feel pretty safe here. am i just missing obvious red flags?

Same here, bunny!

Then again, I don't have as much time as I'd like to read all the threads, so maybe I am just missing it.

 

[Pure]

Des said,

/Men, in general, seem to be clueless [to female predation] until it's too late./

Jeezz! I may be in trouble and not even know it! Holy shit. Do send out a search party to retrieve my bones, if I disappear for more than a week.

 

[cellis]

I've yet to find out what the buzz about this shit is really about other than a long time ago, cell was approached by an asshole. Would someone reach down and find a pair and explain this blatent presence in plain English?

WD you were the one who first posted about predators years ago... I am surprised that you are so upset.

I simply have been seeing things happen here for quite sometime and thought that it would be a good topic for discussion. I simply drew on my own past experiences as an example.

I don't understand your anger about this topic.

 

[cellis]

Re: Hmm..

Yes, there are predators among us. Typically guys (well...all guys to my knowledge. Could be a rare exception somewhere).

I could go into some large psychological analysis but I think they look to the wrong things. Many people are bound by emotions that govern them. These people tend to be criminals. A lot of guys on Lit just PM a woman with nothing more than "Oh i'd love to fuck u please give me ur phone number so we can have phone sex." But there are some who demand more. I dunno...maybe the whole idea of subs and slaves gets to these guys so much that they really believe there are women out there who will do anything for a total stranger. How to fix it? That I don't know.

I do think that when people don't understand the dynamics of BDSM, it can lead them to thinking that there those of us who will do anything for anyone... and at one end of the spectrum I am pretty sure that there those people...

I don't think that it is just submissives and slaves who are approached inappropriately... I have heard Dom/mes both talk about this happening to them as well.

 

[cellis]

Re: Re: Hmm..

There are more predatory women at Lit than perhaps you have noticed. I would venture to guess the this unwanted behavior comes from almost as many women as men. It is most definately not a gender exclusive phenom.

Well we have all seen some of them in action both here and on the general board...

 

[cellis]

Re: Re: Re: Hmm..

I have to agree.

Also, I would caution anyone on line to use common sense and also, would add that being an asshole doesn't necessarily mean someone is a predator.

Admittedly, I have noticed a lot of both, from time to time, here and elsewhere on line.

I think for many of us, the anonymous nature of lit helps us to be more open and more direct than we may feel able to be in real time. But then, there is a group of individuals who, rather than view the internet as a tool to take down the barriers of image and reputation and use it as a tool by which to be rude, inconsiderate, intolerant and assholish!

Hello Miss T....

Thank you for stopping by and commenting...

 

[cellis]

i'm probabaly just dense, or perhaps naive, but i haven't noticed anything like this going on around here. sure, there's the random "want join instant sex chat?" message that comes in from time to time (i save the best ones) but other than that, i feel pretty safe here. am i just missing obvious red flags?

I think that we all tend to be pretty insulated from time to time... and just to see what we want to see... also maybe such behavior doesn't prick you behavor as it does others...

Thanks for posting bunny.

 

[cellis]

I wanna be a predator...I'm just too lazy, I guess.

Oh Johnny! I think you have a new title... "The Lazy Dom"!

 

[cellis]

ADR said, seconded by Miss T,

//There are more predatory women at Lit than perhaps you have noticed. //

I've been here two years and haven't run into one. I wonder if I'm doing something wrong? . I recall one near-psychotic clinger, but aside from that, nothing.

Perhaps we should start a pm campaign to make you feel as if you are being pursued!

 

[cellis]

I call it predatory because I see the new poster and know that as soon as the particular predators I am thinking of come online and find the 'new blood', they will make their customary suggestions, sometimes online, sometimes off, sometimes both, and that even when ignored do not necessarily back off. They remind me of charks circling the fishing boat waiting for the catch to be cleaned, anything that comes within range is open game...is not what I, and many, like to see on a discussion board which clearly tries to dissuade such behaviour and intent. Is as repulsive as the drunk in the bar who won't take 'no' for an answer, all the time seeing himself as somebody the woman should feel honoured to have been pestered by.

Catalina

Thank you Catalina... I feel much the same way.

 

[cellis]

I see them all the time. Female predators are a little more subtle in their approach but are quite easily recognized by other women. Men, in general, seem to be clueless until it's too late.

Okay , now I am going to be watching for those predatory women!

Hi Des!

 

[WriterDom]

WD you were the one who first posted about predators years ago... I am surprised that you are so upset.

Since this predator behavior is on the board and "extremely obvious" why can't you point in out instead of making accusations that rumble through the lit subbie clique pipeline.

 

[cellis]

Since this predator behavior is on the board and "extremely obvious" why can't you point in out instead of making accusations that rumble through the lit subbie clique pipeline.

But then we would not have had all this interesting conversation...

Oh and I did not know there was a subbie clique pipeline... not being privy to goings on as a rule.... Thanks for cluing me in... I shall be on the lookout for them now....

 

[WriterDom]

But then we would not have had all this interesting conversation...

Oh and I did not know there was a subbie clique pipeline... not being privy to goings on as a rule.... Thanks for cluing me in... I shall be on the lookout for them now....

shouldn't a fantasy thread be moved to the Cafe?

 

[cellis]

shouldn't a fantasy thread be moved to the Cafe?

Sorry you feel that way, WD.

 

[WriterDom]

Send your proof to me in a PM and I'll be happy to out this Predator. Wouldn't that be doing the subs here a service?

 

[esclave_PP]

Personally and not so personally I see this all the time, when some male or female will make unwanted advances. Usually it is just in fun, but if a person is too pushy you can always choose to ignore the person or simply type back, my Master/Mistress sure wouldn't appreciate your message to me. They know they are overstepping their bounds especially if it is public that you are owned. I also think that these pests have nothing better to do than ruffle feathers. I wouldn't take them at all seriously. Just click ignore, and they are gone. Like Rose said, there are lots of ways to keep those kinds of folks from bugging you. Like Bunny, I feel relatively safe here and that I can be open, but that is because of things like the ignore button.

Predator for me in my mind connotates more like pedophile type person -- I would have to agree that these people while agressive, are merely pests and not to be taken too seriously. If they serially bother you then reporting them to Laurel might not be a bad idea. Remember, they don't know where you live or where you are....

 

[WriterDom]

I think there is a big step between unwanted advances and Predators. I see no difference between spam and unwanted advances, and they should be both be treated the same. There are a lot of pathetic men/boys online who don't care if you are married, owned, 14 years old, or submissive, the only requirement is that you are female. If someone is going to fall prey to that, then they are too stupid to own a computer.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Oh Johnny! I think you have a new title... "The Lazy Dom"!

Goddamned right!

 

[catalina_francisco]

But then we would not have had all this interesting conversation...

Oh and I did not know there was a subbie clique pipeline... not being privy to goings on as a rule.... Thanks for cluing me in... I shall be on the lookout for them now....

Damn, what did we do to miss out on being included in the 'in' group?!!! It's unthinkable!!

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

Sometimes it's easy to misunderstand, misread and misinterpret what people post. When you can't hear the voice, see the eyes and face and read the body language, all there is to go on are letters on a screen. It's easy to misunderstand and equally as easy to jump to the wrong conclusions about a person or a situation that probably is not even occuring.

I have been guilty of all of that.

But I have found that almost without fail, if I ask a person (in pm) what they *really* meant, I get the truth and everything is cleared up fairly quickly.



As far as the word predator goes... we all have our own interpretation. To some, it can be a person who preys on those who appear weak and vulnerable... all the way to the other end of the spectrum, to a person who stalks and scares others. But ultimately and usually, you cannot be prey to anyone unless you allow that to happen. There are tools to protect yourself and then there is good, ol' common sense.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think there is a big step between unwanted advances and Predators. If someone is going to fall prey to that, then they are too stupid to own a computer.

Mmmmm, I don't think there was mention of anyone falling prey, more the existence of the predator behaviour. A predator does not always catch their prey, but they are still predatory in their behaviour and a predator.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

And then there's this... never think it's about you, because it almost never is.

mmmm... That should actually go in my Lit lessons thread.

 

[WillowPuss]

Well, I am a little late (as usual ...)

cellis, I have noticed it on and off.
unfortunately, it has always been around - and probably always will be.


and ... I am really miffed about not knowing about the subbie clique thingy-do
but then, if you didn't; and ADR didn't; and catalina didn't ... maybe it's our age???

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Well, I am a little late (as usual ...)

cellis, I have noticed it on and off.
unfortunately, it has always been around - and probably always will be.


and ... I am really miffed about not knowing about the subbie clique thingy-do
but then, if you didn't; and ADR didn't; and catalina didn't ... maybe it's our age???

*plaintively*

clique? damn. I miss everything. It HAS to be the age thing. I say we start our OWN clique.

One where we don't get called "subbie"! Sheesh, I hate that. Something a bit more....dignified. *chuckling*

~anelize